For Your Heart (Hill Dweller Retellings) (23 page)

    
I sigh.  “Look, I said I was sorry.  I’m sorry about Timmy and I’m sorry for screwing around.  I only did what I thought I had to.”

    
A guttural sound escapes her throat as she drops onto the bed.  I look over my shoulder again.  She’s rubbing her face with both her hands.  “I know.”  She sounds exasperated.  “I know.  And I’m entirely aware you didn’t do it to be malicious.”

    
I cock my head.  “How do you know that?”

    
She snorts to herself.  “I don’t.  Just a feeling, you know?”  She shakes her head.  “I guess it bothers me so much because you’re too much like Timmy in many tiny ways.”  She lowers her hands and gives me a narrow, calculating glare.  “I can’t even stay mad at you.  You’re like him in that respect, too.”

    
I rub my forehead.  A random mental image of a boy, maybe no older than three, chasing her with a huge stick.  “He wanted to kill you, too,” I say, not entirely understanding the emotional feedback that comes with the new memory.

    
She smiles to herself, her eyes lost in a far past…Perhaps remembering the exact experience I just did.  “Yeah,” she says, almost bashfully.  “That’s how we first met.  He came after me with a stick screaming, ‘I’m gonna kill you, girl!’”  She chuckles.  “I was at the park with Mom.  I think I stepped on some kind of mud pie he’d made or something like that.  He was so mad at me that he chased me around for what felt like forever.”

    
I lick my lips.  “What happened?”

    
She shrugs.  “I dunno.  I guess at some point in the chase he decided it would be better to take me prisoner than kill me.  When he eventually caught me, he dragged me back to the sand box and made me play with him.”  She grins.  “I wasn’t a nice playmate at first.  I’m pretty sure I bit him and threw sand in his face, but then something clicked.  You know how kids are.  So illogical, everything is black and white, good and evil at first, and then you learn to accept the grey.  He and I were inseparable after that day.”

    
I smile at her.  I like the look on her face when she recalls this boy.  I want her to think of me like that.  “So,” I say, “you’re forgiving toward those who initially wanted to harm you?”  I don’t hide the hope in my voice.

    
She narrows an eye at me.  “A three year old with a stick is way different than a grown man with a knife.”

    
I purse my lips.  “I don’t see how.  I’d prefer a swift knife to the heart over a braining any day.”

    
Jeanette laughs at me.  It’s nice to see her smile and laugh. I don’t think she does it enough.  Shaking her head, she says, “You’re a total nut job.”

    
I bite my lip.  “But we’re okay?”

    
She turns serious, her face falling and spine straightening.  “Are you letting me go?  No more one year agreement?”

    
Staring at her, I swallow.  Without the agreement, without my threats, there’s nothing making me stay here.  I’d have no right to remain either here or at the school.  And she won’t let me stay – she has already made it clear that I am not wanted.  I spring to my feet and clear my throat.  “This is losing a lot of petals.”  I scoop up the petals and head toward her drawer.

    
She intercepts me, her hand catching mine as I grasp at the cute lacy underwear that I’d sacrifice my left nut to see her in.  I pause, but can’t look at her. 
Don’t make me cancel the agreement, don’t make me leave
.  I will it so hard, it feels like I’m going to explode, I’m clutching her underwear so tight that I think I might be shaking.

    
“Let go,” I whisper.  I can’t stand to let her feel me shake. 

    
Her fingers release, dragging over my skin with a silky tease.  I finish my task and move away from her.

    
“If you’re not going to kill me in a year then you should tell me,” she reasons.  “You should cancel the agreement – swear you’re not going to do it.”

    
“No,” I whisper, staring at the wall.  “You know I’m not going to do it, that’s enough isn’t it?”

    
She steps close to me, cornering me between the desk and her dresser.  “No.  It’s not enough.  Why won’t you withdraw it?”

    
Her eyes are so intent, so demanding that I nearly give in.  I want so much to please her. 

    
“What are you two doing up there?”  Her dad’s voice drifts up, saving me.  “You’re going to be late for school!”

    
Frowning, Jeanette backs away, her eyes fixed on me like a falcon on a tiny field mouse.  “We’re not done talking about this,” she warns.

    
As she turns away, I let out a breath of relief.  I have a little longer with her, at least.  I head toward the rose, wanting to be close, to protect it.  I reach out and adjust the vase, trying to center it.  As my fingers close on the delicate cut-crystal, my heart stops.

    
Residual energy pings inside the vase.  I lift the glass and turn it in the light.

    
“Is everything okay?” Jeanette asks.  Her voice no longer annoyed, but troubled.  She senses something wrong.

    
Dread pooling in my stomach, I glance at her.  “Someone has been working energy in here.”

    
Looking as sick as I feel, she wrinkles her brow.  “Energy?”

    
“A faerie, or maybe an
Aos Si
.  Someone’s been near the rose…Maybe even knows about it.”

    
She stops rooting through her clothes and comes to me, her eyes examining the vase.  “How can you tell?”

    
“I sense it.  I have the second sense.”

    
She bites her lip, I can tell she wants to ask about that, but this isn’t the time.  I can only imagine what she’d say if I told her about Enmire and the other fae.

    
“What are you going to do?”

    
I put the vase down and pull the rose out.  “I don’t think this is safe here anymore.”

    
She glances around the room.  “Where do you want to put it?”  Her voice is on edge.  She may not feel anything toward me, but in this crime and attempted cover-up we are partners.  We’re in this together.

    
“I’m going to keep it with me.”

    
“Huh?”

    
“I think it’s safest with me.  I can protect it, and no one will know I have it.”

    
Jeanette nods.  “Do you think whoever it was will tell the queen?”

    
I shrug.  “I honestly don’t know.  I can’t tell who it was, only that they were here.”  And I didn’t sense it on the vase yesterday which means they came in the night.  When Jean was here…They were in the room with her and she wouldn’t have even noticed…  I clench my fist, my hackles rising at the fact someone could be targeting her.  “Just…don’t go too far away from me today, okay?”

    
Eyes too big, she closes her mouth, swallows, and nods. 

    
Holding the rose I step close to her and put my hand to her cheek.  I expect her to flinch away, but she leans into me – as if she needs the touch as much as I do.  I slide my fingers under her hair, cupping the back of her neck, and pull her against me. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Jean.  I promise.”

Tamrin

    
After school, Jean, Celeste, Emily, and I go to the field behind the school.     “Wait, I don’t get it,” Celeste says.  “I thought you were grounded.”

    
“I was,” Jeanette explains, “then Dad sent me this text being all like, ‘you can go to Amber’s meet if Tamrin goes with you.’”  She glances back at me.

    
I smile at her. 
You’re welcome
.

    
She turns away.  “It’s weird.”

    
“Totally,” Celeste agrees.  “Well, Amber will be happy.  She’s been complaining you haven’t been around to be her good luck charm.  I guess I’m not good enough for her.”  She laughs, but it’s obvious that she’s hiding hurt.  There is so much pain and anger in this girl that I wish I wasn’t so attuned to the languages of body and heart.

    
As we sit perched on the bleachers, I stare at Jean as she talks to her friends.  I don’t know how much longer I will be able to do it.  Wanting to reassure myself, I double check the rose gently wrapped in tissue and stowed in my bag.  I don’t carry books so I know it’s not squished.  A few petals have fallen since this morning, but that’s to be expected.  At this point I can sense when one has fallen.

    
“Is it okay?” I hear her whisper.  Looking up, I find that Jeanette has scooted close to me and is looking down at my bag, her brow crimped in concern. 

    
I reach up to smooth that brow.  “It’s fine.”

    
Sighing, she sits up, pulling away.  “Did you say something to Dad to make him change his mind about me being grounded?”

    
I close the bag.  I know she doesn’t like me meddling with her father, but what does she expect?  I want her to be happy and if I know I can give her what she wants, why shouldn’t I?  For a moment, my mind begins formulating a lie – only to avoid the argument.  But then I realize I
can’t
lie to her.  “I might have mentioned something to him.”

    
She presses her lips together and squints, examining me hard.  “And what makes you so special that you can suddenly change his mind.”

    
I glance at her friends, trying to decide if they’re eavesdropping.  “You do remember there are other forces at play here, don’t you?  Besides, it’s not like you didn’t want this.  Tell me honestly you didn’t want to come here.”

    
Her face screws up in annoyance and she puffs out her cheeks.  Before she can blow up at me, I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek.  I can’t help it, she’s so damn cute.  “Stop worrying,” I say, pulling back.

    
Her face reddens and she looks away.  “Y-you shouldn’t do that.”

    
“Why?”

    
When she doesn’t answer, I narrow an eye at her.  I sense her heart saying I’ve done the correct thing, but the words coming from her mouth say otherwise.  “I’m not sure I understand your feelings toward me.”

    
Her head jerks up and she lets loose something between a cough and a laugh.  “You don’t understand?  Welcome to the club.  You’re weirding me out, Tam.”

    
I sigh.  “I always weird you out.”

    
“That’s ‘cause you’re weird,” she reasons, sounding light hearted.  I can’t tell if she’s teasing me or trying to cheer herself up. 

    
“Is it a bad weird?”

    
The brow crunch comes back and her lips pull down.

    
I look away.  “Never mind.”

    
Sighing, she stands.  “I’m going to go see if Amber wants anything.” She changes her tone to include Emily and Celeste.  “I’ll be right back.”

    
As I watch Jean climb down and trudge across the field, someone slaps my knee.  Startled, I look up to find Emily's calculating eyes on me, an odd smirk on her face.

    
Unable to read the meaning in her expression, I blanch as though caught at something I shouldn't be doing.  “What?”

    
One of her white-blond brows arches upward and her voice is teasing and sweet.  “What do you mean,
what
?”

    
I make a puzzled face.

    
Her smirk deepens until her white teeth glint behind thin lips.  “We have this theory you're totally into her.”

    
I feel an uncharacteristic blush creep up my cheeks as I look away.  “Don't be foolish.”

    
“It’s obvious, Romeo.”

    
I give her a nervous sidelong glance, she still hasn't looked away.

    
Finally, she points a finger in my face, making me flinch backward in surprise.  “If you hurt her, I'll kill you,” she says flatly, her eyes huge behind her glasses.  “And Amber will find your remains and feed them to her Golden Retriever.”

    
This makes me grin because the very idea of Emily or Amber harming me is preposterous, but she pulls her finger back and scowls, her eyes growing hard and her face contorting with seriousness.  The whole thing looks very comical because sweet little Emily is a very bad actress.  “I'm not kidding, Tamrin.  Nett’s my best friend.  I care a lot about her.”

    
“I care about her, too,” I admit.  I can’t deny it. 

    
Emily sits back and crosses her arms, her eyes seeking out Jeanette among the people on the field.  Amber has roped her into helping her with stretches.  “She's been through hell already.  I don't know what your angle is, but you better do right by her.”