Garden of Serenity (5 page)

“Jahara Khateri, get over it. They were dreams. Manifestations of your own subconscious, nothing more. You’re not a visionary. Your nightmares mean nothing. There are no enemies at the Garden, save for your own trepidation. You miss your life and fear what’s to come. Plain and simple.” Jahara didn’t normally talk to herself, but she found solace in the sound of her voice. Alone now for almost twenty-four hours, it helped fill the void of the empty apartment. “Mating is not betrayal. Keep repeating it, you might actually come to believe it.”

She let out a caustic laugh as she left the bathroom, trying to ignore her reflection in the mirrored ceiling of the bedroom. Jahara still felt she was cheating on the promise of fidelity she’d given Merenith. Though the woman hadn’t uttered the words herself, Jahara needed to believe she had a woman waiting on the outside the walls of this mixed-up world. She fingered the ring on her finger, knowing it held no significance but hoping it would hold off the inevitable breeding as long as possible.

She entered the living space with its high ceilings and dining area, pausing for a moment to stare out the glass doors on her right. The surface of the pool on the private terrace sparkled with the jewels of unnatural sunlight. She debated going for a swim, but the exercise hadn’t helped last night and she didn’t expect it would work off the nervous energy coursing through her this morning. “You need to choose a breeder, mate, get pregnant, birth the babies and go home.” Saying it that way made it sound so simple, but the nausea clawing its way into her throat said otherwise.

Instead of swimming, she headed around the plush couch, turning left down the hall, past the second bedroom, and into her study at the end of the corridor.

Someone had delivered and unpacked her personal belongings as she’d napped in the sun on the back deck yesterday. If people could come and go from her living quarters, Jahara wondered why they’d bothered to program the front door with her fingerprint identification.

She stared at the camera in the corner, a red light blinking as if counting off the seconds of her imprisonment. The cameras were placed strategically throughout the apartment. Everywhere except the two bathrooms. She’d wondered how administration knew how often a woman copulated until she’d seen the evil eyes mounted in every room, invading her privacy. “Copulating for enjoyment, indeed. Who’s enjoyment, mine or the observers?” She stuck her tongue out at the camera.

The hologram of the desert and mountains that she’d programmed for this room did nothing to help her surly mood. Jahara touched the dark screen of the video-communicator sitting on the desk next to her private computer. The ache of homesickness squeezed her chest. In the relative privacy of her office last night, she’d finally reached Merenith. She’d been granted a thirty-minute connection. They lamented together about the horrible cleansing and the ritual mating she’d witnessed.

She hadn’t told Merenith she’d been too frightened to go through with her first mating and that a breeding guide and her partner would arrive sometime this evening. Merenith hadn’t asked about it either. Jahara wondered if it had more to do with jealousy than lack of concern.

The singing chime of the doorbell startled her.

Scurrying down the hall, Jahara tried to figure out who could be here at such an early hour. She rushed through the great room, bumping her hip on the dining table as she turned into the small kitchen. She didn’t even bother to check the peephole before pressing the button that retracted the door.

“It’s your wake-up call,” Attika announced. “Can’t be late on our first day,” Despite her muscular frame, Attika moved with exceptional grace over the threshold, swirling Jahara’s robe in her wake. “Jahara, you’re not even dressed.” Attika looked at the timepiece at her wrist. “We’ve barely an hour before we have to be at the healing facility. I do hate being late. I’m so excited. I didn’t take time to eat.” Like tiny explosions of sound, her words came out in staccato bursts.

Looking around the kitchen, Attika spotted the empty decanter on the shelf. “You haven’t even made morning tea? Have you eaten?” She fisted her hands on her broad hips. “You go shower, or do whatever you do in the morning, obviously you can’t wear
that
.” Attika waved her hand the length of Jahara’s body. “You need to put on office clothing.” She smiled down at her own attire.

The pale blue wrap dress was belted loosely at Attika’s waist, exposing most of her plentiful bosom and the flat muscles of her stomach. “Shows off my figure quite nicely if I may say so myself and Zenick let me know he approved of how I looked before I left this morning.” Her cheeks flushed as she ran her fingers down the generous opening at the front of her dress. “We’ll talk about all that over our morning meal. Go. I’ll put together a little something for us to eat.” Turning to the refrigerator, Attika didn’t bother to see if Jahara had complied with her command.

Laughing at her new friend, Jahara returned to her bathroom and her morning routine.

Twenty minutes later they were seated at the dining table, feasting on the fresh fruit and pastries Attika had found in the fridge. Everything they needed was provided by the Garden.

Yesterday, to ease the dull ache of loneliness, Jahara had wandered from the rather large complex of breeding apartments through the Garden proper; the area where residences, administrative buildings and buildings for essentials were located. Stopping at the bakeries and small shops, Jahara had used only a small portion of her weekly credits to stock up on food and clothing. The delivery service had unpacked it before she’d returned home from her walk. Obviously, there would be no secrecy in her life for a very long time.

The herbal tea Attika poured into their cups was bitter. Jahara knew it wouldn’t have the energy-boosting effects of the rich brew she usually made, but it was hot and helped wash down the dry multigrain pastries.

“So anyway, I got to try both of them.” Attika spoke around a mouthful of fruit. “M’Dame will be so pleased. She hoped I’d find a breeder with Ennessy ancestry. You can’t imagine how happy I was when there was not one but
two
standing there among the men. Kylie must have seen my confusion because she came right over and suggested we all go into one of the private rooms. I didn’t have to pick, but I could see if I wanted one or both as a mate.” Tipping back her cup, Attika drained the liquid.

“It was amazing, the whole thing. The breeders were wonderful really. It’s just incredible how well trained they are. I was so nervous about that first mating, but the men touched and stroked me until I was begging them to mate.” She popped a strawberry into her mouth. “Kylie and her breeder made it look sort of … I don’t know …” She lifted her shoulder, red flags coloring her cheeks. “You know, boring. But it’s not, is it? It’s the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. I can only hope I don’t get pregnant too soon. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never been with a woman, but no neuro stimulator ever brought on an orgasm so intense. And when both of them—”

“Attika.” Jahara didn’t want to hear about the woman’s private matters. “I mean, really, not at the morning meal.” Staring into the amber liquid, Jahara swiveled the cup in her hands, sending the dark sediments churning. She couldn’t tell this child she had vomited twice before realizing she just couldn’t go through with the mating yesterday.

“I’m sorry, Jahara. How silly of me. In the end, I chose Zenick.” Attika poured more tea into her cup and sipped thoughtfully. “I mean, I know I could have chosen both, but it didn’t seem right. And Zenick, well … you should see him. My birth-sisters had told me about Ennessy men’s …” Pausing, she waved her fingers over her lap. “He’s … huge. That’s all I can say. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but he was slow and careful.” Attika fell back against the seat, her head resting on the high back of the chair. A look of ecstasy relaxing her normally intense features. “It was painful and exhilarating and I climaxed several times before he spilled his essence.”

Leaning forward on her elbows, Attika leaned in conspiratorially. “I felt sort of bad for the other breeder when I didn’t pick him. He did look disappointed. But really, they know the women choose. It’s not like there’s any emotional attachment. He’ll get over it. Right?” Attika stopped talking and stared at Jahara, her features morphing from elation to confusion. “Jahara, are you all right? You look ill. You’ve hardly touched your meal.”

“No, I’m fine. What were you saying?” Jahara continued to stare into her cup, her appetite for the food in front of her dissipating with each sentence Attika spoke.

Attika shrugged. “Just that men understand, or at least I think they do. Who knows what they’re capable of comprehending. It’s not like they’ve been gifted with any amount of intelligence. Zenick and I barely spoke yesterday.” Her voice trailed away.

Jahara stared at her. She realized her revulsion was as obvious as Attika’s excitement. The woman across from her furrowed her brow. Attika’s eyes were mere slits as she pierced Jahara with a probing stare.

“I lost track of you yesterday. Did you choose a breeder?”

“Actually, no.” Jahara wondered how much to tell her. “There were so many men, I couldn’t decide on one.” But that wasn’t the truth. She’d been too frightened to take advantage of the private rooms where many of her breeding sisters had no doubt suffered through their first copulation. Attika made it sound almost bearable. But what did the child know of a woman’s love? Jahara couldn’t stand the thought of a man touching her, let alone being so intimate with her body. “So, no, I didn’t mate yesterday,” she said in quiet embarrassment.

“But I thought everyone chose yesterday and mated. I just assumed you had mated and were planning on having multiple breeders since they gave you such a large living abode.”

Jahara watched the blush rise straight up Attika’s neck until the color of her skin matched the short stubble of hair. Attika’s gaze dropped to the plate of food on the table. “How stupid of me. Someone with your status would be given lavish living arrangements regardless of how many breeders you chose. I’m sure you have your pick of the breeding stock. I’ve made a fool of myself again.”

Reaching across the table, Jahara’s hand was dwarfed as she laid it on Attika’s. “Stop. It wasn’t a foolish assumption. I wondered myself why they gave me such large quarters, especially since I’m the only one here.”

Attika’s jaw dropped. “What? You mean you have no men? I mean Zenick and I mated all night and again this morning. I just can’t get enough sex. I just assumed the same thing had happened with you and that’s why you weren’t dressed.”

“Why would you assume that? If someone else were here, they’d be eating with us.”

“Another woman yes, but not a breeder.” Attika shuddered at her words. “As much as I enjoyed copulating with them, I would
not
invite a man to my table. They have been taught manners, it’s true. But we all understand animals don’t feast with women.”

“Attika!” The name exploded out of Jahara’s mouth as she shot to her feet. The wooden chair toppled loudly on the tiled floor, but Jahara didn’t care. “I will
not
have you talk about breeders like that in my house.” Leaning forward on her hands, Jahara caught Attika in her steely gaze. “They are
not
animals. They are humans like you and me. Conceived and born just the same as females. They aren’t trained to do tricks at your beckoning. They may not be our equals, but they certainly deserve more respect than you offer them.” Rage and indignation quaked over her muscles. She didn’t know any men. Hadn’t done any more than treat their injuries. But even she didn’t lump them in with Merenith’s farm stock.

Attika slammed back in her chair, her eyes wide with shock. “You are a great healer, Jahara. I didn’t mean to offend you in your own home. It’s just that M’Dame said—”

“No, I’m sorry.” Jahara dropped her head in shame. Of course this young woman was only repeating lessons learned at her family’s table. She had no right to condemn the child for her personal beliefs. “I have no more life experience than you. It’s just that …” She met Attika’s wounded expression. “They are human. If you keep your mind open, it may be possible to learn something from them.”

* * * *

Jahara shifted restlessly in the back of the vehicle. Sometimes she wished she hadn’t been reared to speak her opinions so freely. Attika had obviously been offended by her outburst. There was nothing she could say that would bridge the discomfort sitting between them.

“So, shall we share a ride back together this afternoon?” Jahara kept her tone light and cheerful.

“I’m probably not staying the whole day. Zenick mentioned he’d like to take me on a tour of the Garden. There’s a lake in the agricultural section on the far side of the Garden proper that’s supposed to be quite lovely and secluded.” Attika kept her eyes averted to the side, watching the breeding apartments flash by as they drove. “Today’s only an orientation for me anyway. They won’t need me to delve into the reams of numbers for a couple of days. Statistics don’t take much of my time. Pretty straight forward to keep the Garden’s birth census and calculate supply orders. I’ll only be working a couple of days a week anyway.” She carelessly lifted her shoulder. “I’ll let you know which day I’ll be going back in.” Attika turned back to Jahara, the corner of her mouth lifting. “Perhaps we’ll ride in together on another day.”

That was the total sum of their exchange.

As they passed the little shops, Jahara stared at the women choosing fresh produce and clothing. Their hands fluttered in animated conversations. Making friends had never been her strong suit.

When they pulled up to the medical complex, Attika jumped out of the vehicle, mumbling only a cursory farewell. Jahara’s heart sank. No Merenith and now she’d completely alienated the one breeding-sister who’d reached out to befriend her. Loneliness was a heavy burden.

The driver delivered Jahara to a separate entrance around the back of the large structure. Had she not seen the dome of the Garden from the outside, she could have believed she was at the healing facility in Lexington. Trees shimmied in a light breeze and clouds skittered in a cerulean sky overhead. There were even live birds flitting about in the flowering shrubbery.