Fostering Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 1) (23 page)

“Jesus Christ. You evil, twisted piece of shit.  You fuckin’ lied.  What is wrong with you?  How were you going to explain it when you didn’t get fatter and a baby didn’t appear?”

“I...I...things changed, at first I just wanted to hurt you for all the years you used me, for loving you when you didn’t love me back.  Then things were different when you came back and I realized we could have a life together, but then you put a stop to that by only wanting the baby,” she says.

“A BABY THAT DOESN’T FUCKIN EXIST,” he screams in her face.

“But there would have been,” she sobs while she tries to justify what she’s done. 

“You are the lowest of the low Brunel, what were you gonna do have a fake miscarriage?”  Neely asks her, it seems she’s as disgusted as the rest of us and unable to keep quiet.  Letitia doesn’t answer her straightaway.

“We could have got together and then I would have gotten pregnant, but you didn’t fuckin’ want me.  You never fuckin’ wanted me it’s always been HER,” she screams back and points at me.

I can’t believe they’re dragging me into some crazy drama that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

“I was just a fill in until you grew a set and made a play for her wasn’t I?” she asks a question that I don’t want to hear an answer to and thankfully he doesn’t give her one.  When she understands she’s not going to get a response she takes off her bar apron and throws it at Jonas and then walks off.  Jonas sends a challenging look at Billy who makes the sensible decision to turn and follow her leaving the rest of us in an awkward no man’s land with Jonas.

“Jonas, mate, you OK?” Chris asks him quietly.

“No, I’m not fuckin’ OK.”

I’ve seen enough and I need to go before I do something stupid and girlie and offer him sympathy or a friendly ear.  When Neely and I get near my car, my stomach pitches and rolls and I run to a bush nearby and puke up in it.

“Hey you OK?” she asks

“Yep.  Just tired and hungry and still getting over my binge-fest.” My reply states the obvious, offers no more information and allows me time to wipe my mouth with a tissue she’s handed me.

“Well, this makes things interesting,” she says like a mad scientist, cooking up a scheme.

“No. It doesn’t.  I know that tone and I’m warning you, leave well alone.  Don’t you remember the state I was in when you found me?  He destroyed me, whether there’s a Tits baby or not we missed our time and there are some things best left in the past.  I won’t go back.  I’m not strong enough to deal with it again.  I’m sorry he’s not getting the family he wanted but it’s not my problem.  I’m done.  Jonas is dead to me.”  I finish with a deadly look so she can see I’m serious.

I stow away my camera and climb in the car as does Neely.  As I check in the rear view mirror to ensure I am safe to pullout I realize that standing less than ten foot away from where I puked and made my speech was Jonas and Chris, the look on his face tells me he heard every word.

*****

Jonas

“Mate... I’m not sure what to say to you,” Chris’s voice is quiet because he knows me and I figure he is trying to guess which way this is going to go.

“I think I need a drink, a fuckin’ large one.  Come on.” I turn and head back towards the beer tent and I hear rather than see Chris fall into step behind me.  I walk around the back of the bar and grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and two glasses.  After pouring a healthy slug in each glass I lean forward on my elbows and rub the top of my head.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what was she thinking, I knew she was stupid, but not that stupid,” Chris is as dumbstruck as me.

“Yeah well, it’s just the story of my life isn’t it?  My biggest finale is fuckin’ over the woman I want to be with in favor of some scheming tramp. What is the matter with me?” I shake my head as I finish the sentence and then drain the amber liquid in one go.

“You weren’t to know.  Even a tough guy like you has vulnerabilities.  Did I ever think I’d see someone callous enough to play that card? Shit No.  Every cloud my man, just think of that and grab that silver lining otherwise known as one hell of a lucky escape,” he says.  “You know what this means...” Chris doesn’t finish the sentence, but instead opts to pick up his drink and take a gulp.

“No.  Not going there.  That is done.  You just heard her and I know you did because I did.  She is just getting her shit together after my last fuck up and I don’t think rocking up and saying ‘That’s over now it’s your turn’, is going to go down well.  Time to let things settle and see where this new job takes me,” I say.

“Seriously, you’re giving up?  I’ll admit what you did to her was bad and as much as we’re buds you know you deserved the punch you took.  Maybe this is fates way of intervening?  But I’ll tell you now, treat her like shit again and our friendship won’t survive it.  You’re lucky I know you’re a good guy at heart otherwise I’d be putting walls up between you and her so fast you’d forget what she looked like.  Let’s not forget Neely would cut off your balls and feed them to you as well,” he says.

“I know what you’re doing.  Goading me into making a move isn’t gonna work.  I’ll move if and when I want to and right now it’s a fuckin’ huge if.  But first I have something far more pleasurable to attend to.”  I fish my phone out of my pocket and hit a speed dial.  It’s answered within a few rings as I knew it would be.  “Sheriff...It’s Jonas Drakeson... Yeah, I’ve got the evidence you wanted and it’s enough to press charges on behalf of the owner of Purps...of course, I’ll be along to complete a statement in the morning.”  I hang up and feel slightly better about things.

“Jonas what’s going on? Who have you just fucked over?” Chris asks.

“Let’s just say that this schmuk will have the last fuckin’ laugh,” I reply.

Hearing what I did that night made my resolve stronger about staying away from relationships and getting closer to people.  Jonas and his past treatment of women were coming back to haunt him, but still the revenge tactics used by that excuse for a woman were despicable.  All that said, I wasn’t going to contact him, I’d made my decision just like he'd made his.  It was just unfortunate that now both of us were hurting.

Over the next week I compiled a few different themed folders of all the shots for the tourist brochure and had a final session scheduled with Oli to agree the pictures he was going to use so I could invoice him and get paid.  Closing the door on this piece of work meant I had more time to pick up bits and pieces from Mig and Pamela.  My test job had been a hit and I’d been officially taken on as a freelance photographer, it was all very exciting.  My first job was to cover some soldiers from the local army base who were scheduled to go out and work in the local community.  It was something that they did every year to promote relations in the area where the base was located.  My remit was to capture how the different generations responded to the assistance they were providing.  As soon as I started I understood what they were after, it seemed that the older people were more grateful and had a deep level of respect for our heroes, while the younger generation weren’t so convinced, they were a lot less respectful.  The story Mig was writing was based on the generations view of our armed forces, surrounding the difference and change in media attitudes, propaganda and reporting styles.  I captured the shots but found it upsetting.  These guys were risking their lives to keep us safe and deserved our thanks, my mind constantly wandered to the sacrifices they made and that then in turn lead me to think about Jonas.  I was glad when it was over, but the shots I’d taken were amazing.

I was still suffering with my health and I gave myself a stern talking to, no late nights, definitely no alcohol, no stressful situations and lots of healthy food, when my stomach could retain it.  On a number of occasions I wondered how alcoholics did this to themselves day in day out, either way, I had learnt my lesson.

Neely never really mentioned Jonas again and she definitely didn’t talk about any hair brained schemes she was considering.  I was surprised she’d let it drop, but then she knows I’m not well and probably doesn’t want to add to my worries.

Chris stayed away for days after Letitia’s big revelation, I checked on him a few times, but he had stuff going on at the ranch.  My suspicious mind questions whether he was staying local to keep an eye on Jonas though really.

Barbara was a mixture of sadness and anger, her opportunity of a grandchild had been ripped from her clutches and the reasons for how that came about and what that tramp had done to Jonas made her rage.  Barbara told me that the disappointment he was feeling was long gone and had been replaced by hatred.

Some seven weeks had passed since that
one night
and I was slowly beginning to push it to the back of my mind.  Thinking about it had my emotions warring, it made me angry, sad and upset but a lot of time it made me horny.  Sexually, it was still the best experience I’d ever had and I relived it many nights but with my vibrator for company.

Chris decided to have a late summer BBQ at the ranch, he rang to invite me and told me he wasn’t taking no for answer.  If I wasn’t there, he was coming to get me, he also said that he hadn’t asked Jonas, he knew he had some stuff on, so I was good to come and enjoy myself.  I couldn’t let him down, he'd done so much for me, it had been a while since I'd seen all of the crew together and if I was trying to get back into my normal world life then this was something I had to do.  Jonas may be dead to me but everyone else wasn’t.  I agreed to drive and picked up the other girls, alcohol still wasn’t on my to do list, at all.

A couple of hours in and we were having our usual girl chat whilst the boys were standing to attention at the grill.  The discussion moved to Tits and her non-baby and we started to openly talk about who we thought would be the first to have kids and settle down in our group.  I was about to shout ‘not me’ when I had the biggest rude awakening moment ever.  I’d missed my period completely last month.  I mentally did some calculations whilst the others were babbling on and nausea or rather panic started to get a grip of me.  Jonas and I hadn’t used any protection and I wasn’t on birth control pills.  My sex life wasn’t solid enough to warrant it.  Neely and her keen eye noticed the change in me, “You OK Dolly?” she asked.

“I’m not feeling well again, I think I need to go home and sleep,” I replied.

“Come on, I’ll get you home, but I think we need to get you a doctor’s appointment soon, you’re not getting better and you’re starting to lose weight,” she said.

Flo and Lottie agree to get a cab home, but I could see they were worried for me.  Neely and I said goodnight to everyone and made our way home.

“Dolly, I just need to run and check something over at my apartment, you head in; I’ll be over in a minute and get you settled OK?” she says as she disappears into her apartment.

“No need, I’ll be fine,” I said.  I needed space and I needed it now, I had to calculate and recalculate as well as go back to Google and see if there was some other rare and complex disease or explanation I’d missed.  There had to be something else, anything!

“OK,” she agreed and we went our separate ways.  I hit the couch in my apartment and sat motionless trying to rationalize what could be going on.  I’d not been sitting there too long when I heard a key being inserted in the lock on the door, as I turned around Neely came in holding a brown paper bag.

“I used your emergency key so get over it; you know why I’m here.”

“I told you, I’m tired and the meat smell from the BBQ sent me a bit funny,” I tell her.

“Bullshit, this is me you're talking too. Is there a chance you could be pregnant?” she asks.  I didn’t know how to answer this, but my hesitation and then lack of an actual answer seemed to confirm I was giving it serious consideration.  “Come on, let’s go and see,” she says shaking the paper bag at me.  Bravely I head for the bathroom, pee in a cup and then bring it back out.

“Shit, gross Dolly, why didn’t you just pee on the stick?”

“I didn’t want to pee all over my hand,” I reply as she dips the stick in the cup of fluid.  I don’t watch and I certainly don't look at the stick as Neely reads the instructions.  

I’m fairly sure I already know what the answer will be.

I don’t need to take this test and with my luck lately there is only one possible answer so I head in to the kitchen to fake being busy.

“Results are in,” she shouts, “do you want me to look for you?”

“Yep,” my answer is short and stressed.

“OK Dolly, not sure whether this is the answer you want but...” When she doesn’t continue I turn around and see that she’s holding the test up and clear as day is the word PREGNANT in the little window of doom.  I consider asking her to check the result again but there are no + or – signs or single or double lines to misinterpret.  The word is pretty conclusive.

Fuck.

Now I’m well and truly up shit creek, but only because I know how I feel about terminations, having one is out of the question, I totally don’t agree with them.  It looks like I’m going to be a mom and my baby’s daddy has already had this trick pulled on once, he won’t be happy, but never mind, there is no future for us, he said it and I’ve declared he’s dead to me.

What a fucking mess.

Neely has left me to my thoughts for a little bit and I assume she’s waiting for panic to set in “What are we thinking Dolly?” she asks.