Flicker (9 page)

He nods at Trace. "You might need to find
another idea."

Trace has shifted so his hand is next to
Amelia's leg. His thumb rubs the inside of her pant leg where only
we can see.

Go Amelia!

The guys burst into laughter and Joey
tumbles off the side of the car, landing flat on his back, which
makes them laugh even harder.

Boys can be such—

"Dude!" Jason yells. "That's totally what
she looks like!"

They all turn to look at me.

"What?"

"You." Joey croaks from the ground. "When
you go all spastic in class."

"What?" I repeat.
They can't be talking about when I flicker. They can't. No
one knows. How could they know?

"You know," Jason laughs, "when you get all
twitchy in class, like you just woke up or something."

Fuck!
I crack
open the second beer and take a long drink. "Yeah, that." I'm
trying to play it cool but now they're really staring at me. I take
another drink and my head spins.

Amelia giggles next to me. "You guys
are ridiculous."
Thank you Amelia.
"If she's sleeping how does she know she's twitching?" Okay,
not helping so much.

I set the beer down—that's definitely not
going to help—but I can't think of anything to say. My mind's gone
blank.

"You okay?" Cameron whispers.

Frustration pushes away my embarrassment. I
hate people asking me that, but more than that, I hate having him
worry about me. "I'm fine. Sorry. I guess I didn't expect to be the
butt of the joke."

Everyone relaxes. Joey stands up and brushes
himself off. "That's why it's so funny."

By now everyone is getting buzzed so I don't
have to wait long before the conversation moves to something else,
but my exuberance is gone. I'm beyond happy to have Cameron so
close, but my typical worries come crashing back.

Midway through her second beer Amelia nudges
me. "I have to pee."

"You can't wait?"

"No. Come with me."

I stand up, my stiff legs groaning in
protest.

Cameron slides a hand around the back of my
thigh and I want to sink back into his lap. "Be careful." The
serious expression on his face sobers me up. I'd forgotten about
the real danger lurking out there.

"We will."

Amelia loops her arm through mine and scans
the group on the cars. "Haley, you need to go?"

"Yes! Wait up." There's rustling of jackets
and the clink of a beer can being set on a car as Haley
disentangles herself from Travis.

We pick our way around the cars and find the
narrow path at the edge of the tree line. The boat ramp doesn't
have any outbuildings so the bathroom is the woods. Faint light
illuminates the spot where we're parked, but the three feet into
the forest and we're blind.

"Do you guys know where we're going?" Haley
fumbles for my arm and latches on. "I can't see shit."

I trip over a tree root and nearly take them
both down with me.

Amelia bursts out laughing. "I guess this is
far enough. Make sure you're uphill. I'm not responsible for which
way my piss flows." She unzips and in seconds the quiet is replaced
with the sound of her peeing.

Haley and I scramble further down the path,
clinging to each other. I sure as hell am not getting pissed on. I
stop next to a hollowed out tree while Haley inches further down
the path. A car engine revs in the distance, and headlights shine
through the trees.

The ridiculously straight trees.

I never noticed how evenly spaced they
are.

The headlights get brighter and my fingers
twitch.

No.
I close
my eyes but it’s too late.

"Haley. Amelia. Hurry up."

"I'm almost done." Plants rustle as Haley
tries to keep her balance. Moments later I hear her zipper, then
she's standing next to me, once again clinging to my arm.

But the tingling has already started.

The car drives alongside the tree line,
lighting us up as if we had a spotlight on us. I know I can't
flicker this way, but I can't stop the heaviness that crashes onto
me. I fight to stay on my feet.

Haley stumbles beneath my sudden weight.
"Biz, what are you doing?"

"What's going on?" Amelia's at my side.

"She just collapsed."

"Biz, how much did you drink?"

I can't answer them. I can't move. They're
staring at me like I've grown a third head and I wish I could
explain that I'll be weightless in a second and then we can walk
back to our friends like nothing happened. But right now I can't
make my body respond.

And like that the heaviness lifts and I'm
back on my feet. "Sorry. That beer really hit me." I slip an arm
through each of theirs and take a step towards the parking lot.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Haley asks. "You
practically passed out."

Amelia squeezes my arm. "She's fine. Nothing
another beer won't fix, right Biz?" She knows I don't drink much
and while I'm grateful she doesn't say anything more in front of
Haley, I know she's going to want an explanation.

I force a laugh. "Exactly."

We burst out of the woods, all laughter and
squeals. Haley doesn't realize we're faking, which means most of
the guys won't either. Cameron will know something's wrong the
second I sit down. That's just how he is.

The three of us split off towards our guys.
I squat near Cameron. "I'm ready to go."

"What the hell took you so long?" Kirk
asks.

"Yeah," Joey laughs. "We were about to send
out a search party. We thought maybe you'd gotten kidnapped."

While everyone laughs, Cameron stiffens next
to me.

Yes, it's definitely time to go.

"Joey!" Amelia yells as Jason punches him in
the arm.

"What?"

"Cam," Haley whispers loud enough that we
all hear.

Cameron's breathing's grown shallow. He's
working his jaw, clenching and unclenching like he's ready to tear
Joey a new one.

Joey's mouth drops open, late to the clue
bus once again. "Dude, sorry. I wasn't thinking about—"

"Just drop it."

"Shit, man."

The uncomfortable silence amplifies every
sound from the forest. Crickets chirping, weird hoots, and a
freakishly loud branch snapping.

Suddenly Haley laughs much louder than
necessary. "You guys, Biz totally passed out when Amelia was
peeing!"

Cameron's head whips towards me, along with
everyone else's. "You did?"

"Just for a second. It's no big deal." I
search out his eyes in the darkness. The guys snicker. "Can we
please just go?"

"Yeah." He pulls me to my feet. "You guys
can hang on to the blanket, just make sure I get it back at
school."

Trace holds out his hand and they do one of
those guy handshakes that only makes sense to them. "Sure thing.
Thanks."

Amelia looks up at me, uncertainty and
excitement battling on her face. "Call me later."

"I will." My hand lifts in a half-hearted
wave. "Bye guys. See you Monday."

"Good luck, Cam," Travis calls out. "Looks
like you're gonna need it."

Chapter 12

"What an ass." I stomp towards Cameron's
car, not caring if Travis can hear me. "He always has to say
something to ruin my night."

Cameron unlocks the car but doesn't open the
door. Instead he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close
against his chest. "I wouldn't say it's ruined."

My body responds and I relax into him.
"Okay, maybe ruined is too strong."

"In fact, except for a couple dumbass
comments, I think this has been a pretty good night."

Our kiss at the zoo plays through my mind.
"You have a point." I stand on my tiptoes and brush my lips against
his throat.

He sighs softly, his breath warm on my face.
"See, Travis doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm already
lucky."

My shoulders tense and I pull back. "Getting
a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

He jerks his head, confused for a moment
before he realizes what I mean. "No! God, Biz, I didn't mean that."
His hands slide into my hair and he cradles my head. He brushes the
tip of his nose against mine. "I meant I'm already lucky because
you're here with me."

If I wasn't close to melting earlier, I am
now. "Oh."

Our lips meet and I pull him closer. He
traces my jaw with his thumb, sliding it lower down my throat,
making my pulse stutter. The kiss deepens. The taste of him fills
my head and I grip the back of his shirt like it's the only thing
keeping us connected.

He breaks off the kiss but his lips don't
stop. His mouth travels to where his thumb had been and settles at
the curve of my collarbone. The heat from his tongue sends chills
down my back and a tingling sensation races through me, but without
the fear I have when flickering. There's nothing scary about
this.

He lifts his head and nuzzles my other ear.
"We should get out of here."

I can't get in the car fast enough.

Cam drives slowly, taking extra care
when turning onto the main road. He only had one beer, but
we
are
a few years shy of
legal drinking age.

Cameron's hand settles on my knee. "Where
to?"

"I should probably go home." I'd love to
spend the rest of the night with him, but I'm worried about Dad. My
being there doesn't really do anything for him, but Mom could use
the moral support. Or the help in case he has another seizure.

He moves his hand so he's gripping the
inside of my knee and winks. "You sure?"

My heart races. I smile. "No. But I am
worried about my dad."

His smile falls. "Right."

We ride through town in silence. I keep
replaying the kiss at the zoo—the feel of Cameron's lips on mine,
how safe I felt in his arms—and can't believe he's sitting right
next to me. My gaze drops to his hand still caressing my leg. This
all feels like a dream.

"So what happened in the woods?"

Cameron's voice startles me out of my
daydream. "Oh, you know Haley. She's drunk and made a big deal that
I tripped."

"It didn't sound like you tripped."

"Well I did have a couple beers."

He nods, lips tight.

"What?"

"You don't want to hear it."

"Just say it."

He rubs his hand over my thigh. "I'm worried
about you."

"Oh." It's not that I don't want to hear
that—of course I like that he's concerned about me—but I don't like
him worrying. "What can I say to change that?"

His voice is quiet. "I don't know."

He doesn't speak again until he parks around
the corner from my house. He kills the engine and shifts so he's
facing me, then lifts his hand to my face. "Whatever's going on,"
he looks down, then back into my eyes, "you know you can trust
me."

"I do trust you."

His fingers weave through my hair, settling
just behind my ear. "Then tell me what's going on with you." He
closes his eyes. "You already know all my secrets."

I touch my fingertips to his eyelids and he
turns his face to kiss my palm. An unfamiliar emotion fills my
heart, my throat, and finds its way to my head, where it leaks out
of one eye. I quickly brush away the tear before he notices.

His eyelids flutter open. His dark eyes gaze
into mine and whatever I planned to say is lost. I lean closer and
his lips meet mine. We cling to each other with a ferocity I've
never felt before. As the kiss grows more urgent, all sense of
self-control slips away and I melt into his arms.

My phone beeps, breaking the mood. "Crap," I
mumble into Cameron's mouth. "I've got ten minutes to get home."
Amelia came up with the idea after the third time I got grounded
for missing curfew.

He starts the engine and putters around the
corner, stopping in front of my house. The only light on my street
comes from the streetlight on the corner and the porch light over
my front door. Old Berta grinds to a halt in front of my house.

The dashboard clock reads 11:52. "Just in
time."

"So, uh…" he clears his throat. "I had a
really good time tonight. It's different with you since we already
know each other, you know? It's kinda nice not worrying so
much."

"What do you mean so much?"
Relax
. I take a deep breath. "I
mean, what are you worried about?"

He shrugs. "Just what I said before. About
ruining our friendship."

"Cameron, I can't tell you when I've ever
felt like this about anyone. Part of me still can't believe this is
happening, but I'm really happy it is. It feels right, you
know?"

He rests his hand on my knee. "I do."

My hand moves to the door handle, but
Cameron reaches over me and opens it for me. "Let me get that
for—"

I lay a kiss on him before he can finish his
sentence. Technically, I'm home.

His fingers twine through my hair, pulling
me close, while his other hand fumbles with my seatbelt. The latch
clicks and I try to climb over the seat but my leg catches on the
shifter. He slides a hand beneath me and lifts me onto his lap so
my feet are on the passenger seat, but rather than kissing me, he
tucks my head against his chest and holds me.

I want to stay here forever. I can deal with
being grounded. Just let this moment last a little longer.

After a few minutes he lifts my chin with
his finger so he's looking in my eyes. He brushes a soft kiss on my
lips. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

I sigh. "Thank you for tonight. I had a
really good time, too." So good, in fact, that I've already made up
my mind to relive tonight. I kiss him one last time then climb back
to my seat and open the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."