Finding the Way (The Amish Millers Get Married Book 5) (7 page)

“I see.” The bishop smiled at Nash. “I’m glad
to hear you want to come back to the community; that’s
gut
to hear. So you have enjoyed a long
rumspringa
?”

“Yes, a long one.” Nash suddenly felt tongue
tied, and took a sip of the onion and honey tea, which didn’t taste
anywhere near as bad as it sounded.

“And you want to return to the community and
be baptized?” The bishop was smiling encouragingly.

Nash nodded. “
Err
, yes.”
That’s
what I already said
, Nash thought.

“That is the way of it these days; the
younger generation seems to be taking a longer time on
rumspringa
and joining the community later than we did back
in my day.” The bishop chuckled to himself.

Nash was slowly being put at ease. The bishop
was not stern or forbidding, and seemed cheerful enough and not
judgmental at all. He wasn’t at all what Nash had expected.

“Are you ready to receive the instruction
when instruction starts in the coming weeks?” When Nash nodded, the
bishop said, “
Gut
,
gut
. Well, why don’t you tell me
about yourself?”

Nash supposed that the bishop was fishing for
information, so he figured he might as well tell him everything.
The bishop would find out sooner or later, and there was no point
delaying the inevitable.

“I have a car. It’s old, but I’ll sell it of
course.” He pointed to the car.

The bishop nodded with a look of approval on
his face. “You obviously can drive a buggy, though. You haven’t
been away from your community that long. You do like horses, don’t
you?”

“Oh yes,” said Nash hurriedly. “I spent all
my money on them.” Seeing the bishop frowning in confusion, Nash
explained. “I mean racehorses, gambling, that sort of thing. I
gambled a lot on the horses and I owe money to book makers. I
suppose I can pay them back with the money I get for selling the
car though.”
And when I have enough money, I’ll buy a fast,
black harness horse, bigger and faster than Jessie’s black
horse
, Nash thought gleefully, imagining how dashing he would
look speeding down the dirt roads.

“Go on.”

“What?” Nash came back to reality. “Oh, and I
have tattoos and piercings. I won’t put the piercings back in.”
Nash drew a breath and then continued. “I’ve been cruel and mean to
people. I made my mother cry. I was horrible to Sarah Beachy and I
told her she was a Miller. I’m kind to animals, though.”

Nash thought the bishop’s mouth twitched
slightly in amusement, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Is there more?” asked the bishop.

Nash looked at the bishop carefully. He
thought the bishop would have been impressed by his catalog of
misdeeds, but the bishop seemed to think it was all a bit tame.
Nash didn’t know whether to be relieved or offended. “You don’t
think that’s bad enough?” he asked.

“It’s not what I think that matters,” the
bishop said. “It’s what
Gott
thinks that matters. And what
do you think, Nash? Do you think you have gone astray?”

“Why, yes, quite badly, I thought,” Nash
said. “Can I still get baptized?”

The bishop smiled, and then said, “All we
like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own
way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

Nash stared at the bishop. “So you mean we’ve
all
gone astray?”

“There is none righteous, no not one,” the
bishop quoted.

Nash nodded. “I see.” He wondered if the
bishop would quote Scripture in answer to all his questions. The
bishop from his community never quoted Scripture, and in fact
rebuked anyone who did, calling them
Scripture Smart.

“The thing is,” the bishop said, “when
someone is baptized and becomes a member of the community, he puts
his old life behind him. You submit to
Gott
, you submit to
the leaders, and you submit to the community. There is no going
back. Can you do that, Nash?”

“Yes,” Nash said confidently. “I’ve thought
it all through. I don’t think I can have a personality change
overnight though, but I’ll try my best.”

The bishop leaned forward in his chair. “So,
Nash, what prompted this change of heart?”

Nash shrugged. “I suppose you could say I’ve
seen the error of my ways.” He chuckled at his cliché.

The bishop did not look amused. “Would this
have anything to do with a young lady from the community?”

Nash was horrified. “How did you know? Who
told you?”

The bishop smiled. “No one told me, but often
young
menner
wish to return to the community because they
want to marry a
maidel
from the community.”

Nash nodded. “Oh, I see.”

“So I hope that is not your only reason for
returning to the community?”

“Oh no. I don’t even think she likes me.
She’s a bit strange.” Nash bit his lip, wondering if he had gone
too far by criticizing someone to the bishop. “She’s very nice and
all, but I just can’t figure her out.”

The bishop suppressed a chuckle. “So the
young lady has nothing to do with your wanting to return to the
community.”

Nash thought about it before answering. “She
did make me have a long, hard look at myself, if that’s what you
mean, and I think that helped me want to return, but she’s not the
reason I want to come back. I want to come back for myself.”

The bishop smiled. “
Gut
, Nash. I
appreciate your honesty.” He then held out the plate of raw liver
and nettle sandwiches to Nash.

Nash looked at him through narrowed eyes,
wondering why the bishop wanted to punish him. He politely
declined.
Those
sandwiches he was not going to eat, free or
not.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7.

And these words that I command you today
shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your
children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and
when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you
rise.

Chapter
14

Sarah drove to town early in the morning. It
was a lovely spring day, and spring was Sarah’s favorite season.
She loved the fragrance of all the flowers making their first
appearance since the previous summer, and the feeling of
anticipation in the air that spring always brought with it.

Sarah was on cloud nine. It seemed as if
Benjamin did have feelings for her, after all. Still, she did not
want to get her hopes up as he had still not asked her on a buggy
ride. Was he waiting for her to say she would return home with him?
An unpleasant thought suddenly niggled at her. What if he was
pretending to like her so she would return to her
daed
?
After all, her
daed
had sent Benjamin to fetch her back. Had
Benjamin been reporting back to her
daed
all this time?

Sarah shook her head in disbelief. Surely
Benjamin wasn’t like that; he was honest and trustworthy and kind.
Yet why would he act as if he liked her but not ask her on a buggy
ride? It just didn’t make sense.

Sarah tied up her horse not far from Mrs.
Hostetler’s store and carefully unloaded the Spinning Star quilt
from the buggy. She had been sewing for Mrs. Hostetler for some
time now, and was still worried that her sewing may not be good
enough, despite Mrs. Hostetler’s assurances to the contrary.

Mrs. Hostetler was busy with an early
customer, so Sarah waited in the back room. Mrs. Hostetler joined
her soon after, and gushed over her sewing ability. “Why, Sarah,
this is beautiful work as usual. Your sewing is very fine.”

Sarah blushed furiously. She had been brought
up to believe that compliments were improper as they led to
vainglory and pride. Still, Mrs. Miller had told her more than once
with stern disapproval that Mrs. Hostetler was “fast,” meaning she
was not strict.

“Sarah, have you thought any more about
coming to work for me three days a week?”

Sarah nodded. “
Jah
, but I worry about
Mrs. Miller being all alone with all her
dochders
married.”

“Mrs. Miller will be alone when you get
married, though.”

Sarah blushed again. “
Nee
, I don’t
think I’ll ever get married, Mrs. Hostetler.”
Not if I can’t
have Benjamin
, she thought.
I don’t see how I can ever feel
about someone else the way I feel about Benjamin
.

“Call me Katie, please.”

Sarah simply nodded, a little embarrassed at
Mrs. Hostetler’s forward ways, and at the thought of marriage. She
left the store hurriedly, after promising to give the offered job
some more thought.

It was still early, and Sarah had only
consumed half a mug of
kaffi
in her rush that morning. She
wondered whether or not to buy
kaffi
and something to eat,
but her stomach rumbled and made the decision for her.

There was a little café near Mrs. Hostetler’s
store. Sarah had been there several times before. The outside
appearance was of a shabby appearance and gray. That, and the fact
that there was a trendy café just down the street, made it an
unpopular place for tourists, and that was to Sarah’s liking.

Inside the feel was homely, with the exposed
brick walls, family atmosphere, and vintage wooden tables and
chairs. There were no hurried businessmen or bustling, loud
tourists here.

Sarah took a seat at the back of the café,
facing out. There were no views as such, as the walls were brick
rather than the floor to ceiling glass walls of the rival cafés on
the street. Still, Sarah had not come here for a view; she had come
for good
kaffi
, something to eat, and to have time to
herself to think.

The aroma of roasted
kaffi
beans
filled the air. It was a welcoming scent which reminded her of the
Miller
haus
first thing in the morning.

Sarah ordered Eggs Benedict and
kaffi
,
and sat looking at the menu, just for somewhere to rest her eyes
while she thought. When her
kaffi
was served, she looked up
to see Benjamin sitting further to the front of the café. Her
stomach immediately went into a tight knot.
How long has he been
there?
she wondered. Tentatively, she gave a little wave.

Benjamin waved back, and then stood up and
made his way over to her.

“
Hiya
, Benjamin; I didn’t see you come
in.”

Benjamin smiled. “I was here first; you
walked straight past me.”

Sarah’s hand flew to her mouth. “I did?
Sorry, Benjamin; I only just noticed you then.” Benjamin looked a
little hurt, so Sarah hurried to add, “I was daydreaming, off in my
own world.”

Benjamin smiled. “That’s all right. May I
join you? Oh, unless you’re expecting someone else?”

Is he jealous?
Sarah wondered, very
much hoping that he was. “No, please join me,” she said.

As Benjamin sat down, the waiter arrived with
Sarah’s Eggs Benedict, and Benjamin ordered another
kaffi
for himself. “I’ve already eaten,” he explained. “What are you
doing in town this morning?”

Sarah was embarrassed that Benjamin had asked
her a question when her mouth was full. She pointed to her mouth to
indicate that she’d have to eat her mouthful before answering, and
Benjamin nodded. “I was bringing a quilt I’d finished to Mrs.
Hostetler,” she said after a minute or two. “Mrs. Hostetler wants
me to work for her three days a week, but I don’t want to leave
Mrs. Miller alone. After all, now that her
dochders
are all
married, she’d be lonely if I wasn’t there every day.”

Benjamin nodded his thanks to the waiter who
had just brought his
kaffi
, and then said, “But you’ll have
to leave her sometime, like when you get married.”

“That’s what Mrs. Hostetler said, too,” Sarah
said automatically, but then felt a slow flush travel up her
cheeks, and hung her head slightly, hoping the light was too dim
for Benjamin to see her blushing. Why was he mentioning marriage?
It was one thing for Mrs. Hostetler to mention it, but not
Benjamin. “What are you doing here?” Sarah asked, to try to cover
up how she was feeling.

“Well, I have some news,” Benjamin said,
likewise looking a little embarrassed.

“You do?” Sarah was worried he would tell her
he was getting married. She bit her lip and held her breath.

“I haven’t mentioned it before.”

Sarah nodded, wishing he’d come to the point
in a hurry.

“As you know, Mr. Miller has a furniture
making business and his retail outlet is nearby. They gave me a
tour of the retail store this morning, and I start next week as an
apprentice carpenter.”

Sarah was shocked. Of everything she imagined
that Benjamin was about to say, this was not one of the options.
“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t want to be a farmer like my
vadder
and his
vadder
before him, and I want to have
my own B&B one day, but I like furniture, and this will allow
me to build up an income so I can afford a B&B later on.”

Sarah shook her head. “I mean, why here? This
means that you’re not going back home.”

“
Nee
,” Benjamin said, smiling at her
tenderly. “How do you feel about that?”

“Me? Me?” Sarah spluttered, her emotions all
in turmoil and suddenly wondering where her ability to speak had
gone. “
Err
, that would be
gut
. I’d like it if you
stayed here,” she added boldly.
What do I have to lose
, she
thought?
Maybe he hasn’t asked me on a buggy ride as he isn’t
sure if I like him
.

Benjamin simply smiled widely in reply.

Yet, despite the big hint Sarah considered
she had given Benjamin, there was no mention of a buggy ride,
despite the two spending the next hour in amicable
conversation.