Full Share (Shore House Book 1) (10 page)

Instead of going back inside, I turned and walked home alone without a fear in my body. The street was bright and full of people. Groups, singles, couples, all of them laughing too loud, enjoying their weekends as I hid from mine. If I got home early enough, before the rest of the house, I could be asleep prior to their arrival and absent from the after-party. My pace quickened with the thought of it. They had to leave me alone if I was unconscious.

I opened the door, and Tank turned to me with surprised joy covering his face. There would be no escape from him. “You’re home!” he said and walked over to me. He had a long joint hanging from his lips. He pulled me by the elbow to a chair he’d positioned in the center of the kitchen facing the doorway to my porch.

“Tank, what are you doing?”

“Shush. I need you to see something.” He sat me down in the chair and leaned over so he didn’t tower above me. “But first you have to smoke some of this.”

He handed me the joint. I held it in my hand as the end burned from the barely present night air touching the paper’s edge. Weed seemed simple compared to my roommates, and I suddenly realized what plagued every thought of them. They were advanced. They were into things I wasn’t. Like white powders, and pills, and bar fights . . . and engaging each other with the sole purpose of getting to know each other. “This is just weed?”

Tank stopped moving and looked from the joint to me. He wasn’t offended. He was almost curious. I’d shared a secret with him, but the secret was about himself. Tank did other things besides smoking marijuana.

“Just weed.” He watched as I inhaled deeply. “I’d tell you if there were something else in there.”

I took two more hits and coughed until I thought I might never stop.

Tank reached over to the sink and poured me a glass of water. “Here.”

“Thanks,” I said through the coughs. I handed the joint back to Tank and took another deep breath. The clean air filling my lungs soothed my throat and my mind. Tank sat on top of the kitchen counter and smoked. He studied the end of the joint, the ceiling, and finally me. He smiled like he’d just discovered I was there with him. I inhaled and felt the breath travel down to my lungs and the oxygen reach every inch of my body. The world was moving in slow motion, or so I thought.

“Here.” He hopped off the counter and handed me the joint.

“I’m good. Very good. You finish it.”

Tank licked his fingertips and put it out. He placed it on the counter and poured himself a glass of water. When he saw my glass was empty, he refilled it, too. We drank our water pleasantly until I forgot about the bar I’d been in earlier.

“Now sit still and don’t take your eyes off the doorway,” he said.

“What are you going to do?” I giggled. I felt eight years old every time I was with him, but now especially as I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.

“I’m going to fly.” Tank turned up the speakers in the kitchen, and the bass of the music centered in the bottom of my stomach as it thumped louder than the rest of the song. My eyes focused on the damaged molding around the door. The wood was frayed on the bottom; the paint was missing. The work of a puppy with sore gums.

His fingertips appeared first, stealing my concentration from the molding and centering it on the left side of the doorway. Ever so slowly, he moved forward until his hands, forearms, and elbows were visible in the middle of the doorway. Tank was flying, and I was laughing. It wasn’t until the first of his hair was visible that I could see he’d turned Jack’s fan toward him, which blew his hair back wildly as he careened through the sky. When his face finally came into view, he was as serious as a super hero.

The sight of him mesmerized me, as if he were truly flying and the chair I was sitting in was somehow in the sky, too, allowing me to watch him from above the earth. Tank’s flight was one of the most amazing things I’d ever seen.

“Nora, I’ll be back,” he yelled over the music and closed his eyes. He swayed slightly to each side, countering the wind in his imaginary flight and staying his course.

Tank inched out a little farther until his entire torso was flying through the doorway and then, when the angle was too far to hold, he fell forward and landed on his stomach, ruining the illusion and making me return to uncontrollable laughter. I threw my head back and laughed at the stained ceiling. I doubled over, letting the hysterics infect me until I held my stomach to control myself.

Jack appeared in front of my chair. I didn’t know how long he’d been watching us, but he was clearly intrigued by what he was witnessing now. He was the perfect addition to our theater.

“Hi,” I said to Jack, and Tank came back into the kitchen. He nodded at me, giving me permission to share his new skill. Tank handed Jack the roach and the lighter.

Jack stared at both of them and then looked back at me quizzically. “Well, well, well, what have you two been up to?” His words sunk into me and made me warm.

“You’ll see.” I laughed again at the memory of Tank flying through my bedroom. Jack held the joint in his hand and stared at me until I stopped laughing and lowered my eyes. I couldn’t stop smiling though. Tank had permanently affixed it to my face.

Jack smoked the roach. The bright red of the paper as he inhaled held my mind hostage until he moved the joint from his mouth and the red dimmed. He smoked until there was only paper left to hold it between his fingers without burning himself. He placed the remnants on the counter with the lighter and turned to us, awaiting his directions. I took his hand and led him to the chair in the middle of the room.

“Here. Sit down for a minute.” Jack paused with his eyes fixed on me, and his gaze took my breath away. The weed was good. I felt everything deeper. I couldn’t hide from him or myself. With a hand on each of his shoulders I pushed him into the chair. “Down, boy.”

He broke into laughter and released me from his scrutiny. Tank was selecting a new song on the CD player. He turned back to us as the music filled the room and walked out the doorway onto my porch.

I stood behind Jack as Tank’s fingertips appeared. I thought I’d only witness it this time. After all, I knew what was coming. But the sight of him as the rest of his arms came into view had me laughing again. I forced myself to watch. I didn’t want to miss the moment when his windblown head flew by. Tank was a born performer, not breaking his role for a second as he soared in front of us. He kept his face toward the wind blowing at him and slowly moved farther into the doorway.

Jack watched Tank the entire time. He was used to Tank’s art. He’d grown up with him. To me, Tank was special. When Jack started clapping and whistled, I realized Tank was special to him, too.

Tank fell forward on his stomach, and I leaned over the kitchen counter, laughing until I began to cough. I reached over and grabbed my glass and then filled it with water. When I turned around, Jack was standing next to his chair staring at me.

What did I do?

He didn’t look away. Nothing was funny anymore.

The screen door opened, and voices filled the room in the front of the house. Tank disappeared out the back door of my bedroom. His shadow moved toward the lounge chairs near the clothes line.

“Why did he leave?” I asked and turned back to Jack.

“Sometimes he doesn’t like crowds.”

The rest of the house was loud. They were drunk and oblivious to anyone outside of their vision. I returned to my original plan of avoiding all of them. I moved toward our bedroom, but Jack stepped in front of me. He was only inches away. My face was close enough to rest on his chest. Exhaustion took over, and I imagined lying down with him. I let the sensation of wanting him spread through me.

“Ask me why I was looking at you that way,” he said and reminded me he was dangerous.

“No thanks.” I moved to the left to go around him, but he blocked me and held me close with his hands on both my arms.

“Ask me, Nora.”

I let my head rise. I couldn’t turn away. He stole me from myself. “Why were you looking at me that way?” The openness of the question turned in my stomach.

“Because when you laugh like that . . . when you let yourself go, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

He took my breath away. The honesty in his eyes was breaking me. I believed in him. I believed in me. “Thank you.” I stood still in his stare. I couldn’t find another word inside me to say aloud.

Outside, a bottle crashed against the side of a car and set an alarm off.

“What the fuck?” Stone yelled from the front yard.

“Shit,” Jack said but didn’t move from in front of me. “I’ve got to go check on him.”

“You do?” I was having trouble breathing. I was shallow. I searched my mind for the logic behind not hooking up with him. Every shred of evidence that it wasn’t a great idea was lost to me.

There was more yelling out front, followed by a police siren. Jack half smiled at me and walked out the back door.

I laid in my bed and listened as Jack pulled Stone together. He had him sit on the front step and told him, “If you move, I’m going to kick your ass.” I didn’t hear a response from Stone but assumed he was sitting down. The thought of Jack kicking Stone’s ass made me smile.

The police radio clicked in and out with short phrases I couldn’t make out, and Jack’s voice randomly came through the screens, calm and in control. It was almost forty-five minutes before Jack had convinced the police and Blaire that no charges were going to be filed regarding her broken passenger car window. “Stone would happily pay for it,” Jack had assured them both.

Jack came to our room and collapsed in his own bed. I wanted him in mine.

ANIMAL INSTINCTS

“W
hen I close my eyes, I see us having sex.”

I stopped chewing my slice of pizza and stared at Ricky, utterly disturbed.

“What? We would be beautiful together. I don’t understand why you keep saying no.”

“Is there anyone you wouldn’t be beautiful with?” I went back to my lunch. The only thing Ricky longed for more than to fuck me was to shock me.

“You know, just because I have sex with a lot of people doesn’t mean I have low standards.” I regretted responding in the first place. “You’re . . .” He searched for the words. “Petite, and yet your breasts are the best I’ve ever seen. They’re real, aren’t they?”

I looked down at my chest and back up at Ricky without changing my detached expression.

“I knew it. Oh my God, what I would do with them.” Ricky fisted his hands and closed his eyes. The inside of his head must be a terrifying place.

“Are you ready to go back?”

“Why do you always do that?”

“What?”

“You ruin my fantasies with work.”

“We are
at
work.” I stated the obvious. I scanned the cafeteria and assumed no one else was talking about having sex with each other.

“Besides your boobs, it’s your hair.”

“Are you done?”

“No. And your eyes. It’s the brown hair, green eye combination.” He leaned toward me across the table and took my hands in his. “Nora Hargrove, I think we should make babies. They’ll be gorgeous.”

I confirmed no one was watching us. “You’ve lost your mind.” I took back my hands.

“I haven’t. Something about you makes me want you more than anyone else.”

“Did you ever think it’s because you can’t have me?”

“I have considered it. The only way to know for sure is for you to have sex with me.” I rolled my eyes at his words. “And then we’ll know.”

“You never stop.” I stood and grabbed my tray, but Ricky stayed in his seat. “Are you coming back?”

“I’m going to go jerk off in the bathroom first. All this talk about you has left me . . . unclear.”

I rolled my eyes and walked away.

“Please,” Tank begged, and I couldn’t resist. “I haven’t slept in three days.”

I laughed while he was busy packing his bowl.

When I’d left the Starboard, Mila was in love with a half share whose name I couldn’t remember. I only recognized him as a housemate because of his red hair. He and Mila were mismatched together, but in an interesting way. She could make anything look right.

Jack was leaning on the bar, barely drinking his beer. We’d all been drinking for hours, and he seemed like it was catching up to him. I moved in his direction to see if he wanted to get pizza, but a half share swooped in on him before I made my way through the crowd. I caught his eye right before I walked out the door and left my housemates to follow the rest of Dewey home. I didn’t realize until I was halfway down the block that I wanted Jack to follow.