Gaining Visibility (34 page)

Taking only the few steps that brought him from the surround of rosemary into the open, he planted his feet and crossed his arms in front of him.

Julia was determined not to mirror his defensive gesture. She forced her hands to let go of each other and dropped her arms loosely to her side, palms out and open in invitation.

She waited, watching for any sign of acceptance or rejection, but his face remained impassive, chiseled in stone.

“I was foolish to let the difference in our ages be a factor,” she said. “A number can't determine who I love. It took me a while to figure that out, but I've figured it out now and I'm hoping you can understand. . . .”

Vitale's hand shot out in a stop gesture, cutting off her air from ten feet away. He moved toward her slowly.

This was it. She tried to read his expression, but found nothing that hinted at either acceptance or rejection. Locking her knees was a mistake, but she did it anyway, determined to stay strong and face whatever was coming. She fought the urge to glance back and make sure Lino was still there, offering quick escape.

Vitale advanced until he stood only a foot away, invading her space, invading her senses. The temperature rose slightly as a result of his close proximity. His breathing echoed in her ears. She inhaled, letting his familiar scent permeate her nostrils and lungs, lingering with subtlety on her tongue.

He filled her vision until she saw nothing but him.

“Julietta.” He spoke low and the darkness of his tone haunted his eyes. “I do not accept the e-mail because the message, she tear my heart. I suffer much.”

He was so close now. She longed to touch him, but that would be a mistake. One touch and her self-composure would evaporate. She clasped her hands together and held on tightly. “I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing you a favor. Setting you free to love someone else closer to your age, someone you can have children with. But then I realized how good we were for each other. We brought out the best in each other, and that's what love should do. And the decision to have children or not is yours. Not one I should make for you.”

“Julietta, you speak too quickly. I do not understand all you say.” He inched closer. “I think you return to me, yes?”

“Yes.” Her voice drifted into a whisper.

“You return to me and stay with me forever?”

“If you want me to, yes.” Her mouth formed the word, but the lack of breath behind it nullified any sound. She nodded for emphasis, trying to make him understand.

The dawn of understanding broke through the darkness in his eyes.

The touch of his large, warm hands was agonizingly tender when he cupped her face, and her bottom lip quivered in response. He stilled it with a brush of his lips.

His hands dropped away from her face, replaced by his arms enfolding her, pulling her to him. She felt gloriously pinned against the stone wall of his body as his mouth closed down on hers with more intensity. Vibrant heat coursed through her veins, and she threw her arms around his neck, meeting his grip with the strength and certainty of her own.

Their mouths met. Their tongues danced. Their bodies melted together in the heat of the embrace. Their hearts fused.

The world faded completely and Vitale became all the world right then.

She could have—maybe would have—stood there kissing him forever, had the sound of giggles not developed into laughter and then noisy chatter all about them.

She forced her reluctant mouth to let go of Vitale's and let her eyes focus on the outside world again.

“Ah!” A surprised gasp tore from her kiss-swollen lips. The world was full of people. Vitale's family. She'd expected them to stay in the house, but they obviously wanted to be a part of this happy scene, and that warm thought filled her heart to bursting.

Adrianna was the first to squeal and rush to them, joining their embrace, and then Julia was in the middle of a group hug, arms embracing her from every angle including around her knees.

She laughed and Vitale laughed with her, his eyes gleaming as he kissed her again.

But as quickly as they'd appeared, the embraces from his family evaporated as everyone got quiet and stepped away.

Glancing around for the cause of the sudden abandonment, Julia's gaze ran headlong into Angelina's. She stood ready to meet the challenge in his mother's eyes.

“Angelina, I know you don't approve of my relationship with Vitale.” Her voice remained calm, drawing strength from Vitale's arm resting around her shoulder. “And, as a mother, I know you want what's best for your child.” She looked up at Vitale's face, and the love in his eyes propelled her forward, out of his hold.

She walked over to stand in front of his mother, meeting her woman-to-woman. “I may be older than he is, but what's best for Vitale is what makes Vitale happy. And I intend to make Vitale very, very happy. I can't give him children, so he has a decision to make. But I'll accept whatever he decides. I love him that much.”

Someone, one of Vitale's sisters, translated. Julia dared not break eye contact long enough to acknowledge who was speaking.

And so it was Angelina who broke the eye contact, shifting her gaze up and beyond Julia. She asked a question, and Julia heard Vitale's strong, “
Sì,
Mama.” Her scrutiny turned again to Julia.

The tightness around Angelina's eyes softened, but only minutely. When she spoke, Julia listened intently to try and comprehend, but came up blank except for the words
Adrianna
and
Vitale.

Vitale's voice came from close beside her. “She say you help Adrianna the very much when she fear the cancer and you love the mother-in-law. You are the good woman.”

A smile budded on Julia's lips despite the tears that blurred her vision.

Angelina said something else, and pointed to Vitale and then to Julia.

Vitale took a deep breath. “She say she do not think you stay with Vitale, but she hope to be wrong.”

Julia nodded, holding Angelina's gaze. “That's fair. Time is the test for all things.... I'll take as long as I need to prove myself.”

Vitale repeated her words in Italian.

Angelina's eyebrow rose in a “we'll see” gesture that Julia returned. A half smile told Julia the message had been received. Then Angelina motioned toward the house. “Come. We eat.”

As she allowed herself to be towed toward the house, Julia remembered Lino. She needed to tell him it was okay to leave and threw a quick glance over her shoulder. To her surprise, Vitale was already loading her luggage into a different car while Lino walked up the walkway accompanied on one side by Celeste and Orabella on the other.

Angelina scurried to set two more places at the table as everyone settled back down to their half-finished meal.

Vitale leaned over and whispered to Julia, his warm breath a sensuous caress around her ear, “We do not stay long,
bella mia.
”

She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “
Ti amo,
Vitale.”

In response, he kissed her softly on the cheek.

* * *

“I have the need to speak with her.” Vitale watched Julietta's reaction, unsure what to expect but breathing easier when she showed no anger or animosity and merely nodded.

“I understand. Take as long as you need. You and I need to talk, too.”

He kissed her fingers, a gesture he hoped conveyed he could love her for that statement alone.

Excusing himself, he went in search of Mama, who'd remained conspicuously absent from the gathering since the meal and cleanup duties were finished. Despite her welcome to Julietta, her demeanor had grown more sullen with any reference to his and Julietta's future . . . and the references had been many. So by the end of the meal, Mama's tight-faced scowl looked like a clay mask that had been pushed in on the sides.

She thought he was making a mistake, and he knew in his heart he wasn't—a regretful impasse, sure to go on for years. Perhaps to the end of her days. But he couldn't let it begin in earnest without first trying to soothe away as much of the pain as possible.

He found her the first place he looked—in the olive grove. “Mama.”

She turned to him with weepy eyes that said she knew he'd come—had, in fact, been waiting for him. He held out his hand and tucked her arm in close to his side. “Walk with me.”

They made their way slowly along the path, deeper into the surround of trees, out of view from the house. She leaned into him as she walked, sniffing and wiping her eyes. When it became evident she wasn't going to start the conversation, he did, leading with, “I told you she would come back.”

“And I told you she will not stay,” came the matter-of-fact retort.

He gave her a sidelong glance and shook his head. “You do not really believe that. You cry because you know she
will
stay.” Her grip on his bicep tightened, indicating he'd hit a nerve. “And, therefore, because of the grandchildren you will never have.”

Her voice exploded from her chest on a sob. “I cry because you obviously have not thought this through. Not like I have, Vitale.” When her chin quivered, his chest tightened in response. “Since the day you were born, I have thought of little else. Thirty-four years I have imagined the handsome line of sons you would produce.” She halted midstep and tugged his arm to turn him toward her, stretching up to take his face in her hands. “Sons like yourself, who would carry on the proud name of de Luca. Am I to toss those dreams away as if they never existed?”

The callused palms caressing his cheeks twisted his insides. Hard and rough, they were living evidence of how hard his parents had worked to give him and his sisters a good life. How could one possibly repay such a debt? Despite her dramatic posturing, Mama asked little in return.

But what she asked, he was unwilling to give. He needed to make her understand.

“I grieve for the children I will not have, Mama. I will not deny that. That grief was especially strong after Luciana died and burdened me a great deal in the years that followed. I would lie awake at night and think,
If only we had had a child together
.
If only a part of her remained that I could physically hold and watch grow.”
The poignant memory sliced his heart wide open, and he didn't try to hold back the tear that slid down his cheek. “I even thought of getting someone pregnant—someone I didn't love—just to have a child. But that would be wrong, would it not?”

Mama brushed his tear away and nodded. “Yes, Vitale, that would be wrong.”

“But now, the person I love cannot have children. Do I stop loving her because of this? If Luciana could not have had children, would it have been right to stop loving her?”

“No, of course not.” She patted his cheeks, and he turned his head to place a reverent kiss on each of her palms.

“You and I agree on this.” He took her hands and cradled them against his chest, so she could feel his heart as well. “But there is more that I need to speak from my heart, Mama, and I pray that yours will listen. I do not ask you to toss the dreams away—only that you modify them to accept the path my life has chosen.” He drew a long breath. “I have, in fact, produced a line of sons that carry on the proud name of de Luca.”

The way her eyes went suddenly wide with dismay caused him to smile. “My work,” he said. “The pieces I create—each one is my child that I breathe life into . . . that I nurture and grow into a form I am pleased to present to the world bearing the de Luca name. These—my creations . . . my children—will be around for many generations, I think. Probably long after you and I have left this world. They will remain, and the name will remain. This is the life I have chosen, and Julietta is the woman I have chosen to share that life with if all goes as I hope.”

A tear slid down Mama's cheek. “But those children cannot fill the seats around your table when you are old,” she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion and what he realized was selfless concern. “Cannot hold your hand when you lie dying in your bed.”

He shook his head. “No, you are right about this. But Julietta has a daughter who will perhaps fill the seats around our table with grandchildren. And when I lie dying in my bed, I hope it is Julietta's hand that I still hold in mine. I love her, Mama. She makes me happy. A parent cannot wish a better life for a child than to see him happy and fulfilled, surrounded by love.”

Mama looked at him long and hard, scanning every inch of his face. Finally, she drew a long breath and shook her head. “Such talk, Vitale.” The corners of her mouth drew up slightly, but not all the way into a smile. “You are too much like your father.”

He tilted his head and gave her a grin. “With the perfect amount of Mama mixed in.”

She chuckled as he tucked her hand once again against his side and started to walk, though he wanted to run.

This time, they headed in the direction of the house.

Where Julietta waited . . . holding out her heart to him.

Exactly the way he had seen it with his own.

* * *

Julia woke, lying on her side with Vitale's arm curled protectively around her waist. She blinked, allowing her eyes to become accustomed to the darkness.

They'd been so preoccupied with each other when they arrived at Vitale's, she hadn't looked around much. From what she could see now in the dim moonlight, the bedroom looked the same as it did the morning she left in such a hurry. Nothing had changed . . . nothing discernible by vision.

In reality, many changes had occurred on the ride home and in the quiet times in between their lovemaking.