Finding Us (12 page)

I look up at Knox with a questioning look, “What’d I miss?”

“You’ll see.”

Pony by Ginuwine
comes on as Cade stands up making his girl pout. Cade busts out the first verse while dancing around Shelly, or whatever her name is, who’s trying her damndest not to laugh. The second verse starts, Jeremy drops his phone in the sand and takes over from Cade. The chorus comes up next and Cade and Jeremy sing it together while body rolling their bodies, trying to look sexy. They are so serious and I’m in hysterics, they are no Magic Mike that’s for damn sure.

The third verse starts and I look between Cade and Jeremy, wondering who is up next. Knox begins; quiet at first, then louder. Wide eyed, I hold my hand over my mouth to hide my laughter. I can’t believe that Knox, the serious one, starts to rap along with the other two clowns. At least Knox’s voice is raspy and sexy and I’ll admit it’s making me kind of hot.

The spectacle in front of me draws in Rex and Tanner’s attention.
Come Baby Come by K7
starts and now we have our own old school rap concert. Summer flops down in Knox’s vacated spot and Rhea takes Jeremy’s which is on the other side of me. Knox and Rex start off, followed by Jeremy, and last up is Cade and Tanner.

The girls and I are pointing and laughing our asses off as they dance and move around us. At this point Summer can barely sit on the log because she’s swaying so much; clearly the alcohol is still running through her system and the tears pouring from her eyes aren’t helping either.

Rhea leans in my direction and says just loud enough for me and Summer to hear, “You wanna show these boys up?”

I look in Summer’s direction and she’s got biggest goofy smile on her face. She reaches over to Shelly and snatches the phone out of her hand. She is about to say something when Rhea pins her with a glare.

The three of us huddle together and go through Cade’s songs. As soon as Rhea sees the song she wants she points to it. It’s the one. I wink and Summer claps her hand and sways backwards on the log.
She’s such a lush.

Rhea stands as the song ends then walks over to Tanner and runs her hand up his chest and walks around him, looking him up and down as
Whatta Man by Salt-N-Pepa
bellows from Cade’s phone.

All the guys start hooting and hollering. Summer, Rhea and I start out with the chorus as the guys take their seats around the fire. Rhea starts shaking her ass right in Tanner’s face and sings about no one being perfect and about the future. Then Rhea straddles Tanner’s lap and starts grinding into him slowly while running her hands through her hair. She throws her head back and belts out, “I think I wanna have yo baby.”

Tanner’s eyes are fixed and heated while Rhea is still riding him and I’m sure he didn’t hear the part about the baby until Cade screams, “You can have my baby!” Tanner’s head whips around and scowls in Cade’s direction. Jeremy and Knox are leaning into each other, laughing.

Summer shimmies over to Rex who has his feet outstretched in front of him and his hands braced on the log next to him. Summer stands over Rex’s legs so her back is to us and shoves Rex’s face is her boobs. All the guys start groaning and turn their head, except Cade of course. She croons about him keeping her on cloud nine when she sits on his lap and runs her hands from his face down between their bodies. Rex’s face is about fifty shades of red.

Summer and Rhea suddenly stand where they are and start with the chorus while I look over to Knox and shrug.

“You next?”

I look down to my hands, suddenly feeling nervous. “You want me to be?”

He looks my body up and down, “Hell yeah.”

I smile and stand up. Rhea and Summer finish up the chorus and I look around avoiding all eyes on me. I walk around so that I’m behind Knox. I place both hands on his shoulders and bend so that my lips are near his ear. I sing, just loud enough for everyone to hear, that he gives me real loving.
In reality I’m praying he will.
I bite Knox’s ear lobe lightly and then whisper in his ear that he knocks me out with one shot and he gives me goose bumps with every touch. I stand up straight and reach down his chest as far as I can go while singing about never being disrespectful because his mom taught him that, but unexpectedly something in Knox switches and his whole body becomes tense, throwing me through a loop. Summer and Rhea pick up the chorus to finish up the song.

“Knox?” I murmur in his ear. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t answer; just gives me a slight shake of his head.

Rex is watching the whole thing uncover but doesn’t interfere. I’m at a complete loss with what happened and I start to panic. Feeling completely out of my element I decide to call it a night. I quickly grab my shoes which are next to Knox’s feet and make my way back up to the house without saying a word to anyone. About halfway to the house I look back over my shoulder and see Rex and Knox in each other’s face.

Just as my foot hits the first step I hear Knox call my name. “Jasmine, wait up.”

Knox shoves his hands in his slacks and I wait for him to explain what happened back there. “You’re going to bed?”

“Yeah, I think it’s about that time.” I stand there for another minute giving Knox another chance to explain but he looks back over to the group. I take the stairs two at a time, trying to get as far away from Knox as possible. When I realize he hasn’t followed me it makes my heart skink a little. I get to the steps that lead up to the second floor when I hear the sliding glass door bang shut. I run up the stairs not wanting to be caught. I sense that Knox is battling something internally and he isn’t sure which side he wants to claim victory.

Just as I close the bedroom door Knox opens it again.

“You don’t need to come to bed too. I’m good here.” I manage to say while the tears are at bay.

Knox ignores me as he goes into the bathroom and slams the door. I walk over to my suitcase and pull out a pair of short black shorts and a white tank top. I take a seat on the bed, waiting for Knox to emerge from the bathroom so that I can get changed and sleep the rest of this night away.

Fifteen minutes have gone by and he’s still locked in there. The water hasn’t ran, the toilet hasn’t flushed, no sounds at all can be heard.

Sighing, I climb off the bed and knock gently on the door. “Knox?”

Silence.

I give it another few moments and try again.

“Knox?”

This time there is a groan.

“Knox, open the door please.” I don’t have a clue as to what I will find but a huge part of me needs a way to fix him. While waiting for him to open the door my mind replays our little singing skit. The only thing I can come up with is the mention of his mom.

I hear the click of the door unlocking. A few seconds go by and then he opens the door slowly. I wait for him to make the first move.

A hand reaches out and roughly pulls me to his rock hard chest. I can’t exactly pin point where my relationship changed with Knox, but it has. He wraps his arms around my body and I’m cocooned in his embrace.

I feel safe, warm, protected.

Knox kisses the side of my head and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” As I say the words his body goes taut but just for a second.

He takes a deep breath and then lets it out. “You have nothing to be sorry for Jas, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

I squeeze Knox a little tighter. “I do.” I confess. “I should have remembered.”

“Remembered what?”

“About your parents.”

I feel him tense again, “You know what happened to them?”

I pull back to gaze up at Knox, he has an uncertain look on his face. “No, but will you tell me about them?”

“No.” He snaps at me.

Both of our arms drop from around each other. I wrap my arms around myself and wait to see if he’ll say anything more. Knox paces back and forth, running his hands through his hair, I’ve noticed he does this a lot when he’s stressed about something or pissed off.

Eventually he stops and just studies me, it’s like he is begging me to just understand why this is so hard for him, but I can’t. “I can’t tell you about them Jas. I want to but it’s something I can’t do. It’s something I won’t do. If this is a deal breaker for us then I get it.”

Deal breaker? There has to be a deal to be broken first. As far as I’m concerned we haven’t spoken about one. I’m really thinking that I must space out a lot because I swear I always feel like I’m missing something. Kind of like when you daydream in class and the teacher calls on you for an answer and you don’t have one. That’s exactly how a feel.

“Knox, we’re just two people who are attracted to each other. So what deal is there to break?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are infuriating?” He asks with balled fists.

“Nope,” I say with a sly smile and a wink. I pat him on the shoulder then leave him in the bathroom to go grab my things off the bed so I can get changed into something more comfortable.

When Knox emerges from the bathroom he has his shirt off and he’s barefoot. My mouth goes dry at the sight of him, I’ve seen him in less before but I don’t think I could ever get sick of looking at his muscular sculpted body with his tattoos. As I go past him he slaps me on the ass. “Hurry up.”

I look over my shoulder, “Hurry up for what?”

“I need a back rub.”

“Ha! You’re joking right?”

“I’m serious.” I hear him say as I shut the door.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for riding the Knox rollercoaster.

After finally getting Jasmine to lay in bed with me I convince her to give me a back rub. I’d do anything to keep her hands on me. I freaked for a second and just needed a minute to gather myself.

I turn on my side facing Jasmine and I listen to her steady breathing after I finally persuade her to sleep in the bed with me. For a while there I didn’t think she would but she eventually gave in. My fingers are itching to run up and down her bare arm but I know that I shouldn’t. I flip back on my back and replay the conversation with Rex before I came running after her.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Rex says as he gets up in my face.

He’s pissed. I get that he is friends with her and that she is his girlfriend’s best friend, but he’s
my
brother. That should stand for more.

“You know what my problem is so back the fuck off.” I spit back and give him a slight push but he doesn’t budge.

“She isn’t involved in that shit Knox, and you know it. Stop trying to involve her in your scheme. She knows nothing about it.” Rex retorts right back but just loud enough for me to hear.

We are at an impasse. He’s right. I don’t blame her for what happened but I blame her family, and my only way to make them pay for what happened is through her. Rex doesn’t agree with me at all.

He takes a step back and just shakes his head.

My mind starts a battle again for the hundredth time. I’m falling for her. I know it deep down inside.

I want to fall for her, but I shouldn’t.

I deserve to be happy again, and I know she can make me feel that way.

So once again, I give in and go after her.

I want her.

I need her.

I have to have her.

Before I even open my eyes I’m smiling. Knox’s body heat and smell is intoxicating. I finally agreed to share Knox’s bed last night. I’m so tired of fighting my feelings for him so I’m giving in to them. I may have made a deal with the devil himself but you live and you learn.
Right?

“Why are you smiling so damn early in the morning?” Knox says in a sexy morning voice.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards his voice. “I always wake up with a smile on my face.”

Knox cocks an eyebrow at me.

I reach behind me, grabbing for my pillow to hit him with, but before I can make contact with him he grabs it from me and throws it on the floor. In lightning speed he has me pinned underneath him. I momentarily freeze, he’s completely caught me off guard.

“Jas…” Knox trails off.

The sound of his voice relaxes me. I reach up and run my hands through Knox’s hair.