Fine things (12 page)

“Come on, Paul. I've been there a year. Fourteen months in fact.”

“But the store's only been open for ten. And what's your hurry now? You have a lovely wife, a nice house, San Francisco is a good place for Jane.”

“We want to put her in school here.” But they wouldn't take her application, they'd discovered, unless it was definite that they were coming back. “We can't just hang in limbo out there for years.”

“Not years …but let's say just one more. There's just no one else as competent for the job.”

“All right.” He sighed. “But then, that's it. Is that a deal?”

“All right, all right …you'd think we'd left you in Armpit, West Virginia, for chrissake. San Francisco is hardly a hardship post.”

“I know. But this is where I belong, and you know it too.”

“I can't deny that, Bernard. But we need you out there right now too. We'll do our best to bring you back in a year.”

“I'm counting on it.”

He hated leaving New York when they did, but he admitted that getting back to San Francisco wasn't so terrible. Their little house was nicer than he remembered it, and the store looked good to him on his first day back. Not as good as the New York store did, but good just the same. The only thing he hated about being back was not being with Liz all day long, and he turned up in the cafeteria at her school at lunchtime their first day back to share a sandwich with her. He looked very citified and grown-up and elegant in a dark gray English suit, and she was wearing a plaid skirt and a red sweater they had bought together at Trois Quartiers, with shoes she'd bought in Italy, and she looked very pretty and young to him, and Jane was very proud to see him there.

“That's my daddy over there, with my mom.” She pointed him out to several friends and then went to stand next to him, to show that he belonged to her.

“Hi there, short stuff,” he said, tossing her up in the air, and then doing the same to three of her friends. He was a big hit in the cafeteria, and Tracy came over to say hello to him. She gave him a big hug and announced that her daughter was pregnant again. And he saw the hungry look in Liz' eyes and squeezed her hand. She was beginning to worry that something was wrong with her, and he had suggested that maybe it was he, since she had had a child before. And they had finally both decided to relax about it for a while, and they were trying to, but it still came to mind a lot. They both desperately wanted a baby.

And in June he had a surprise for her. He had rented a house in Stinson Beach for two months, and she was thrilled. It was the perfect place for them. A bedroom for them, one for Jane, a guest room for friends, a huge spacious living room with a dining area, a sunny kitchen, and a sheltered deck where they could even sunbathe nude if they wanted to, not that they would have if Jane were at home. It was perfect for them, and Liz couldn't have been happier. They decided to move there for the two months, and he would commute every day. But they had scarcely been there for two weeks, when Liz came down with the flu, and it took her weeks to get over it. He mentioned it to his father when he called, and Lou thought it was probably her sinuses and she should see someone about starting antibiotics right away. Her head felt heavy all the time and she was nauseous at the end of the day. She was exhausted and depressed and she couldn't remember ever feeling that terrible. It was a little better the second month they were there, but not much, and she hardly enjoyed the place, although Jane was having a ball with all her friends, and she ran on the beach with Bernie every night, but Liz could hardly walk down the street without feeling sick. She didn't even feel up to going into town to try on her dress for the opening of the opera. She had selected a slinky black satin Galanos that year, with one shoulder and a ruffled cape of its own, and she was shocked when she finally tried it on right after Labor Day.

“What size is this?” She was stunned. She was generally a six, but she couldn't even close the dress they had sent her. She looked amazed as the salesgirl glanced at the tag and looked up at her.

“It's an eight, Mrs. Fine.”

“How's it look?” He poked his head in the door and she glared at him.

“Terrible.” She couldn't have gained weight. She'd been sick since July. She'd finally made an appointment to see the doctor the next day. She had to start school in a week and she needed her energy back. She was even ready to take the antibiotics her father-in-law thought she should try. “They must have sent the wrong size. It has to be a four. I just don't understand it.” She had tried the sample on when she ordered it, and it had swum on her. And that had been a six, and this was larger than that was.

“Did you gain weight at the beach?” He came into the fitting room to look. And she was right. The zipper wouldn't come near to closing at her waist and down the side. There were a good three or four inches of her suntanned flesh separating it. He glanced at the fitter standing by quietly. “Can it be let out?” He knew how expensive the dress was and it was a sacrilege to alter it very much. It was better to order it in another size and let that one go, except that now they didn't have time. She'd have to wear something else to the opening if it couldn't be let out. The fitter took a look and shook her head, and then felt Liz' waist and glanced at her questioningly.

“Madame has gained weight at the beach this summer?” She was French and Bernie had brought her from New York. She had worked for Wolffs for years, and Patou before that.

“I don't know, Marguerite.” She had worked with Liz before, on her wedding dress and last year's opera gown, and other things she had bought. “I didn't think I had.” But all she'd been wearing were loose old clothes, jogging suits, sweatshirts, baggy old shirts, and she had even worn a shapeless cotton dress into the store, and suddenly she looked at Bernie and grinned at him. “Oh my God.”

“You okay?” He looked worried, but she was smiling at him. Her face had gone white, and now it was bright pink, and she started to laugh at him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him and he smiled, as the salesgirl and fitter discreetly disappeared from the fitting room. They liked working with her. She was always so pleasant to them, and they were so much in love. It was nice to be around people like them. “What's up, Liz?” He looked puzzled as he glanced at her, she was still smiling blissfully, in spite of the lost dress, or because of it.

“I don't think I'll take those antibiotics after all.”

“Why not?”

“I think he's wrong.”

“A lot you know.” He smiled at her.

“You can say that again.” She had missed all the signs. Every one of them. “I don't think this is a sinus infection after all.” She sat down on a chair and looked up at him with a broad grin and suddenly he understood. He stared at the dress and then back at her, amazed.

“Are you sure?”

“No … I didn't even think of it till just now …but I'm almost sure … I just kind of forgot while we were at the beach.” But she suddenly realized that she had skipped a period while they were there. She was four weeks late. But she'd been so sick she hadn't even noticed. And the doctor confirmed it to her the next day. She was six weeks pregnant, he said, and she rushed to the store to tell Bernie the news. She found him in his office, looking at some reports from New York and he looked up the minute she walked through the door.

“Well?” He held his breath and she grinned, pulling a bottle of champagne from behind her back.

“Congratulations, Dad.” She set the champagne down on his desk and he threw his arms around her with a whoop of glee.

“We did it! We did it! Ha ha …you're knocked up!” And she laughed and they kissed and he picked her up off her feet, as his secretary wondered what they were doing in there. They didn't come out for a long time, and when they did, Mr. Fine looked extremely pleased with himself.

Chapter 14

He went to New York alone on his usual fall business trip. He had to go to Paris after that and he thought the trip would be too much for her. He wanted her to rest, keep her feet up, eat healthy food, watch TV and relax after school, he said. And before he left, he told Jane to take care of her. She was stunned when they told her about the baby at first, but after a little bit she was pleased.

“Kind of like a big doll,” Bernie explained. And she was equally pleased that he wanted a little boy, and said she would always be his favorite little girl. She promised to take care of Liz while he was gone, and he called them from New York when he arrived. He was staying at the Regency because it was close to the store, and he had dinner with his parents the first night he was there. They met at Le Cirque, and Bernie walked in with a quiet smile, and saw them sitting at a table waiting for him.

He kissed his mother, sat down, ordered a kir, and his mother looked at him suspiciously.

“Something's wrong.”

“Not at all.”

“You got fired.”

This time he laughed at her, and ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon as his mother stared at him.

“What happened?”

“Something very nice.”

She didn't believe a word he said, and then observing him cautiously: “You're coming back to New York?”

“Not yet.” Though he wished that he would, but even that was eclipsed now. “Better than that.”

“You're moving somewhere else?” She still looked suspicious and his father was smiling. He had guessed their news and the two men exchanged a knowing look as the waiter poured the champagne, and Bernie raised his glass to them.

“To Grandma and Grampa …mazel to v.”

“So?” Ruth looked at him, confused, and then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning striking her, she fell back in her seat, staring at him with open, startled eyes. “No! Is Liz …she's …?” For once in her life she couldn't find the words, and tears sprang to her eyes as he nodded with a broad smile and touched her hand.

“We're having a baby, Mom.” He was so pleased he could hardly control himself and his father congratulated him as his mother jabbered incoherently and they sipped their champagne.

“I just can't imagine … Is everything all right? … Is she eating all right? …How does she feel? … I have to call her when we get home.” And then she suddenly thought of Jane, and looked at Bernie with worried eyes. “How is Jane taking it?”

“I think she was a little shocked at first. I don't think it dawned on her that we might do something like that to her, but we've been spending a lot of time explaining it to her, telling her how important she is to us, stuff like that, and Liz is going to get her some books to deal with whatever negative feelings she has.”

His mother scowled at him. “You're beginning to talk like one of them…. Californians don't speak English anymore. Watch out you don't become one of them and stay out there.” She had been worrying about that since he left, but now all she could think of was her grandchild on the way. “Is Liz taking vitamins?” She turned to Lou, without waiting for her son to respond. “You should talk to her when we call tonight. Explain to her what she should eat, what vitamins to take.”

“I'm sure she has an obstetrician, Ruth. He'll tell her what to do.”

“What does he know? For all you know she's going to one of those hippies in the pie plate shoes, rubbing herbs on her head and telling her to sleep naked on the beach.” She looked at her son ferociously. “You should be back here when the baby is born. He should be born in New York Hospital, safe and sound, where he belongs and your father can look into everything.”

“They have very good hospitals out there, Ruth.” The two men were smiling at her. She was beside herself. “I'm sure Bernie is keeping a good eye on everything.” And he was of course. He had already been to the doctor with her, and he liked the obstetrician she had found through a friend. They were going to do Lamaze training eventually, and Liz was determined to have the baby naturally, with Bernie helping her and holding her hand. It still made him nervous thinking about it, but he didn't want to let her down and he had every intention of being there.

“Everything's fine, Mom. I went to the doctor with her before I left. He seems very competent, and he's even from New York.” He knew that would reassure her but she wasn't listening. She was listening to something he had said first.

“What do you mean, you went to the doctor with her? You stayed in the waiting room, I hope.”

Bernie poured her another glass of champagne and smiled at her. “No. It doesn't work like that anymore. The father is part of everything.”

“You're not going to be there for the birth, are you?” She looked horrified. She thought it was a disgusting trend. They were doing it in New York too, and she couldn't think of anything worse than a man watching his wife give birth to a baby.

“I plan to be there, Mom.”

She made a face. “That's the most disgusting thing I ever heard.” She then lowered her voice conspiratorially. “You know, you'll never feel the same way about her again if you see the baby being born. Take my word for it. I've heard stories that would make you sick…. Besides”—she sat up again with a dignified sniff—“a decent woman wouldn't want you there. That's a horrible thing for a man to see.”

“Mom, it's a miracle…. There's nothing horrible or indecent about seeing your wife giving birth.” He was so proud of her, and he wanted to see their baby coming into the world, he wanted to be there to welcome him or her. They were going to see a movie of a baby being born, so they both knew what to expect. None of it seemed disgusting to him, just a little frightening sometimes. And he knew Liz was a little nervous about it too, even though she'd had one child, but that had been six years before. But it all still seemed so far away to both of them. They still had another six months to go, and they could hardly wait. And by the end of the meal Ruth had not only planned the entire layette and suggested the best nursery schools in Westchester, she was urging him to make his son go to law school when he grew up. They drank a lot of champagne and she was a little tipsy when they left, but it was the nicest dinner he had had with her in a long time, and he conveyed Liz' invitation to them. And he was just drunk enough himself that the prospect of having them stay with them didn't even frighten him.

“Liz wants you to come out for the holidays.” He looked at both of them.

“And you don't?”

“Of course I do, Mom. And she wants you to stay with us.”

“Where?”

“Jane can sleep in the baby's room.”

“Never mind. We'll stay at the Huntington like we did before. That way we won't bother you. When does she want us for?”

“Her Christmas vacation starts on December twenty-first, I think. Something like that. Why don't you come out then?”

“She won't still be working, will she, Bernard?”

He smiled at her. “I've been surrounded by stubborn women all my life. She's going to work right up until the Easter holidays, and then take a leave from school after that. Her friend Tracy will substitute for her. They already have it all worked out between them.”

“Meshuggeneh. She should be home in bed by then.”

He shrugged. “She won't, and the doctor says she can work right till the end … so will you come?”

There was a twinkle in her eyes as she smiled at him. “What do you think? You think I'm not going to come and visit my only son, in the godforsaken place he lives?”

He laughed at her. “I wouldn't exactly call it that, Mom.”

“It's not New York.” He glanced around them wistfully at the cabs flying past, the people walking by, the little shops on Madison Avenue only a few feet from them as they waited for the doorman to find them a cab. There were times when he felt his romance with New York would never end, and San Francisco still felt like an exile to him. “San Francisco's not so bad.” He was still trying to convince himself of that, in spite of how happy he was there with Liz, but he would have been happier with her in New York. His mother shrugged, and looked at him ruefully.

“Just so you come home soon. Especially now.” They were all thinking of Liz and the child she was to bear. His mother acted as though it were a gift especially for them. “Take care of yourself.” She hugged him tight as a taxi finally stopped for them, and there were tears in her eyes as she took a step back from him. “Mazel tov, to both of you.”

“Thank you, Mom.” He squeezed her hand and he and his father exchanged a warm look, and then they waved and were gone and he walked slowly back to his hotel, thinking of them, and Liz, and Jane, thinking how lucky he was …no matter where he lived. Maybe it didn't matter so much for now …San Francisco would be easier for Liz this year, better than slipping on ice, and battling the snow and the elements. It was just as well, he convinced himself…. And the next day when he left it was pouring rain. And the city still looked beautiful to him. It was blanketed in gray, and as the plane rose in the sky, he thought of his parents again. It must have been hard for them, having him so far away. He suddenly understood it differently now that he was having his own child. He would have hated his son to live so far away. And then he leaned his head back against the seat and smiled to himself, thinking of Liz and the baby they would have…. He hoped it would look like her, and he wouldn't have minded a little girl … a little girl…. He drifted off to sleep, and slept most of the way to Europe.

The week in Paris went too fast, and from there he went to Rome and Milan, as he always did. This time he went to Denmark and Berlin, as well, with a round of meetings in London before he left. It was a very successful trip and he was away for almost three weeks, and when he saw Liz again he laughed at her. Her stomach had suddenly exploded while he was gone, and she couldn't wear her clothes anymore. And when she lay in bed, she looked as though she'd swallowed a cantaloupe.

“What's that?” He grinned at her after the first time they made love again.

“I dunno.” She threw out her hands in ignorance as she lay naked on their bed, her hair in pigtails and their clothes strewn across the floor. They hadn't waited very long, and they were in a hurry before Tracy brought Jane home from an excursion they'd been on.

But when Liz got up and walked across the room, and saw Bernie watching her, she felt self-conscious suddenly, and she pulled his shirt on and covered herself. “Don't look at me …I'm so fat I hate myself.”

“Fat? Are you crazy? You've never looked better. You're gorgeous!” He came over and gently fondled her behind, and then let his hand drift over the cantaloupe with fascination.

“Any idea what it is?” He was curious.

She shrugged with a smile. “It's bigger than Jane was at this point, but that doesn't mean anything.” And then, hopefully, “Maybe it's a boy. That's what you want, isn't it?”

He cocked his head to one side, looking at her. “I don't really think I care. Just so it's okay. When do we go back to the doctor again?”

“Are you really sure you want to do that?” She looked at him worriedly and he was stunned.

“What's happened to you?” And then he understood perfectly. “Has my darling mother been talking to you?” She blushed and then shrugged again, trying to brush it off and explain it at the same time, and he held her close to him. “You're beautiful to me. And I want to share this with you …all of it…the good, the bad, the scary part, the wonder of it all. We both made this child, and now we're both going to share it as much as we can. Is that okay with you?”

She looked relieved and her eyes were bright as she looked at him. “You're sure it won't turn you off forever?” She looked so worried and he laughed, remembering their antics in bed only moments before. He waved at the bed and then kissed her tenderly.

“Did I seem turned off to you?” She giggled happily and hugged him tight.

“Okay …I'm sorry …” And with that, the doorbell rang, and they jumped back into their clothes again as quickly as they could, in time to welcome Tracy and Jane. He tossed the child into the air and showed her all the goodies he'd brought her from France, and it was hours later before Liz and Bernie were alone again.

She curled into bed next to him, and they chatted for a while, about his work, the store, the trip, and the child she was carrying. She seemed more interested in that than anything these days and he didn't mind. It was his baby too, and he was so proud of her. He pulled her into his arms, and they went to sleep, as she purred contentedly beside him.