Forgiving Reed (Southern Boys #1) (11 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Thanksgiving had come and gone. We spent it at my parents’ house. Of course they invited Reed and his daddy. That was an eventful day. Reed’s dad was a man who could make you laugh at a wake. He had the greatest personality and smiled more often than not. He was genuine and a joy to have around. Seeing my father and Reed Sr. carrying on together warmed my soul. With Rhett and Reed right in the middle, you couldn’t help yourself from feeling warm and fuzzy.

Christmas was fast approaching, and things between Reed and me had stayed on the slow train. There were many nights of kissing until our lips were numb. Those nights were real common, but nothing more. I knew it was me holding us back, it was just hard to let go. In the back of my mind one question would eat at me; was I moving on too quickly?

I had a habit of using Maria and Rhett as buffers. If they were around, it was easier to control my desires for Reed. There was no way to stop the feeling of need around a man like him. It was there, it was strong, but it terrified me.

Tonight I let Maria convince me to have a girls’ night. Instead of the normal night out at Lucky’s, we were going out for dinner and a movie. Reed asked us to stop by, but I wasn’t sure we would. He’d been working at the bar a lot more lately because one of his bartenders quit. The situation kept his nights and days pretty full, between that and all his side jobs.

I missed seeing him daily, even though it made avoiding taking the next step with him that much easier.

***

“Are you ready yet? My hell, girl, it is just dinner and a movie,” Maria hollered down the hallway as I was finishing with my makeup. The bitch could roll out of bed looking like a million dollars, and it annoyed me. She could get ready in ten minutes and look like it took hours.

“Yes, twatwaffle, give me five damn minutes.” I groaned and continued to apply my mascara. My cell phone vibrated against the countertop, interrupting me.

Please stop by later, I miss you. It’s been three days since I got a kiss from the prettiest girl in town. R

What have you been doing then, kissing all the others, keeping your lips warm? K

No way, your lips are the only lips I wanna feel against mine. Think about it. Seeing you sure would make my night better. R

We’ll see. K

Have a good time. R

“Hey Mar, I think we may stop by Lucky’s after. Just for a few minutes. It seems someone misses me.” I felt like a school girl with a crush. He missed me, and that felt nice to know. I had been missing him too.

***

Four hours and a few drinks later, we walked into Lucky’s. The band was playing, and the place had to be almost at full capacity. Working our way through the crowd, we went straight for the bar. I stopped abruptly, and Maria ran into my back. “What the hell, I think my titties are now inverted.”

Her wisecrack didn’t even register as funny. My eyes were focused on what was happening in front of me.

Reed stood just at the end of the bar, shirtless. That alone would have been just fine, he is pretty damn sexy. It was the three girls who were currently hanging on him while the fourth took a picture that made my stomach turn. The girls were all young, pretty, and very flirtatious. The smaller of the three wore a sash that said ‘21
st
Birthday’ across the front. They were here celebrating, and Reed was the eye candy.

“What is wrong with you? Why did ya stop?” Maria bumped her hip against mine as she stepped up beside me. I continued to stare ahead, watching Little Miss Eager run her hand over Reed’s abs. My stomach hurt, and my eyes burned.

“I think I wanna go home. Is that okay with you?” I finally looked away because I couldn’t take any more of it.

Maria only nodded as she led me back out to her car. Once we got back to my place, both of us got some comfortable clothes on and camped out on the couch with a bottle of wine. Neither of us spoke about what happened at Lucky’s until that point. She was the first to say anything.

“It appeared innocent. Just some young girls celebrating, and he’s a good looking guy. I’m sure he was just humoring them.” She turned her body to face me and pulled her legs up to tuck them under her. “Maybe you should have talked to him.”

I shook my head and twisted my wine glass around in my hand over and over. “It isn’t like I’m giving him what he needs. He’s a guy, they need more than just occasionally making out like teenagers.”

“Hey, he understands. Don’t do that to yourself.”

After a long silence, I looked up. She looked concerned. I shrugged it off and sat up straighter.

“I need to do something, will you help me?” I asked.

“Sure.” Maria laughed lightly at my abrupt change in conversation. She leaned forward and placed her wine glass on the coffee table. “What are we doing?”

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “I wanna go through Blake’s things. The stuff I gathered from our apartment but never had the heart to look through. All those things his father brought. I wanna surround myself with Blake for just a couple hours. I need it, I have to feel him again. It’s time to go through it all.”

For the next hour I laughed and cried more tears than I had in months. I found more pictures of Blake and me, some I had no idea even existed.

Maria sat next to me while I looked through all the memories of my year with Blake. She got to know the sweet man I had fallen in love with and the father of my child. She could now see the appeal and know why I loved him so completely. We may not have had years upon years together, but I could promise the time I did have with him would forever be imbedded within my soul. A love like that didn’t leave easily; it surrounded me.

“What’s this?” I turned to find Maria holding up a notebook in one hand and a folded piece of paper in the other. I quickly dropped the things in my own hand and grabbed for hers.

An overwhelming ache spread throughout my chest as I looked over the reservation in my hands. It was for the day of the accident.

It was a weekend getaway in Cape Cod. There was also a small brochure showing the views and rooms. On the corner of the reservation paper, the words written there broke my heart.

To do list:

-Pick up the flowers from florist and have them spread petals on bed.

-Preorder dinner and have delivered to room at 8

-Pick up the ring from the jewelers

My eyes were so full of tears I could no longer see the paper.
The ring
.
Those two words took everything that had healed within me and shattered it once again. We had talked about getting married. I knew it would happen eventually, maybe after I graduated and we settled down. The fact that he had planned to propose the weekend I lost him was too hard to swallow.

I forced myself to look through the notebook that the reservation and brochure were tucked inside. Blake had random thoughts and ideas for our future written inside.

He was always such a planner, and looking over his excessive lists always made me laugh. Now they just made me cry harder.

-Buy Kori her dream house.

-Fill our home with the laughter of our beautiful children.

-Never let a day go by without telling my wife and children how much I love them.

As if he had to write that down in order to complete those tasks. It just made him feel better seeing his dreams on paper. It was who he was, the man I loved.

Chapter Twenty

"Do you love him?" His voice was filled with emotion.

I nodded my head gently as the tears trailed down my cheeks, “Yes.” I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

The silence was overwhelming. My chest tightened with the thought of hurting Blake.

“Don’t apologize for falling in love, baby. I know how it feels to have your love, and he’s one lucky guy. It’s okay to love again, sweet girl, it doesn’t mean you love me any less. I know you’ll always love me.”

“Yes, Blake, I’ll always love you. I could never stop.”

I felt the soft trace of his fingertips across my cheek, and I closed my eyes, taking in the pleasure of his touch. I sighed and reached up to feel his hand, but it wasn’t there. I began spinning around looking for Blake, but he was gone.

Reality hit heavily when I realized it was just a dream. It felt so real, like he was right there with me, reassuring me. It was as if he were giving the go ahead to move on and love Reed the way he deserved to be loved.

I had stayed up half the night looking through all of Blake’s things. I went to bed with thoughts of him, and I know that is what fueled my dreams.

I stood, dragging my exhausted body toward the shower. I had to wake up before I went to pick up Rhett. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I groaned. I looked like complete ass.

The hot water running over me gave my body a little motivation to get a move on. I had a missed call and text when I got out of the shower.

They were both from Reed.

Missed you last night. R

Instead of calling him back I replied to the text.

You looked like you were entertained and the furthest thing from lonely. K

I threw the phone in my bag and grabbed my purse from the counter. I could hear it chiming as I walked out the door.

Driving down the main road, the sleet began to fall. The fields were covered with a light dusting of snow. This year the thought of Rhett being old enough to enjoy playing in it made me smile. The oncoming big black truck heading toward my house did not. Reed passed me going in the opposite direction and quickly stepped on his brakes to spin around and follow me.

I let him follow for a few more miles before I pulled over on one of the little side roads and waited for him to get out of his truck.

When my passenger door came open and he crawled inside, his manly scent filled my car. He always smelled unbelievably yummy. I took a chance and looked in his direction, only to find him holding up his phone is question.

“What does your text mean? Were you there?” he asked.

“Not that you had any time to notice, but yes, I was, long enough to witness your fan club and your little photo shoot. After that, I no longer felt the need to stay.” I couldn’t look at him. Instead I looked down at the radio and waited for this to pass.

“What fan club?”

“The group of girls that you were posing with, shirtless.” This was just crazy. I was acting like a god damned teenager, and it was too much. I lifted my head, and my gaze locked onto his big, chocolate brown eyes. He watched me without speaking a word. “Reed, I know you own a bar. I also know that certain things go along with that. I just don’t know if I can stomach what I saw last night. I know you aren’t the same person you once were, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.”

I shrugged and looked back down at my lap, debating if I should say more. Before I could speak another word, he reached out and took my hand in his.

“I’m sorry. I posed with them because they were out celebrating the twenty-first birthday of one of the girls. I never thought about what it may look like to you. It was completely innocent.” Tilting my chin up with his hand, he continued. “I told them about you. When they asked if I was single, I told them all about you.”

I chose to remain quiet. I still wasn’t sure how to handle how last night made me feel. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so silence was my best option.

“Baby, I have waited for a second chance with you. I won’t lie and say I didn’t try to get over you, but it was impossible. There is only one Kori, one girl who stole my heart. Do you actually think I am gonna take a chance of losing you again?”

“Turn the tables, Reed, just for a minute. If you saw me flirting and flaunting myself, how well would that go over? You got jealous of me talking with Gavin, you were half naked with three girls. The whole thing made me sick.”

“Damn, Kori, I’m sorry. It was a stupid ass move, but you gotta know it went no further. I wouldn’t do that,” he pleaded, and it came out rushed.

“I know, I just can’t be with you if things are gonna be that way. I understand the flirting for business, it’s the touching and rubbing up against you that I can’t accept. I’m not built that way, I can’t stomach it.”

He leaned over the center console and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me closer. Resting his forehead against mine, he skimmed the side of my nose with his. “You don’t have to accept it, it stops now. No more, that’s a promise. I’m sorry.” His lips took mine in a desperate kiss, and instead of pulling away, I relaxed into him.

It was time that Reed knew what I wanted, and I had to let down my walls. When his lips separated from mine, his forehead once against pressed against me.

“I know I haven’t made things easy for you. I know that you feel like I keep you at a distance, and you’re right, I have. I don’t want to anymore. I want to do this with you, I want to go all in. I’m ready to move forward, with you.” He leaned back, looking at me intensely. “I just need to make sure you want the same thing.”

“You’re joking right? You know I want you and Rhett. I’ve wanted you my whole life, and Rhett is the best kind of bonus. I want in, baby, completely in with no hesitation.” He kissed me hard. We sat on the side of the road, making the decision to move forward, together. That thought was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Pushing past my reservations, I gave myself over to the man who had helped me through one of the hardest times in my life. Reed loved me and my son, he didn’t have to, but he did.