Forever Red (25 page)

*****

The stadium had completely filled up while we’d been gone. I sat at the counter in front of the giant glass windows with my best friends in the world and watched as the crowd roared for Nate. It was loud. Deafening loud. Almost sixty-nine thousand fans had crammed into the stadium to see him, and they were rowdy. We saw five people get removed from the stadium by the policed in the short amount of time between Molly’s set and Nate’s.

“Wow.” I nodded in agreement with Cora’s explanation. I didn’t have any more words than that.

The crowd roared as the ‘Bama Boys came on stage one by one. Mike told us who each one was as they picked up their instrument, giving us a little story of each as they got settled. They started playing before Nate joined them. The entire stadium went dark and Nate’s deep voice filled the air.

The drummer started to beat out a rhythm, the lights came up, and Nate was in the middle of the stadium on a catwalk. The women around him went nuts; he laughed, kneeling to offer them his hands. As the song ended, he stood and walked back to the main stage, singing the last few words as he joined his band.

He waited for the screams to die before he waved a hand in the air. “Hello, New England!” More screams as he introduced his band. They were all dressed similar to how they looked last night; most of them, even Nate in his worn jeans, normal red tee that showcased his tattoos, and perfectly messy hair, seemed to be going for the rocker look.

“When I was in high school, my best friend brought me to my first NFL game right here in Foxborough. She told me she was going to see me play here one day. She meant as a football player.” He smiled in our direction and I felt like he was smiling directly at me. “I think she’ll take this instead.” Thousands of whistles and screams filled the stadium.

Mike reached over, ruffling my hair in an annoying big brother sort of way.

“I could have played here tonight without you, Red, but I told you if I was here playing, you’d be here watching.”

He didn’t give the crowd time to react, rolling right into his next song instead. We sat quietly, in the best seats in the entire stadium, and watched as Nate put on the greatest show I’d ever seen. He bounced around the stages, dancing with an energy that made me feel tired. And when he slowed it down, the stadium lit up with the lights from cell phones as thousands of people sang his words back to him.

After the third encore, when he finally told the audience good night, my friends and I sat still, mesmerized. All that music, and he hadn’t played my song. I didn’t know what to think. We watched as the wait staff moved in and out of the suites, cleaning up after the fans next to us had hurried out.

Mike was the first one to speak. “I’ve never seen a show from this side.” He chuckled. “I’m always backstage or on the floor, watching the fans. Kelly kicks ass,” he said and I totally agreed. “Okay, ladies.” Mike stood, stretching. Slipping on his jacket, he watched us. “Time to get you outa here.”

Nina threw back what was left of her drink and stood, grinning at me. “That wasn’t as painful as it could have been.”

I laughed. “Yeah, it was okay.”

Cora ignored Mike, leaning closer to the glass. “There are still so many people out there. It’ll take hours to get out of the parking lot.”

“Good thing we’re not going to their parking lot.” Mike walked up the steps, pausing on the upper level and we slowly followed. I didn’t know about the other girls, but I was exhausted from the lack of sleep and on a little bit of a letdown now that the concert was over.

Mike waited for us at the door, holding it open until we were all in the hall. Then he led the way down the stairs, avoiding the elevator, continuously glancing back at us. When we got to the bottom floor, we were joined by two other men that greeted Mike by name. Mike nodded to them but kept walking, opening the door into a parking lot; we trailed behind him, the other men bringing up the rear.

We walked around a gate and came to a stop at the curb. A man dressed in all black nodded at us and then called someone on his cell. Mike and the other men didn’t say a word; instead, they stood around us in a triangular barrier, each watching their designated side.

Minutes later, a limo pulled up. Mike didn’t wait for the driver to get out, pulling the door open himself and hurrying us inside. After we were all in, he turned and spoke to the other men before climbing in behind us.

“Well, that was weird,” I whispered to no one specific as we started moving.

Nina nodded furiously. “Dude, this entire weekend has been weird.”

I listened to my friends gush about the show and how great of a performer Nate was, but I didn’t join in the conversation. Instead, I leaned my head back, letting memories from my past flash through my mind. It was amusing how I had always separated the Neil that I loved from the Nate we just saw. To me, they weren’t the same person. I knew they were, yes, but it was easier to think of them as two very different individuals. When Nate kissed me earlier, in the way that no one other than Neil had kissed me, I realized I wouldn’t be able to keep them separate anymore.

The conversation around me lulled me to the space between sleep and conscious thought. When the car finally slowed down, I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed. My brain was fried and I needed sleep before I faced Nate again. “Thank, God. I am exhausted. Straight to bed for me,” I mumbled.

“Oh, no you don’t. No rest for the wicked.” Mike nudged me with his arm, smiling when I opened my eyes. I blinked sleepily, glancing past him. We weren’t back at Nate’s house; instead, were in front of an old warehouse. “Night’s just gettin’ started, kid.”

I was starting to feel the lack of sleep and getting irritated with everyone by the time we got to the club. After most stadium shows, there was a mandatory after party at a private residence or hotel suite that we had to attend. A small get together with the performers and few hundred of the promoter’s closest friends. Once in a while, like tonight, the celebration was held at a bar.

When we were younger, these parties had been a blast, filled with crazy moments we only half-remembered the next day. Now, they were rarely fun. Most of our time was spent tolerating people we despised and fending off horny fans, all the while smiling for the cameras we tried to avoid, hoping someone didn’t catch a picture that twisted the truth beyond what we could explain to those we loved.

Tonight was different. Boston was one of my favorite cities and it was always nuts, but we’d never played at Gillette before. The owner of a popular club had offered to shut his place down to everyone that wasn’t invited just so he could say he’d hosted the event. Everyone from local celebrities and athletes to the people that had made both last night’s and tonight’s shows possible had been invited to join us.

Molly talked excitedly all the way to the old factory-turned-local-hotspot. She’d given fans one hell of a show during her set and she was on cloud nine. She should be; she was on her way to becoming a household name. A year from now, she’d be the headliner and fans would be flocking to her shows.

When she started to tell me about all the people she’d heard were going to be at the party, my mind drifted. There was only one person I wanted to be there. Sam assured me that Mike was making that happen, but I didn’t know if she’d be there or not; the party scene had never been Lia’s thing, and I wasn’t sure if the adult version of her felt the same.

I saw Courtney as soon as I walked through the door; she stood a head above the women around her. They were on the dance floor, drinks in hand, shaking their honky-tonk badonk-a-donks, and getting a shit ton of attention from almost every man in the place. Lia, however, was not with them.

After our obligated meeting with the suits was over and we’d posed for the necessary pictures with the promoters so they could prove they’d not only met us, but that we were great friends, the boys scattered, heading in all different directions. Before I could follow, some big-time Bruins player grabbed me, talking my ear off. I didn’t know the first fucking thing about his sport; give me a Patriot or a Red Sox and I’d probably be asking for their autograph. But hockey? They got to beat the shit out of each other, which sounded fantastic, and under normal circumstances, I’d probably be asking him a million fucking questions. Nothing about tonight was normal.

“Have you met Finn?” I asked the crazy Canadian as I snagged my brother-in-law when he tried to walk by us to get to the bar. “He played hockey in college and actually got drafted.” I didn’t wait for either of them to respond before disappearing into the crowd.

I paused at the edge of the dance floor, scanning the room, not finding her anywhere. “She’s here. Don’t worry,” Rebel assured me, stopping beside me and looking around the room. “Find Mike and you’ll find her.”

I nodded, still searching. Reb, Mike, and I spent the majority of our time together when we were on the road, writing songs and telling stories. Out of all the ‘Bama Boys, Reb was the only one that truly understood. Reb fucked anything and everything that showed even the slightest bit of interest, but he’d give it up in an instant if the one woman he loved showed up at his door.

Most of the boys were either in serious, committed relationships with women who actually wanted to be with them, or married. The few that weren’t, were happy being single and didn’t want to be tied down to one woman. Reb and I were the exception; we were fucking miserable, even though no one would believe it, and wanted what the married guys had. We just didn’t want it with some random chick; no, we were masochistic pricks that longed for the ones that had left us years ago.

“She’s in a booth in the back with Carson,” Noah yelled over the noise as he moved around a group of gyrating women. “She looks pissed, big brother.”

Reb laughed and slapped me on the back. “Good luck with that.” He grabbed Noah’s arm and pulled him toward the bar.

The place had filled up and there were now at least twice the amount of people that had been in here when we arrived. I headed in the direction that Noah had just come from, squeezing through large groups and avoiding eye contact with everyone. A familiar hand found mine, pulling me to a stop.

“Nate,” Molly whined. “Where have you been? Come dance with me.”

I smiled down at her. “Not right now, kid. I gotta find Lia.”

Molly pouted. “But it’s my first real after party. And, you left me all alone when we got here.”

“How ‘bout you dance with me?” Mike asked, coming out of nowhere, peeling her hand from mine and leading her away from me. “I’m not working, let’s have some fun.” Molly went with him willingly, but gave me a sad look before she did. Carson pointed a finger at me. “Right behind ya, boss.”

I turned back and saw her. She wasn’t the only one in the reserved section, but she was sitting at a table in the corner all by herself. And Noah was right; she looked pissed.

I jogged up the ten steps quickly, smiling at the bouncer who must have recognized me because he let me in with no problem. I ignored the other people in the area that called to me, heading straight for Red. Pausing at her booth, I smiled. “You’re a hard woman to find.”

Lia shrugged. “Not if you know the right places to look.”

The booth was large, with one bench seat that made a semi-circle around the table. I pointed to the small space she’d left next to her on the outside edge. “Move over.” I plopped down before she had time to process my words, pushing her over a little as I did.

She groaned and slid further away. “Really, Nathaniel?”

I moved closer again. “Really.”

“God, you are such a child!” It would have been offensive if she weren’t laughing. And if it wasn’t true.

I grinned, enjoying the sound of her giggle. Leaning my head toward her, I asked her about the show. I watched her intently as she talked. She still moved her hands back and forth slowly when she was excited, still focused her eyes on just one thing when she tried to remember something, and she still tucked her hair behind her ear when she was nervous. Those were the little details I had forgotten until I saw her do them again, and they were all things I hadn’t realized I missed. As she talked, she seemed to get more comfortable and eventually leaned in closer to me so we didn’t have to yell so loudly.

“Okay,” she sighed, moving close enough to me so that our thighs were pushed together. “I have to know. Did that hurt?” She pointed at the piercing in my chin.

“My labret?” I sat back, laying my arm over the seat behind her. “Naw. The tongue killed, but that was only ‘cause of the swelling.” Her eyes shot to my mouth, surprised. I stuck my tongue out so she could see the barbell. “One of my nipples took forever to heal, but it didn’t really hurt.”

“Why?” She shook her head, obviously unsure how to react. “Why would you do that?”

“Why not?”

Her eyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Instead, she turned back to the table, focusing on her drink. My thumb twitched, moving across her shoulder, but she either didn’t feel it or didn’t care. “You’re so different. But you’re the same.” She turned to me. “Does that make sense?”

It did. It made complete fucking sense. She was my Lia, but she wasn’t. “So what about you? Any crazy piercings I should know about?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Um, no. I’m not nearly as adventurous as you are.” Her eyes trailed down my arms, checking out my tatted sleeves. “How many do you have?”

I tore my eyes away from her face and moved it down the rest of her body. She was wearing jeans and a tee shirt again, but at least this time the shirt left very little to the imagination. I hadn’t seen any ink on her when she got out of the shower this morning, but I hadn’t really been looking, either. “More than you.”

“Okay, ass. You know that isn’t an answer.” I took a sip of the beer a waiter brought me but didn’t answer. “I bet you have no idea how many you have.” Her tone was teasing and I knew she was fishing. “I’m gonna guess you got most of them when you were drunk and you have no idea what is permanently etched on your body.”

I caught one of her curls between my thumb and forefinger, giving it a little tug. “If it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t go on my body.”

“Hmmm.” She smirked, as if in challenge. “Dice.” She tapped the two I had right above my wrist. “I’m dying to know what is so important about a set of flaming dice.”

I hoped she didn’t look close enough to realize the significance. The dots on the first added up to ten, the dots on the second added to fifteen; October fifteenth, the morning after homecoming and the day she set my world on fire. Instead, I turned my arm slowly, showing the entire thing. “I like to take chances, Red. I throw the dice and see where they land. And I’ve been fucking lucky.”

She reached out, leaning in front of me, running her fingertips over the dice up to the cards on my inner bicep.

“You and I both know that you can plan all you want, but in reality, you can’t predict the future any more than you can predict how the dice will fall. Or know what cards you’ll draw. It’s all about making the best out of the hand you’re dealt.”

There wasn’t a lot of light in this corner, but I could make out the dark flecks in her blue eyes when she finally looked up at me. “That’s actually really nice.” She didn’t move her hand; instead, she traced the cards – a Joker, an Ace of Spades, and a Queen of Hearts. I didn’t ever want her to stop touching me. “I’m going to assume the lack of color also means something.”

“I have color.”

“Yeah. Red and yellow,” she muttered so I stretched my arm out, showing her the bright colors on the inside of my elbow. “Oh, and blue! You’re right. So colorful.”

I’d missed that sarcasm. I smiled, pulling on her hair again. “Those are the only colors that matter to me. I want to carry them with me forever.”

She looked confused, pursing her lips in concentration as she stared at my arm, trying to put together the puzzle. I knew the moment she realized and hated the sad look that drifted across her face. She started to pull her hand away, but I grabbed her wrist.

“Hey,” I started softly, feeling like I should explain why I had needed to carry her with me, but I didn’t know how.

“God, it’s hot out there!” A very tipsy Molly fell onto the seat across from us, preventing me from baring my soul. “Aren’t you two coming out?”

Mike gave me an apologetic look as he joined her on the other side of the table. From the frustrated look on his face, it was safe to assume that he’d tried to keep her distracted – and lost. I sighed, biting back my irritation and turned to Molly.

“No, you go have fun, kid. Enjoy yourself. Celebrate the night. We’re catching up.”

Molly acted as if she hadn’t heard me, staring at the woman next to me instead. Lia was doing her best to ignore the scrutiny and had her eyes glued to the dance floor. She was probably looking for her friends so she’d have a reason to leave.

Molly leaned across the table, tapping the spot directly in front of Lia. “We haven’t really met,” she slurred. “But I thought you’d be a lot prettier.”

Her words hung in the air a minute, surprising us all. “Mols!” I hissed in warning as Mike cleared his throat, sitting back uncomfortably. Usually, I found her drunken observations humorous and spot on. Right now, I wanted to strangle her.

Lia turned her head slowly, settling on the younger woman. For a second, I watched them face off and I wasn’t sure what to do. I always stood up for Molly – to everyone from my band to the assholes at my label. Hell, I’d dumped more than one woman when I found out she had a problem with my friend. But this was Lia. I’d convinced myself that I’d never see her again, and I wouldn’t lose her because my friend got drunk and bitchy.

Then Lia shook her head. “I know, right? It’s that damn song! The first time I heard it I was sure it couldn’t be about me. I couldn’t tell anyone that I was Red because I knew no one would believe me.” She lifted a hand and motioned to herself, shaking her head again. “He always saw something no one else did.”

The hell I did. She could think what she wanted, but I’d always seen her exactly the way she was. The most amazing creature that had ever given an art geek like me the time of day. I used to spend hours staring at her, wondering how I got so fucking lucky. Even now, I couldn’t stop looking at her.

She was talking to Molly, but I didn’t hear a word she said. Watching her was like seeing your favorite movie again; you knew all the best parts, but you’d forgotten the little things that made it truly great. Lia was beautiful any day, but it was the quirks that made her endearing. Like how she covered her mouth a little when she giggled as if trying to hide that billion-watt smile that could light up a room. The way she chewed on her bottom lip when lost in concentration. I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself from grabbing her and carrying her out of the club.

I wanted her. Hard. I could pull her to me and kiss her in front of everyone here in a way that would leave no doubt she was mine. Then I’d take her back to the house and fuck her for hours, make her remember that her body belonged to me. Only me.