Finding Grace: A Novel (54 page)

She let him go on as he needed to. She just
held him soothingly, stroking the curls of dark hair at his
temples. When a good deal of time had passed, she heard him give a
shuddering sigh. And he muttered sadly.

"What you must think of me. A hopeless shell
of a man, that's what you've married."

Moving slightly, adjusting her position so
they were nose to nose, she gently kissed his forehead, his eyes,
his lips. She brushed her fingers through his hair, speaking softly
to him.

"So neither one of us is perfect...but maybe
together, we can be something better."

Even in the dark, she could see how he tried
to smile, despite his sorrow. He whispered lovingly. "So the whole
may be greater than the sum of our parts?"

She didn't say a word. Taking his head in
her hands, she kissed him softly. Then she gently brushed her
thumbs under his eyes, wiping away his tears. In moments such as
these, she realized that deeds were more powerful than words. The
comfort of her arms, her body, was the very thing he needed to ease
his pain.

* * * * *

In early October, when they left the
continent, she was sad to depart from it. But she was also happy to
be coming back to Jack and Alice…and to the home that was now hers
as well as her husband's.

Jack was there to meet them when they
arrived at Union Station. Delighted as she was to see him again,
she was a bit disappointed not to see Alice. Many times she’d
smiled to herself, thinking of the day she and Henry had arrived in
Key Largo, when she’d called Alice and told her what they were
planning. She could still recall the delighted squeal over the
other end of the line. And she’d imagined how they would dance
around in girlish delight when they saw each other again. But Alice
wasn’t there. And after she kissed her brother’s cheek, greeting
him, and he and Henry shook hands with some polite words, her first
question was about her sister-in-law.

“
Why didn’t Alice come with
you?”

Jack sighed, and the look on his face was
that of a weary, frustrated man. “She’s home taking a nap. She’s
having an awful time sleeping lately.”

“
Why? Is something wrong
with the baby?”

He shook his head. “The doctor says
everything’s fine. But Alice is having back spasms that wake her up
in the middle of the night. It’s gotten so bad that sometimes she
has to sleep in the armchair.”

As it turned out, the back trouble was the
least of Alice’s concerns, as far as she said. When Grace came into
the living room, where Alice was resting on the sofa, they
exchanged great smiles and hugs. Then, Alice told the men to go
away and leave them alone so they could talk. And when they were
gone, she turned to Grace and beamed.

“
You little devil, running
away and getting married like that. Did you have that planned all
along?”

Grace shook her head. “Not at all. I was
just as shocked as you were. I still can’t believe all this is
happening. I pinch myself every morning.” She reached out a hand,
placing it on Alice’s. “Enough about my little life. I heard your
back is giving you trouble.”

“
Yes, it hurts. But I’ll
live. What’s really driving me crazy is your brother.”

Now Grace smiled. “What’s he doing?”

“
What’s he doing? He’s
won’t leave me alone. I’m surprised he even went out of the room
with Henry. Do you know that he calls me two or three times a day
from work? He won’t let me lift the smallest thing. And I can’t
even make the slightest moan or groan without him asking me what’s
wrong. He’s like a mother hen from hell.”

Grace couldn’t help but be amused. She knew
how much Jack wanted to be a father, and how much he adored his
wife. The idea of something happening to either of them was
probably what motivated his nervousness. And until the baby
actually arrived, that wasn’t likely to change.

* * * * *

It was an odd thing, having her own house to
run. But it was even harder getting used to the idea of having a
housekeeper. It was the source of the first real argument in her
marriage.

“
I don’t need nobody to
cook and clean for me. I’ve been doing those things since I was
five years old.”

“
But you’re not a poor
little mouse anymore. You don’t need to slave away like your
mother. I pay my housekeeper a salary, so let her earn
it.”

“
That’s the silliest thing
I ever heard. Why should you pay some poor little old lady to work
when I can do it?”

“
Because that’s how she
earns her living. She’s a widow. She has no family to care for her,
and she has no other source of income. What should I do, throw her
out on the street?”

She knew he had a point in that. And Mrs.
White was a kind-hearted soul. The last thing Grace wanted was to
cause trouble for an elderly lady. And so they all reached a
compromise. Mrs. White would stay, but as a helpmate to the lady of
the house. Henry wasn’t at all thrilled with the idea, but Grace
would not budge. If she was forced to have a housekeeper, she
insisted on sharing in the work. And for the first time in her
life, housework was a choice, not a burden. She was proud of
keeping a tidy home, and looked forward to entertaining visitors,
though she knew Henry balked at the idea of guests invading his
privacy.

“
I don’t like people
traipsing in all the time. I’d rather it be just the two of
us.”

Jack liked to slyly remark that Henry never
liked having company because he wanted his wife all to himself.

“
No argument there,” Henry
would reply. Then he would look at his wife and give her a wink,
which always made her smile but roll her eyes at the same
time.

Of course, Jack and Alice were their most
frequent guests, just as they were theirs in return. While Henry
was gone working, Grace spent much of her time helping Alice around
the house. By December, she’d grown so large with the baby that she
had to accept any help she could get, for it was difficult to
manage some of the smallest tasks. Just getting up from the sofa
was a chore, but Grace was there to lend a hand whenever she could.
And when she left, Jack gladly took over, and was happier still to
have his help accepted, if grudgingly so.

When he wasn’t fussing and clucking over his
wife, he was busy buying toys and setting up the nursery. There was
much arguing back and forth over whether to paint it pink or blue,
but they finally settled on more neutral shades of white and soft
yellow. It was all done just before the holidays, and all that was
left now was for the baby to make its entrance into the world.

* * * * *

A soft snow fell a week before Christmas,
coating everything in a glistening white blanket. Everyone was in
the holiday spirit, but as Grace helped Alice decorate the tree,
Jack was rattling on about slippery sidewalks and icicles that kept
forming on the edge of the roof. As she and Alice hung ornaments,
he and Henry were sitting nearby and they were supposed to be
playing chess, but Jack wasn’t concentrating on anything except his
worries.

“
What if one of those
icicles fall on someone’s head? A person could really get hurt. And
honey, what if you step out on the sidewalk and hit a patch of
ice?” He looked panicked, but it wasn’t a new thing. Grace couldn’t
help but be tickled by him. Lately, he’d been worse than she’d ever
seen him. Every time Alice made a noise, he was convinced it was
time to go to the hospital. And by now Alice had gotten so use to
it, her reply was a familiar phrase. “False alarm, Jack. Go back to
what you were doing.” She spoke it quite calmly, for it was
pointless getting upset anymore or arguing with him. It was easier
just to make her remark, and then ignore him.

He rose from his chair with a determined
look. “I’m going out to salt the sidewalk again and clear the
overhangs. They’re driving me crazy.” He threw on his coat and went
out, and Grace looked at Alice, who sighed but was smiling.

“
I hope he’s not like this
with all of our babies. I might end up in a rubber room by the time
the next one’s born.”

Grace chuckled. She glanced out the window
and saw Jack knocking ice off the roof with a broom, and it made
her smile all the more. Then she looked over at Henry, who was
moving Jack’s chess pieces.

“
What are you doing?” she
asked. He didn’t look up as he replied.

“
Cheating. He’s not paying
attention anyway.”

She started to laugh. But then she heard
Alice make a noise, and a moment later…

“
Oh my.”

Grace turned her head quickly. “Oh my
what?”

“
Oh my, oh my,” Alice
replied, and she gave a knowing look as she rested her hands on her
belly. But neither of the women panicked. Grace was calm as she
turned to Henry, who was still concentrating on the game
board.

“
Henry, will you go start
the car so it will be warm?”

“
Start the car for
what?”

After a moment he looked up, and seeing
Alice’s state, his eyes grew wide with understanding. He rose
quickly, moved quickly, but was quite relaxed. It wasn’t until he
stepped outside and spoke to Jack that any kind of pandemonium
ensued, and all on Jack’s part. He came running into the house and
to his wife, but Grace pushed him away.

“
Go get her suitcase, dodo
bird. Make yourself useful.”

He ran off to fetch the bag, while Henry
came hurrying back to help get Alice into the car. A few minutes
later Jack came rushing out the front door, and promptly he slipped
on the sidewalk and fell backwards into the snow. Grace called out
to him as she turned and saw what had happened.

“
What are you trying to do?
Put the both of you in the hospital? Come on, you bug dumb-bell. We
have to get going.”

He managed to get to his feet, and after he
got in the back seat with Alice, she closed the door on him and
grumbled. “He’s a bigger baby than the one that’s coming.” She got
in the front seat beside Henry, and they were off to the
hospital.

* * * * *

"He's the most beautiful baby I think I've
ever seen in my life."

Grace looked down at her nephew, so small
and delicate in her arms, wrapped in a blanket with only his tiny
hands and pink face showing. His eyes were closed now, and his
hands were clenched close to his face as he slept. But just moments
before, she’d seen his beautiful eyes, and they were big and brown
just like his father's. Thinking of that, Grace looked up at Jack,
who was standing close by, and she seemed to sense that he was
eager to have his child in his arms again. He'd been fascinated
with his son from the moment he’d seen him, and she couldn't
remember ever seeing such a look of love on her brother’s face. She
smiled, gently handing the baby back to him, and she watched with
joy as he walked about the room, unable to take his eyes off of his
boy.

They’d decided to call him Toby, for as
Alice explained, she wanted the name to be associated with joy and
not sadness.

“
Besides,” she said with a
smile. “I think it’s only right to name him after a good
man.”

Grace couldn’t find a reason to argue with
that. And as she stood with Henry at her side, watching Jack, she
could not help but imagine that one day, her husband would be
holding a child in the same loving way.

It was on her mind later that night, as she
and Henry lay together. He was nearly asleep, and though she was
quite exhausted from the events of the day, her thoughts kept her
from closing her eyes. She looked upon her husband, admiring the
rugged beauty of his face, so peaceful in repose. She did not want
to disturb him, but her curiosity overwhelmed her, and she gave his
shoulder a gentle shake.

"Henry?"

"Hmm?" was all he said.

"When we have children someday, do you want
a boy first, like most men do?"

"I think I'd prefer girls to boys," he
replied, his voice mumbled with sleepiness.

She smiled, curious. "Really? Why is
that?"

"Boys are nothing but trouble," he said.
"Don't you think I'm proof of that?"

Even as his voice grew softer, the corner of
his mouth turned up a bit in that way she loved so much. She
smiled, bringing herself up close to him and kissing him softly on
the lips.

"I love you.”

"I love you too," he replied, and a moment
later, she knew he was asleep from the sound of his deep and even
breathing. She smiled again, resting her head against his shoulder,
her heart full of contentment and hope for the future.

Just before she drifted off, she heard the
sound of Jane's voice in her head, and it was her own voice as
well.

I know what it is to live entirely for and
with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blessed -
blessed beyond what language can express, because I am my husband's
life as fully as he is mine.

She could not forget where such blessings
came from, and she sent up a silent prayer to heaven, thanking the
maker for all she had been given. Her eyes grew heavy, and soon
they closed, and her breathing soon fell into rhythm with his…deep,
even, and peaceful.