Fourteen (12 page)

We all stood up when the bell rang and walked over to the garbage cans. They threw their things away before Vince and Christina said their goodbyes, joined hands, and walked out of the room.

Smiling awkwardly I said, “I’ll see you later.”

“Anna.”

“Yeah?”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him, leaning in and brushing his lips against my forehead. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, the small amount of contact we had drowned out the immediate rise in voices in the room.

“I’ll walk with you,” he said, gently squeezing my hand before dropping it and shoving his hands into his pockets as he stepped back.

I opened my eyes.

“Okay.”

“I uh . . . I just . . . ,” he stuttered, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I need . . .”

“Stop,” I said. “Just walk me to my locker, Evan.”

I turned on my heel, starting out of the room and doing my best to ignore everyone else.

Why had he done that? It didn’t make any sense. Not that I minded, really. I just didn’t understand any of it, especially since he’d seemed so embarrassed and almost guilty about if afterward.

I sighed heavily and crossed my arms over my chest, aware of him walking beside me as we rounded the corner and started toward my locker. When we got there, he stood behind me as if he were standing guard.

“Don’t you need your books?” I turned to look at him.

“Study hall.”

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“What?”

“
That
.” I pointed toward the cafeteria, waving my hand around in emphasis.

“I wanted to.”

“And you regretted it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You just . . .” I huffed in frustration and turned away from him, grabbing my books and slamming my locker door closed. “You seemed like you . . . you can tell me the truth, Evan.”

“Anna, the only thing I’ve got left right now is you.” He grabbed my shoulders, and I flinched. He immediately dropped his hands. “It was just a . . . a thank you, I guess.”

“For what?” I asked.

“For giving me another chance.” He dropped his hands to his sides. “For sticking with me today.”

I raised my hand, ready to place it on his cheek before I snatched it back and wrapped my arms around my books.

“I told you I would.”

He looked up at me, a piece of hair falling into his face. “Seeing is believing.”

“Tell me about it.”

His mouth twitched. “I’ll see you after practice.”

“I’ll be there.”

“You’d better be.”

I chuckled and he grinned, leaning in and kissing my cheek before I had time to react. He was awfully good at that.

“See you,” he whispered before striding off down the hallway with his hands shoved in his pockets.

I watched him until the bell rang and then took off in the direction of my economics class. Well, I knew today would be interesting.

That night Evan came over, and when I opened the door, I was stunned by his appearance. He had a black eye, a split lip, a cut on his cheek, and a bandage on his chin. He looked like he wanted to punch something.

“What . . . ?”

“Don’t,” he said, taking a step toward me.

I moved out of the way to let him in, upset when I saw the slight limp in his step.

“Evan.”

“I’m not talking about it.”

“You can’t—”

“Anna,” he snapped, turning and wincing. “I’m fine.”

“It shows,” I said sarcastically, finally closing the door.

“It’s practice. What did you really expect?”

“You’ve never come over looking like
this
before!”

“Yeah, well . . .”

He mumbled something under his breath as he hobbled his way toward the kitchen. I followed him, listening as he took a sharp breath and fell into one of the chairs at the table. He shouldered off his backpack and dropped it to the floor, muttering something else that I couldn’t hear.

“Do you want something for your eye?” I asked, fidgeting.

“Ice would be great.” He sighed, leaning his elbow on the table and placing his forehead in his palm.

I walked over to the freezer and grabbed the same ice pack I’d used for my wrist, wrapping it in a paper towel before handing it to him. I sat down in the chair next to him and rested my arms on the table as he pressed the pack against his eye. He hissed in pain, and I cringed.

“Was it—”

“Not talking about it,” he interrupted, holding up his hand.

“It was because of me,” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything and confirmed my suspicions. If I hadn’t felt bad before, his silence made me feel ten times worse.

“Let’s just do our homework so that this day can be over with.” He shifted uncomfortably and dropped the ice pack to grab his bag. “I
need
this day to be over with.”

I stood and grabbed my bag from the front hallway.

It’s funny how things can change in a matter of days. I never would’ve imagined that Evan Drake would give up his popularity and damage his reputation because of someone like me.

I walked back into the kitchen and dropped my bag on the floor by his chair. Carefully, I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned down to kiss the top of his head, his hair tickling my nose and making me smile a little. He reached up and squeezed my hand carefully.

“Come on.” He tugged on my hand. “We’ve got homework to get done.”

I squeezed his shoulder and kicked my bag over to my chair. I felt like hell that this happened because of me, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate it.

I hadn’t known the meaning of hell until Evan was ostracized from his group of so-called “friends.” I was used to the name-calling and being picked on, and yes, it had increased tenfold, but Evan was not used to any of it. There had been more than one occasion when I’d had to find new ways to keep him occupied and get his mind off everything they were saying; it hadn’t been easy. There were only so many stories I could tell him about my younger days when things were good at home before he stopped laughing.

Evan never took it out on me, though. He’d promised that he wouldn’t and he hadn’t. I didn’t trust him completely, but I trusted him more than I had a week ago.

We’d obviously gotten close through all of this, and it made my heart beat faster every time he’d randomly grab my hand while we were working on something, keeping his eyes focused on whatever was in front of him as he rubbed his thumb on my palm.

He had his moments, of course, when he’d get aggravated about everything everyone was saying, and I didn’t make it any better when I’d looked at him as if he had three heads. I tended to forget that he was new to the whole social outcast thing, and he tended to forget that this was nothing new to me. When we both realized what we were doing, we found some way to distract ourselves and forget about everything that had happened during the day, whether we watched a movie, listened to music, or just talked about something completely off topic.

While I still felt horrible that all of this was happening because he chose to befriend me and stick up for me when his other friends still thought I had the plague, it was nice to have someone else to talk to. I could talk to Christina, and she’d do her best to understand and comfort me, but it was ten times different with Evan. Christina had never had to worry about being accepted or trying to fit in—it was just something that had come naturally to her. She was the girl that fit in everywhere with everyone, and while she was my best friend and I loved her dearly, I envied her that. He
had
changed and for once, it was nice to be proven wrong.

On Thursday, we were sitting on the floor in my living room, taking a break from our project and working on our English homework when he looked up and stared at me. I sat at one end of the coffee table, and he was at the other, shifting and grumbling things I couldn’t understand for the most part.

“Yes?” I asked, not taking my eyes off the weathered copy of
The Tell-Tale Heart
opened in my lap.

“Are you ever going to let me kiss you?” he blurted.

I stopped reading, shocked. “I wasn’t aware that you wanted to.”

My voice shook a little, and it felt as if my heart had just leapt into my throat. That was not at all what I’d been expecting to hear from him.

Okay. Play it cool, Anna. Keep it together.

“Seriously?”

“Your mom’s been watching
Grey’s
reruns again, hasn’t she?”

“Anna,” he snapped.

I dog-eared the page I was reading and noticed that my hands were shaking. I closed the book and looked up at him.

“Yes?”

“I’m being serious.”

“And I seriously wasn’t aware that you wanted to, Evan.”

“Well . . . I do.”

“I didn’t, uh . . . I wasn’t . . .”

I felt like I was going to explode—but in an extremely good way. Trying to keep my wits about me while I was jumping up and down on the inside as a little girl that had just got her first bike was not easy.

“You never . . . I just . . . ugh.” He groaned, fidgeting. “You always just . . . I never know what you’re thinking.”

“About what?”

“About me!” he exclaimed, looking up at me again. “Do you want more with me, or do you just want to be friends? I never know what to do with you.”

“What do
you
want with me, Evan?” My heart was once again beating through my chest.

I’d done my best not to hope for anything more with him. I’d seen the side of him that I thought could still exist. While I may have wanted more, may have wanted him to look at me in a different light, I wasn’t going to push the little bit of luck that I’d had so far.

One date, a week’s worth of working on a project for school and getting to know him, had only left me with the hope that we were friends. I’d already ruined his reputation, and the majority of his friends weren’t talking to him; I wasn’t hoping for a miracle.

“I want . . . more,” he finally admitted.

My heart fluttered.

“You do?”

“I thought you got that.”

“You’ve understandably been all over the place this week, Evan. I didn’t know what to think about anything.”

“Sorry.” He shifted uneasily on the floor. “I just . . . this is
hard
.” He chuckled and looked down at the coffee table. “I’m not used to this.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and set the book on the table before standing. I stretched briefly before walking over to him and sitting down next to him. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He sighed. “I wish you’d stop.”

“It’s because of me that you’re in this predicament.”

“If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be like this, either. I’d take this over them any day.”

I barely contained the grin that wanted to crack my face, and he laughed, grabbing my hand. He pulled it into his lap, twisting our fingers together and looking down at them. He trailed his hand over the back of mine, slowly dragging his fingers down over my wrist and gently over the area where my bruises were almost non-existent at this point.

“I can’t apologize enough for this,” he whispered.

“Hey, come on,” I said, trying to pull my hand away from him. “It’s over and done with; you’ve been forgiven.”

“I still did it, Anna. To you. For no other reason than because I was having a bad day and you were . . . nothing to me at that point.”

I involuntarily flinched, and he looked over at me quickly. His right eye was still bruised, and while the bandage from his chin was gone, there was still a mark that stood out against his skin.

“You know everything’s different now, don’t you?” he asked, his voice almost frantic as he tightened his grip on my hand. “You’re so much more than that now. You know that, right?”

“Okay, my hand?” I tried to pull away from him. “Not made of steel.”

He let go of my hand, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the coffee table.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, pulling my hand back into my lap and looking down as I fidgeted.

“Mm-hm.”

“Am I worth all of this to you? Losing your friends, ruining your reputation?”

“Do you really have to ask me that?” he asked.

“I just want to make sure, Evan. You still have time to make it right with everyone. You can go back to school tomorrow, and everything can go back to the way it used to be.”

“No, it can’t.” He sat back and turned to face me, his hands resting on my thigh.

I did my best to concentrate on what he was saying.

“Everything is different now, and I wouldn’t want that to change. You
are
worth it to me.”

I rested my hands over his. “All right.”

“Your hand okay?”

I held up my hand and flexed my fingers for him. He laughed and grabbed it, pulling my palm to his lips.

“So,” he began, lowering my hand to his lap again, “I have free rein to kiss you now, right?”

Stay cool, stay cool, stay cool.

“If you’d like to, yes.”

“You’ve been kissed before, right?”

“I was not a complete shut-in.”

“I just wanted to make sure.” He held up his hand. “I could’ve made it all fancy if you hadn’t.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

“I could’ve brought you flowers or done something really cheesy like walking you up to your front door after a date and being all awkward there.”

“You won’t be all awkward now?”

“Maybe a little.” He chuckled and slowly leaned forward. I glanced at his mouth and licked my lips.

“You going to kiss me now?”

“Mm-hm.” He smiled at me. “Is that okay?”

“I suppose so.”

“Don’t sound so excited.”

“Would you like me to jump up and down?” I said, his nose brushing against mine.

Aside from wanting him to finally kiss me, jumping up and down was exactly what I felt like doing, to be perfectly honest.

“A little fanfare would be nice, yes.”

I laughed and placed my hands on his cheeks.

“Just kiss me already, will you?”

“If you insist,” he whispered as he tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine.

I closed my eyes as he gently sucked my top lip into his mouth. His lips were so soft, and they felt so much better against mine than I thought they ever would. He placed his hands on each side of my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair as he ran his thumbs up and down my throat. Small fireworks went off behind my eyes, and I couldn’t fight my smile. I trailed my hands from his cheeks down to his chest, fisting my hands in his shirt as he pressed his lips more forcefully against mine. I scraped my teeth along his bottom lip, my heart picking up speed when a breathy moan vibrated against my lips. I was doing that to him—he did that because of the things that
I
did. I wanted to get up and start dancing around, chanting,
“I’m kissing Evan, I’m kissing Evan!”
but the actual act was a whole lot better than just boasting about it. I’d hoped and imagined this for so long, and now it was finally happening. I wasn’t dreaming and this wasn’t a joke. He pulled away slowly, kissing my top lip a few more times. He sat back down next to me, and I looked over at him, licking my lips as he did the same. My heart was still beating rapidly, and I could feel that my cheeks were flushed, but I didn’t even care. The small smile I saw on his face made the one I had double, and I felt like I wanted to bounce around the room with how freaking excited I was.

“Deal breaker?” I asked when he continued to sit there in silence.

“What?” he asked, immediately looking over at me. “Fuck no.”

“You were quiet.”

“Thinking of . . . everything I’ve ever said to you.” He looked away. “Everything everyone’s ever said to you.”

I sighed and carefully reached up to thread my hand through his hair. He grunted and leaned into my hand, his eyes closing.

“You’ve gotta let it go,” I whispered.

“Have you?”

“That’s my problem.”

He grunted again. He placed his hands on my waist and twisted me around so that my back was to him, his legs suddenly on each side of me as he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, and I carefully leaned into him, resting my hands on his forearms.

“You’re probably the strongest person I’ve ever met,” he said. “And I’m sorry that it’s taken me all this time to see it.”

“You’ve gotta stop apologizing.”

“I was and probably still am one of the biggest assholes in our entire school, and I made your life hell for a very long time. I have a
lot
to apologize for.”

“You know something?” I asked, turning to look back at him.

“I know nothing.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You’re kind of making up for everything you’ve ever put me through right now. You’re probably very well aware that I’ve had this thing for you since freshman year and—”

“Whoa, what?” he interrupted.

I ducked my head a little and wringed my hands together.

“Yeah.”

“Seriously?”

“You’ve
got
to stop watching television with your mother.”

“And
you’ve
got to stop deflecting my questions.” He reached up his hand to frame my face. “Freshman year?”