Fledge (35 page)

Ryse grabs me by the shoulders to tug me upright, then pushes me back behind him. "What the fuck are you doing, Ashur?" he asks calmly, shaking his head at him. "Don't do that. If you've got a problem you don't manhandle her, for fuck's sake."

Ashur is pacing, breathing hard, and his eyes never leave mine. "You want to be a warrior, Junco? Fight like a man? Then fuck it, I'll treat you like one. You're not fighting in Deliverance. That is a fucking order and you are not quitting."

I remain calm. "You were just fine with me quitting last night when all you could think about was sleeping with me, though, right? I can quit as long as I do it on your terms?" I shake my head. "This isn't about you, Ashur, how many fucking ways do I have to say it?" He's about to say something predictable but I cut him off. "It's not about Tier either. Or you guys." I point to each of my team members. "It's about me."

"Junco." Isten walks up to me. "I get it, I really do. But there's a very good fucking chance you'll win. Do you really want to be the one who kills Tier?"

I look down, then force my head back up to meet his gaze. "I'm definitely not going to kill Tier. This fight is happening. It's done."

Lucan arrives in front of me then. "No, Junco, this is not happening. And you said the same thing about not killing Isec if I recall correctly."

My rage boils over and I spit at him, "How dare you. After you talked me up with all that shit about Isec not being good enough, all those sob stories about your goddamn gene pool, how fucking dare you."

He stares at me but no apology comes forth.

I look at each one of them and let my eyes stop with Ashur. "You fucking people think you know me because you spied on me for a while? You don't know me, you showed up when I was seventeen, after all the fucking psychological torture and conditioning was over. When the fucking die had already been cast and I was already complete. What about all those years you missed? You've got no idea the shit I live with every day. You think those teeny tiny little secrets you learned about recently are it? That's all there is to my fucked-up existence? Do you really tell yourselves that my childhood was nothing but a protected life of piano lessons and horseback riding?"

I shake my head and start again in a calmer, more controlled tone. "You don't want to know what I've done because it would take about two seconds for you to realize I'm not fucking worth any of this shit. There is no cure for what I am."

I stare at them in silence.

No one says a word so I look Lucan in the eye. "I fucking told you she gave me orders. This is what she said to do. And you can take it up with her if you don't fucking like it, but as of today I've got a new boss. That bitch has the look of eternal vengeance to her, so I'm proceeding as instructed. At this point I don't give a fuck how it ends – just fucking make it end!"

Ryse interjects, shaking his head and squinting his eyes at Lucan. "What the fuck are we talking about here?"

I look up at Ryse. "Ask Lucan, he's Mr. I-see-the-fucking-future, not me."

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I walk away, jump down the stairs to the terrace three at a time, and find shelter in the window seat of my room.

My com vibrates in my pants and I answer. "What?"

"Kadian here, Junco. I see you in the window and you don't look so sure of your decision."

I huff. "Kadian, I'm very fucking sure of my decision."

"I saw the little fight up on the roof. That Ashur has a violent side. It's quite disturbing."

"If you show that to anyone, Kadian, I will–"

"Relax, snowbird. I'm not interested in your little lover spats. I called to ask if I can have the pre-fight interview."

I scan across the traffic outside my window to see if he's over there, then see him wave. "I guess. Why not?" My Farm Family breeding and manners kick in, I can't help myself. "I never did thank you for the lovely evening. It really was spectacular. And your girlfriend, she's amazing."

"Yes, she is. But she's gone on tour now, so I only have you to distract me."

I smile. "I don't care for Inanna though, I have to be honest."

"Yes, good instincts, Junco. She's wild. But she lives in a man's world, so how can we blame her? When you're blessed with the skill set she was given, it's got to be hard to remember that you're just a girl sometimes."

I snort. "Gee, thanks for the dig, Kadian. As if I don't have enough to think about, now I can brood over how wild I should or should not be in order to accomplish the heinous things they make me do."

He's silent on the other end, but I hear him exhale. Frustration with me?

"If you only knew what they've told me to do over the years, Kadian, you wouldn't say that shit to me, even if you think it's a thinly veiled joke."

More silence.

"And when you add in the fact that I've been forced to kill like a rabid nightdog since I was six, well, then you could maybe cut me some fucking slack when I get a little wild."

I end the call and flip him off in the window.

Lucan appears a few seconds later, like he was waiting for me to end the call or something. He is calm when he speaks. "Junco, Ashur will take you to Layla. I want a complete medical workup."

And then he is gone.

I huff out some air as the door chimes, then pull myself together and open the door to meet Ashur.

His eyes turn away as he mumbles, "Sorry, Junco."

"You know what, Ashur? That's not the first time you've lost your temper with me, but I'm going to tell you something right now. It is the last. You do it again, and I'll fucking kill you just like I did that motherfucker in the dorm showers." I wait for his eye contact to see if he'll challenge me, but he doesn't. He just nods and walks out towards the terrace and I follow.

The ride over is painfully silent. We don't even argue. We just sit. Apparently my first home on Amelia was Layla's lab to begin with because that's where we end up. The table and screen are both still there, but the bed is gone. Ashur takes a seat at the table and starts changing channels while I let Layla pull me into the lab.

"How have you been, Junco?"

My lips pout a little. "I've been better, to be honest. How about you? Haven't seen you in a while."

She smiles at me. "Yeah, I've been busy. Lucan says he wants another body scan so we can compare it to the ones we did when you came out of morph."

I nod at her.

"To see if there have been any changes."

Right. Changes.

I strip and stand behind the transparent screen. Last time it took a while to get the machine set up, but Lucan must have had this planned before my little outburst, because she's right on top of things. As soon as I get in position, the laser is reading my body.

I can see Ashur out of the corner of my eye and then the door chimes and I watch him get up to go answer it. I hear some muffled talking and then Monk appears around the corner.

"Hey, Junco," he says.

I shake my head.

Layla clicks her tongue. "Stand still, Junco, now I'll have to do that again."

"Do we have to have an audience? I'm naked, you assholes, get the fuck out!"

They both step back at my tone and then retreat around the wall, but I don't hear the door chime, so I know they didn't leave.

"I said, get out! Not fucking hide behind the wall!"

Layla loses her patience and goes around the corner. "You heard her, get out! You know better!"

This time the door does chime.

"Thank you," I say, letting out a breath of exasperation.

"Fucking children, I have no idea how you put up with them, Junco. If I had to spend all my time with those assholes, I'd go crazy."

I smile. "Really?"

She nods. "Oh, yeah. Tier was one thing, he's different. But the rest of them are just giant babies. I can't stand it. I feel sorry for those girls they promoted to warriors. They have no idea what they are in for. Now hold still and we'll run it again and be done."

When she's finished I put my clothes back on and take a seat at the table where I played my first poker game on Amelia.

"Hey, Layla?"

"Uh-huh?" she answers from the lab.

"Have you seen Braun?"

She pokes her head around the corner of the wall that separates us. "Why?"

"He's been avoiding me since…" I think back. "Since I left here to go to Fledge, really. I miss him."

She comes over and sits at the table. "Lucan is keeping the two of you apart."

"Why?"

She shakes her head and shrugs. Then she puts her hands up in a helpless gesture. "He thinks you're plotting something."

"Holy fucking Christos, you're right. I can't spend another fucking minute with these overbearing fucking little boys. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to lose my mind."

She smiles and then laughs. "I see him all the time, I'll tell him you're asking. He'll like that. He's my second favorite, after Tier." She looks at me for a few seconds. "So, you don't have to tell me, but if you do I won't say anything. I can call it doctor-patient confidentiality."

"What?"

Her face falls and gets serious, then sad. "Do you really have a plan? For Tier?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Will it work?"

Her eyes plead with me, but I can only throw up my hands. "I don't know, Layla."

"Well, you may not have been talking to Braun these past few weeks, but I have. And he got me to agree to something I might not be one hundred percent on board with."

"Which is what?" I ask.

"The plan you two have. He won't tell me what it is, just asked that I be ready and to come when he calls. You know anything about this?"

"I can't say either way, Layla."

She nods and pulls herself together, then gets up to go check on the tests. A few minutes later she calls out, "You should come take a look, Junco."

I get up and walk around the corner to the viewing screen. My body image is almost white with circuits now. I shake my head and feel my throat start to ache as the tears well up. "What is it?"

"It's you." She looks at it for a long moment, then turns to me and gives me a sympathetic smile. "You're wired from top to bottom."

"Will it kill me?"

She shakes her head. "I doubt it. The first rule of symbiosis is do no harm. Otherwise you lose the host."

I'm a host. "What does it mean?"

She lets out a prolonged exhale. "Well, I'd guess it makes you capable of doing a lot of fucking stuff no one else can."

"Like?"

She laughs. "I dunno, eavesdropping in on people's coms? Hacking into databases? Stealing money from accounts? You have a very bright future, and I mean that literally," she says, pointing to the bright white lines on the image, "in stealth circuit ops."

I grunt and laugh with her despite myself. "Gee, just the career I've always wanted."

The door chimes and we both go silent. She snaps the image from the viewer and begins rolling it up as Ashur and Monk appear. "Well, you're all done here, Juncs. I'll get this over to Lucan." She shrugs. "But what he'll do with it I have no idea. Don't let these assholes get you down, they are just boys in the end." She slips the rolled-up image in a tube and heads out towards the door.

Monk, Ashur, and I stand there looking at each other. Then we all start talking at once.

Ashur and Monk are yelling face to face, complete with finger-points to the chest, meanwhile I can't even get them to look down and notice me at all. I stick my fingers on my tongue and whistle so loud they both hold their ears. "Shut the fuck up for a minute." I let out a breath. "OK, what is going on?"

Monk speaks first. "Rache wants me to bring you back to Justice, Junco. I'm under orders."

Ashur shakes his head. "Rache isn't Junco's Archer, Monk. Lucan is."

"She volunteered for the Deliverance fight, so he is her Archer until that's over. She comes with me."

Ashur looks down at me. "You're still going through with this fight, Junco?"

I lift my eyebrows and nod. "Yup. Still going through with it."

Monk smiles. "Well, good. Let's go. The fight is day after tomorrow so you'll want to get settled." He takes me by the arm and leads me towards the door.

"Junco?" I turn at Ashur's call and wait. "Good luck."

I sigh. "Thank you." And then we walk through the door and down the hallway.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

The ride over to Justice is just as silent as the ride over to the lab was. Monk tries, I'll give him that, but I'm not interested so I just ignore him completely. I don't need any more confusing relationships.

When we get off the inter-world transport he leads me through a series of hallways, only this time we end up in Rache's outer offices, and not the courtroom. Monk points to a straight-backed chair and I take a seat as he disappears through a large door.