Fledge (20 page)

Isten pulls me up and holds down a smile as I wipe the drool from my mouth.

I recognize Lucan's parking garage from the other night and everyone files through the doors into the building.

"What is this place?"

Arel is next to me so he answers. "Lucan's apartments."

"This is an apartment?"

"It's Aves headquarters too, so…"

Yeah, well, that explains everything, then. Thanks.

They take the stairs up several levels and I'm shuffling my feet and out of breath when I finally catch up with them. They start walking again, leaving me behind.

Assholes
.

I turn the corner and bump into Ashur. "Sorry," I mumble. And keep walking. He stays behind me for the rest of the way. We meet up with the guys in the outer chambers of Lucan's offices. Some lady with no wings shows us into a conference room and says to wait.

The guys all take seats at the crescent-shaped table but I wait until Ashur points to the one next to him. "You're the nine, Junco, this is your chair."

Ryse is at the far left, Ashur is at the far right, and Braun is in the middle. Isten, myself, and an empty chair are situated between Ashur and Braun, while Arel, Rikan, and Mish are between Ryse and Braun.

I sense there is a method to this seating arrangement, but I don't see it.

Lucan enters in a rush. "Good afternoon, 039."

"Good afternoon," they say together.

I look up at Lucan. "Uh, good afternoon."

He smiles. "Junco, it's nice to have you at a meeting for once."

I scowl. "I've been busy, you know."

"Very busy," he agrees. "Which is why I'm wondering why you insist on breaking the rules and forcing me to take you off task."

I stare at him as the understanding creeps in. This is not a friendly chat, this is a military meeting and he is my commander. "Sir, I am fighting for my life in there and the SEAR is really not against the rules, in fact the rules state that only biological weapons can be used and my weapon certainly qualifies."

"Uh-huh. 039, do you agree that Junco should be allowed to use the weapon in her Fledge?"

They say various things but in general they agree. I get a smug look on my face.

"Well, if this were a democracy, Junco, you'd win, wouldn't you?"

I scowl at him.

"But this is not a democracy, this is the military and the 039 is my personal Aves team. Which means you are my personal soldier. And as such, you will do what I tell you. Is that clear?"

My eyes look straight ahead. "Yes, sir."

He smiles, happy with my obedience. "You make a much better soldier than you do a woman, Junco. Sorry, but it's true."

The guys let out little laughs as my face heats up, but Ashur cuts it off with a curt, "Enough."

"We will discuss your weapon after we conclude the team's business." He turns and takes a seat at the front of the room. "Oh, and by the way, good job staying alive today."

I mumble a "thank you, sir" and then the meeting begins.

Basically, they've cut Tier out. Ashur has been promoted to captain, Ryse to XO, and Braun to the up position. Which, from what I can gather through conversation, means he is training to be a pilot and then he will eventually go through officer school like Ryse just did.

Braun doesn't strike me as officer material, not because he's not competent, but because he's got a little too much rebel in him. He doesn't look particularly happy either. He stands and gives a report on the status of his training and then slumps down in the straight-backed chair. Ryse and Ashur give reports on what the rest of the team are doing. Isten will be guarding some local big-shot in town for the night and the others are just on patrols in places I've never heard of.

Lucan's attention comes back to me. "Junco, report on your status."

I stand. "Well, I killed, uh–" I stop to count them up in my head. "Fifty-two people today." Then I blow out some air and try to explain my injury. "Someone broke my feathers and Kush had to help me again." And then I sit back down.

"Nothing else to report?"

I groan and stand up again. My chair scrapes against the tile and the noise makes me wince. "Sir, I took a shower and a nap."

"Two naps," Isten corrects me. "She slept on the floor of the flyer on the way over."

The guys all think this is funny, but I ignore them.

"Did you eat?"

Oh, fuck. If they start up with me about eating again–

"Junco? Did you eat?"

"Not yet, but–"

"Ashur, the team will make sure she eats before escorting her back to Fledge."

"Yes, sir."

Now it's my turn to slump down in my chair. They make me feel like a child. It doesn't help that I look like a child next to them. Even Arel is giant next to me. They talk about stuff I don't understand for another twenty minutes and then everyone but Ashur and me is dismissed.

Lucan begins talking before Rikan can close the door behind him. "Junco, what does it mean to be a captain in your Earth military?"

"It's a middle-rank officer."

"Here," he continues, "it is not a middle rank. It is the highest rank – under the Archers, do you understand?"

"I get the point, if that's what you mean."

"That is not what I mean, do you understand how we rank our military?"

"No."

"I'll send you a file that you can study."

"Send it to me where?"

"You have your com, correct? My vision display says it is on your person."

I scrunch my eyebrows together and he sighs. "Yes, we track you with it. But at least we don't implant it in your body."

I reach into my thigh pocket and pull out the flexible card and put it on the table.

"Good. Ashur will program it for you before you are dropped off and I will send you information that way."

"Yes, sir."

"Were you allowed to disobey your commanders on Earth, Junco?"

"No, sir."

"Will you disobey Ashur?"

I look at Ashur. "No, sir."

"Wonderful. Ashur, you may wait outside."

I let out a giant groan and both heads snap back and show annoyance at my grumbling.

When Ashur is gone Lucan walks over to a terrace on the far end of the room. "Come here, Junco. The meeting is over and you are free to speak."

The doors slide open as we approach and the noise of the city bombards my ears. There are flyers going by at eye level and the city lights are all on now that the afternoon is winding down.

He leans against the balcony railing and so do I, suddenly feeling weary. "Everyone knows who you are now, thanks to that woman on Earth, so you may continue to use the SEAR if the situation requires it."

"Thanks."

"I'm afraid you've misunderstood what the General Fledge is about, though, Junco. You see, you're making a few mistakes and Ashur is worried about how they will affect your chances for success."

I groan again and wait it out.

"You're collecting children? To protect during the battles?"

I shake my head. "That's not exactly true, Lucan. I'm not collecting them, it's just I've grown fond of Isec, and the little girl today – it was just too much. She's just a kid."

"You're not doing them any favors, Junco. Even if those kids make it because of you, they'll be killed in the Aves for not being strong enough. It's futile what you are doing."

I shrug. "I'm not going to stop."

"You'll disobey?"

I look him straight in the eye. "Yeah, I will."

He pauses to see if I'll add anything to that statement, but I don't. "Here's where I think you're getting confused, Junco. You're already an extremely well-trained soldier so you've been taught from an early age, a very early age I've heard, that you're a member of a team. This is what makes a good soldier, you have that cohesive property in you. I get it. If you were in the Aves Fledge, you'd be part of a team, that is a major difference between the General Fledge and the Aves Fledge."

He stops and looks at me until I nod. "OK."

"The General Fledge has no teams, Junco. And you keep insisting on trying to build one out of these throwaways."

"That's not what this is about, Lucan." I lean over and rest my hands on the top rail, then sink my head down on them and close my eyes. "I just can't kill the little ones." I look up again and study his face, but he's stoic. "And I'm not killing Isec. I'm not."

"Well, this is interesting. Because, you know, we all feel that way about you, Junco. Very protective."

I have to admit, this catches me off guard.

He smiles. "Of course, you're highly qualified, and there's the difference. Tier was correct when he refused to kill you. Because you're the perfect Aves warrior."

I put my head down again.

"These kids will not make it, Junco. They will not."

I stay silent and wait for it.

"However, if it will make you happy, I will have Ashur and the men train them for you."

I look up and smile. "You will?"

"But they will still die, Junco."

I nod.

"And the end will not shift. You will still end up in the same place. Recall that I told you before that the time to change the outcome was past?"

I nod.

"You will still hate me in the end, Junco. But it wasn't me who put you here. It was Tier. And it was you."

"I get the feeling that you know a lot more about what's going on than I do."

"That is the understatement of the millennium. You know nothing. And now," he turns back to the apartment, "this conversation is over. I will send Kush a personal thank you. Goodbye."

The guys are all waiting for me outside and none of them look happy about it. "Finally," Ryse says. I try to catch Braun's eye but he ignores me. They all shuffle out the doors and again, I'm last. I walk out and find Ashur waiting for me around the corner. He lets me pass and then takes up the rear.

We get food to go from the cafeteria and pile in the flyer. I eat whatever it is they hand me and it's not bad. When we finally reach the Fledge building I get out and they close the door and issue half-hearted goodbyes.

And then I am alone.

And for the first time in a very long time, I feel lonely.

I lie down in the grass and look up at the ceiling and puff on a cigar. A little while later I hear wings and turn to see Ashur landing on the sidewalk.

"I forgot to program your com, Junco." He sits down next to me and I hand it over. He hands it back a few minutes later. "Are we good?"

"I guess. I mean, you're the captain, right?"

"That's not how the 039 works, Junco. We're tight. Perfect."

"What do you want me to say? I forgive you? I do. I doubt I've ever had a real moment of privacy in my life. Why should I care about one more person watching me? It's absurd."

He pulls me next to him and wraps me in his wings. "I'm sorry, OK?"

I squirm in his arms but he doesn't let me go. "I was never really mad about you watching me, Ashur. It doesn't matter."

"Then what's your deal, Junco?"

I look up at him. "I'm not in control of
anything
. I mean, yeah, soldiering is something I can do. But no one asked me if I wanted to be a soldier here. Or on Earth for that matter. I get that I have to do the Fledge thing, that's not an option if I want to stay. But don't I ever get a say?"

"I never got a say. Tier never got a say. None of us did."

"Yeah, but maybe I'd rather be a woman than a soldier. Did you guys ever think of that?"

His eyes search mine. "Would you really? Is that why you're sleeping with that Kush guy?"

I laugh. "I'm not sleeping with Kush. Don't be ridiculous."

"There's been reports that you spent last night with him up in the observatory."

"Well, yeah. But I was sleeping. Not fucking him."

He chokes on his laugh. "Junco, soldiers talk like that, not women."

I shrug and chew on a fingernail.

He's silent for a few minutes and I wait patiently. "It's just a job, Junco. And compared to some jobs on this stupid habitat, it's a damn good one. Like I said when you first came out of morph, you can have it made here. You just have to give it a chance and try to follow
some
directions."

This, I think, might be the crux of the problem. "I want to go back to Earth, Ashur. The thought of staying here forever makes me–" I stop and shake my head without finishing.

He hugs me tighter. "I get it. We'll go back, I promise."

"How can you promise that?"

"Because we never finished our job. We still have four Siblings to find. Believe it or not, we spent a lot of time on you. Years, Junco – you and Moju both, actually. You two really sidetracked us big time." He stops and pushes me away, then pulls me up on my feet with him. "When Fledge is over we'll do something else, OK?"