Full Count (The Catcher Series Book 1) (36 page)

            Somehow she still has a pulse by the time my mom and
I get her to the Hinsdale hospital. I honestly don
’
t
fucking know how because it
’
s been roughly twenty minutes
since I found her on the floor.

            After the paramedics take Buzz out of my arms and
bobsled her down the hallway on a rollaway bed, my mom wraps her arms around me
to try to comfort me. I want to fucking slither away into a hole and die, but
there are no shovels in sight. I let my mom feel like she
’
s
doing something to help me even though she isn
’
t even
close to doing so. I just need for Buzz to be getting better and not having
these incidents on a regular basis. It isn
’
t often that I
’
m scared of something, but every time she throws up or passes
out or bleeds I
’
m sent into another panic.

             “She
’
s going to be okay,” my
mom attempts. As much as I love her, it isn
’
t going to
convince me of anything. No one sees how severe Buzz
’
s
condition is like I do. With her brain trauma, some days are good, some are
bad, and some are worse. This is clearly a worse one.

           
I don’
t respond to my mom; I
just hug her back for a moment and then take a seat in the waiting room. It
’
s killing me to not know what is going on with Buzz, but I have
to be patient, something I
’
ll never master.

            I spend an hour staring at my fucking shoes. The
number of people being wheeled into the emergency room is making my stomach
churn. After seeing the first guy with a nail sticking out of the side of his
head I vow to not see any more blood than what I saw on the floor in my
bathroom from my girl. It
’
s more than enough.

             “Sky?” a soft, high-pitched feminine voice calls my
name. When I look up, the nurse is looking around the mostly empty waiting room
for someone who will respond to the name Sky, AKA me. How she knows my name, I
have no idea, but I assume she is going to give me an update on Buzz. I stand
up and silently walk over to her, needing to dry my hands on my shorts from
sweating so badly. “Bianca is awake, and she
’
s asking for
you,” she calmly announces like it isn
’
t the biggest
fucking deal in the world.

             “Where is she?” I anxiously ask, already starting to
walk down the hallway like I know the answer to my own fucking question. In
reality, I have no fucking clue. I think I
’
m banking on
fate to get me to the right room. The nurse jumps in front of me to take the
lead and after a short walk I enter Buzz
’
s room where she
is lying in bed with a heating pad beneath her head. She looks tired, with her
eyes droopy, until she sees me and they immediately perk up. Her dark, wavy
hair is messy and slightly sweaty from the heating pad
behind
her. I bolt for her bedside and sit next to her
. Although my heart is
racing, I
’
m so much calmer just knowing she
’
s
awake and still remembers enough to ask for me by name. My mom stays in the
hallway talking with the nurse, giving us a quick moment alone.

             “What?” she slightly grins in her innocent childish
way, and I can
’
t even fathom how she can be smiling given
the situation. I guess she isn
’
t the one who woke up
wondering what the hell happened to their best friend and found the equivalent
of a crime scene in their bathroom.

            I lean down and rest my forehead on hers, looking her
directly in her eyes as I hold a small chunk of hair away from her face. “You
scared me,” I whisper, and her lips fall to parallel mine. A deep breath
releases from me just seeing her understand my pain. It isn
’
t
funny to think she could
’
ve died when I was twenty feet
away from her. It isn
’
t funny to think she could
’
ve died at all. Seriously, God,
thank you
for saving her
again.

             “I know,” she admits her defeat. “I
’
m
sorry.”

             “What happened, B?” I question her even though I
’
m sure she
’
s already reported it to the
nurses. I
’
m not even sure she fucking remembers, but I
want to see. “I woke up and you were gone.”

             “I just needed to go to the bathroom. So I got up to
go, and the bathroom light was blinding, but I kept walking. It made me
nauseous, so I decided to let myself throw up first and then pee. But I hit my
head on my way down I guess,” she explains, and my heart just fucking pulls
towards her in total disbelief that I was right there yet far enough away that
this shit still happened to her.

             “Did you pass out right away?” I ask. The last thing
I want to hear is that she was lying on the floor in agony before passing out a
while later. I will fucking beat myself up forever if that
’
s
what happened.

             “Yeah, I guess,” she tells me.

            Gently kissing her forehead first, I sit straight up
so that we
’
re no longer going cross-eyed trying to look at
each other. “Look, I know we hate rules, but I
’
d like it
if when you wake up during the night you wake me up also,” I mention.

             “You
’
re right; I don
’
t like rules,” she whines, fidgeting beneath the hospital
blanket. It
’
s the first time she
’
s
been a brat during her recovery, so I
’
m going to give her
some slack and not hold it against her. However, I
’
m not
about to let my request go unfulfilled.

             “
And I don’
t like finding you
passed out on my fucking bathroom floor with puke and blood everywhere, so we
’
re even,” I close the conversation.

             “Fine. I
’
ll wake you up next
time, okay? I
’
m sor-” she tries apologizing again, but I
don
’
t want to hear it. Once is more than enough. I swoop
in and press my lips on hers to silence them.

           
I don’
t want to make her short
of breath or embarrass her in front of my mom who
’
s still
outside the doorway, so I make the kiss quick and then ask, “So what
’
s going on? Are they keeping you overnight?” It
’
s
already 3:00 a.m. and we have school in the morning.

             “I think as long as my CT scan comes back the same
as last time I should be good to go,” she tells me.

            Since it
’
s late and we
’
re both tired, Buzz and I decide to share the bed as I let her
lay on my chest and fall asleep. My mom is uncomfortably passed out in a chair
next to the bed, so I slowly drift off as well.

            A while later we
’
re all woken up
from the sound of a doctor
’
s knock on the door. When a guy
in a white coat enters, I immediately think it
’
s bad news,
otherwise they would
’
ve just sent a nurse.

             “Bianca,” the doctor acknowledges her. “Skyler,
Susie.” I have no idea who this doctor is, but apparently he knows all of us.
He comes over and stands next to the bed on Buzz
’
s side
with a sorrowful look in his eyes. I reach over for Buzz
’
s
hand and intertwine my fingers with hers. Waiting for what he has to say is
making me nervous. “Bianca, you
’
re doing extremely well.
We
’
re very pleased with your progress so far,” he begins,
and I let out a deep breath and squeeze her hand in relief. But she still seems
tense, like she knows there
’
s a “but” coming. “However,
you
’
re not out of the woods yet. We ask that you accept
assistance from your friends and family to make sure that you
’
re
stable. After your six month mark, you can think about becoming more
independent, but we don
’
t want you to do it too soon and
have something like this happen again. Your brain injury is very sensitive, but
if you
’
re conscious and take care of yourself, you should
be able to make a full recovery.”

            No one says anything back to him; we all just nod in
understanding. And then he finishes his speech for the night, “I
’
ll
have a nurse come back in here and make sure everything else is good, but then
you
’
re free to go. Have a good night, guys.”

            The moment he closes the door on his way out, Buzz
leans her face on my shoulder. I
’
m pretty sure she
’
s agitated from being told what to do and also for her brain
injury still weighing her down. The one skill this woman lacks is patience. But
it
’
s my job to distract her so it doesn
’
t get worse.

             “Hey,” I whisper so only she can hear me. Her heart
monitor is drowning out the sound of my voice so it won
’
t
carry to my mom next to us.

             “What?” Buzz mumbles into my shoulder.

             “Don
’
t be frustrated, alright?
I
’
m fucking here for you. We
’
ll get
through this,” I promise her. She seriously needed to hear that. I can tell by
the way she shifts her body to be more open with me. “Kiss me,” I demand,
needing to feel the fullness she brings into my life.

            Her eyes dart across the room and then back to me as
she quietly reminds me, “
Your mom
…”

             “
I don’
t fucking care who
watches,” I state, knowing my mom definitely saw us kiss earlier. She just
pretends to not know about our budding romance. Buzz
’
s
lips finally lift into a smile; it isn
’
t full blown
because I think she
’
s still nervous about having an
audience, but I
’
ll take it. She leans her head up at me so
our lips can collide, assuring both of us that everything will work out. I
fucking hate sitting in a hospital room with her again. But I
’
m
fairly certain she hates it more, so I have to trust that she
’
ll
do what she can to not come back.

            When the nurse comes into the room again, she insists
that we use a wheelchair to leave. I
’
m not fucking having
it, so as Buzz is standing in front of the wheelchair I bend down and whisper, “
Hold onto me.
”

             “What?” she questions me, the nurse giving her weary
eyes for not taking her orders.

             “
Hold onto me, B,
” I repeat,
reaching my arms out, ready to lift her up. Her arms drape over my shoulders as
I cradle her into my chest.

             “Sky-” the nurse tries denying me.

             “You said she couldn
’
t walk
out, so I
’
m carrying her,” I interrupt her and without
even looking back, I walk out of the room, down the hallway, and through the
exit to the parking lot.

            The sun is starting to come up, so I know sleeping
before school isn
’
t going to be an option, at least for
me. Buzz can probably skip school and get away with it.

             “Do you want us to take you home so you can sleep
all day?” I ask her, setting her into the backseat of my mom
’
s
Explorer like she
’
s a child needing to be buckled in a car
seat.

             “No. I
’
m going to school,” she
argues, and I can read the determination on her face. The only reason she wants
to skip school is if she can do something fun - not sleep because she was in
the hospital all night.

            Arriving at school with next to no sleep is a huge
mistake. We both should
’
ve skipped. We walk into the
cafeteria before first period and collapse onto the lunch tables like zombies.

             “Wow, what the hell happened to you two?” Alex asks
us, directing it more at me since Buzz has already buried her face into her
hands.

             “We spent the night in the hospital,” I decide to be
completely honest with him and everyone. We didn
’
t call to
wake them up because even though it was serious, Beth would
’
ve
been pissed to be woken up in the middle of the night for Buzz. It
’
s shitty, but we all know it
’
s true. Alex
also knows she stays at my house basically whenever she feels like it, so at
least I won
’
t get beat up for that. If he knew what we
recently started doing, though, I
’
d have to watch my back
constantly.

            The other small conversations at our table
immediately stop and everyone
’
s eyes land on us. Buzz
stays “
hidden
” as I rest my hand on her lower back to
gently graze it and put her at ease while I handle the spotlight.

             “What happened?” Benny and Alex chorus, further
intensifying their non blood resemblance.

             “She collapsed on the bathroom floor after being
nauseous and trying to throw up,” I vaguely paint them a picture. Nothing will
fully explain how painful it is to see her like that, so I don
’
t
bother trying.