Fly With Me (14 page)

“Really. Trust me, I've been through enough disastrous relationships with Noah to appreciate when he has a good thing going.”

“So if you're so happy about me and Noah, why do you give me such a hard time?”

He shrugged. “I give everyone a hard time.”

“You didn't give Dani a hard time. You actually seemed almost normal with her.”

“Dani doesn't need me giving her a hard time.” He was silent for a moment. “You should take her up on the offer to talk. Trust me, there are definitely going to be moments when you get frustrated with this lifestyle. You couldn't ask for a better person to have in your camp. And she could use a friend.”

I studied him for a beat. “So are
we
friends now?”

“Something like that.”

“More like annoying siblings?”

He let out a bark of laughter and a smile that shed some light on why women put up with his shit.

“Basically.” His smile deepened as his gaze drifted over my shoulder. “Oh, this is fucking great.”

I looked up and saw Noah standing over us, dressed in his flight suit. He dipped his head, pressing his mouth to mine. He pulled back and I blinked.

Ohmigod.

Easy snorted and said something under his breath that sounded a lot like “whipped,” but I didn't care.

He'd shaved his mustache.

I rose, cupping his face in my hands, running my thumbs
over the warm skin around his mouth. He nipped at the pads of my fingers, and my nipples tightened.

“You shaved.”

“Ran by the BX before I came here. I'm sorry I was a dick earlier. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm pretty shit at relationships. And I've been on my own for so long that I'm kind of used to doing whatever I feel like without thinking about anyone else. I don't want to do that anymore, though. Your sister's wedding is important to you. So it's important to me.”

I shook my head. “It was a stupid fight. I was overwhelmed and a little freaked, and I overreacted. I do that. A lot. You didn't have to shave.” I looked around at the group—a veritable sea of 'staches—and back to Noah again.

“Are you going to get in trouble?”

He grinned. “No, babe. They'll give me shit about it for a while, but it's fine.”

“Try longer than a while,” Easy interjected.

Noah wrapped his arm around me, holding me snug against him.

“They're just jealous,” he joked. “Ignore it.”

Easy smirked, but there was more sarcasm than amusement in the gesture, and for a moment I saw a flash of something darker than anything I'd ever seen on Easy before.

“We aren't all lucky enough to get what we want.”

I waited for Noah to throw back a jab, but instead his mouth just got tight, and a look of guilt flashed in his eyes, like if he could take his words back, he would.

Easy rose, his smirk back in place.

“I'll leave you to your girl.” He patted Noah on the shoulder, and something I didn't quite understand passed between them, and then he was gone, and Noah was kissing me again, and I sort of forgot to think.

NOAH

“Did you have fun tonight?”

Jordan nodded. “Your friends seem nice. I really like Dani.”

“Dani's awesome.”

I pulled into the garage, putting the car in Park and turning off the engine. We'd ended up staying longer than I'd anticipated, but Jordan had looked like she was really enjoying talking to everyone. Unsurprisingly, she'd been a big hit with the guys. She'd seemed to enjoy talking to the wives and I was glad to see her hitting it off with the other women. We had a squadron TDY coming up to Alaska, and I liked the idea of her having a support network while we were gone if she wanted it. I knew she had her family and friends—and it wasn't like we weren't already used to being apart—but I figured having other people around you who were in the same situation and understood the weird nuances of military life could be helpful. Besides, I wanted her to see other couples that were able to make military relationships work to show her that it was possible.

We got out of the car and walked into the house together. Easy wasn't home yet, and since he'd left the O-Club before we did, I figured he'd gone to Sonya's.

Holding hands, we walked back to my bedroom. It had been a long day and I couldn't deny that I was exhausted, but at the same time, it had been two weeks, and I was dying to get inside her again. I figured the shaved mustache had to buy me some sex points.

We hit the bedroom and I began stripping off my flight suit, feeling disgusting after double turning today, the second flight even more intense than the first.

“I'm going to hop in the shower.”

Jordan nodded, taking off her boots, which was really a shame because they were . . . inspiring, to say the least.

I took a faster shower than normal, praying Jordan wouldn't be too tired from traveling. The phone sex had been great and all, but it definitely wasn't a substitute for the real thing.

I stepped out and dried off, wrapping the towel around my waist. I walked back into the bedroom just as the soft strands of music hit me and I froze in my tracks.

Holy fuck.

Jordan lay on the bed, naked but for a tiny, lacy black thong, heels, and a smile.

This girl . . .

“I'm throwing the bet.”

I blinked. “What?”

“You shaved. I'm throwing the bet. You get me, any way you want me.”

I groaned, my cock immediately hard, my heart pounding. She was already kind of a freak in bed, and I meant that in the best possible how-the-hell-did-I-get-this-lucky sort of way. So to say I hadn't been holding back with her was kind of the understatement of the century. But this?

This was freaking unreal.

She rose up on her hands and knees—ass and tits exposed—and I died a little bit.

She summoned me to the edge of the bed without words, the image in front of me a freaking magnet.

Her lips curved into a naughty smile as she reached out, her fingers tracing my abs, stroking, dipping beneath the edge of the towel. My stomach contracted, balls aching, cock hard. I'd never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted her. Ever. Never found someone who fit like this.

For a moment we both froze, as though someone had pressed Pause on the whole night. I just stood there, staring at her, falling. She was so beautiful. So sexy. So vibrant. The kind of girl you couldn't get out of your mind once you'd had a taste.

She was incredible.

Our gazes locked, and I forgot everything but Jordan and the intense pleasure I found with her. Forgot everything but my own want and need.

I didn't know what it was—the absences that punctuated our relationship perhaps, or the passion that seemed to seep through her pores, or the chemistry between us that I couldn't even describe—but there was something here. Something different. Something more. Something that made me desperate for her. Something I swore I saw reflected in her eyes.

And then she moved, her hands gripping the side of the towel, stripping it from my body until I stood naked before her. Her eyes flared with heat, a sigh escaping those pouty lips, and then she was moving again, and I felt the tip of her tongue caress the tip of my cock.

Heaven.

I groaned, my hands fisting her hair, pulling her toward me, pushing against her until I felt her lips part, and I was thrusting inside.

I released her hair, cupping her tits, my fingers tweaking her nipples, the feel of her moaning against my cock the best thing ever. I wanted the whole night with her like this. Wanted to surround myself in her warmth and her moans.

Her hand circled the base of my cock, fisting me, the warm, wet suction of her mouth weakening my knees. She knew exactly how to touch me, knew what my body wanted
before even I did. She took over, alternating between sucking me deep and running her tongue along me, teasing me, dragging my orgasm out until I was desperate to come.

And then my eyes slammed closed, the force of it building in the base of my spine, and I found my release.

NOAH

I lay in bed, watching Jordan sleep, feeling like our relationship was just a series of repeats—seeing her, wanting more, the time slipping away from us, saying good-bye. Even when I saw her, some part of me was already mentally counting down to the time when she would leave again. We were always coming or going, never staying, and part of me wondered how we could continue like this.

Jordan stirred beneath the covers, rolling to her side, throwing an arm over my waist, her cheek coming to rest on my chest. I stroked her hair, wrapping the golden strands around my fingers while she settled into me even more.

Her flight left in five hours. I didn't want to let her go.

Yesterday had gone by in a blur. We'd spent the entire day in bed, watching TV and being lazy, taking breaks for food and fucking. It had been the perfect day and, at the same time, had gone by far too quickly. And now, like always, time was up.

I wanted to talk to her, to see if we were on the same
page, if this was going somewhere more permanent than these weekend trips, and yet I felt like I was coming to her with empty hands. This was the hard part. I didn't know what to say to her, didn't know what I had to offer. What could I say?

I really like you, think I might be falling in love with you, so do you want to give up the business you've built and your friends and family to follow me around the world?

It was fucking hard.

I couldn't meet her halfway, couldn't make a sacrifice of my own. I'd made a commitment to the military and there was no getting out of it, no other option. If she wanted to take this relationship to the next level, then it was all or nothing. And I wasn't sure I could ask that of her. Maybe it would be easier if we were younger. If she hadn't already built a future for herself, or if she had a career that was more portable, one that could move with the military lifestyle.

I wished we could have dated like normal people who just enjoyed each other's company without the added pressure of making big decisions early on. But I only had a year left in Oklahoma and I was a few months away from having to submit my “dream sheet” of where I wanted to go next. As long as I was flying the Viper, I didn't really care, but now there was the added pressure of Jordan to think about. I would have been cool with going overseas, but a long-distance relationship was tough enough without the added hassle of living in different countries.

I wasn't far off my lieutenant colonel promotion board, and my next assignment mattered. I couldn't afford to make a choice based off a relationship that was just casual. And at the same time, I'd spent my whole life choosing the Air Force. I couldn't give everything up for Jordan, but I could
try my hardest to make it easier for us to be together. I just needed to know she was on board, too.

It was the kind of conversation that was serious enough to merit speaking in person, and at the same time, when we only got two days to spend together, it was difficult to want to use that time talking about a future that was daunting to say the least. And part of me resented even having this conversation so early into dating. I felt boxed into a corner of my own making, paying the price for a decision I'd made at eighteen. I didn't regret my choice. I loved flying; there wasn't any other job I could see myself doing. But at the same time, it made things harder than they probably needed to be.

Jordan stirred in my arms again, her face tipping up to stare into mine. Her lashes fluttered and she gave me a sleepy smile.

“Morning.”

I loved waking up to her. What would it be like if I could always have this? If every day of my life included seeing her face in the morning?

“Good morning.”

She kissed the skin over my heart.

“Did you sleep okay?” she murmured.

“Yeah.”

She was seriously adorable in the mornings. She clearly wasn't a morning person, and most of the time I woke up before she did, watching her sleep, enjoying the feel of her in my arms.

I groaned, burying my face in her hair. “I'm going to miss you.”

“Me, too. I wish we lived closer.”

“Me, too.”

Silence descended between us, the impending good-bye already taking over.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered, not even sure what I was apologizing for.

I'm sorry my hands are tied. I'm sorry being with me means giving up everything. I'm sorry I'm in the military. I'm sorry I can't put you first. I'm sorry you deserve better than what I can give you. I'm sorry I'm too selfish to let you go.

Jordan reached out, grasping my face in her hands, her gaze knowing, as though she could read the confusion in my eyes.

“You don't need to apologize. You told me what it would be like from the beginning. It sucks, but I knew that going into it. It was my choice. I could have left what we had in Vegas. I wanted to see where this would go. Wanted to give us a chance. That's not on you.”

The rational part of me knew she was right, and yet the part of me that hated to see her upset or suffering couldn't ignore the pang I felt when I saw the sadness in her eyes. And I also couldn't ignore the voice in the back of my mind that wondered if it should be this hard; if maybe love wasn't supposed to be easier than this.

“Yeah, but did you know how hard it would be?” I asked her, a knot in my throat.

'Cause I hadn't.

I'd done long distance with girls before. It had never been particularly successful, but it hadn't been this. It hadn't been an ache in my chest like someone had ripped my heart out and used it as a stress ball.

“No, I didn't.”

That was the tough thing about it. If I liked her less, it
would have been easier. And at the same time, if I liked her less, I wasn't sure I'd put myself in this position.

“Do you regret it?” I found myself asking, not even sure I was ready to hear the answer she might give.

Her gaze met mine, her expression solemn. “Not for a minute.”

The amount of relief I felt staggered me.

“Me, either.”

Jordan hooked her leg over mine, burrowing deeper into the crook of my arm, soft and warm against my bare skin, the sensation of having her close doing nothing to lessen the need humming through my body. Her hand drifted lower and my breath caught.

“I could stay like this forever,” she murmured, her fingers lazy, stroking and gliding over me with enough pressure to bring me to the precipice without giving me what I craved.

I grinned. “Same.” My hands drifted down her skin, tracing the curves there. I'd had her hours ago and I was already hungry for her again. “Have I mentioned how much I love your body?”

Her expression turned playful instantly, her voice taking on the husky purr my body instantly gravitated toward.

“Not in the last five hours.”

“I love your curves,” I murmured, rolling over and taking her with me until my hips rocked against hers, pressing her into the mattress. “So soft and sweet.”

I tilted her chin, touching my lips to hers, my tongue thrusting in as she made a little hum of pleasure.

“I love your mouth,” I murmured, my hands moving down and arching her forward as she wrapped her legs around my waist.

Jordan's hands twined in my hair, pulling us even closer
together, the kiss turning urgent and hungry as we made the most of the time we had left.

JORDAN

The Oklahoma City airport was quickly becoming both my most favorite and my least favorite place. When my plane landed and I walked toward the gate, my legs carrying me toward Noah, it felt like the best place on earth. But when he dropped me off there, when I waited by the security line, waited for the hug and release, for my legs to carry me
away
from him? Well, then it sucked. Big time.

It had been a good weekend. A great weekend. But I was sick of just having a couple days together. It wasn't exactly a sustainable relationship. And I wasn't sure how we were supposed to take things further if we could never spend time together. Maybe we should take a trip somewhere; I could suggest it after Meg's wedding. I figured meeting the parents was probably enough to spring on him without adding the pressure of a couple's trip. It felt like we were headed there, and at the same time, I couldn't get my bearings on whether things were happening too quickly for us or not quickly enough.

Noah stood next to me while I checked in for my flight and gave the attendant my bag. Whatever weird mood had settled over me like a miasma seemed to have affected him, too, and we wore matching grim expressions as though steeling ourselves for an unpleasant and arduous task.

I'd been lucky in my life. Sure, I'd gone off to college, but I'd only been a few hours away from my parents, and I'd gone with my best friends, so it hadn't been a big thing.
I hadn't had to say good-bye to a lot of people in my life, had always been fortunate enough to have the people I loved close.

I loved Noah.

I'd suspected I was falling in love with him since the beginning, had been able to recognize that this feeling inside me was something else entirely from the way I'd felt with other guys before. But now I knew. And given how complicated things were between us—the chasm created by his job and my difficulty coming to terms with how I fit into his lifestyle—I couldn't say I was entirely happy about it.

And I didn't know how he felt, or if we were even on the same page. We needed to talk about it, but I wasn't sure how to broach that conversation. It seemed counterintuitive to push for a future I wasn't sure I wanted.

God, I really was terrible at this.

We walked toward the security line, our hands linked, my chest tight.

I offered a lame attempt at a smile, not quite meeting his gaze.

“I'll see you in a week.”

Noah squeezed my hand, the same conflicted expression on his face that I figured was mirrored on mine.

I waited for him to say something, hoping I'd somehow find the answers there. But he didn't speak. He moved forward with a jerk, cupping my face, lifting my head to meet him halfway as his lips came down to claim mine.

Whatever the question, this was the answer. It wasn't just a kiss—I'd had good kisses before him. It was the
rightness
of it. The inaudible click that I felt between us. It was something I hadn't found before and it was the thing that kept me holding on, even as I wondered if I was nuts for doing so.

I clung to him, my nails digging into his biceps as his
mouth laid waste to mine. It wasn't as much of a good-bye kiss as it was both promise and claiming, a memory I'd take with me as I got on the plane and left him behind.

He pulled away, his gaze brimming with purpose, his want and need blasting me.

I didn't speak. It was the kind of kiss that was a tough act to follow.

I walked through security, my heart heavy, lips swollen, throat thick with unshed tears. Each step took me farther and farther away; each step extended the invisible thread that connected us, the one I clung to now.

One week.