From This Day Forward (27 page)

None of the arguments mattered. No matter how fiercely he tried to convince himself to do otherwise, he could think of nothing but seeking her out. He didn't want to face her. He'd spent the last five months hiding from her and the unwanted emotions she stirred in him. He didn't want to wonder if she'd look the same, if her skin would be as clear and sweet as he remembered it.

And yet somehow, without making a conscious decision, he found himself in Ines's herb garden. Caroline was there, as Ines had said she would be, bending over the plants that had pushed their way through the earth. Her light dress of pale rose cotton swathed her body in a way that made it evident she'd forgone corset and petticoats.

A wide straw hat shielded her face and head from him, but he heard her sigh before she straightened wearily and wiped her hands on her skirt.

He couldn't help marveling at her ethereal beauty, her fragile grace, her sensual power. She stood for a moment, her face lifted, her eyes straining toward the distant dock, and his foolish heart quickened at the thought that she was looking for him, thinking of him.

Oh, Caroline, how I've missed you.
The thought leaped to mind before he could crush it.

Why was she still here? Why hadn't she left while he was
gone?
It would have made it so much easier all the way around. Unless....

His gaze followed her hand as it moved caressingly over her gently rounded abdomen.

"Hell and damn," he muttered under his breath, shock vibrating through his being. He'd known it was possible, but somehow he hadn't really believed it would happen.

He couldn't take his gaze away from her belly. He couldn't stop thinking about his seed growing inside her, his child. It filled him with joy and terror.

Stepping back so that the shadows of the jungle concealed him, he watched her walk away toward the house. He'd gotten what he'd wanted, what he thought he'd wanted. A child. His own child. The very thought scared the hell out of him.

Chapter Fourteen

The
door to
the
study
flew open and Caroline glanced up from the ledger with a gasp. Jason stood in the doorway, his face registering shock as he stared at her in wide-eyed confusion.

Her heart hammering in her chest, Caroline tried to still the trembling that had overtaken her at the sight of him. He looked the same but not the same. Lines of fatigue creased the flesh around his eyes. His hair had grown longer and hung nearly to his shoulders. A day's growth of stubble shadowed the lower half of his face. His wrinkled clothes appeared as worn as he did.

Anger and joy mingled in her chest. How she'd missed him, even if he was perpetually angry. They had parted so bitterly. The months of waiting, waiting for another chance to reach him, to make him love her, had seemed interminable.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked as he
moved toward her like a jaguar stalking its next meal.

Swallowing hard, Caroline managed to find her voice. She would not be intimidated by him. "
Senhor
Aveiro received word that his father was ill."

He placed his hands on the desk and leaned across it toward her. She'd forgotten how tall he was. Even when she stood before him, his size dwarfed her, made her feel small and helpless. But seated as she was now, he towered over her like a tall Amazon canopy tree over a palm.

Fighting the urge to recoil from the cold anger in his eyes, she continued, "He—he had to leave immediately for Portugal. There was no one else...."

Jason slammed his fist on the desk and Caroline jumped. The force of the blow set everything on the desk to trembling.

"Why didn't you send word?" he asked between clenched teeth.

"I knew I could do the job," she replied, unable to keep her voice from shaking. "I kept the books for Derek."

Jason seemed not to hear her. Reaching into his shirt pocket, he withdrew a piece of paper that he flung onto the desk. "Are you responsible for this?"

Caroline's heart grew cold as she recognized the purchase requisition she'd drafted for the new water pump.

"I can explain," she muttered past the lump in her throat.

"I might have known," J
ason said, his voice soft and full of loathing. "You forged
Senhor
Aveiro's signature."

"It—it was the easiest thing...."

Caroline fell silent as Jason's booming laughter filled the room. "God, you amaze me!"

"I knew that the companies in Manaus were accustomed to dealing with
Senhor
Aveiro," she hurried to explain, though she doubted he was listening to her. "Instead of writing and trying to explain the situation, it made more sense to handle it that way."

"You had no right! What the hell were you thinking?"

"Please do not swear at me, Jason!" She came to her feet, facing his irrational fury with calm poise—on the outside at least. On the inside, her heart quaked and her body trembled with apprehension.

"I should do more than that! I should wring your neck!"

Trying to remain calm in the face of his fury, Caroline said, "The water pump was broken and—"

"It breaks regularly."

"I know. That's my point."

After her talk with Ignacio, Caroline had expected some initial resistance from Jason, but not this unreasonable fury. It was only natural that he be frugal after living in poverty for the first part of his life, but how many times had he repaired a worn-out piece of machinery to keep from spending a little money? "The pump needed replacing months—perhaps years—ago."

"Who gave you the authority to make a decision like that? To spend my money? It breaks and Luis repairs it and it works again. You had no right!" He slammed his fist on the desk again for emphasis.

"Luis was with you!" She took great pride in reminding him and watching the color rise to his throat and the fury flame in his eyes. "Besides, have you ever stopped to think about how much time you waste repairing an old, worn-out pump? Time that you could use more productively?"

"That is none of your concern! I thought I'd made myself clear that I didn't want you sticking your nose into my business!"

"I was only trying to help," she said, forcing the tears from her eyes. "You know, with a new pump, you could harvest the coffee much more quickly. The faster you can wash it and dry it and get it off the patios, the sooner you can harvest more. In fact," she went on, lifting a book from the edge of the desk and riffling through it, "the man who wrote this book says that you can increase the drying time twofold by—"

She released a cry of surprise as the book went flying from her hands and Jason's booming voice shuddered through her.

"Stop it! Stop it!" he bellowed, his voice echoing in the suddenly small room.
He took a deep breath and when he spoke again, his voice was more controlled.
"I don't want to hear about your theories on coffee cultivation. I don't care that you decided the pump needed replacing. I want you to stop...." He paused, a growl of rage rumbling up from his chest and trembling through his body. "Stop interfering with my life!"

Movement in the hallway behind Jason caught her attention. Glad for the time to gather her composure, she called, "What is it, Vincente?"

Jason released a sigh and moved away, standing in a corner against the wall, his arms crossed in front of him. Vincente entered the room cautiously.

"Are you all right,
Senhora
?" he asked, darting a warning glare at Jason, despite his apparent unease.

From his corner, Jason snorted and returned the boy's stare with an expression that Vincente evidently understood, though its meaning was lost on Caroline. The boy stiffened, his face and throat reddening as he turned away from Jason and gazed at her sheepishly.

"We have unloaded the water pump," Vincente said, standing before her, twisting his hat in his hand. "What should we do with it?"

Caroline gazed at Jason, wondering what had passed between the two of them. Vincente was just a boy, a boy who felt obligated to protect her because she'd saved his life. Now she was the one who felt protective.

"
Senhora
," Vincente prompted, drawing Caroline back from her musings, "the pump. What shall we do with it?"

Caroline glared at Jason. "I suppose you should ask the
patrao,
now that he's back."

"It's your pump," Jason grumbled from the corner.

"Very well," Caroline said stiffly, lifting her chin in defiance. "Have it taken to the
beneficio.
The
patrao
will decide what to do with it after that."

With a nod and a last frightened glance at Jason, Vincente quickly exited the room.

"You frightened Vincente," Caroline accused as soon as they were alone.

Jason shrugged. "He presumes too much. You may have every man on the
fazenda
under your spell, but there are some things I will not abide."

"Vincente is just a boy," she reasoned.

"Boy or not, I will not tolerate anyone interfering between me and my wife."

A thrill raced up her spine at the possessiveness in his words. Perhaps he cared more than he was willing to admit, or was he only protecting his property as he would have done with anything else he owned?

"Why didn't you just have them take the pump off the boat before you left Manaus?" she asked, steering the conversation onto safer ground.

"How could I?" Jason reasoned, pushing away from the wall. "I'd have damaged
Senhor
Aveiro's credibility. The next time he ordered something from that company, I'd have to vouch for him. And word would get around to the other merchants I deal with. You put me in an untenable position."

"I'm sorry." But she wasn't sorry, not really. She was right. Why couldn't he admit it? And why did she get the impression that he was only using the water pump as a diversion from whatever was really bothering him? "This isn't about the pump at all, is it?"

"How long did it take you to master Aveiro's signature?" he asked, ignoring her question. "You're really good at forgery. Maybe you should become a criminal.''

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I still believe so. Why are you so angry? I'm the one who should be angry. You were gone far longer tha
n necessary. When the pump quit,
Luis wasn't here to repair it. It took two men to operate the
hanci
pump. We were already short workers because of the men you'd taken with you to Manaus, men who should have been back more than a month before they finally returned. There was coffee ready to be picked and no way to keep it from ruining once it was in the
beneficio.
If I'd waited for you to return, we would have lost half of this year's crop."

"We? There is no we. This is my
fazenda
,
not ours. I don't need your help. I don't want your help. Your meddling has cost me a fortune."'

Again his cruel words hit their mark, causing tears to well behind her eyes. Again she fought them down and faced him squarely. "You cannot expect to be successful if you hoard every penny you make. Surely you realize that you have to reinvest some of your money in the plantation or it cannot operate. Why don't you tell me why you're really so angry? It's me, it's not the pump at all."

"I don't spend money unnecessarily. And I don't need you telling me how to run my business. I did quite well before you came and I can continue to do so without any interference from you."