Fine things (11 page)

“I still feel badly about leaving Jane for three weeks,” he confessed to her.

“Don't,” she said, laying her head back against him. “We have a right to it. We've hardly had any time alone.” She was right of course but he still remembered how sad Jane had looked earlier that night when she had objected to staying with Tracy.

“She's so little though …she's only five …what does she know from honeymoons?”

Liz smiled at him with a sigh. She was sorry to leave her too. She seldom had before. But this time she felt she had to for their sakes, and she had come to terms with that. She was comfortable about it now, but it pleased her that he was so concerned about how Jane felt. He was going to be a wonderful father. “You're a big softie, you know that. A giant marshmallow.” She loved that about him. He was the sweetest man in the world, and when Jane turned up in their bed again that night, he lifted her in gently so they wouldn't wake her mother up, and he cuddled her close to him. She was beginning to feel like his own child, and he was surprised himself at the love he had for her. They tiptoed out of bed the next day, brushed their teeth side by side, and made breakfast for Liz, and brought it to her on a tray with a rose in a vase that Bernie put there for her.

“Happy wedding day!” they intoned simultaneously, and she looked up with a sleepy smile.

“Happy wedding day, you guys …when did you get up?” She looked at Bernie, then at Jane, and suspected there was a conspiracy she didn't know about, but neither of them would confess and she sat up to eat the breakfast they had made.

Bernie disappeared after that, and went to his friend's to dress. The wedding was at noon, and they had plenty of time, as Liz carefully braided Jane's hair with thin white satin ribbons. She put on the beautiful white velvet dress they had chosen together at Wolffs, and Liz put a little crown of baby's breath in her hair. She wore little white socks, and brand-new black patent leather Mary Janes, and a navy blue wool coat Bernie had bought in Paris for her. She looked like a little angel as she stood at the door, waiting for Liz, who took her hand and walked outside to the waiting limousine Bernie had ordered for her. She wore a white satin Dior dress, with big bell sleeves and a skirt that stopped at her ankles, so one could see the equally exquisite Dior shoes. Everything she wore was the color of antique ivory, including the matching headpiece that held back her hair as it cascaded down her back like a young girl's. She looked incredible and Tracy looked at her with tears in her eyes.

“May you always be as happy as you are right now, Liz.” She brushed away her tears and smiled down at Jane. “Your mom sure looks good, doesn't she?”

“She does.” Jane gazed at her mother admiringly. She was the prettiest lady she had ever seen.

“And so do you.” Tracy gently touched the braids, remembering her own little girl, and they got into the car and drove to Arguello Boulevard and got out at Temple Emanuel. It was beautiful, and there was something awesome about it as they walked inside. Liz felt her breath catch and her heart pound as she squeezed Jane's hand tight, and the little girl looked up at her as they exchanged a smile. It was a big day for both of them.

Bill Robbins was waiting for her in a dark blue suit, his sober gray beard and kind eyes making him look like a church elder, and the guests were already sitting in the pews as the music began, and suddenly Liz realized what was happening. It had all been like a dream up till then, and now suddenly it was real, and as she looked down the aisle, she saw Bernie standing there, with Paul Berman next to him, and the Fines in the front pew. But it was only Bernie she saw now, bearded, handsome, dignified, waiting for her, as she walked slowly down the aisle to him, to begin her new life.

Chapter 12

The reception at the Alta Mira was a great success, and everyone seemed to have a good time as they stood on the terrace and looked at the view. It wasn't as elaborate as one of the big hotels might have been but it had more charm and Liz had always loved the quaintness of it, and Bernie agreed with her. Even his mother couldn't find fault with anything. Bernie danced with her for the first dance, and his father with Liz and then they switched, and after a little while, Paul Berman cut in on him, and Bernie danced with Tracy while Paul danced with Liz. And after that Bernie danced with Jane, who was thrilled to be included in the ritual. “So what do you think, old girl? Is everything okay?” “Yup.” She looked happier again, but he was still worried about leaving her when they went away. He was taking his brand-new parental responsibilities to heart and Liz had teased him about it again the night before. She worried about Jane too, and she had hardly ever left her in the past five years, but she knew that she'd be safe with Tracy, and they had a right to their honeymoon after all.

“I'm Jewish, what do you expect?” He had claimed finally. “Guilt is important to me.”

“Use it on something else. She'll be fine.” And after his dance with her, he led her to the buffet and helped her collect everything she wanted there, and he deposited her next to her new grandmother and went off to dance with his wife again.

“Hello.” Jane looked up at Ruth, who was staring carefully at her. “I like your hat. What kind of fur is it?” Ruth was somewhat taken aback at the question, but she thought her a pretty child, and fairly polite from what she'd seen of her so far.

“It's mink.”

“It looks nice with your dress …the dress is the same color as your eyes. Did you know that?” She was fascinated by her as she looked at every detail, and in spite of herself Ruth smiled at her.

“You have beautiful blue eyes.”

“Thank you. They're like my mom's. My father is dead, you know.” She said it matter-of-factly, with her mouth half full of roast beef, and suddenly Ruth felt sorry for her. It couldn't have been an easy life for Liz or the girl before Bernie came along. She saw Bernie in the light of a savior now, but so did Liz, so there was no harm in that. Neither Liz nor Jane would have disagreed with her. Only Bernie might.

“I'm sorry to hear about your dad.” She didn't know what else to say.

“Me too. But I have a new daddy now.” She looked proudly at Bernard, and Ruth's eyes filled with tears. And then Jane looked unexpectedly at Ruth. “You're the only grandmother I have, you know.”

“Oh.” She was embarrassed for the child to see her cry. And she reached out and touched her little hand. “That's very nice. You're my only grandchild too.” Jane smiled up at her adoringly and squeezed her hand.

“I'm glad you're so nice to me. I was scared before we met.” Bernie had introduced them that morning at the temple, very carefully. “I thought maybe you'd be real old, or mean or something.”

Ruth looked horrified. “Did Bernie say that to you?”

“No.” She shook her head. “He said you were wonderful.” Ruth beamed at her. The child was adorable, and she patted her hand and caught a cookie off a passing tray and handed it to her. Jane broke the cookie in two, and handed her the remaining half, which Ruth ate, still holding her hand. The two were fast friends by the time Liz went to change out of her wedding gown. And as Jane saw her mother disappear and realized what time it was, she suddenly began to cry silently, as Bernie caught a glimpse of her from across the room, and came hurrying to her side.

“What's the matter, sweetheart?” His mother had gone for a last dance with the father of the groom. Bernie bent and put an arm around her.

“I don't want you and Mommy to go.” Her voice was a tiny wail, and he felt his heart breaking in half.

“We won't be gone that long.” But three weeks seemed an eternity to her, and he wasn't sure he disagreed with her. It seemed like a hell of a long time to leave her with someone else, and as Tracy approached, Jane only cried more, and a moment later Ruth had returned, and Jane clung to her as though she'd always known her.

“Good lord, what's happening?” Bernie explained and Ruth looked sorry for her. “Why don't you take her along?” She whispered to her son.

“I'm not sure Liz would think that's such a great idea…. It is our honeymoon. …”

His mother looked at him reproachfully and then down at the crying child. “Could you forgive yourself for that? Could you really have a good time thinking about her?” He grinned at her.

“I love you, Mom.” Guilt did it every time. And a moment later he went to find Liz and told her what he thought.

“You can't take her with us. We don't have anything packed, we don't even have a room for her at the hotel.”

“So we'll get one…. We'll stay somewhere else if we have to. …”

“What if we can't get another room?”

“Then she'll sleep with us.” He grinned. “And we'll take another honeymoon.”

“Bernard Fine …what's happened to you?” But she was smiling at him, grateful to have found a man who loved her child so much. She had had qualms about leaving her anyway, and in some ways this was easier. “Okay. Now what? Do we run home and pack?”

“As fast as we can.” He glanced at his watch, and then ran out to the reception again, kissed his mother hastily, shook hands with Paul Berman, and his father, and swept Jane into his arms as Liz appeared and the rice began to fly. Jane looked frightened suddenly, as though she didn't understand and thought he was saying goodbye, but he tightened his arms around her and whispered in her ear. “You're coming with us. Just close your eyes so you don't get rice in them.” She squeezed them tightly shut and grinned happily as he held her in one powerful arm, and grabbed Liz' hand with his free hand, and they raced for the door as rose petals and rice flew, and a moment later they were in the limousine, speeding back to San Francisco.

It took them ten minutes to pack Jane's things, including all the bathing suits he'd bought her the summer before, and they made the plane on time. There was one seat left in first class, and he bought it for Jane, hoping they would be as lucky at the hotel, and Jane grinned at them as she boarded the plane. Sweet victory! She was going with them. She bounced happily on Bernie's lap, and then slept peacefully in her mother's arms as they flew west. They had all gotten married. And Bernie leaned over and kissed Liz gently on the lips as the lights in the plane went down so the movie could come on.

“I love you, Mrs. Fine.”

“I love you,” she mouthed so as not to wake the sleeping child. And she nestled her head gently against his and dozed until they reached Hawaii. They spent the night in Waikiki and the next day flew on to Kona on the island of Hawaii. They had reservations at the Mauna Kea Resort Hotel, and the gods were smiling on them. They were able to get one room adjoining theirs by turning in the suite Bernie had reserved for them, but at least they didn't have to share a room with the child, not that it mattered in the end. There was a monster under her bed at Mauna Kea too, and she spent most nights sleeping between them in the big bed, as the sun came up over the palm trees. It was a honeymoon they shared, all three of them, and a story Bernie knew they would tell for years as he grinned sheepishly over her head at Liz at night, and sometimes they just lay in bed and laughed at how funny it was.

“Paris, in the spring, I swear!” He held up a hand like a good boy scout and she laughed at him.

“Until she cries again.”

“No, this time, I promise … no guilt!”

“Ha!” But she didn't mind. She was glad. She leaned over Jane's sleeping form and kissed him again. This was their life after all, and they shared it with Jane. It was a heavenly three weeks and the three of them returned from “their” honeymoon brown and happy and relaxed and Jane bragged to everyone that she had gone on her Mommy's honeymoon. It was a memory the three of them would cherish forever.

Chapter 13

The months after Hawaii seemed to fly, and they were busy all the time. Bernie was scheduling all the summer and fall shows for the store, planning for new merchandise, having meetings with people from New York. Liz was busy with the house, and she always seemed to be cooking, baking, or sewing for him. There was absolutely nothing the woman didn't do. She also entertained for him, and did everything herself. She even grew roses in the little garden on Buchanan Street, and she and Jane had a vegetable garden on the deck which Tracy had helped them start. Life seemed very full these days, and April came along almost immediately. It was time for him to go to New York on a trip for the store, and then on to Europe as he did every year at that time. Liz had never been to New York or Europe before and he could hardly wait to take her. In some ways, he was tempted to take Jane too, but he had promised Liz this would be their real honeymoon, and an excellent solution had come along. He had planned the trip so that Liz would be on vacation from school for two weeks, and Jane was, too, of course, so they were taking her to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Fine, and she was so excited about that, she hardly seemed to mind that she wasn't going to Europe with them.

“And …” she announced on the plane, “we're going to Radio City Music Hall!” It was to be a triumphant tour. The Museum of Natural History to see the dinosaurs, which she was studying in school, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty. She could hardly wait, and neither could Ruth, from what Bernie could gather on the phone. Their phone calls were much easier these days. Liz was constantly calling Ruth just to say hello and give her the news, which took the pressure off him, and all his mother wanted to do was talk to Jane anyway. It was amazing that she liked the child so much, but Jane doted on her. She loved the idea of having a grandmother now, and she had asked Bernie very solemnly one day if she could use his name in school.

“Of course.” He had been stunned when she asked, but she had been serious. And she had become Jane Fine officially in school the next day. She had come home beaming at him. “Now I'm married to you too,” she said. But Liz seemed pleased as well, and she was relieved to know that Jane would be in good hands while they were away. Tracy would have been her first choice at home, but she and Jane didn't always get along these days. Jane was becoming more sophisticated than their old friend, which made Tracy laugh. She was relaxed about it, and happy that the threesome were as happy as they obviously were.

And in New York, “Grandma Ruth” was waiting for the plane at Kennedy.

“How's my little sweetheart?” For the first time in his life, Bernie felt no one hanging on his neck with those words and for a moment it felt strange to him, and then he watched Jane fly into his mother's arms and it brought tears to his eyes as he shook his father's hand and Liz kissed them hello, and then he gave his mother a hug, and Liz kissed her too, and the five of them went home to Scarsdale chattering and talking all at once. It was as though suddenly they had become a family instead of enemies, and he realized that Liz had done that for them. She had a remarkable way of touching everyone, and he saw her smiling at his mother in the car as the two women exchanged a knowing look about something Jane had said, and then they smiled. It was a relief to know that his parents had accepted her. He had been afraid they never would, but he hadn't realized the impact that being grandparents would have on them.

“And now my name is just like yours,” she announced proudly in the car, and then got serious. “It's a lot easier to spell. I never could spell the other one.” She grinned toothlessly. She had just lost her first tooth that week, and told her grandmother how much the tooth fairy had brought.

“Fifty cents?” Ruth was clearly impressed. “It used to be only ten cents.”

“That was in the olden days,” Jane said with disgust, and then kissing her grandmother's cheek, she whispered to her. “I'll buy you an ice cream cone, Grandma.” As her heart melted in the child's small hands.

“We're going to do a lot of fun things while your mommy and daddy are away.” She called him Daddy now too, and he had asked Liz once if he should adopt her formally.

“You could,” she had replied. “Officially, her father has abandoned us, so we can do anything we want. But I don't see why you have to go to all that trouble, sweetheart. If she uses your name, it becomes legal by usage over the years, and she decided to call you Daddy all by herself anyway.” He had agreed with her. It didn't seem appropriate somehow to drag Jane through court unnecessarily.

It was the first time in years he had stayed at his parents' house, and he was surprised at how pleasant it was with Liz and Jane there with him. Liz helped his mother cook dinner, and then clean up afterwards. Their maid was sick, which was the only dismal bulletin she gave that night. But since all Hattie had were bunions she'd had operated on, even that wasn't up to her usual gruesome standards of strokes and heart attacks. And everyone was in a good mood. The only problem was that he felt desperately uncomfortable when Liz wanted to make love to him that night.

“What if my mother comes in?” he whispered in the dark and she giggled naughtily.

“I could climb out the window and wait on the lawn until the coast is clear.”

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart …” He rolled over and slid a hand into the satin nightgown she wore, and they giggled and wrestled and kissed and made love, whispering, feeling like wicked kids, and afterwards as they talked in the dark, he told her what a change she had brought to his entire family. “You can't imagine what my mother was like before you came along. I swear, sometimes I hated her.” It seemed a sacrilege to say it under her own roof, but sometimes it was true.

“I think Jane is the one who cast the spell.”

“I think it's both of you.” And as he looked at her in the moonlight, his heart was full. “You're the most remarkable woman I've ever met.”

“Better than Isabelle?” she teased, and he tweaked her boob.

“At least you haven't taken my best watch …only my heart. …”

“That's all?” She pouted prettily, which made him want her again as he slipped a hand between her thighs. “I had something else in mind, monsieur.” She put on an accent for him and he attacked her again, and they both felt as though the honeymoon had begun, and Jane didn't come in to sleep with them that night, which was just as well, because Liz' nightgown seemed to have disappeared somewhere underneath the bed, and Bernie had forgotten to bring pajamas with him.

But they looked very respectable at breakfast the next day in their dressing gowns, and his mother made an announcement as she and Jane made orange juice. “We won't have time to take you to the airport today.” They exchanged a meaningful look, and Jane didn't look upset at all. “We are going to Radio City Music Hall. We already have the tickets.”

“And it's the first day of the Easter Show!” Jane was so excited she could hardly control herself, and Bernie smiled as he glanced at Liz. His mother was a smart one. She had set it up so Jane wouldn't have to go to the airport with them, and cry when they left. It was perfect, and instead they waved goodbye to her as she and Grandma got on the train, which was an excitement in itself, and Grampa was going to pick them up at the Plaza Hotel! “Imagine that!” Jane had said. “And we're going to ride in a hansom cab, that's a carriage with a horse! Right into Central Park …” There had been just a moment when they hugged her goodbye that her lip had trembled just a little bit, but a moment later she was gone, and chatting happily with Ruth as Bernie and Liz went back to the house and made love again. They carefully locked the door when they left, and a cab took them to the airport, and the honeymoon began.

“Ready for Paris, Madame Fine?”

“Out, monsieur.”
She giggled and they both laughed. She still hadn't seen New York. But they had decided to spend three days in New York on the way back. It was easier for Jane this way, to get the hard part over with, with them gone, and then they could spend time with her in New York on the way home. And it worked better for his meetings anyway.

They flew to Paris on Air France, and landed in Orly bright and early the next day. It was eight o'clock in the morning local time, and they arrived at the Ritz two hours after that, after finding their bags, going through Customs and then getting into town. Wolffs had arranged for a limousine for him, and Liz was awestruck at the hotel. She had never seen anything as beautiful as the lobby of the Ritz, with elegant women, and well-dressed men, and porters walking poodles and Pekingese, and the shops on the Faubourg St.-Honore were even more wonderful than she'd imagined. It was all like something in a dream, and he took her everywhere. Fouquet's, Maxim's, the Tour d'Argent, the top of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe, the Bateaux-Mouche, the Galeries Lafayette, the Louvre, the Jeu de Paume, even the Rodin Museum. The week they spent in Paris was the happiest of her life and she never wanted it to end, as they flew on to Rome and Milan for the fashion shows he had to see for the store. He was still in charge of determining all of Wolffs important import lines, and it was an awesome job selecting them. She was impressed at the work he did and she went everywhere with him, taking notes for him, trying on clothes for him once or twice, to see how they moved on an “ordinary mortal” and not someone who was trained to show them off. She told him how they felt, if they were comfortable, how she thought they could be improved, and she was learning a lot about his business as they went from place to place. He also noticed the shows' effect on her. She was suddenly much more aware of fashion, and much more chic. She looked suddenly sleeker and she was more careful about selecting her accessories. She had had a natural flair when they met, and with greater resources she had quickly shown how well dressed she could be. But she wasn't just chic now, she was striking suddenly. And she was happier than she'd ever been, traveling at his side, working with him every day, going back to their hotel room to make love in the afternoon and then stay out half the night, strolling on the Via Veneto or tossing coins into the Fontana di Trevi with him.

“What are you wishing for, little love?” He had never loved her more than he did right then.

“You'll see.” She smiled up at him.

“Will I? How?” But he thought he knew. He wanted the same thing, and they were trying. “Will your wish make you big and fat?” He loved the thought of her that way, carrying his child, but they hadn't been trying for very long, and she smiled at him.

“If I tell you what I wished, it won't come true.” She wagged a finger at him, and they went back to the Excelsior and made love again. It was a lovely thought, thinking of a baby conceived on this second honeymoon of theirs. But when they got to London for the last two days of the trip, it was obvious that that was not the case and she was so disappointed she cried when she told him the news.

“Never mind.” He put an arm around her and held her close. “We'll try again.” They did an hour later, knowing it would do them no good, in terms of conceiving a child, but they had fun anyway. And it was obvious how happy they were, when they flew back to New York, after the best two weeks they'd ever shared. And it was obvious they weren't the only ones who'd had a good time. It took Jane two hours to tell them everything she'd done while they were gone. And it looked as though Grandma Ruth had bought out Schwarz for her.

“It's going to take a truck to take all this stuff home.” Bernie stared at the dolls, the toys, a life-sized dog, a tiny horse, a doll house, and a miniature stove. Ruth looked faintly embarrassed and then stuck out her chin.

“She had nothing to play with here. All I have are your old trucks and cars,” she said almost accusingly. And she'd loved buying all the new toys.

“Oh.” Bernie grinned, and handed his mother the box from Bulgari. He had bought her a beautiful pair of earrings made from old gold coins, surrounded by tiny diamonds in a hexagonal shape. He had bought similar ones for Liz and she was crazy about them. And so was Ruth. She clipped them on instantly and hugged them both, and then ran to show Lou, as Liz held Jane close to her. She had missed her terribly, but the trip to Europe had been so wonderful. And it had done them good to be alone together.

The days they spent together in New York were almost as good. Dinners at Cote Basque and “21” and Grenouille, his three favorite restaurants, and he shared their specialties with her. They had drinks at the Oak Room in the Plaza Hotel, and the Sherry Netherland, went to listen to Bobby Short play at the Carlyle at night and she fell in love with him. She shopped at Bergdorfs, Saks, Bendel's and the legendary Bloomingdale's, but she insisted she still preferred Wolffs, and Bernie took her everywhere with him. She stood giggling with him one day at the bar at P. J. Clark's, watching all the characters come in.

“I'm having such a good time with you. Do you know that? You make my life so much fun, Bernie. I never knew it could be like this. I was so busy just surviving before, it seems incredible. It was all so small and intense, and now everything is so lavish. It's like a giant painting …like the Chagall murals at Lincoln Center.” He had taken her there too. “It's all reds and greens and sunny yellows and bright blues now …and before it was all kind of gray and white.” She looked up at him adoringly and he bent to kiss her again, tasting the Pimm's cup on her lips.

“I love you, Liz.”

“I love you too.” She whispered and then hiccuped so loudly the man in front of them turned around to look at her and she looked at Bernie again. “What did you say your name was?”

“George. George Murphy. I'm married and I have seven children in the Bronx. Want to go to a hotel with me?”

The man next to them at the bar stared in fascination. The place was full of men looking for a quick lay, but most of them didn't talk about their wives and kids.

“Why don't we go home and make another one?” She suggested brightly.

“Great idea.”

He hailed a cab on Third Avenue that took them to Scarsdale by the quickest route, and they got home before his mother came home with Jane. His father was still at the hospital. It was nice being home alone with her. It was nice being anywhere with her, especially in bed, he decided as they slipped between cool sheets. He hated to get up again when his mother and Jane got home. And he hated even more leaving New York and going back to California again. But he had spoken to Paul about it again, to no avail.