Flawlessly Executed (Dark Horse Guardians Book 3) (24 page)

Ben couldn’t seem to speak. He was grasping the door of the vehicle as if he couldn’t stand, “… Jake. He’s dead. He took his life. Lara, he killed himself.”

She couldn’t believe she heard him correctly. “Oh God, Ben, no!”

Lara ran to him and held him. His body tensed and she felt the overwhelming grief that had just hit her husband like a bolt of lightning. She focused on getting him into the house. She tapped the code to open the door and Einstein was all over Ben.

She watched as Ben sat on the kitchen floor unresponsive as Einstein kissed his face. Ben’s blue eyes were vacant. She didn’t like that look. Lara knew she was helpless and couldn’t get through to him no matter what she said when he got that look in his eyes.

Finally, he glanced up at her, “I’ve got to go, Lara. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go to Manchester New Hampshire and find out what happened. I was just with Jake for the past few weeks. He told me Wendy left him. I hooked him up with a counselor and checked. He went to a few sessions. But he’d started drinking again. Damn it, Lara! Why didn’t I see this coming? I’ve got to go.”

He scrambled off the floor, grabbed his gear and tossed it into his rental car. Before leaving, he held Lara for a long time. His lips were on hers and his kiss was filled with a longing, but not for passion. There was something else in that kiss that frightened her.

“I’m going with you.” Lara declared.

“Okay, but it isn’t going to be comfortable. I’m losing it.” Ben responded.

~ Ben ~

The drive to Manchester New Hampshire was an hour of silence. While behind the wheel, he wiped the tears that clouded his vision with the back of his hand. Lara did not speak. It was nighttime and Thanksgiving. Thank God, the traffic was light. When they arrived at Jake and Wendy’s house, there were six vehicles in the driveway. Ben steeled himself before going inside. Lara trailed after him.

Tom Wilson, Jake’s half-brother, was the first person he saw and the two embraced. He had just left Tom in Israel celebrating the end of a successful mission. Tom was visibly shaken, and Ben didn’t know what to say.

“The state coroner came and took him away.” Tom’s voice was muted, “He put a bullet clean through his head.” Tom choked on his words. And Ben wanted to do anything he could to help.

His rational thinking took over. “How far is the coroner’s from here? I want to go there.” Tom said Ben could follow him. Lara brought Ben in the Mercedes and they followed Tom for several miles. The building was something from World War II, it was an old armory at one time now converted to a state coroner’s office. The lights were on inside and Ben rang the buzzer. The coroner came to the door. “Can I help you?”

Ben explained he wanted to see Jake Wilson. The coroner opened the door and let Tom, Ben and Lara inside. “It was definitely a suicide,” the official stated bluntly. Ben walked into the office and the official photos of Jake were laid upon the desk.

“Do you mind if I take a look at these?” Ben asked.

“Go ahead.” the coroner replied.

Staring at the photos, Ben studied Jake’s form lying on the bedroom floor with a pool of blood near his head. He noticed the blood spatter covered the bed and wall. A photograph showed the bullet lodged in the wall. Ben felt as if his heart was being ripped from his chest.

The coroner allowed Ben a few moments with Jake’s lifeless body in the cool room. Ben slipped the sheet off and immediately knew Jake had used the H&K MK23 from the mission. The bullet was a clear shot through his brain. The special .45 high-pressure match cartridge had incredible velocity. The bullet had lodged in the wall. He flawlessly executed himself.

Overcome with frustration, anger, and sadness, Ben couldn’t stop himself, “Damn it, Jake. Damn you, son-of-a-bitch.
Why?
Why didn’t you come to me? Oh God.” His voice trailed off and broke. He couldn’t stop the tears welling up and hated himself for crying now at this moment. He chastised himself for not paying closer attention to his best friend.
What was he thinking
? Jake’s wife had left him, he’d been drinking; he was depressed. Jake was at the end of his rope. All of the signs were right before Ben’s eyes but he was too blind or too stupid to put the pieces together. And, now it was too late.

Once able to speak, he thanked the coroner and rode back to Jake’s house. Wendy was sobbing quietly in the kitchen. Jake’s parents were there. He went to Wendy and embraced her without speaking.

Tom’s eyes were red from crying, “Hey, I didn’t see this coming either, man.”

Ben moved from Wendy and wrapped his arms around Tom, “What the hell are we going to do, man?” Tom sobbed in Ben’s arms for a moment.

Wendy made a pot of coffee and Ben was drawn to her.

“What happened to you guys?” Ben asked her pointedly, tears welling again.

“Jake was depressed. I left him. I wanted a baby. He didn’t.” Wendy spoke between sobs. “I took off with another guy. And, I just found out I’m pregnant. Oh, Ben, I’m sorry…” She was wailing and Ben held her tightly.

The next sentence she uttered shocked him, “I’m pregnant but with
Jake’s baby
.”

Ben held her face in his hands, “You’re pregnant? It’s Jake’s baby? Why didn’t you tell him?”

The next words she spoke shocked him more. Wendy could barely speak, “I came here to tell him today, but he was….gone. I found him like that. Oh Ben, what am I going to do? I can’t live with myself.”

Ben held her as she heaved and choked. He was crying, too. What could be more tragic? Wendy wanted a child and she left Jake thinking another man would give her what she wanted. The irony was, she had Jake’s baby living inside her. The affair pushed Jake over the edge.

Ben knew she’d never forgive herself. Ben felt he could never forgive himself either. He whispered, “Wendy, you can’t blame yourself for this. Jake was a good man. You need to have his child and honor him in every possible way.
Jake was a good man
.”

~ Lara ~

Lara made herself busy with the coffee and hugged Tom, then Wendy, then Jake’s parents. There were no words. She was shocked that this happened, but once the reality set in she realized she’d be attending yet another funeral. Walking into that coroner’s room with Ben brought everything back to her. She was grief-stricken but had to remain calm in the wake of this tragedy for Ben.
He was falling apart
. She was sure it was exhaustion and he’d be better tomorrow. He needed her and she had to be strong for him.

Lara knew it was imperative to get Ben out of Jake’s house and to drive back home. She managed to get Ben’s attention and took the keys to the vehicle out of his pocket. “We need to go.” She whispered in his ear. Without looking back, Ben got into the passenger seat and Lara drove home. It was shortly after midnight when she pulled into the driveway at Clearwater Farm.

Ben was asleep in the car. She woke him and led him into the house. It was all she could do to get him to the bedroom. It was as if Ben had become a zombie and he could not speak. Lara understood. She had just gone through a number of days like that herself, alone. She removed his clothes and shoved him gently into the bed. Climbing in beneath the covers she curled up against his back and wrapped her arms around him. He was snoring and she placed her cheek against his back and listened to his heartbeat and silently wept.

~ Ben ~

He had no idea what time it was when he woke, but knew it was late morning. Lara was already up. He sat on the edge of the bed holding his head in his hands.
Jake
. He would never see Jake again in this life. His head was throbbing and he felt dehydrated. In the master bathroom he splashed hot water on his face and brushed his teeth. Where was Lara?

As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he saw her sitting at the breakfast nook. On the table was a bowl of cereal and the book of sonnets. Her green eyes lit up and she dropped everything and ran to him.

“Oh, Ben.” She whispered and embraced him tightly, as if she might not let him go. The events of the last forty-eight hours were a blur, but he sharply remembered Jake’s body in the coroner’s building and the pain in his heart was raw.

“I’m sorry, darlin.” It’s all he could say to Lara at the moment. He was sorry for everything that had happened. Hawk’s death, Jake’s suicide, his crazy mission that took him away from
her
the only person in the world he loved more than anything.

Many thoughts were swimming in his mind as he planned to attend Hawk’s funeral service that day. Lara thought it fitting to distribute Hawk’s ashes in the ocean at Clearwater Farm and she put river rocks engraved with his name into the garden he had so thoughtfully designed. Although simple, it was a fitting tribute for a man who lived a life of minimalism.

Lara had invited Rusty, her mother, Bettencourt, Monique, Finn and Marcella. Finn had sent a notice to the employees at the architectural firm. Ben had spoken to Father Garrett at a nearby Catholic church that Hawk had recently attended. He said he would be there early to comfort the mourners. The caterer arrived and set up tables of food on the porch.

Ben showered and shaved and slipped into a navy blue suit, the one he always wore for civilian funerals. As he dressed he surmised he had attended way too many of these services in his lifetime. Hawk had earned Ben’s deepest respect and dignity. He was a warrior of another kind. He had fought and won his own personal battle and saved Lara’s life. In Ben’s eyes, he was a hero and deserved the highest regard.

The service was to be at Noon, but prior to 11:00 AM the driveway at Clearwater Farm was filled with vehicles. Stone and Associates shut down and the entire group of employees came to honor Hawk. Father Garrett read a moving eulogy mostly written by Lara. Ben had the honor of rowing the dinghy out to place Hawk’s ashes into the ocean. There was a finality to it as Ben tenderly let the ashes slip beneath the deep blue water of Casco Bay.

The ceremony was beautiful and the entire group stayed for two hours eating, drinking and speaking warmly of Hawk. After listening to the stories, Ben wondered why he hadn’t gotten to know him better. From what he heard, he was a great guy. For the first time he completely understood Lara’s attraction to Hawk. It was his kindness and compassion that drew her to him, and his quiet unassuming manner.

~ Lara ~

Lara never thought she could make it through this day without crying, but she only got teary twice. The tribute to Hawk was beautiful and she was so proud that Ben volunteered to place Hawk’s ashes in the ocean. He looked incredibly handsome in his Navy blue suit and she suspected he had performed this duty before.

She was shocked the entire firm showed up for the ceremony. Each person had some interaction with Hawk and he left a lasting impression upon them. She would miss Hawk terribly. She was just getting to the point of coping with Eliot’s death, but the comparison between the two men was stark. She liked Eliot, but she loved Hawk. He was her Jiminy Cricket, her always present confidante sitting on her shoulder listening to her deepest thoughts and whispering in her ear.

~ Ben ~

Once the crowd disbursed, Ben was alone with his thoughts and with Lara. Although he sensed her melancholy, he also saw a sense of satisfaction in her. He was proud that she pushed through the grief and managed to pull off a beautiful tribute to Hawk. It was so like Lara to shove her own feelings aside; today it was all about Hawk.

“Everything okay?” He wrapped his strong arms around her.

“Yes, Lieutenant.” She smiled for the first time in days. It was a genuine smile and her eyes lit up when she gazed at him. A glimmer of hope shot though his core. My wife is back from the depths of grief.

She tilted her head and her lips brushed his gently. He still had the suit on and wanted nothing more than to change and comfort Lara. He wanted to hold her and make all of the pain dissipate. She seemed to read his thoughts.

“You’re awfully handsome in that suit, Lieutenant, but I’d like to see you out of it.” She whispered and a wicked smile played on her lips.

He kissed her, taking advantage of the moment. He had been longing for this. He needed his fix, the intimate delicious treat that was Lara. His breathing became irregular and he couldn’t prevent the reaction taking place in his body. Standing in the kitchen, she unbuttoned his jacket slowly and slipped it off him. She hung it on the back of the kitchen chair.

Ben waited patiently, knowing what would come next. He was mesmerized as he watched his beautiful wife unbutton his white shirt and a shiver ran through him as she laid her cheek against his chest. Her lips touched him like a whisper. He brushed a gentle kiss across her forehead.

“Oh Ben, I can’t stop myself.” She murmured, “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“Don’t stop.” Ben whispered closing his eyes, willing her to continue as he moved his hands over her feminine form, stopping at her rear, pulling her sharply into him.

His shirt was on the chair and she was working on his belt. It was all he could do not to pick Lara up and carry her into the bedroom. His breathing was shallow and he knew he couldn’t control himself much longer. It had been weeks since he’d touched her.

Her hands were fumbling with his zipper and her lips were warm and moist on his mouth. He felt his pants fall down to his knees, then his ankles.
That was it.
Something inside him snapped. He kicked the pants away. Aroused and unable to stand there any longer, the prolonged anticipation was almost unbearable. He swept Lara into his arms and carried her down the hallway to the bedroom.

“I’ll do whatever you want, as slowly as you want. But I can’t stand in that kitchen wearing nothing but shoes,” Ben said as he walked to the bedroom. He loved sex in the afternoon more than she could imagine. He hungered for the feeling of his mouth on hers.

Lara giggled and Ben sensed he was doing exactly what she wanted. He placed her shapely form on the bed and removed the black shirt clinging to her. That was the easy part; he pulled the stretchy fabric over her head revealing her perfect breasts. Hunger for Lara overwhelmed him. His lips were on her mouth, her neck, then her breasts and he felt her quiver and arch her back, yearning for him to continue.

Tugging off the long skirt was a chore but a delightful one because her panties came off with it. Ben gazed at Lara soaking in all of her beauty, rarely on display. She pulled him down and he was kissing her again. Her lips parted and he tasted the lemon cake she had just eaten. His hands ran over her smooth skin and he cupped her perfect bottom. Her hands were on his bottom and she was urging him on whispering his name over and over.

For what seemed like an hour, Ben made love to Lara. It was different from the frantic ardor he usually fell into. This was a slow, sensual pleasure that built to a fever pitch. The light from the bedroom window illuminated her features and her hair tumbled around her. She was breathing heavily, sweating, making sounds that only served to increase his passion. With his hands beneath her, he pulled her perfect bottom toward him and finally allowed himself to experience the ultimate pleasure.

Falling onto the bed next to her, Ben wrapped her in the blanket. He kissed her forehead and her nose and then her lips.

Still gasping for breath, Ben whispered, “You surprised me, darlin’ but I love it when you do.”

Lara’s eyes were closed and she was catching her breath. “You’re perfect, Ben. And you’re mine. We’re alive and need to seize every moment of happiness that we can.”

Her words made him realize this was Lara’s escape from the heartache and death she had been living with for the past few months. She wanted to live her life and this expression of love was evidence of her physical existence, especially on this day. He knew it might only be temporary. For there was another funeral to attend, that of Jake Wilson’s. But at that moment he felt so thankful for what he had with Lara he felt his heart might burst. It was enduring love.

~ Lara ~

She fell asleep for an hour after making love with Ben. He wore her out in a good way. She smiled for the first time in days. As much as she had thought about death the past week, Lara realized it was time to grab onto life with both hands. And, she swore she would take the initiative with Ben more often. Not just for the sensual satisfaction that he offered, but when he loved her like that she felt as if he was closer to her in mind and spirit. The act of making love solidified her connection with Ben putting her relationship with him above everything else in her life. Some women would probably laugh at that statement. And, there was a time when Lara would have laughed right along with them. However, since Ben, her life had changed for the better.

Was it wise to put all of your hopes and dreams ~ your whole life ~ into a relationship with a man? Ben was, in reality, just a man, although an honorable one who captured her heart. She wanted her beautiful relationship with Ben to stay the same forever. Were her expectations childish? Unrealistic? Only time would tell. But this much she knew: she loved him more than anyone in her entire life. And, when he went away, she felt as if she couldn’t breathe until he returned.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m hungry. I’ll get some stuff out of the fridge. Leftovers from the caterer.”

“No, I’ll take care of that.” Ben insisted, “You can lounge around and let me take care of you. You’ve had a very busy day.”

~ Ben ~

In the corner of the kitchen Einstein was snoring in his dog bed worn out from the events of the day. Ben’s cell phone vibrated and it was Bettencourt. “Just keeping you in the loop. Doctor Duncan Norris was found in Cancun in a parking garage. It was suicide. He sucked a tailpipe.”

Ben stood in silence for a moment. “And…what about Abby?”

Bettencourt continued, “Found her. The coroner and Cape Cod Police Department in Massachusetts are doing their thing. Someone had sex with her just before her body was dumped. They’re doing DNA testing which will take weeks. But Duncan Norris is the prime suspect.”

Ben smiled to himself, “Thanks, Bett. I’ll see you tomorrow. Stop by my office at lunch time if you can. I want to talk about Jake’s arrangements.”

Bettencourt agreed and hung up.

~ Lara ~

Lara never knew he was Catholic or how large his extended family was. Jake Wilson’s funeral took place in Manchester New Hampshire. The Holy Eucharist Church was filled with mourners, young and old, friends and neighbors, and what seemed to be hundreds of relatives. Jake’s wife and Ben had collaborated on the arrangements. There had to be a hundred SEALs there in dress blues.

Lara witnessed tradition, honor, and dignity as she stood among those crowded in the front rows. While most of the ceremonial aspects would be performed at the grave site, an honor guard made up of Ben’s Dark Horse Guardians flanked his casket draped with a pristine American Flag. Tears filled her eyes as she listened to the priest read glowing remarks about Jake Wilson. She never knew he had a Purple Heart and a Silver Star. He was a quiet unassuming type of guy. All she knew was that her husband loved him. When Ben stood up in his dress blues to give a eulogy there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Ben’s voice did not waver. He spoke with perfect precision and his Irish brogue came through. He even managed to weave in a humorous moment about Jake.

The flag-draped casket was carried to the hearse by the Dark Horse Guardians. Lara rode to the cemetery in the backseat of the vehicle with Wendy, holding her hand. Stepping out of the hearse, Lara helped bolster Wendy’s spirits and squeezed her hand as the six-man honor guard carried Jake’s casket to the grave site. The priest read a prayer. Ben and his men lifted and held the American flag taut over the casket. A seven-person SEAL group fired three volleys.

Tears slid down Lara’s cheeks as the bugler sounded Taps and she watched her husband and the others ceremonially fold the American flag tenderly. Lara noticed Ben picked up a spent shell and tucked it into the folded flag. Her heart was in her throat as Ben presented the folded flag to Wendy with a loving tribute to Jake. He spoke of his gratitude to have known such a great warrior and saluted. Each member of Ben’s team performed a specific role; every detail of the ceremony was flawlessly executed with cadence and precision. Salutes were offered in slow motion, honoring the sacrifice of a great man. Then the Navy men lined up and slapped their Tridents into the wood of Jake’s casket. With each thud, Lara felt her heart breaking, but also felt a wave of pride sweep over her. She had no idea how many times her husband had performed this exercise, but he seemed to be in a trance as he moved through the motions. He had that vacant stare in his blue eyes.

Jake and Wendy’s house was overflowing with friends and family and Navy SEALs from as far away as California. The Dark Horse Guardians changed back into street clothing for the afternoon tea. A darkening sky was threatening rain as Lara and Ben said an extended goodbye to Wendy and the remaining family members. The ride back to Portland was silent as Ben slept. She caught a few glimpses of her sleeping husband while driving. He had been through so much on his mission, then came home to her filled with despair. Then this. She sensed Ben was pushing the emotional pain aside for now. How he did it, she didn’t know, but she knew he was good at it.

~ Bettencourt ~

Riding home from Jake Wilson’s funeral, Bettencourt’s thoughts now turned to Ben and Lara. What a somber night this would be for them. He had attended funerals for fallen brothers before, but this one stayed with him. Maybe it was because Jake took his own life. Bettencourt wrestled with those same demons himself not long ago. Thank God he didn’t do it. He now had a future with Monique and couldn’t wait to propose to her.