Finding Orion (10 page)

I decided to
sit at the bench beside the one good tree we had in the entire strip mall. The
leaves hadn't turned yet, but it was only a matter of time. It was getting
colder out, and pretty soon I'd be stuck going outside in a sweater instead of
a tank top or a thin tee.

Frowning at
my lunch, I dug in my pocket for the letter Simon had given me. I hadn't
noticed it earlier, but it was written on a napkin, probably from the bar.
He could've left his message with Simon.
I
shuddered. A napkin was fine.

I was thankful
for not bringing my cell out with me. The time away from
Karie
,
work, and an actual phone gave me time to think over
Jace's
note. I opened it and read the two lines he'd managed to write down before
leaving the bar for the evening.

I'm sorry if I offended you. Can we take things
slow?

On the
bottom, he'd written down his phone number. My stomach twisted as I looked over
the ten digits. It was local. He couldn't have lived more than ten blocks away
from me.
Or it could be a cell.
Or that.
It was probably just his cell, and everyone knows a
cell number could have a different area code compared to where someone lives.

I pushed
Jace
and his note to the back of my mind, shoving the
napkin in my pocket so I could throw it out at home.
Away
from work and prying eyes.
You
should call him.
What for? I didn't want to lead him on, and I didn't even
know if this was something I wanted yet.
How
are you going to know if you don't give him a shot?

I groaned and
leaned back to stare up at the clouds. Everything used to be so simple when I
was little. The clouds never turned into fun shapes anymore. They were just
clouds, passing me by as I sat in the same place.
Worked in
the same boring ass job.
Ate the same foods.
I
had to get out.

I thought
Orion had changed my life enough not to feel that sense of dread, the one you
get when you feel as though every day for the rest of your life is going to be
exactly the same. Turns out, Orion didn't change a damned thing. Not while I
was awake anyway.

I decided to
keep
Jace's
note and make up my mind about calling
him later, after I'd had time to relax. And so help me, if he showed up at the
bar before I did, he'd never get the chance. All I needed was one day.
One fucking day.
Twenty-four hours to
myself
,
without anyone else trying to intervene. Was that too much to ask?

You better hope for your sake it's not.
I was almost
thirty, and the slump I was in now was probably going to get worse before it
got any better.

Twenty-four
hours.
Starting...now.

Chapter Eight

The next
morning, I couldn't remember if I'd had a dream about Orion or not. The more time
I spent with him, the more my dreams and waking life seemed to blur together. I
was starting to lose track of what was real and what was a dream.

The
anticipation I felt when Orion had me on my knees was the same kind of anxiety
I had at work when I read
Jace's
note. The only
difference was the loss of control or just not knowing what to expect. With
Orion, I wanted to lose that control, but with
Jace
,
I wasn't sure.

Could they
have been the same person? It was possible I guess, but then I kept coming back
to the fact that I'd never met
Jace
until I dreamed
about Orion.
You could've seen him in
passing.
But then why couldn't I remember? I didn't get that tugging in the
back of my mind with Orion. I got it with
Jace
, but
that's only because he looked like the man from when I was asleep.

I pressed my
hands against the bathroom sink and bowed my head. I was running in circles,
and just when I thought I was starting to get a hold on things, reality would
slip through my fingers.

I guess I
should've been happy I had no trouble sleeping, but if the combination of
Jace
and Orion were causing me to lose my mind, I couldn't
keep doing this for long. Something had to give.
You're going to have to give one of them up.
I couldn't. Not yet.

I knew Orion,
almost as if we'd been friends since elementary school.
That's because you created him. You need to give
Jace
a chance if you're going to make the right choice.
Was there a right and
wrong choice to make? Couldn't I just have both?
Not unless you want to be admitted into an insane asylum.
And that
was becoming a very real possibility.

One
phone call.
One
date.
In a few hours, I'd
call
Jace
and get it out of the way. Maybe then I
could see who he really was and if he could ever compare to Orion—to my
internal desires.

My reflection
stared back at me as I studied the dark circles under my brown eyes. No amount
of makeup would be able to cover up my exhaustion. It was weighing down my
entire body. I dragged my feet and grabbed my clothes off the floor, pulling
them on one garment at a time.

I didn't have
to look in the mirror again to know I looked like shit.
It doesn't matter.
Work clothes never looked good. Not on me that
is.
Karie
could make them work, but she also had a
shirt that fit.
Farrin
decided that to save a few
bucks, he'd get me one size too small, and it showed. And unless he was okay
with me wearing my own, comfortable shirts, he'd have to deal with how the
tight fabric hugged my skin.

As soon as I
opened my door to leave for the morning, I was met by a very enthusiastic
Simon.

"What
are you smiling about?" I glanced down the hall toward his apartment and
smiled at David when I saw him walk by the door. "Isn't it too early to be
this happy?"

"Never."
Simon handed
me a second note, only this time it was written on some kind of cardstock.
"Looks like he's a romantic."

"Oh?
Why's that? Does it have perfume on it or something?" I lifted the
unopened letter to my nose, but I couldn't smell anything.

"No, but
he did leave you a note.
Two of them now."
Simon
crossed his arms over his chest. "Please tell me you're actually going to
call him this time."

I narrowed my
gaze at him. "Simon
Taferdy
, you didn't read my
letters, did you?"

His jaw went
slack, and when he finally picked it up off the ground, he said, "I would
never open mail that wasn't mine." Then, lowering his voice he added, "No
matter how cute he is." He elbowed me in the side. "Just don't tell
David."

I raised an
eyebrow at him. "You two would end up fighting over him."

"Better
believe it."

"Who are
we fighting over?" David's voice joined in as he sauntered down the hall
to my room. He stretched in his unbuttoned shirt before making his reddening
hair somewhat presentable. "Morning,
Bree
."
His eyes lit up when he noticed the slip of paper in my hand.
"Another one, huh?"

"Man,
you two are the worst at gossip, you know that?" I tried to look hurt but
failed miserably.

"I had
to tell him," Simon said. "He wanted to know who I was gushing over."

"Yeah,
but you won't let me see him," David added,
then
to me he said, "You wouldn't happen to have any pictures, would you?"
He tossed me a sheepish grin.

I shook my
head. I rarely saw David, and up until recently, he refused to open up around
me. It was nice the guys were having a good time, even if it was at my expense.

"Well?"
David asked, nodding at the letter. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"
Bree's
too good for us to do that," Simon said for me,
hooking his arm with David's. "She would never—"

I sighed and
opened the letter, turning it toward them so they could see. Given their
mirrored expressions, I couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

"That
bad, huh?"
I asked, folding the letter.

"Only if
a guy asking you on a date is a bad thing." Simon took the note from me,
and as he and David stood to either side of me, he read the letter, batting his
eyes in the most girlish way possible. "My dearest, Brianna..."

"It
doesn't say that," David complained, glaring at Simon.

Simon
searched his pants for a pen, but came up empty-handed. "Okay, so it
doesn't actually say that, but I bet you he thought it."

"Give me
that." I took the note in my hands, and with the boys smiling from ear to
ear, I read it.

Just in case Simon kept the last one.

Let me take you to a real restaurant this time.

"It's a
rematch," I said, turning the note over, half expecting to find something
else.

"So, are
you going to call him?" Simon asked.

"Or
should we?" David finished for him.

"Guys,
give a girl some room, will you?" I rolled my eyes, and like last time, I
shoved the note into my slacks' pocket.

"
Aww
, that's not fair."

"Don't
you have some reality show to watch or something?" I joked.

"What,
this isn't it?
Damn,
and I really like the main
character, too." David hugged me and excused himself, sluggishly padding
back into the apartment.

"You
will let us know how things go, won't you?" Simon squeezed my hands. "Don't
keep us in the dark. Besides, you know David will pester the hell out of you
when he comes over to fix that fan in your bathroom."

"Oh,
speaking of, we'd have to wait probably until next weekend. My schedule is kind
of up in the air at work because we have a few temps going back to school."

"That's
right. You have some seniors working for you. Well, that sucks. Hopefully
Farrin
can find some replacements."

"God, I
hope so. Last year
Karie
and I got stuck working
sixty hours a week because he was too cheap to hire on another person full
time." I groaned. "I really do hate working there."

"Weren't
you supposed to search for a better job?"

"I did.
The best one I could find was in the city, and I'd have to take the ferry to
get there."

Simon winced at
that and the subject was dropped. Riding the ferry meant an hour commute at the
very least, and during rush hour traffic? The slight increase in pay would've
been wasted on tolls, fares, and gas.
And
you can forget about living in the city.
I'd never be able to afford it on
my salary, not even with as much as I had saved up.

That was
exactly why I hadn't moved out of my apartment. I lived above the bar for the
same reason Simon and David did—cheap rent. Jonah got most of his pay from the
patrons downstairs. The rent he got from the rest of us was just icing on the
cake.

Simon checked
his watch. "I should let you go. I'll see you tonight?"

I smirked.
"Maybe.
It depends what kind of crap
Farrin
tries to pull and if
Karie
wants to go out for dinner."

"Fair
enough.
I'll let David know you'll be expecting him on Saturday."

"Sounds
good."

We said our
goodbyes and I headed down to the bar. Maybe it was time I gave
Jace
a call.

Chapter Nine

Stalker.

It was the
text I sent to
Jace
before I left for work that morning.
It wasn't so much an accusation as it was my odd sense of humor. I blamed it on
the guys and their bubbly personality from this morning. It was hard to be
angry or anything outside of happy after spending time around them. I was sure
they had their moment just like every other couple, but if they did, they never
showed it.

Pulling in to
my parking space, I flipped open my phone. I had one text waiting for me by the
time I turned off the ignition.

"Guilty."

Good, at least he has a bit of humor to him.
I hadn't even
thought of him not being able to see the smirk on my face until I'd hit send.

I checked the
time. He'd sent it a few minutes before I got into the lot. Biting my lip, I
debated whether or not to text him back right then or to wait a while so I'd
have to wait until lunch to read his reply.
You
still have five minutes before you need to clock in.
I decided to send him
another text.