Full Count (The Catcher Series Book 1) (31 page)

             “Sky,” I blurt out, realizing what
’
s
just happened. Sky kissed me, like
really
kissed me…
at
school.

             “
Buzz,
” he replies back.

             “I thought we couldn
’
t,” I
recall. I
’
m thankful that he hasn
’
t
released his hands from me or else I
’
ll probably crash
onto the ground.

             “And why not? Because of what everyone else says?” he
questions me with his signature sternness on his handsome face. He makes it so
easy to want him excruciatingly bad. Any guilt is washed from his face. Skyler…
just… wants
me?

           
Shrugging, I answer,
“
You told McCallum we weren
’
t-”

             “
And we weren
’
t.
Not officially. But now… things are… different,” Skyler confesses, but his lips
stay straight across with no sign of a smile coming. He
’
s
so serious, and I can feel it on my skin. I
’
m trying to
process what he
’
s saying; we weren
’
t
officially… dating… a month ago, but now things are different? I
’
ve
always wanted him as more than a friend. I just never thought I could really
have him in that way. He
’
s looking at me right now as if
he
’
ll be so hurt if I deny him. This isn
’
t
his guilty conscience talking; it
’
s his heart. “If you
’
re worried about what people might say-”

            Brushing my thumb over his neck hair, I quietly shake
my head and flirt, “Us against them, who wins?” My smile takes over my face as
I await the usual response. I don
’
t give two shits what
other people are going to say. Hell, even if Skyler loses his job as my
official pitching coach, he
’
ll still do it off the field.
If he wants to do this… whatever
this
is… “officially” be with me, I
cannot say no for any reason. Every younger version of me would hate me.

            He adds his favorite word to our saying to make sure
I understand. “Us. Every. Fucking. Time,” he counters. He sweeps his lips over
mine once more but it
’
s a much quicker interaction than
the previous one that I want on replay the entire night.
Damn I like that
answer.

             “How?” I ask.

             “How what?” he throws back. I start to wonder if he
ever blinks because his eyes are glued on mine like he
’
s
winning a staring contest. His guilt appears to be gone, so it
’
s
fine by me if he looks at me like this all night long.

             “How… can this…
happen?
” I
stumble on my words since I
’
m not exactly sure what Skyler
wants, but I
’
m pretty sure it
’
s
specifically against what Coach McCallum wants.

             “We
’
ll have to keep it a secret
for a little while,” he admits in a begrudging manner. His shoulders slacken
but his eyes stay on me to register my reaction. I feel like I
’
m
on a ventilator; the air is being shoved into my lungs in an almost suffocating
way and I can
’
t breathe normally even if I try. “Tell me
what you
’
re thinking,” he demands nervously.

             “I
’
m thinking I don
’
t want to be a secret again,” I mutter as I control a deep
breath. It kind of seems like I
’
m denying him, which isn
’
t my intention, but what I say is true. Being a
secret sucks.
“I
’
ve always been a secret: with you
before and then with Chase. And I always end up getting hurt. How do I know you
won
’
t hurt me?
”

             “I know. I wish it wasn
’
t a big
fucking deal to McCallum, but it is. I want to be your pitching coach again,
but I want to be with you more,” he proclaims. Skyler Swanson is in a league of
his own. He hits his answer so far out of the ballpark that it
’
s
in Lake Michigan. I
’
m swooning so hard for
him.
“
I won
’
t hurt you,” he
pleads.

             “Sky…” I warn.

             “B, you
’
re my girl-” he starts,
and I just want to hear the sound of his voice owning me on repeat forever.

             “I know,” I tell him, interrupting his perfect declaration.
I know? I mean, I guess I kind of always had a feeling, but I wasn
’
t really sure.

             “I
’
m sorry…
you know
that you
’
re my girl?” he repeats with equal disbelief, and
I instantly blush. He caught me. I know we have chemistry and flirt a lot, and I
’
ve always considered myself to be his. However, he didn
’
t know this, and I didn
’
t know he
considered me his, too.

             “Yes. Everyone knows,” a voice behind Skyler laughs.

           
Busted.

30 Skyler Swanson

Tiffany is a fucking life ruiner. It
’
s like
she has a radar in her head of whenever Buzz and I are having a real moment,
and she has to come personally destroy any hopes of it actually playing out.

             “What? You two are attached at the eyes,” Tiffany
continues her intrusion when she joins us outside on the patio during the
dance.
Go the fuck away.

             “Is there a fucking reason you decided it was a good
time to interrupt our conversation?” I snarl at her. Buzz hangs back and
watches us banter back and forth; it
’
s one of her guilty
pleasures that I can read all over her face.

             “Is there a reason you decided to be such a
fucking
asshole?” Tiffany barks back, but she knows better than to hope for
an actual answer from me. She resumes her interruption: “The guys are coming
out here. I thought I
’
d spare you having to explain
whatever ‘this
’
is to them.”

             “Tiff-” I call out to her in an annoyed tone,
wondering how much she fucking heard of our conversation before she made her
presence known. But then the rest of the crew trickles outside. This makes Buzz
step away from me, but it
’
s to go greet her brother with a
hug.

             “I noticed you were both gone. I thought maybe
something happened,” Alex explains to Buzz. I know he
’
s
concerned about her, just like I am, but his definition of something happening
isn
’
t always on the same page as mine. At the moment I
’
m not sure if he means something happening with Buzz or with
Buzz and me. Either way he needs to back the fuck off. I
’
ll
take care of his sister if he would just let me.

             “The music was too loud inside. It
’
s
better out here though,” she grins, like the solution to her noise problem is
her greatest accomplishment. In a way, it is; instead of complaining, she did
something to change her situation, to make it better. Add that to the list of
things that make her fucking incredible.

             “Hey, she alright?” Benny whispers to me as we stand
a few feet away from the bonding siblings. It
’
s cute,
really, that even at sixteen and seventeen when most siblings hate each other
that Buzz and Alex are so close. But it also complicates things.

            Nodding, I confirm, “Yeah. It really was just the
music. I
’
m just going to stay out here with her for as
long as she wants.”

             “We can all stay out here,” he suggests. The
resemblance of facial expressions between Alex and Benny is so apparent right
now that I actually do a double take. He could easily pass at Buzz
’
s brother, too, with his dark brown hair and bright eyes. Even
Benny and Alex
’
s jaws have the same bone structure, hard
and narrow. It makes me feel like I have to get the approval of both brothers
in this situation.

             “We
’
re staying out here? Thank
God,” Sam groans as he sits on top of one of the picnic tables. Unfortunately
he
’
s
my
clone; however, his personality couldn
’
t make him appear more different. He
’
s
super awkward, and I
’
m, well… not.

            And for the rest of the night our group chills
outside on the patio away from everyone else. I can tell that Buzz enjoys
having the support of her best friends and brother, and personally, it helps me
in making her feel better for a night.

            Once the final song rings out we disperse to our cars
and head to the Ferrari household for our quiet after party. I
’
m
pretty sure Benny finagles this so he can see Baylee, but I secretly hope she
’
s in bed by the time we get there. Of course, she
’
s
fucking waiting up for him.

             “Why are they still a thing?” I quietly ask Alex
once we get into his basement and start emptying the pantry of snacks.

            We both look over at Benny twirling Baylee around
like they
’
re ballroom dancing. She must feel left out that
we just attended a dance. “Probably because you and I have been focusing so
much on Bianca, they saw their opportunity to do it without getting drilled,” Alex
offers a reasonable explanation.

             “Not an image I want in my mind,” I whine, the dirty
concept clearly on the forefront.

             “There
’
s something wrong with
you. I didn
’
t mean it like that,” he argues. His face
grows uneasy, and I
’
m glad we
’
re on the same wavelength again.

             “Mean what like what?” Benny butts in as he reaches
between me and Alex for a bag of chips.

             “We need a guys
’
night,” I
cover up, giving Alex a “just play along” kind of look.

             “Yeah, just a night of cards - no girls,” Alex
agrees, staring into his twin
’
s eyes.

             “Okay. When, Friday?” Benny suggests. He
’
s completely oblivious that this no-girls-allowed club meeting
is mostly to keep him away from a future jail visit.

             “Sure. My house; 7:00,” I tell them. No way will we
be able to have a guys
’
night at the Ferraris
’
if Buzz and Baylee are home, and Benny
’
s
house is no better with Tiffany there.

            Tonight we
’
re in the middle of
watching late night re-runs of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when I notice
everyone but me has passed out. I
’
m sitting on one side of
the giant cushion with Buzz sprawled over my lap and see Leah and Alex spooning
under a blanket, Tiffany and Sam under their own blankets and about a foot
apart from each other, and Baylee curled into Benny
’
s
chest with a leg draped over his waist. Everyone looks so natural and
comfortable, except for me, of course, because I
’
m sitting
straight up. Tiffany
’
s feet are a few inches above Buzz
’
s head, and all I can imagine is her kicking her in her sleep.

            I scoop Buzz into my arms and start carrying her up
the stairs so she can sleep safely and comfortably in her own bed. After the
accident I never asked Buzz how much of that day she remembers: if she
remembers hitting the dock, me carrying her, or anything in the hospital. It
just doesn
’
t matter. But tonight as I carry her the same
way I carried her the day of the accident, she actually opens her eyes in a
panic.

             “Sky,” she whimpers.

             “Yes, sweetheart?” I answer calmly, stopping on the
bottom stair of the main level about to go up to her bedroom. If she
’
s going to squirm I
’
d rather not be
climbing stairs while she
’s doing it.

             “What
’
s going on? Am I okay?” she
wonders in a daze, but I
’
m glad it
’
s
only sleepiness taking over her and not pain. Her voice is trusting; she knows
if something
’
s wrong I
’
ll take care
of her, and that
’
s the best feeling in the world.

             “You
’
re fine,
”
I chuckle quietly. Her eyes slowly close after my statement, like she
’
s a tired newborn.

             “Then why are you carrying me?” she grins.

             “Because you
’
re tired and I
want you to sleep in your bed,” I explain, resuming my journey up the stairs to
her room. She already changed into comfortable clothes once we returned from
the dance, so all I have to do is lie her down and pull the covers over her. I
let my kiss linger on her forehead for too long because all it does is make me
want to stay with her. But I know I can
’
t, so I stand up
and head for the door, hitting the lights off while I watch her squirm around
for a moment.

             “Sky?” she calls out, reaching her arm across her
bed to the empty space next to her.
Damn it.

             “B, you
’
re okay. Just go to
sleep,” I command even though I want nothing more than to lie next to her. I
know when I go downstairs I
’
ll spend the whole night
worrying about her, but one of the Ferrari house rules is that only family
members sleep upstairs. Even though I
’
m pretty much
family, the rule still fucking applies to me.

             “Come here,” she whispers loudly, using her finger
to direct me towards her. She
’
s killing me, but I can
’
t deny her. It
’
s not in my genes.

“You know I can
’
t
stay,” I remind her as I crawl onto her bed. This is a horrible idea.

            “I know. But we never got to finish our conversation
at the dance,” she mumbles.

            “What, that I want you to be mine?” I summarize
myself from earlier. Her short term memory still isn
’
t the
greatest, but I
’
ll never fucking hold that against her. I
’
ll tell her I want her to be mine a hundred times a day if she
keeps forgetting.

            “
But in secret?
” she adds in a
devastated manner. This girl is determined to break my fucking heart, I swear.

            “Just for now; for a little while,” I sigh, hoping
she
’
ll understand. I
’
m
using all of my self control to not touch her even a little bit, not even a
gentle hand brush on her cheek. “Unless you don
’
t want me
to be your coach anymore. I
’
m all in, B. I
’
ll
fucking quit if it means I can have you.”

            “No, I want you as my coach,” she whines, but she
’
s smiling so it
’
s tolerable. “But this has
to be a secret from everyone, even Rex?”

            Fuck. The moment of truth. “Yes. He
’
s
not exactly crazy about the idea of us being together,” I remind her.

            “But he let us go to homecoming together,” she points
out with a positive expression like she truly believes that
’
s
the only confirmation we need for him to accept this. She
’
s
wrong though.

            “I know. But full on dating is different. We have to
be careful,”
I warn her.

            Her head nods, showing she acknowledges what
’
s at stake.
“He
’
ll
have to choose sides if it doesn
’
t work out or lose both
of us,” she determines.

            I drill my eyes into hers, furious that she even
mentions that we won
’
t work out. What the fuck? Why does
she think that already? That
’
s not okay. We
’
ve
been best friends for years, and she
’
s acting like if we
separate it won
’
t kill her.
“It
’
ll fucking work out. Don
’
t worry about
that,”
I promise her.

            “What if he finds out and makes you choose between me
and him?” she wonders, worry making her eyes and lip tremble.
Where is she
getting this shit from, Samantha? Jesus
.

            “He won
’
t do that. But if he
does, I
’
ll choose you, B,” I declare. And I mean it.

            “
I don’
t want your whole life to
revolve around me,” she says, and it
’
s cute to hear her be
selfless. I think part of why she has always liked me is because her brother is
friends with me, like he thinks I
’
m cool enough to be
around so she does, too.

            “Do you not want to be mine then?” I offer another
alternative, one I fucking hate. “Because you
’
re coming up
with a lot of excuses.”

            She pulls on the collar of my t-shirt and brings me
only a breath away from her. Our noses touch, but our lips are separated still.
“I
’
ve always been yours,” she seduces me. Her eyes dart
back and forth between mine, and God, I fucking lose it. I
’
m
so glad I
’
m not the only one who fucking thinks she
’
s always been mine. “But I need you to be sure about
everything, including telling me things I need to know, even if they might
upset me.”

            “I wouldn
’
t do this if I wasn
’
t one hundred percent sure because I can
’
t
risk losing you. We either do this and get married or we don
’
t
do this at all. It
’
s all or nothing,”
I tell
her.

             “I want it all,” she confirms.

            I reach to hold the back of her neck as I drop my
lips onto hers. She tastes as good as a home cooked meal, something I always
cherish. The feeling of her hands running all over me lights me on fire. She
goes from almost completely passed out to sexually turned on in less than two
minutes, and I fucking love it. I guess hearing that someone wants to call you
theirs can flip the switch immediately.