Finding Grace: A Novel (36 page)

“
To think of me…being
discreet about a relationship. If that got out, my bad reputation
would be ruined forever.”

To that she smirked, and leaned her head
against his shoulder.

That evening when he drove her home, he was
careful to look about for prying eyes when he pulled up in the
driveway. He sighed as he looked at her sitting beside him, and he
forced himself to look away. The pull of her was so strong, he
feared he might take her in his arms and kiss her the way he truly
wanted to, breaking his own vow of being a gentleman. His sense of
self-discipline was greatly tested…but it was not broken,
especially when she spoke in her gentle way, reminding him of her
innocence.

“
I’ll see you at noon,
then?” she asked. “Tomorrow?”

He looked at his watch. “That’s nineteen
hours, twenty-four minutes, and some number of seconds,” he
declared bitterly.

“
An awfully long time,
don’t you think?” His face grew dark and morose. But a moment later
he was taken by surprise when she moved quickly, taking his face in
her hands, kissing him full on the lips. It was so sudden he hardly
had time to react. Her soft “Good night” he just managed to hear,
and when he reached for her it was too late, for she was already
gone.

* * * * *

She hurried up the steps into the house, a
giddy feeling rushing all through her. Coming in, she leaned back
against the door with a sigh of joy. She felt positively wild.
She‘d lost control of her facial muscles…a smile breaking out
despite her weak attempts against it. Bringing her hands up, she
tried to gain some sense but found it impossible. She closed her
eyes, taking a deep breath.

Just get on upstairs before someone sees
you. Then you can giggle like a fool to your heart’s content.

She passed the living room, and saw Jack and
Alice on the sofa. They were speaking softly to one another,
sharing and discussing a book. They were smiling at one another.
There was nothing strange in that. And yet, they had a glow about
them she could not describe. She approached with a wary step, but
was smiling.

"You two look very happy. What's going on?"
She looked from one to the other. Alice noticed her first, looking
up…and there was a dreamy smile on her face.

"Oh, nothing much. We’re just sitting here
thinking of baby names.”

Grace took in a little breath. Her voice
grew soft with wonder. “Are you serious? When will it be?”

Alice’s face was all aglow. "Around the
first of January, give or take a few weeks. What a wonderful way to
start the New Year, don't you think?" She looked at Jack, her eyes
growing misty. He was looking back at her intently.

"We've waited so long for this."

She didn’t hesitate in rushing forward to
congratulate them both. "I'm so happy for the two of you. But I
think I'll go on up and leave you alone to celebrate." She kissed
both of them on the cheeks. "Good night, mommy and daddy. I'm so
excited!"

She ran upstairs, wondering how life could
possibly get any sweeter.

Happily she drew a bubble bath, and relaxing
back in the steaming water, she looked up at nothing in particular,
just thinking deeply and dreamily.

Oh, to be in love! What a blessing to know
such contentment. She might have wondered at the loss of her
senses, but at that moment, such caution seemed a faint whisper in
the corner of her mind. She imagined seeing him in the morning, how
he would smile in his little way. They would look at each other,
knowing they shared a little secret. Of course, they would have to
pretend that nothing had changed. But they would both know the
truth, and she wondered how they would get through the day without
running to each others’ arms.

She was humming to herself as she slipped
into her pajamas and got into bed, pulling the sheet up over her,
for it was too warm for a blanket. Not that she would have needed
it, for she felt warm and tingly all over. All of life seemed in
order, all of life seemed right. She was happy, and those around
her were equally so. How incredible it was that by the start of the
New Year, Jack and Alice would be parents, and she would be an
aunt. The thought made her sigh with wonder. And yet, a dark
thought crept into all that was bright.

Would her parents ever see their
grandchild?

Would Jack try to make amends, even for the
sake of his child? And would Mama and Daddy even want to make
up?

She bent her head, folding her hands to pray
for a miracle.

* * * *
*

She stood in front of the stage microphone
for the very first time, her heart drumming madly beneath her ribs.
She tried to swallow, but the lump seemed firmly lodged in her
throat. At her left was the new stage manager, Bill, watching her
expectantly. The music began, flowing to a crescendo, leading to
her cue…and from her lips came only a tiny whisper. The music
stopped. A murmur went through the room, and Bill approached her,
his eyes quizzical.

"Is something wrong?"

She shrugged, trying to smile. "I'm so
nervous, my voice is stuck in my throat. My legs are like
Jello."

He gave her a kind pat on the shoulder.

“
Just relax. You’re doing
swell.”

He turned to the band, cueing them to begin
again.

Again, the music rose, and her cue came…and
as before, her voice was barely audible. Her shoulders fell, and
that same murmur was heard again. She wanted to run and hide behind
the curtain. She felt tears stinging her eyes. Looking about, she
searched for Henry, longing for the comfort of his presence, but he
was conducting business in his office. She was alone, even with the
band sitting there in front of her. But then, a voice came from
among the men. It was Toby, who stood and came to the stage. With
an athletic leap up to the platform…forgoing the stairs
altogether…he came to her side, approaching as though a hero to her
rescue. He glanced back at the band.

"I think we need to try something new,
boys.”

He leaned down to put his trumpet on the
floor, and rising with a little smile, he gently took Grace by the
hands.

"Why Miss Grace, I do believe you're
trembling." Leaning slightly towards her, he whispered…"I have that
effect on women."

From down among the band, several of the
boys good-naturedly jeered him. Pete, one of the guitar players,
cupped his hands around his mouth and stood up. "Boo! Get that
idiot off the stage! His act stinks!"

The boys in the band laughed, but Toby
seemed to pay them no mind.

"Shut your pie holes, all of you.” He turned
to Bill. "Why don't I stand with her? Have her look at me now and
then, instead of just the crowd."

"But that will look pretty dumb come show
time, won't it? You, standing there next to her, for no particular
reason."

"But I'll be playing, and the lights will be
down. They won't even be looking at me. And as long as she gives a
little look out to the audience once in a while, no one will be the
wiser. What do you think?"

While Bill stood rubbing his chin, thinking,
Grace stood close to Toby. She loved the idea of him being there.
Then she wouldn’t have to face the crowd alone. It would be almost
like having Jack beside her for support. She turned to Bill.

"I would feel so much better if Toby stood
next to me. I want to try it. Please, Bill?"

He shrugged. "Okay, Miss Grace, we'll give
it a shot. What's there to lose?" He cued the band, and the music
began.

As Toby played, Grace kept her eyes moving
between him and the lyric sheet, and when her cue came, the words
of the songs began flowing from her. They were soft at first, as
they had been before. But quickly her voice found its strength. It
was like being there with Jack and Alice, as the lyrics flowed out
with smoothness and beauty.

At the end of the song her eyes closed, and
she kept them that way for a moment more. Then she heard the
applause, and she took in a cleansing breath of air, full of relief
and happiness. Something made her turn her head to her left, and
standing there behind the curtain, she saw Henry in the shadows,
watching. Even with his face in shadow, she could see his smile.
She longed to run to him, to throw her arms around him. A feeling
of joy coursed through her. For a moment she was lost in her
thoughts, until Toby's voice brought her back.

"That was excellent," he said with a smile.
"See what happens when you have me around? Now let's do something
more upbeat, to keep the good mood up."

She wanted to go on. But then a troubling
thought came to her. Would the other acts in the club think she was
hogging the stage and the spotlight? She would not blame them if
they thought that, and it made her shake her head at Toby's
suggestion.

“
I don't want to take over
the stage. I should let the others work up here for a
while.”

He balked at that, grinning. "The stage is
yours.” He turned to Bill. "Isn't that right?"

Bill nodded. "The boss
wants you to work here. The others work downstairs, in a private
stage area. This is where Victoria used to work, so now it's
where
you
work.”

"But the other day, I saw the girls out here
practicing," she said. "Are you sure I won't be invading their
space?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. They were
just out here because they knew Victoria was gone. But now they
know you’re here, so they're back on their regular routine. And
everything is as it should be. So let’s do something fun. Do you
know 'My Blue Heaven'?"

She shook her head, and he smiled.

"Well then, I'll sing it for you.” He took
her lightly in his arms, leading her in a dance as he sang the
song. The words were sweet, his moves and manner playful. She
smiled along with him as he led her and sang.

Day is ending, birds are wending
Back to the shelter of,

Each little nest they
love
Nightshades falling, lovers calling
What makes the world go round?
Nothing but love
When whippoorwills call, and evening is nigh
I hurry to my Blue Heaven

I turn to the right A little white
light
Will lead you to my Blue Heaven
A smiling face, a fireplace,

A cozy room
A little nest that nestles where roses bloom

Just Molly and me and baby makes three
We're happy in my Blue Heaven
A smiling face, a fireplace,

A cozy room
A little nest that nestles where the roses bloom
Just Molly and me and baby makes three
We're happy in my Blue Heaven

She was laughing a little as he sang to her.
His voice was so pleasant to the ear, his way so warm and
enjoyable. It reminded her a little of Jack. She was quite caught
up in the happy moment, and it seemed he was just as lost in the
fun. Then the voice of Henry came from the side of the stage. His
tone was calm, but it was firm…and somewhat serious.

"Toby," he said. And at that, the pair
stopped, turning to look at him. "I think you should get back to
work.”

"Right, boss.” Turning to Grace, Toby gave
her a little smile and a wink. He hurried to pick up his trumpet
from the floor. They started another song she had amongst her lyric
sheets, and the flow of rehearsals resumed once again.

After they resumed their work, she didn’t
see much more of Henry. The day had been busy, both of them going
about their business. Her main focus had been on getting the words
of her songs into her head.

What a lovely day it had been, with Toby
there especially. He was such a good soul, so kind and generous. He
loved being the center of attention, if his showing off was any
indication. She even wondered if maybe he was a little sweet on
her, especially when he asked her out again.

“
Why don’t you let me take
you to dinner?” he asked. “We’re partners now. Why don’t we get to
know each other a little better?”

She blushed, flattered by his invitation.
But she shook her head. "That's really nice of you...but I already
have a sweetheart."

For a moment he seemed disappointed, and she
hoped she hadn’t hurt his feelings. But he smiled sweetly. "Well
it’s good to hear you’ve got someone. Whoever he is, he's a very
lucky man."

She smiled…and her thoughts drifted back to
Henry. She wished it had been he who had danced with her, and sung
to her so sweetly. But he had been true to his word and kept his
distance. Now that the day was done, she wondered if that might
change in some way. She knew he felt as she did…that he wanted to
be with her, as much as she wanted to be with him. If only they
could defy the rules and be with each other as they wished. No fear
of scandal, or judgment. If only he could be her husband.

The thought came to her so suddenly, it
nearly took her breath. He hadn’t so much as hinted at such a
union, though she had seen such love and desire in his eyes, she
did not doubt his feelings. Then it occurred to her that he might
not want to be married again, even to her…not after the failure of
his first marriage. Such a wound was deep, and not always healed,
even with the passage of time. Then, of course, there were her own
worries and fears. Marriage had always seemed like a life-long
prison sentence to her. Now, she felt a great temptation to gamble
on it…to gamble on love, and hope that he would dare to do it too.
But she would not demand it of him. She would let things be as fate
intended, and trust in time.

* * * *
*

As things were winding down for the day,
Thomas came to her.

"The boss wants to talk to you.”

Her eyes widened a little. A pulse of
anxiety ran through her, but she tried to appear calm as she went
towards the stairs, going to the office above. She was not in the
hall alone. There were two gentleman in the office with Henry…she
saw them talking to him as she stood outside the open door. But
they might have been invisible, for he glanced at her briefly, and
the warmth in that tiny moment spoke volumes. He was speaking to
his partners, but clearly it was each other they were both thinking
of. She waited several moments, and when the two men left, she saw
him rise from his chair and come towards her with flashing eyes.
She took a brave step forward into his office, careful not to stray
too far beyond the doorway. Before he spoke, he looked about. It
seemed they were quite alone, but still they were cautious, and he
did not touch her. He stood just before her, almost nose to nose.
He inclined his head forward, his voice a whisper.