From This Day Forward (20 page)

"What about you?" Caroline asked. She appeared uneasy, anxious, as if she wasn't sure what he might do. "Have you had the measles?"

"Yes, when I was a child," he told her, searching her face.

She wiped a stray curl from her forehead, releasing a great sigh. Upon closer inspection, he saw the dark circles beneath her eyes that marred the perfection of her skin. Her eyelids appeared puffy, her skin slightly sallow.

"You look exhausted," he said. "When's the last time you slept?"

"I don't know. What day is it?"

"You have to sleep," he scolded gently, coming to stand close beside her.

"You don't," she said weakly.

Placing his big hands on her slender shoulders, he drew her into the fold of his arms. He wanted to hold her, just hold her forever. He wanted to crush her to his chest and tell her... tell her....

"Come on," he said gruffly, "you won't be any good to them if you don't rest."

Her weary head relaxed against his chest, and Jason felt an unaccustomed flood of affection for this courageous, determined woman who was his wife.

"I'm no good to them anyway," she murmured, her voice bitter with defeat. "I can't do anything for them. I give them quinine. It doesn't help. Nothing works."

"Now who's playing God?" he asked, trying to lessen the burden of grief he sensed inside her, trying to suppress the thrill that coursed through his body at her nearness.

"Where do you sleep?" he asked, steering her toward the door.

"I can't," she protested, trying to stop, but his momentum propelled her forward with him.

"Where?" he asked again.

"Nowhere. I haven't slept since I've been here. I don't know."

Ines stood uncertainly at the door, moving out of the way as they reached her.

"Find out, Ines," he told her, pushing the animal skin out of the way and guiding Caroline's unresisting body through the opening into the outer dampness.

Once outside, Jason surrendered Caroline to Ines's care and turned to face the man who had approached him earlier, the man he held responsible for allowing his wife to work without rest for two days.

"You bastard!" he ground out, advancing toward the other man who retreated before Jason's fury, in spite of his size.

Rage pounded in his ears and hammered through his veins. Jason drew back and punched the retreating man in the jaw, knocking him off his feet. Pain exploded in his fist, streaking up his arm, but he ignored it, stalking toward the prone man. With a feral growl, he hauled his target to his feet and drew back again.

"No! Jason, stop!"

Blinded and deafened by fury, Jason hardly noticed the voice humming in his ear. Were they willing to kill her in order to save a few of their own? A resounding yes echoed inside his brain. Yes, they would sacrifice the doctor to save the patient. She was nothing to them, no blood relation. But she was everything to him, and they were about to learn what that meant.

Once again his fist met the other man's face, the force of the blow sending him reeling backward. But this time he managed to remain standing.

"No!"

The word came again, more high-pitched this time, like a scream. A hand grabbed his arm and he shrugged it away, his every sense tuned to the man before him who seemed to have recovered and stood waiting, his own fists clenched.

Caroline stepped in front of Jason and he stopped, gazing over her head at the other man.

"Get out of my way, Caroline!" he ordered.

"No! Stop it! Please."

Grabbing her by the shoulders, Jason turned her aside, but she clutched his shirt with all her strength, clinging to him when he tried to extricate himself. Angrily, he released her shoulders and grabbed her by the arms. His large hands wrapping around her small wrists, he pried her hands from his shirt and stood staring down into her fearful eyes.

"Please," she whispered, and the blindness lifted from his mind.

Awareness returned, and he realized how tightly he held her and how violently her body quivered. Releasing her abruptly, he trembled with self-loathing, while his heart pounded in the aftermath of his anger. Had he hurt her? He didn't think so. His anger had been directed at the man who stood now staring at him, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. But at the very least, he'd frightened her.

And he instantly regretted it. In one awful moment he realized she had never been exposed to violence, to the unremitting fear of living in a world dominated by someome larger and stronger who delighted in cruelty, a world without sanctuary. Her eyes were too clear, her face too open and trusting to have endured that kind of hell, and he didn't want to introduce her to it now.

"It's not his fault," Caroline said, her voice pleading.

"I'm sorry." Jason raised a hand to her cheek, glad that she didn't flinch from him. "I'm sorry."

"Perhaps you should tell him," Caroline said, motioning toward the injured man with a nod of her head.

Overwhelmed by relief that he hadn't inadvertently hurt her, he pulled her unresisting form into his arms, holding her tightly, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"Go with Ines," he murmured.

He held her at arm's length, gazing into her worried eyes. "I won't attack anyone, I promise. Go with Ines."

"How could you let her work like that without resting?" Jason asked bitterly in Portuguese as soon as the women were out of ear shot.

"Be careful whom you are accusing," the other man warned in the same language, massaging his throbbing jaw. "We all tried to get her to rest but she wouldn't listen. We are grateful she is here, but we want no harm to come to her."

Jason closed his eyes as the tension flowed out of his body. A thin mist rose off the warm, damp earth as the clouds parted and the sky brightened.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

The black man smiled. "Don't be sorry. We thank you for letting us have your wife for a little while, and we are glad to see that you take good care of her. And now you are here, the gods will smile on us all the more. Come, there is
cachaca.
We will drink to your wife."

Jason groaned, his head still not quite clear from the drug he'd smoked the night before. What he really wanted was to go with Caroline, to hold her until she fell asleep, to be with her when she awoke.

But it would be impolite to refuse to drink with the man, especially after attacking him, so he followed him to a small table made of two tree stumps with a smooth slab of wood laid on top of them, thinking that politeness would do him in yet.

Caroline awoke to the sound of cicadas chirping so loudly she thought at first she must have fallen asleep in the open. Sitting up, she gazed around her at the profound darkness, swatting ineffectually at a noisy mosquito that hummed close to her face.

"Are you well,
Senhora
?" Ines's voice reached out to her from the darkness, and she knew she hadn't dreamed Jason into existence. He had really been there that afternoon. Was he still somewhere in the village?

"I'm fine," Caroline assured her, rising from the low, crude cot.

Ines struck a match to a lantern and the room brightened to a degree, shadows flickering and growing long against the rough walls. "You should stay in bed."

"Why?" Caroline asked. "I feel rested. Where is Jason?"

"I am not knowing," Ines replied. "Will I find him?"

"No!" Caroline gasped, crossing her arms over her breasts, aware suddenly that she wore nothing but her thinnest chemise. "No, I just wondered. I can't sleep another minute, Ines. I think it will be morning soon."

Caroline moved to the crude table in the corner where a pitcher and bowl stood.

"The water is fresh," Ines told her. "I draw it while you sleep. But it will be not hot."

"Oh." Caroline almost sighed, running her hand through the silky, tepid water. "It's too warm for hot water anyway. I'll just wash up and then go and check on the patients."

"You'll be sick yourself...."

"Please, Ines, Jason already pointed that out to me. I know what I'm doing."

Jason. What was he doing here? How did he learn that she hadn't boarded the mail steamer? However he had gained that information, he had evidently forced Ines into bringing him here. How angry he must be to realize that he had to wait another month or more before he could finally be rid of her.

"Have you slept at all?" she asked Ines.

"Some, yes."

"I'm sorry Jason dragged you through the jungle like this. It's my fault." Her voice broke with emotion, fear coalescing in her throat as she imagined her next encounter with Jason.

"Do not apologize,
Senhora
.
I am glad he finds you so he can maybe keep you from killing yourself with work."

Caroline ignored the comment, her mind and body absorbed with visions of how wonderful the cool water would feel on her skin as she tried to push the picture of an enraged Jason from her mind. She would not cower before him; she would face him defiantly and calmly.

"I will find some food, yes?" Ines said, exiting quickly.

Caroline closed her eyes, slipping the sleeves of her chemise over her shoulders and allowing it to hang down from the waist. He would berate her for disobeying him and for causing him to lose valuable time away from th
e
fazenda
.
But she hadn't asked him to come after her. She would have been just fine had he not.

The water felt as wonderful to her deprived skin as she'd imagined. Dipping the edge of her chemise into the water, she used it like a washcloth, smoothing it over her face, her throat, her bare breasts, careful to keep her back to the door in case someone accidentally stumbled into this room.

The thought had barely left her mind when she felt the prickling of a presence behind her. She wasn't sure if she'd heard something or simply sensed movement, but she knew with a desperate kind of fear that there was someone else in the room, someone between her and the door.

She turned with a start to find Jason standing in the doorway. Her arms went up automatically to cover her exposed breasts, and she stood there, half- naked and trembling.

Instead of relief that the intruder was Jason, Caroline's body resounded with a primeval fear. It coursed through her and set her heart to hammering as he stepped further into the room, his large body filling the small space. She took a step back. Spotting her discarded shirt on the floor, she bent and picked it up, wrapping it around her.

"What—what do you want?" she managed to ask. "Why are you here?"

If only she could read his expression, but she couldn't bear the intensity of those slate blue eyes long enough. Never had she felt so vulnerable, so incredibly aware of her own body. The air crackled with male vitality as he stepped farther into the room, stopping at the tiny gasp that welled up from her throat.

"Ines," he murmured, his heated gaze moving slowly over her exposed flesh, "she said the hut was empty. I'm sorry."

Ines. Why had she lied? She'd known Caroline was still inside the hut—bathing. That little schemer. She'd deliberately misled Jason, deliberately thrown them together.

Caroline watched him turn to go, knowing in her deepest heart that if she didn't stop him now, she might never have another chance to try and reach him. They'd be returning to the house soon, and Jason would disappear again. If she couldn't find him, how could she get through that impenetrable shell of his?

"Wait!" she cried desperately.

He turned to face her, and her mouth went dry. She felt terribly foolish, standing there trembling like a virgin, afraid for him to stay, afraid for him to go.

The bright red paint on his face brought to mind the Indians who had accompanied him here. Had he taken part in some savage ritual? He'd seemed so at ease with the natives; he'd even spoken their language.

Her mind catapulted her back to the day she'd encountered Jason bathing at the
beneficio.
The image set her blood on fire.