Finals (4 page)

“
So how’d you get
it
back here?” I
asked
, wondering if
Brent’s
criminal genius was able to pull off such a feat.

“
We couldn’t bring any back since it’d basically be impossible, but Pierre has a cousin who lives in Seattle. Mike and I went up to see the guy and we came back with this...”

Brent
reached
under his bed and
brought
out a black duffel bag.
He unzipped
the bag and hidden underneath some clothes sat several little Ziploc bags of cocaine.
Staring at the ungodly amount of white powder, I felt like I was sitting with Scarface and his henchman. I couldn’t believe it.

“
Oh man, you should have seen this bag at the beginning of the semester
,
Wayne, it was unreal.” Brent
said
, reaching into the duffle to bring
out
another pouch.

“
Yeah
,
dude, fucking incredible,” Mike said, taking the bag from Brent and placing it on the desk.

“
It was essentially full when we first got
it,
but as you can see, it’s not anymore,” Brent said, as he watched Mike slowly pour out some powder.

“
Only because you’re a fucktard, Crane, and gave a bunch to those freshmen,” Mike said, now beginning to form lines with the powder.

“
Well those fuckers got it in the end didn’t they? Especially that chick!” Brent said, beginning to crack up.

“
Fuck yeah, they did
,
dude!” Mike
said
, turning around to give Brent a fist pound. A huge smile
formed
on Brent’s face as he slowly
waved
a finger in my direction.

“
Wayne, do I have a story for you, but first I think I need another hit.”

“
Take a hit with us
,
dude
.
It will make you feel alive
,” said Mike in my direction as he rolled a one-dollar bill into a tiny funnel.

I couldn’t believe how this evening was shaping up. An hour ago
,
I just wanted a beer or two with Lexie
. Now
I was trapped in a room with two coke addicts wanting me to unleash my inner Tony Montana.

I had also completely forgotten about Lexie. I hoped she was managing
okay
, since she was all by her lonesome. I needed to go find her and escape this
indescribably insane
situation.

“
Thanks
,
guys, but I need to find Lexie. I came with her.”

“
Wayne
,
come on, bro,” Brent said, as he tried to inhale the last
morsels
of coke from his nostrils.

“
Fuck her
,
man, bros before hoes. You need to take some of this shit,” Mike said,
shaking as he nodded towards Brent’s desk.
“Or at least listen to Brent’s story about how he fucked over some freshmen faggots. It’s classic!”

“
God, it is a classic
,
man,” Brent said, giving me one of his award winning smiles that I’m sure he’s used to swoon the women folk. I hated leaving Lexie alone, but I was intrigued. Screwing over freshmen, did not seem like something Brent would have done
,
or at least not something the old Brent would have done. I was mystified by the crazed cokehead in my presence because this wasn’t the Brent Crane I recognized. Then again, I was forgetting about Gavin. Brent
screwed
him over pretty good
,
no question about it. Why did
I
think he was incapable of
further
sin? I needed to
stay and
hear his story
.
Lexie could wait a few more minutes.

“
Sure man, I’ll hear this tale of yours,” I said, pulling out my cell phone. I flipped open my phone, and found one new text message. It was obvious that it had to be from Lexie.

“
I have your beer good sir. Where are you?”

With my dexterous little fingers, I quickly explained to Lexie that I was currently bonding with Brent and his pal. I failed to mention the part about the massive pile of cocaine still on Brent’s desk though.

Within mere seconds, my phone vibrated.

“
Gosh, about time you answered. Jaclyn showed up. We’re downstairs socializing. Come find us when you’re done.”

I quickly typed, “Will do!” and put my phone back in my pocket. Brent was texting as well but put his phone away when he noticed I was finished. Now having my full attention, Brent began his story.

“
You knew that the first Finance Club party was over at Sampson’s house, right?” Brent asked.

“
Yeah.”

“
Well, Mike and I show up at Sampson’s with some beer and a few bags of coke.
We’re
knocking a couple back in the kitchen and then we run into a few freshmen. Most of them were girls
,
and let me tell you, these bitches came to party.”

“
Fuck yeah, they did,” Mike
laughed.

“
So we bring these three girls into one of the empty bedrooms and we start doing some lines. This one chick, I think her name was Deb,” Brent said, tapping his fingers against the side of the desk as he turned to Mike. “That sound right?”

“
I don’t know, dude, but she was one crazy bitch. We kept telling her to do more lines, and she’d do them. Her friends eventually had to pull her away from the table. It was fucking hilarious, dude. Fucking hilarious,” Mike said, with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“
The next day, we’re at some party in The Village and we hear about this girl who overdosed on coke and had to go to the hospital. Clearly, we know it’s the same girl.”

“
Obviously,” I said.

“
Dude, somebody recently told me about this chick. That she was dead or like seriously fucked up,” Mike said, as he rubbed more white powder off his nose.

“
Anyways,” Brent said, continuing the story as if unfazed about learning of the girl’s potentially tragic condition. “We don’t tell the guys at the party we know her.”

Brent briefly closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as his hands continued to shake. He looked absolutely gone.

“
Dude, I feel it.”

“
Me too, man,” Mike said, rubbing his nose.

Brent inhaled
again before continuing,
his hands trembling uncontrollably.

“
Anyway, this freshman at the party tells us, the chick’s boyfriend was super pissed about the whole thing, and that he’s going to go pimp over the guy who gave her the coke. I don’t tell the guy, it was me, but in my head I’m thinking, ‘Yeah right like this freshman knows where I live, and even if he did it’s not like he can do a damn thing about it.’ But I was wrong.”

“
Boy
,
were you
fucking
wrong dude,” Mike said, laughing as he
patted
Brent on the back.

“
The next day, I come home to find my flat screen and my X-Box gone.”

“
Are you kidding?” I asked, shocked that a bunch of freshmen could pull off such a stunt.

“
Nope, I honestly don’t know how
he
got into my house.” Brent
stopped
and
gave
me this wicked smile. The same wicked smile a drunken parent gives to his
disobedient
child before dueling out a punishment of unforgivable nature. “But I got the last laugh, Wayne. You bet I did.”

“
So what did you do?” I
asked.

“
It took some doing but I
eventually
learned that the guy’s name was Ramirez and he and a couple of his buddies broke into the house and stole
my stuff.
He brought the flat screen back to the dorm and just set it up as if it were their latest purchase from Best Buy.”

“
Can you believe those little bastards?” Mike
said
wide-eyed.

Ignoring
the comment,
Brent continued.
“I also
found
out that Ramirez lives in our old stomping grounds, and I
happen
to be good friends with one of the RAs in Andrews, Sasha Ortiz. With her help, Mike and I
planted
about six bags of coke in Ramirez’s room and his buddies’ rooms when they’re out.”

Mike
started
laughing as if he
remembered
that glorious day, but Brent continued to talk over him, hell-bent on bringing his story to a close
.

“
It gets even better because I take the flat screen back, as you can clearly see,” Brent says, pointing over to the flat screen hanging on the wall. “And I get Sasha to do a room inspection.”

Brent started to crack up and I can’t help but join in though it was more of an instinctual laugh than one brought on by anything humorous.

“
The boys were waxed when the RA on duty comes in and finds the coke. Of course, they can’t explain it, and who in their right mind is going to believe that someone planted coke on a bunch of freshmen.”

“
No one, that’s who,” Mike said, howling with laughter.

“
Fucking right, my man,” Brent said, laughing right along.

“
Now, the boys bitch and moan and tell the RA and the hall director that they were set up, but no one will swallow that shit. All four get expelled, and we’re left to bask in the glory of our brilliance,” Brent said, triumphantly pumping his fist in the air as if he’d just hit a game winning buzzer beater

“
That’s incredible!”

“
Yeah it is! Crane, you da man,” Mike said, laughing along with the two us. “If I was a chick I’d go down on you in a heartbeat.”

“
Some other time dude,” Brent said smiling, as he lifted himself off the bed.

Sensing that story time was over, we all stood up, Mike was the last to do so and as he did he put his arms around both of our shoulders.

“
Boys, it’s time to get some ass,” he said.

We all laughed, though again mine was forced, as we headed out towards the party. As Mike’s arm slipped from my shoulder, he said almost as an afterthought. “You said you came here with Lexie Naples, right?”

“
Yup, I did indeed.”

“
Good luck with that, bro. I hear that’s like trying to break through a wall. If you want, I’m sure Crane’s mom can suck you off.”

“
Thanks for the concern but I think I’ll be alright. I’ll catch you boys on the flip side.”

I gave the boys each a pound as we parted ways, but due to his euphoric state, Brent provided me with an additional hug that lasted for several moments, before lumbering off to the living room. As I walked into the heart of the inebriated fire, I knew I couldn’t stand to be here for a second longer. I needed to find Lexie and get the heck out of dodge. I didn’t want to run into Hayley, Brent, or his retarded sidekick.

My sweaty pits and intestinal problems should have been caused by vast amounts of beer but since Lexie was still in possession of my alcoholic beverage, I knew it had to be the boiling rage that was causing me troubles. I couldn’t believe Brent could commit such a nasty deed and then have the gumption to find the ordeal hilarious. What the fuck was wrong with him? It was a given that the freshmen were stupid for stealing his television, but most freshmen are idiotic. When freshmen arrive at college, they have this mentality that every day is filled with beer chugging contests and wet t-shirt judging. To me, it’s mindboggling how brainless they are when they first arrive. A semester or two in, these freshmen begin to realize that college isn’t a joke. These kids or their parents are spending a fortune to go to school and after awhile these sophomoric youngsters figure out receiving an education is beneficial.