Fostering Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 1) (26 page)

Our journey to the hunting cabin remains silent and my mind is consumed by the sleeping arrangements.  His brain must be on vacation to another fucking planet if he thinks we’re sharing a bed.  “How is this going to work Jonas?  I haven’t even been home for clean clothes or toiletries and you’ve only got one bed at the cabin, which... well, we’ve been there and done that and it just isn’t going to work for me.”

“It’ll work,” is all he grunts and he doesn’t even look at me as he says it.

Jerk.

“Seriously, that’s your answer?  It’s like talking to a sodding brick wall.  Well I suppose I should be grateful you’re actually talking to me.”  No answer is returned.  “This is just crazy, seriously, take me to Barbara’s!”

“No.”

“Yeah, so now you’re a one word, one syllable wall,” I snap and get no more out of him.  “RIGHT, listen to me, I’ve got no clean underwear, nothing to sleep in and shitty clothes on that I’ve been wearing all day.  Just let me go home, I can get Neely to stay with me.”

“No.”

“No.  Is that fucking it?  So much for not stressing me out, I’m like a fucking heart attack waiting to happen.” My tirade is getting worse.

“OK.  You don’t need underwear, you didn’t the last time you stayed with me.  You don’t need clean clothes, you can borrow some of mine, you did last time and this time they may actually fit you,” he laughs at his own joke.  “I’ll talk more when you can return words that don’t induce a fucking heart attack as you put it and as for where you’ll sleep, don’t worry, I have enough room.”

He returns his attention to the front of the truck as he finishes this rant and nods in the direction of where a clearing has appeared in the forest and I’m presented with a huge, lovely one story ranch house.  More specifically, the building that was mid completion, when I last saw it as I was being carried from my infamous hot tub party.  It’s no longer mid completion and it looks finished and beautiful.  I feel stupid; I didn’t even notice we were approaching the hunting cabin from the wrong road and direction, I was too engrossed in bitching at him.

“This is yours?” I ask him in complete surprise.

“Yes, it’s not been finished long,” he answers me, with a sense of pride and then pulls up at the front of it.  He gets out, makes his way around the front of the truck and gets to my door as I am attempting to climb out of it.  “Jesus Dalton, would it kill you to wait for some goddamn help?” he snaps in frustration.

“I can manage, I have been so far,” I’m being a bitch, but I don’t care and my curt reply doesn’t go down well with him because I spot him squint his eyes in my direction quickly.  He leads me across the gravel front and up to a simple styled wooden door, he waits after opening it, like a gentleman, so I can enter first.  I am in awe of its simple beauty, it all fits him perfectly.  I can see him living here until he’s old and grey.

As I take in the furnishings I ask the question that has been playing on my mind, “How many bedrooms does it have?”

“Enough.”

“OK,” it seems we’re back to monosyllabic responses.

As I reach the main living area, I become speechless; it’s just one mammoth open plan area.  There is an amazing looking functional kitchen with a huge range and a Smeg fridge, which totally contrasts the old looking ceramic sink and old butchers block wooden island which separates it from the living room section.  The living room has a huge sectional couch arrangement which is taking up most of the space and it faces a large flat screen TV and a traditional wood burning fire. 

The dining room table is slotted off to the side and creates a third area within the one space; it seats twelve people and has huge old fashioned lamps above it that hang from the open ceiling area.  I look up to take these in and notice that the ceiling is dotted with sky light windows.  However, the absolute best feature that makes me stop and take a deep breath is that one wall is completely made of glass panels.  It is dark outside at the moment but the prospect of seeing what the view will be excites me.  I can only imagine it will be breathtaking.

Jonas is making tea at the moment and I feel uncomfortable, I don’t want to just sit down and make myself at home, it feels too presumptuous and I’m trying to remember my plan, what was it?  Oh yeah, leave when you get the chance.  He comes over with a cup of lemon tea for me and indicates that I should sit down; he has a bottle of Bud and decides to sit at one end of the huge couch.  I’m still feeling awkward, so I figure concentrating on my tea is the best option.  When the silence continues and he doesn’t talk or acknowledge that I’m here in his space I decide I may as well head to bed, I can sit in silence on my own and be less uncomfortable.  After all I’m used to that.

“Are you hungry at all?  When did you last eat?” Now he talks...

“No, I’m fine, I had a big lunch at the apartment with Mig.” I know I’ve said the wrong thing because I see his hands clench the bottle of beer harder and he takes a bigger gulp of it than he has been doing so far.  It seems he has a problem with Mig, he shouldn’t do, but I’m not going to explain my friendships to him, because I don’t have to.  So I ignore his reaction and carry on.

“Actually, I think I may turn in for the night, would you point me in the direction of the bathroom and my bed for the night please?”

“I’ll show you where the bathroom and your room are.”  He rises from the couch to help, but he knows I’ve realized he didn’t use the word ‘night’ like I did.  He leads me to a door off the side of the dining area and on the other side of it is a simple traditional corridor with doors leading off it, there are five of them in total.  Two of them are the bathroom and bedroom I’m to use, with another being his I assume, but the other two remaining doors are closed and one has a mysterious technical looking lock on it.

“Your room is this one here, the main family bathroom is here next to it and my room is the one opposite. There should be enough stuff in there, but if you need anything just let me know.”  He’s very Jekyll and Hyde, he lurches from sentences and being helpful to one word answers in a flash, which makes it hard to know exactly which Jonas you’re dealing with.

“Thanks,” I mutter and head into the bathroom which is clean, bright white and functional.  I decide to take a quick shower and wash the day out of my hair; it feels invigorating and refreshing to have some time alone so I have a quick chat with the babies whilst helping myself to his toiletries, I use whatever my hand finds.  I then realize that I’m going to have to put my dirty clothes back on, I didn’t ask him for his top and joggers before I got started.  I get out and dry myself, cursing the fact that the towels won’t go round all of me and give me enough coverage for a dash to the bedroom when I notice the neatly folded clothes he mentioned placed on the side.  They weren’t here before which means that Jonas came in whilst I was showering. 

What the fuck!  I’m not happy about that, I’ll remember to lock the door next time. 

I leave my wet hair in a towel turban style and head back to my room.  My room has a simple double bed with crisp clean bedding, a wardrobe and a dressing table.  I make my way to the window to pull the shades and peer out, but I still can’t see anything.  Turning towards the bed I stop and freeze on the spot with a bemused look on my face.  On the wall behind me are a load of frames containing pictures I've taken for various projects over the years.  Seeing them up displayed makes me feel proud and gives me goose bumps.  It’s some of my best work and I’m left wondering why they’re up and being showcased in Jonas’s home.  I get into bed and forget the confusion seeing them has caused and don’t ponder on it for too long, I’m tired.  My peanuts and I have had a crazy day and we all need some rest.  Shutting my eyes I drift off to sleep feeling safe under this roof, with my peanuts daddy.

My peanuts clearly don’t need as much sleep as me because some time in the middle of the night it’s clear they’ve had enough sleep and are playing touchdown football in my stomach.  The little swines are stomping all over my bladder; I need the toilet and can’t settle.  I tiptoe to the bathroom and make a quick stop and then make it into the kitchen using the natural light from the sky light windows before I need to find a light switch.  I root around in the cupboards for a mug and some milk from the fridge and set about making some warm milk.  I finally track down a pan and get started.

The peanuts continue to rumba dance inside me so we have our usual night time chat while I wait for the milk to be ready, hoping it will calm them down and make me feel sleepy again.  “Seriously kids, we’ve had a rough day and now you want to practice your dance moves, come on give Momma a break?” I say and lean back gently against the counter top and gently stroke my big belly.  “Holy Moses A, if you’re kicking B half as much as you’re kicking me then we’ll be having words.  Pack it in!”  I hear the milk start to bubble and spit and make to turn it off.  Jonas beats me to it though, he’s wearing pajama shorts and the smile on his face tells me he’s been watching me, I’m a little embarrassed so I carry on making my warm milk.

“Sorry, did I wake you? I needed the bathroom because the monkeys were banging on my bladder.  I thought some milk would help me sleep and switch them off so I could get back to sleep.”

“You didn’t wake me.  Sit down I’ll bring this over.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I reply.

“I know I don’t have to.  Sit down,” he repeats.  So I take a seat and watch him move around the kitchen.  He’s gorgeous when he’s sleepy and relaxed, he moves with ease and fluidity that shows his spine twisting and moving under the skin of his back.  It takes me back to our
one night
and I remember how comfortable he was with his body, all of it.

It then hits me that he has a job, a job at night.  “Shouldn’t you be working tonight?”

“No.  No work tonight,” so we’re back to short answers again with no option to engage in any sort of conversation, it’s exhausting and frustrating.  He comes over to me and sets the mug down on a coaster on the table by me.  I lean forward to pick it up and get kicked in the ribs sharply “OWWWW!” I shout and he’s at my side in an instant.  “Jesus Christ A, we’ve spoke about your night time ninja shit before, cut it out!”  Jonas is looking at me like I’m mental.  “What?” I ask looking at him, “they’re testy, I wonder where they get that from?” I mumble.  He’s still at my side and has sort of made a move with one of his hands to feel my stomach but then stops like he’s not sure, before he moves and I change my mind, I grab his hand and place it on a baby’s foot that is protruding from my ribs and sit back in the chair.  The concentration on his face is immense and when he feels the peanuts move and wriggle he gasps and smiles.  I have to look away, I have to because it’s upsetting to see your hopes and dreams being played out in front of you, but only to remember that once again it’s temporary.

The peanuts start to line dance and Jonas brings his other hand up to feel it, he slowly starts to smooth them over my bump in an attempt to calm them down, it’s heavenly.  After a few minutes they calm down and I feel my eyes close and drift off, they’re finding peace and so am I.  After a while I feel myself being moved gently, “Ssshhh Dalton,” he says and then I’m being lowered on my bed I feel my bedclothes being pulled up and smoothed around me.  I sigh deeply and snuggle down, a few minutes later I feel the bed dip and a gentle kiss on my forehead whilst hearing “Sleep tight my girl,” and then he kisses me again before I hear the door being gently closed.

When I next open my eyes, sunlight is peaking through the slats in the shade at the window and I remember where I am. I stretch out my limbs and rub over my belly whilst saying good morning to my babies.  I feel well rested and then remember why.  Shit.  Last night was not good.  He seemed so relaxed with me in his space and the way he was with the peanuts was heart breaking, it was like a father should be.

I have to get out of here before my heart is ripped in two.

He’s fucking with my head and I can’t let him sweep me up and spit me out again.  He doesn’t want this and when he realizes that, he’ll not only be undoing the strength I've managed to find but he’ll be leaving me with babies that need me and will be depending on me.  If my head is fucked I’ll never cope.

I have to get out of here now.

I go to the bathroom and take care of business and then dress in my clothes from yesterday.  I grab my purse from the side and find that my cell phone is dead, it has no battery left and I need to call a cab.  No problem, I can phone one from Chris’s.  All is quiet in the house, but I still creep like a criminal in progress in case he’s asleep, I don't want to get sprung.  When I enter the living room it’s still quiet, there is no sign of him.  I stop when I see the view through the glass windows, it’s mesmerizing and awe inspiring.  I knew it would be.  Never mind, I can’t dwell on that, I sneak in a quick glass of water and take off.  Jonas not being around is a reminder of the last time I awoke and found him gone; the resolve in my plan is restored.

I’m a little disorientated and I take a minute to search for the way back through the hedge and fields to reach Chris’s ranch.  My directional compass sorts itself out and we get moving.  After about five minutes I’m beat, my back is aching and the space hopper attached to my front feels stupidly heavy for this expedition.  I curse myself for being so hasty that I didn’t even check to see if he had a landline, my need to get out of there has caused me to think irrationally.  By the time I get to the edge of the field that is Chris’s back yard I’m seriously regretting this idea.  I am literally waddling along, stooped with my arms under my bump, trying to lift it up because doing this gives my back a little relief.