Fly With Me (16 page)

JORDAN

We spent Saturday night at Joker and Dani's house, hanging out at the barbecue they hosted for the squadron. Judging by the number of people filling their home and spilling out onto the deck and lawn, it looked like all the Wild Aces had come out to party. Kids ran around, playing with toys and shouting. It was a big, chaotic, messy family of people.

I hung out with Dani for the most part, helping her get the food together. Noah got into a discussion about sports and I left him talking with Joker. As the night progressed, the families began to leave and the crowd thinned out a bit, until we were one of the few couples left. I hung off to the side, taking a minute to breathe. It had been an awesome party, but it was one of those nights when I felt like I needed to be “on,” wanting to make a good impression on Noah's friends.

I watched him talking to Dani and Joker, happy to see he was having a good time. My gaze swept over the crowd, stopping on Easy.

Easy stood at the edge of the group, his arms crossed over his chest, highlighting his impressive torso, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. I was surprised to see him on the fringes; he wasn't the kind of guy you expected to be alone at a party like this. I figured he'd be in the thick of it, entertaining everyone with a joke, his arm around a hot girl.

He lifted the bottle to his lips, taking a long pull, his gaze on something across the room. I turned, my attention already drifting back to Noah, when all of a sudden I saw Easy's entire body go stiff as though he were bracing for a blow. A flash of pain drifted across his face—a kind of loneliness, longing, sadness, melancholy, all rolled up into one ball of horrible that I couldn't look away from.

My gaze followed his across the room, trying to figure out what the hell would make a look like that come into his eyes.

Dani stood across the room, her body tucked against Joker's side, a blinding smile on her face. She pressed her lips to her husband's, and my attention jerked back to Easy.

He looked like someone had punched him in the face. No, worse. Physical pain would be tame compared to the look in Easy's eyes now. No, he looked like a man who'd had his insides scraped out with a grapefruit spoon, leaving a mess of entrails and emotions. And then as quickly as it had come, it was gone, his usual mask in place.

It hit me—how he acted differently around Dani, the change in his voice when he spoke to her, the look in his eyes. It had been there all along.

Easy turned away, setting his beer bottle on the table, and headed toward the door, leaving me staring after him, the desire to do something to make it better, even when I
didn't know what, an urge I nearly couldn't resist. I'd never imagined that I'd feel sorry for Easy, and yet I did.

There wasn't anything much worse than wanting someone you couldn't have.

NOAH

I walked away from the group, not in the fucking mood to discuss flying right now. I'd seen the look on Easy's face, like someone had put his dick in a vise at the sight of Dani and Joker together. And I'd seen Jordan see it. And if Easy wasn't fucking careful, everyone would see it.

I knew Easy. He wasn't the kind of guy who would ever make a move on Dani. For all that he could be a player, he was loyal to his friends. And even if he were the kind of guy who would make a move on a bro's wife, Dani wasn't like that at all. Still, this was not good for the squadron. Not to mention, my best friend looked more torn up with each day that passed. I kept thinking that this would go away; it wasn't like he was known for sticking with a girl for longer than a few days anyway. But it wasn't going away. And that made it so much worse.

Jordan walked over to me. I reached out and gripped her hand, linking our fingers. We didn't speak; we just stood there, holding on to each other, as though we both realized how lucky we were to be together. Seeing the naked pain on Easy's face made me hope that I never had to go through the experience of loving someone I couldn't have.

Jordan squeezed my hand. “You should go talk to him.”

She was right, of course, but the truth was, I had no idea how to talk to him.

“I don't know what to say,” I muttered, more than a little embarrassed to admit that I was helpless when it came to my best friend.

“You'll figure it out.”

“I'm a guy. Relationship advice isn't exactly my forte.”

Her lips twitched. “That has not escaped my notice. But it also hasn't escaped my notice that you guys have a bit of a bromance going on. If he's going to talk to anyone about this, it'll be you.”

She was right, and still, I had no clue how to broach a conversation that would basically go along the lines of,
You need to stop fantasizing about our boss's wife.

“I'll go talk to him.”

Jordan's lips pressed to my cheek, her soft curves colliding with my body.

The words hovered between us, unspoken.

I love you.

It was fast. Really, really fast. And despite numerous relationships and the fact that I was thirty-three, I'd never actually said the words before. Never told a woman I wasn't related to that I loved her.

I loved Jordan.

I loved her kindness, her enormous heart. Loved her smile, and her sexiness, and the attitude that perfectly complemented the over-the-top body. She was fun. She made me smile, made me feel things I'd never felt before. And more than anything, I wanted to make this work.

My arms tightened around her as I pulled the words back inside me. A squadron barbecue wasn't exactly the best time or place to tell her how I felt.

She nudged my hip. “Go.”

I grabbed my beer and headed off in search of Easy, slipping out of the party and into Joker's enormous backyard.

Easy leaned against the deck railing, beer in hand, looking up at the stars. He didn't turn as I walked toward him, but we'd had enough nights like this that we both slid into the roles of over a decade of friendship with ease.

I stood next to him, following his gaze up to the sky. It would be a gorgeous night to fly. We drank our beers in silence, the unspoken words between us an elephant in the room.

“I'll get it under control.”

My hand froze in midair, the bottle partway to my mouth.

He sounded bad. Really bad.

I turned to face him. “Are you sure you can do that?”

His jaw clenched as he threw back the beer again.

“I don't know.”

I lifted my beer to my lips.

“I'm not going to do anything.”

“I know.”

“It's obvious, isn't it?”

I didn't know what to tell him. It kind of was; I'd figured it out months ago. Of course, I knew Easy better than anyone. And Dani was so far from the girl you expected Easy to be attracted to, that I figured most people hadn't picked up on it. But it was only a matter of time. Especially if he kept looking at her the way he did.

I didn't say anything, but I figured my nonanswer was answer enough.

He emptied the bottle of beer, setting it down on the wooden railing.

“Go back to your girl. I'll come inside in a second.”

“You sure?”

He nodded.

I turned to walk back into the party and Easy's voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Don't fuck it up with her. She's the kind of girl you work your ass off to keep. You're not going to find another one like her. Take it from me, nothing sucks more than watching the girl you want be just out of your grasp.”

JORDAN

We got home from the barbecue late, a weird tension descending on the group. Noah was quiet and left to take a shower. Easy went to the living room and turned on the television. And I hovered in the hallway, wondering if I should say something to him because the look of utter defeat on his face suggested he desperately needed someone to talk to.

Finally, Easy broke the silence for me.

“You can just say it. I know you saw.”

I swallowed. “You love her.”

The look he sent me was an awful mix of pain and panic.

“No.”

My gaze didn't waver.

“Yeah,” he admitted, his voice low.

That word. He said it as though it clawed its way through his throat. I'd always thought of Easy as shallow. And I'd never really understood Noah's friendship with him. But the look in Easy's eyes, the sound of his voice—there was a depth there I'd never imagined. And even more surprising, it had been Dani who brought it out in him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He rubbed his jaw, that same haunted stare in his gaze.

“No.”

“Do you need to talk about it?”

He nodded.

An idea hit. Maybe it was stupid, but I felt the need to do
something
.

“Wait here.”

I walked to the kitchen, rummaging around in the freezer until I found the carton I was looking for. I grabbed two spoons from the drawer and headed back to the living room.

I bit back a laugh at the look of curiosity on Easy's face. Given the state of their kitchen before I'd gone grocery shopping, I figured there wasn't a lot of mint chocolate chip in his life. It was a travesty I was determined to rectify as soon as possible.

I handed him a spoon and the carton of ice cream.

“Eat.”

The side of his mouth twitched. “Is this supposed to make it all okay?”

“Not even close. But it's good. Really good. And perfect body aside, you need a little splurge.”

The twitch grew. “Do you force-feed Noah ice cream?”

“I have other means of making Noah happy.”

He grinned. “I've heard.”

I made a face.

“No, literally, you guys are loud as shit. Noah hasn't said a word, though.”

My cheeks flamed at the idea of Easy hearing us have sex. It wasn't lost on me that I was, indeed, loud.

“Do you and Noah usually talk about your sex lives?”

“Usually?” Easy shrugged, opening the carton. “Sometimes. Not about you.”

That was a relief, at least.

“This is good,” he commented, polishing off a spoonful of ice cream. “Did you get Noah to buy this?”

I nodded. “The rabbit food got old.”

Another smile. He really was beautiful. “Rabbit food?”

“Almonds, celery, carrots.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.”

We sat there in silence while he ate the ice cream, occasionally holding the carton out to me so that I could dig out a spoonful. And with the magic of mint chocolate chip, he started talking.

“I keep thinking—hoping—it'll go away. That I'll look at her and this feeling in my chest won't be there anymore. I keep waiting for it to die.”

I winced. “When did it start?”

“First time I saw her. We had a Hail and Farewell. It's a squadron function where we welcome new pilots that come in and say good-bye to ones who are leaving. I'd been TDY so I'd missed the change of command, didn't even know who she was. I just walked into the squadron bar and saw this girl standing there, playing with one of the kids, this smile on her face . . .”

His voice broke off, that look back in his eyes.

“I've never felt that way. Ever. I wanted to know who she was, hell, I think part of me stopped thinking and I just went over there, determined to make her mine, my brain not even considering the idea that she would already be with someone else. It seemed wrong that she should be with someone else, that she wasn't meant for me.”

Oh my God.

Oh.

My.

God.

I'd never heard a guy say stuff like this. And given the time I'd spent in the fighter squadron, I'd
really
never heard a guy like Easy say stuff like this. There didn't appear to be a lot of sensitive and deep feelings within the Wild Aces, but now I realized I was wrong.

“Then Joker came up and wrapped his arms around her and I realized who she was.”

I could only imagine how he'd felt. The pain. The epic disaster of it all. And I had to imagine that the thing that made it worse was that Joker was a good guy. This wasn't a situation where Dani was unhappy in a loveless marriage. She adored her husband, and it was pretty clear that he adored her, too.

“How long has it been?”

“A year.”

I didn't even know what to say. It was a crappy situation. A really, really crappy situation.

“That sucks.”

“No shit.”

“Maybe you'll meet someone else,” I offered.

Easy gave me a look of amusement. “I meet a lot of girls.”

True.

“You've met her. Do you think I'm going to meet anyone else like her?”

I got his point. Dani seemed pretty special.

“Maybe you'll meet someone who isn't like her, but who you like even more.”

He didn't respond, just kept digging at the ice cream. I didn't know if there was anything I could say to make this better; I was beginning to suspect there wasn't. Maybe Noah had been right about all of it and I should have just left it alone.

Fuck.

I sucked in a deep breath. “You know Dani told me about what you did for her. About the miscarriage.”

His jaw clenched.

“And she told me that you were a good guy. A really good
guy. She cares about you. A lot. I know it's not the same way you feel about her, and believe me, I know it hurts to want her and not be able to have her, but you are special to her. She sees the deep in you, and even though I didn't see it before, I see it now.”

I reached out and squeezed his hand.

“It's not my business, but you're important to two people I care about, so you're important to me. You deserve more than girls who are trying to bag a status symbol. And the girls who care, who want more, deserve better than a guy who's just fucking his way through heartbreak. So be the guy everyone thinks you can be. Maybe you can't have Dani, but I promise you, there's someone out there for you. You just have to find her.”