Fine things (13 page)

Chapter 15

Bernie's parents arrived the day after Christmas vacation began, and Liz and Jane drove out to the airport to pick them up. She was five and a half months pregnant by then. And Ruth had brought everything from a layette from Bergdorfs to pamphlets about her health that she had forced Lou to bring her from the hospital. She had advice for her that dated back to her own grandmother, and after a close look at Liz' profile in the baggage claim she announced that it was a boy, which delighted everyone.

They stayed for a week, and then went to Disneyland with Jane, to leave Bernie and Liz alone for their anniversary. They celebrated three nights in a row. On their anniversary they went to L'Etoile, and came home and made love until all hours, the following night they went to a huge charity affair given at the store, and on New Year's Eve they went out with friends, and wound up in the bar at L'Etoile again. They had a wonderful few days, but when Ruth and Lou came back, Ruth told Bernie she thought Liz looked terrible. Pale and tired and worn out. And she'd been complaining of pains in her hips and back for the last month.

“Why don't you take her somewhere?”

“I guess I should.” He'd been working so hard, he hadn't really thought of it, and it was going to be difficult for him this year. The baby was due exactly when he made his usual trip to New York and Europe. He was going to have to put it off until after the baby came, and somehow he had much more to do at the store just then. “I'll see if I can.”

His mother wagged an angry finger at him. “Don't overlook your responsibilities, Bernard.”

And he laughed at her. “Whose mother are you, anyway? Hers or mine?” He felt sorry for Liz sometimes, she had absolutely no family at all, except him, and Jane, and his parents in New York. As aggravating as his mother was at times, it was still nice to know that someone gave a damn about him.

“Don't be so smart. It might do her good to get away before the baby comes.” And for once, he took his mother's advice and took Liz away to Hawaii for a few days, and this time they didn't take Jane, although she pouted at them for several weeks because of it. But he came home from the store with stacks of tropical maternity clothes for her, and the reservations already made. He faced her with a fait accompli and three days later they left. And when they returned, she was brown and healthy and relaxed, and she felt like her old self again. Or almost, except for heart-burn, insomnia, back pains, swollen legs, and increasing fatigue, all of which were normal the doctor said. The pains in her back and hips were the worst, but that was normal too.

“God, Bernie, sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be my old self again.” She had gained more than thirty pounds, and she had two months to go, but she still looked cute to him. Her face had filled out a little bit, but it didn't spoil her looks, she just looked younger than she usually did. And she always looked neat and well dressed. He thought she looked sweet that way, although he was aware that his desire for her was waning. But it didn't seem to be a time for that, although she complained sometimes. He was afraid he would hurt the child, especially if they got too enthusiastic, which they often did. And eventually, Liz didn't care about making love anyway. By the end of March she was so uncomfortable, she could barely move, and she was grateful that she didn't have to go to work anymore. She couldn't have stood another day of trying to stand on her feet, keeping the kids in line, or teaching them simple math or their ABC's.

Her class gave a baby shower for her, and everyone brought something they'd made. She had booties, sweaters, hats, an ashtray, three drawings, a cradle someone's father had built for them, and a tiny pair of wooden shoes, along with all the gifts the other teachers had given her. And of course Bernie brought home more baby clothes from the store every few days. Between what he brought home, and what his mother sent from New York, she had enough for quintuplets at least. But it was fun seeing it all, and now she could hardly wait to get it over with. She was getting nervous about the birth, and she could hardly sleep at night. Instead, she would roam the halls, sit in the living room and knit, watching late-night TV, or go and sit in the baby's room, thinking about what it would be like when the baby was born.

She was there one afternoon, waiting for Jane to come home from school, sitting in the rocking chair Bernie had painted for her only two weeks before, when the telephone rang. She thought about not answering it. But she always hated to do that when Jane was out. You never knew when something would go wrong, or they needed her, or she got hurt coming home from school, or it might have been Bernie and she loved talking to him. She pushed herself out of the chair with a groan, rubbed her back, and lumbered slowly into the living room.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon.” There was something familiar about the voice, but she wasn't sure what. It was probably someone trying to sell something to her.

“Yes?”

“How've you been?” Something about the voice gave her the creeps.

“Who's this?” She tried to sound casual, but she felt breathless as she stood there, holding the phone. There was something ominous about the voice, but she wasn't sure what.

“You don't remember me?”

“No, I don't.” She started to hang up, hoping it was just a prank, but the voice was quick to grab her back.

“Liz, wait!” It was a command, and the voice suddenly lost its fluidity It was sharp and brusque, and suddenly she knew, but it couldn't be … it only sounded like him. She stood very still holding the phone, and said nothing at all to him. “I want to talk to you.”

“I don't know who you are.”

“The hell you don't.” He laughed, and it was an evil, raucous sound. She had never liked his laugh, and now she knew exactly who it was. What she didn't know was how he had found her again, or why. And she wasn't sure she wanted to know. “Where's my kid?”

“What difference does it make?” It was Chandler Scott, the man who had fathered Jane, which was different from being a father to her. What he had done had to do with Liz, but nothing to do with the child. The man who was a father to her was Bernie Fine, and Liz wanted nothing more to do with this man. Her voice told him so when she answered him.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven't seen her in five years, Chan. She doesn't even know who you are.” Or that you're alive, but she didn't tell him that. “We don't want to see you anymore.”

“I hear you're married again.” She looked down at her belly and smiled. “I'll bet the new hubby has bucks.” It was a disgusting thing to say and it angered her.

“What difference does that make?”

“I want to know my kid's all right, that's why. In fact, I think I ought to see her. I mean, after all, she ought to know she has a real father who cares about her.”

“Really? If you were so interested in that, you should have let her know a long time ago.”

“How was I supposed to know where you were? You disappeared.”

That brought something else to mind she couldn't figure out as she listened to him, her heart pounding angrily. There was a lot she would have liked to say to him once upon a time, but now it was so long ago. Jane was seven years old. “How'd you find me now?”

“You're not too hard to find. You were listed in an old phone book. And your old landlady told me your married name. How's Jane?”

Her jaw clenched as he said her name. “Fine.”

“I thought I'd drop in to say hi one of these days.” He tried to sound casual.

“Don't waste your time. I'm not going to let you see her.” She thought he was dead, and Liz wished he were.

“You can't keep her from me, Liz.” His voice had a nasty ring to it.

“Oh no? Why not?”

“Try explaining to a judge that you're keeping a natural father from his daughter.”

“Try telling him you abandoned her six years ago. I'm sure he'll be very sympathetic to you after that.” The doorbell rang, and Liz felt her heart pound. It was Jane, and she didn't want her to hear her talking to him. “Anyway, get lost, Chan. Or to put it a little more clearly for you, go screw yourself.”

“I think you just did. I'm seeing a lawyer this afternoon.”

“What for?”

“I want to see my kid.”

The doorbell rang again and she shouted out to wait just a minute.

“Why?”

“Because it's my right.”

“And then what? You disappear for another six years? Why don't you just leave her alone?”

“If that's what you want, you'll have to talk to me.” So that was it. Another scam. He wanted money from them. She should have known.

“Where are you staying? I'll call you back.” He gave her a number in Marin, and she jotted it down.

“I want to hear from you by tonight.”

“You will.” Sonofabitch, she said through clenched teeth as she hung up and she went to the door, looking pale, and let Jane in. She had been banging her lunch box against the door and there was a big chip on the black paint and Liz yelled at her, which made her cry, and she slammed into her room, as Liz went in and sat down on the bed, close to tears herself.

“I'm sorry, sweetheart. I had a rough afternoon.”

“So did I. I lost my belt.” She was wearing a pink skirt with a white belt she loved. Bernie had brought it from the store, and she treasured it, like everything else he gave her, and most of all himself.

“Daddy'll bring you another one.”

She looked slightly mollified as she sniffed and Liz held out her arms, as Jane came to her reluctantly. It was a hard time for all of them. Liz was tired. Bernie was on edge, thinking she was going to have the baby every night when they went to bed. And Jane wasn't sure just how the newcomer would affect her life. It was natural that they were snapping at each other a little bit. And this sudden reappearance of Chandler Scott didn't help. Liz brushed the hair back from Jane's face, and gave her a plate of the cookies she'd made for her that day, and a glass of milk, and when Jane sat down at her desk to do the homework she'd been given in school, Liz went quietly back to the living room. She sat down with a sigh, and dialed Bernie's private line. He picked it up himself, but he sounded busy when he did.

“Hi, sweetheart, bad time to talk?” She was so damn tired, and she was having contractions all the time, especially when she was upset, like now, after talking to Chandler.

“No, no, it's okay.” And then suddenly he realized with a start. “Is it time?”

“No.” She laughed. She wasn't due for two more weeks. And it could be late, the doctor always reminded her.

“You okay?”

“I'm fine …more or less …” She really wanted to talk to him before he came home. She didn't want Jane to overhear her telling him about Chandler Scott. “Something very disagreeable happened today.”

“Did you get hurt?” He was beginning to sound like Grandma Ruth and Liz smiled, but not for long.

“No. I got a call from an old friend. Or an old enemy, I should say.”

He looked puzzled as he frowned. What enemies did she have? None she'd ever mentioned to him. Not that he could remember anyway. “Who was that?”

“Chandler Scott.” The name electrified them both, and there was a long silence from his end.

“Is that who I think it is? Your ex-husband, right?”

“If you can call him that. I think we lived together for a total of about four months, and legally a lot less than that.”

“Where did he come from?”

“Jail probably.”

“How the hell did he find you?”

“My old landlady. Apparently she gave him my married name and told him we were living here, and it was easy after that.”

“You'd think she'd ask before she gave the information out.”

“I guess she saw no harm in it.” She stretched uncomfortably on the couch. Everything was uncomfortable. Sitting, standing, lying down. Even breathing was difficult now, and the baby felt huge, and moved constantly.

“What did he want?”

“He claimed he wanted to see Jane.”

“Why?” Bernie sounded horrified.

“Honestly, I don't really think he does. He said he wanted to 'discuss it' with us. He said he'd go to an attorney about visiting rights unless we talked to him.”

“That sounds like blackmail to me.”

“It is. But I think we ought to talk to him. I said we'd call him back tonight. He gave me a number in Marin.”

“I'll talk to him. You stay out of it.” He looked worried as he stared at his desk. The timing was just terrible. Liz didn't need a headache like that at a time like this.

“I think we ought to talk to an attorney ourselves. Maybe he has no rights by now.”

“That's not a bad idea, Liz. I'll check it out before I come home.”

“Do you know who to call?”

“We have counsel for the store. I'll see who they suggest.” He hung up after that, and Liz went back to see if Jane had finished her math homework. She was just closing her books and she looked up at Liz expectantly.

“Is Daddy bringing me a new belt tonight?” She looked hopeful and Liz sat down with a sigh.

“Oh sweetheart … I forgot to ask …we'll ask him tonight.”

“Mommy …” She started to cry, and Liz felt like crying herself. Everything seemed so difficult suddenly. It was hard enough just moving around and putting one foot in front of the other these days, and she wanted to make things easier for Jane, not more difficult. Poor Jane was all shook up about the baby coming into her life and changing everything. She climbed onto her mother's lap, still wanting to be the baby herself, and Liz held her while she cried. It made them both feel better afterwards and they went for a long walk, and bought some magazines. Jane wanted to buy some flowers to give to Bernie when he came home, and Liz let her pick a bouquet of iris and daffodils, and they walked slowly home again.

“Do you think the baby will come soon?” She looked at her mother half hopeful and half afraid, and half wishing it would never come at all. Although the pediatrician had told Liz that Jane was a good age to deal with this sort of thing. He thought she'd adjust very quickly once the baby was born, but Liz was beginning to wonder about it.