Fearless (Pier 70 #2) (19 page)

“You may kiss.”

Laughter erupted when Gannon pulled Cam to him, then tilted him back, their mouths never separating.

And it was in that moment that Noah realized, the only chance he’d ever had at what these two men had was standing directly across from him. Not once in his life since had he ever felt anything remotely close to what he felt for Dare.

Now he had to figure out a way to get that back.

While there was still time.

Twenty-Two

About a minute into the officiant’s speech, Dare realized that he’d spent the better part of the day wallowing in self-pity. This trip wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about Noah. It wasn’t about their past or the heartache that came along with it.

This was about celebrating Cam and Gannon and the love they’d found.

And that meant it was time to get back to being the guy who loved a good party and not the guy who couldn’t seem to shake off his past. Considering they had opened the doors to the reception room and were gearing up to move everyone inside, Dare knew now was the time to implement that. This was a celebration of love, not a freaking funeral.

Because of that, he made a beeline through the doors while the guests crowded Cam and Gannon, offering their congratulations with hugs.

“Jack and Coke, please,” Dare told the bartender as he stepped up to the bar in the reception room.

“Make that two.”

Taking a deep breath, Dare turned to face Noah. Before he could say what was on his mind, Noah put his hand up.

“I’m sorry,” Noah said softly. “For everything. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to start over. As friends.”

Well. That was not what he’d been expecting to hear.

He could feel Noah’s intense gaze watching him while he pondered what to say.

The bartender returned with their drinks, and Dare took a moment to take a sip, trying to gather his thoughts. Did he want to start over? Or did he want to put the past behind him?

The second option seemed a whole lot easier than the first, but Dare knew he wasn’t ready to let go of Noah for the second time, even if it was the best thing for both of them.

He found himself nodding his head. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” Noah looked confused.

“We’ll start over.” Maybe they couldn’t get over the past enough to love each other again, but Noah was right. They could be friends.

“Like, from the beginning?” Noah smirked.

Dare couldn’t hide his smile. “Who are you again?”

And for a brief moment, Dare imagined himself actually meeting Noah for the first time. It would’ve been much like it had been that fateful day so long ago. He’d been captivated by Noah very much as he was now. By how obscenely attractive he was, by how beautiful his smile was. Even by that lopsided smirk that promised things Dare wasn’t even sure he was ready for now.

Two hours later, after he’d knocked several drinks back, after everyone had settled in, after Dare and Noah had found a table near the dance floor, after Roan and Milly had made everyone laugh with their toasts, and after Gannon and Cam had cut the cake and then finally had their first dance as a married couple, Dare was feeling a little more at ease. It likely had something to do with the whiskey, but he wanted to believe it was because he’d reset his mind and knew what was important tonight.

“Excuse me for a minute,” Noah said, smiling over at him before getting up and venturing toward the DJ.

Dare couldn’t help but watch, wondering what Noah was up to. He went right up to the man who was managing the music and whispered something to him. The guy smiled back and nodded.

Of course, now Dare was curious as to what Noah had requested, but he did his best to pretend otherwise.

A few minutes later, his curiosity was sated and a laugh bubbled up from within.

“You have got to be kidding,” Dare said aloud, laughing.

“The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground came on, and Noah took off his jacket, laying it on a table and moving to the center of the room. Noah used to dance to this all the time, miming the words. Back in the 90s, it’d been amusing, now … it was hysterical.

Still, Noah looked so damn good doing it.

Knowing he couldn’t let Noah outshine him tonight, Dare tossed back the rest of his drink, then headed to the DJ with his own request.

A minute later, when Noah’s song was over, the room went silent and people were watching them closely as Dare moved to the center of the dance floor, his eyes locked on Noah as he did. He’d long ago shed his jacket, so he rolled up his sleeves while the DJ queued the music.

The minute the song began, Noah started laughing, and Dare lifted his imaginary microphone to his mouth, grinning. This brought back so many memories of good times. Fun times. No real cares in the world, only fun. A time Dare missed more than he would willingly admit.

For the next four minutes and forty-four seconds, he lip-synced the words to “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem, every word memorized from spending so much time doing this exact thing a million times before.

When the song went off, Dare couldn’t contain his laughter as he realized others had joined them on the dance floor, getting their Slim Shady on.

Then the music stopped and…

Dare spun around and saw Milly smiling from beside the DJ when “Tipsy” by J-Kwon came on.

Kind of fitting, actually.

Noah hadn’t had that much fun in … forever.

He vividly remembered all the times he and Dare had spent dancing, lip-syncing, laughing at the craziness of it all. Those had been good times. A large majority of the guests, both old and young, took to the dance floor to shake their thing while Milly’s selection played. Noah danced, never taking his eyes off Dare as he did. The man still had it going on, still knew exactly how to move his body to make Noah’s mouth water.

And now, as the music took on a slower pace, he wasn’t ready for it to be over. As “You and Me” by Lifehouse began, Noah knew it was now or never. As Dare started to move past him, Noah reached out, letting his hand slide down Dare’s arm before taking his hand.

“Dance with me,” he whispered, locking gazes with him.

He got the impression Dare was planning to turn him down, and he geared up for the rejection. His heart soared when Dare reluctantly nodded and moved closer. Their bodies came together just as they had in the past. It was intimate and sweet, and Noah wasn’t sure how he was going to catch his breath when this was all over.

As he held Dare close, losing himself in the man and the music for a little while, he couldn’t block the mental images from their past. Dare’s warm smile, his laughter. All the good times and even the bad… He would never forget those two years, no matter how many had passed since.

God, he missed this man, more than he’d even realized.

Noah wanted to spend the rest of the night right here, in Dare’s arms, close enough to hear him breathe, close enough to feel the warmth of his breath on his neck. Their cheeks touched, and Noah leaned in a little more than he probably should have, but he couldn’t resist. So many emotions flooded him. Emotions he’d kept locked away for so long. Emotions that only Dare Davis could evoke in him.

Noah realized as they slowly moved across the dance floor, a few other couples swaying around them, that this was where he was meant to be. This was what had been missing from his life for so long. All of the days and nights he’d buried himself in work, ignoring everything else was because of this … because he’d
lost
this.

The song ended far too quickly, and Dare instantly moved away, not meeting his eyes.

“Dare. Please don’t…” Noah sighed. “Go.”

Noah watched as Dare headed over to Cam and Gannon, shaking their hands, hugging them, then nodding what looked to be a good-night. He continued to stare after him when Dare disappeared out the doors onto the deck where the ceremony had been performed only a couple of hours ago. He caught sight of Milly standing on the edge of the dance floor, her smile sad as she watched him. Her head tilted, directing him in the direction Dare had gone. For a moment, he contemplated going back to his cabin, taking a shower, and going to bed. It was the coward’s way out, but he figured it was the safest option. For him and for Dare.

If he did that, Dare would be safe, and Noah’s heart would be safe, as well.

But he wasn’t sure safe was the right answer right now. Safe was easy. Safe was … boring.

He no longer wanted safe or boring… Noah wanted Dare. He wanted freedom and laughter, happiness and love. He wanted to be fearless again. He wanted everything he’d given up all those years ago.

And though he knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he knew he had to try.

Somehow he got his feet to move, to carry him past the people chatting and celebrating. They carried him all the way out onto the deck, beneath the inky black sky dotted with sparkles high above them.

There were a few people outside, talking softly while they peered out at the water surrounding them. Noah searched the faces for Dare, and when he found him, he stopped walking because he noticed Dare wasn’t alone. He was talking to Roan, who was nodding at him. Noah watched as Roan reached in his pocket, pulled something out, and handed it to Dare.

That was when Noah realized Roan had handed Dare his cabin key.

And the bubble of hope that had swelled in his chest deflated, making him feel … the same way he’d felt the first time he’d lost Dare.

“You just gonna stand there?”

Noah hadn’t even realized Milly was standing beside him until he heard her voice.

“I am, yes,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving Dare.

“So what? You’re gonna let him walk out of your life twice?”

“He doesn’t want me, Milly. That’s clear.”

“Oh, wah,” she said snidely. “Cry me a river, Noah. How’d you get this far in life if you let everything slip through your fingers?”

He stared at his stepsister in disbelief. Was she really giving him a hard time about this?

Her eyes were soft when she peered at him. “You want Dare? You go after him. Refuse to let him out of that cabin until y’all hash this out. You let him walk away the first time and you hate yourself for it.”

He’d never said that, but she was right.

“How do you think you’ll feel if you let him do it again?”

Noah shifted his gaze back to Dare. He was still talking to Roan, which meant he had a little time to head him off at the pass. If that was what he was going to do.

Milly was right. He’d let Dare slip away once before. Did he really want that to happen again? Could he live with himself if he did?

Twenty-Three

Dare was running.

Not
literally
running, but he was definitely attempting to get far away from Noah as fast as he could.

And it was all because of that stupid dance.

The one that had left him feeling hollow and hopeful at the same time. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get through those few minutes without losing it. For that short span of time on the dance floor, he’d been transported back to a different time. Back to the old Dare, the old Noah, the couple they’d once been. Holding Noah, breathing him in… It had brought back too many memories, too much pain. More than he wanted, for sure.

For the first year or two after they’d split, Dare had thought about Noah constantly. Dreamed about him. Day and night, night and day. It didn’t matter when, Noah had always been on his mind. As the years had gone by, his memories had grown fuzzy and the ache in his chest had lessened. It had taken a long damn time to get over him, and tonight, as they’d danced, as he’d felt Noah’s strong arms around him, Dare wasn’t even sure he’d ever stopped loving him.

And he hated himself for that. Hated himself because Noah had let him walk away, never attempting to come after him. All this time, he’d thought it had been proof of how little he’d meant to Noah, and that had hurt twice as much as walking away had. Only Noah hadn’t come after him for other reasons. For reasons Noah would never be able to fully forgive Dare for no matter what he said.

So, when Noah had called after him, Dare had ignored him, unable to look back for fear he wouldn’t be able to walk away. And he had to walk away.

Running into Roan had been pure luck, and when he’d asked his friend if he could bunk in his cabin for the remainder of the trip, Roan had said yes. Albeit reluctantly. Evidently Roan had noticed that Dare was running from something, too.

Apparently he was good at it.

Now, as Dare walked up to his cabin to get his things, he felt a band constricting around his chest. Seeing Noah again was really beginning to fuck with his head.

After unlocking the door, he took a deep breath and pushed it open. He could do this. He could get his things, hide out in Roan’s cabin for a couple of days, and by the time they hit Florida, he’d have Noah out of his system once again.

That was the plan, anyway.

The light was off when he stepped inside, so he flipped it on, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw Noah sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“What are you doing here?” He could hardly hear his own voice over the sound of his heart pounding in his chest.

Noah’s gaze dropped down to Dare’s hand, and he knew that Noah was on to him. He met Dare’s gaze again. “Waiting for you.”

“I … uh… I just came to get my stuff.”

Luckily he hadn’t unpacked, which would make this a whole lot easier. Before he could get to his suitcase, Noah was on his feet, blocking his path.

Or not.

Dare met Noah’s gaze head on. He looked worried, but there was a hint of determination in his dark eyes. That band constricted once more, making it difficult to breathe. “Please don’t do this.”

“I have to,” Noah said, his tone soft.

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t do it the first time. Had I known then what you were planning that night, I never would’ve gone to sleep.”

Noah talked about fifteen years ago like it was yesterday. But it wasn’t. And Dare wasn’t that same guy, and he needed to remember the pain that Noah had caused him.

Dare swallowed hard as he studied Noah’s face. “You never came after me,” he whispered, hating the hurt that slipped out.

“You’re right, I didn’t. I should have. Everything would be different if I’d come after you that next morning when I realized you weren’t there.” Noah swallowed hard. “But I didn’t. And that’s on me.”

Dare had expected Noah to make excuses, but he wasn’t. He was doing the opposite and claiming it was all his fault, which also wasn’t true. Dare wasn’t sure what to think about that. Worse, he couldn’t even get angry, couldn’t tell Noah off the way he’d imagined so many times because he had nothing to argue with.

“Don’t go, Dare,” Noah whispered, his hand reaching for Dare’s.

Emotion clogged his throat as the warmth of Noah’s touch seared him. He didn’t want to go, but if he didn’t, he knew what would happen. And in two short days, this trip would be over, and Dare wasn’t sure he could survive another broken heart. Because there was no doubt in his mind that his heart would break if he allowed himself to get close to Noah again.

“I can’t do this,” Dare said, clearing his throat. “I can’t pretend nothing happened between us.”

“I can’t, either.”

“I…” God, he wasn’t sure he could spit the words out. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I don’t want to just be your friend.” He wanted so much more.

“Me, either.”

Dare shook his head. “But I also can’t have a fling with you and then walk away.”

“No one’s asking you to.”

Dare straightened, doing his best not to look at the beds beckoning them. “No? Then what are you suggesting?”

Noah’s gaze dropped and he shrugged. “I don’t know, Dare. I just know that I don’t want to spend the next two days with you avoiding me. I’d rather … spend those two days
with
you.”

Fuck.

Dare had no recourse. He couldn’t yell, he couldn’t be mad … and he didn’t think he could walk away. Not from this. Not from Noah when he was laying it out there.

They’d spent the past four days on the same ship, sharing the same cabin, reliving the same memories, and now there was an opportunity to … what? He wasn’t sure what would happen, but Noah was right. Spending the next two days avoiding him would be hell. Especially when he wanted to spend the next two days with him.

And possibly the days after that.

It had been a close call getting up to the cabin before Dare. Especially since Noah’d had to stop and congratulate the grooms, then slip out before Dare. Somehow Noah had managed, and during the short trek back, he had thought about all the things he’d wanted to say to Dare, all the questions he’d had over the years. His mind was still going a million miles a minute, but he hadn’t yet come up with a solid plan.

When Noah had been sitting on the bed in the dark waiting for Dare to arrive, he hadn’t been sure what he was going to say then, either, but he knew he had to tell the truth. And the truth was, he didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but he knew if he let this opportunity slip through his hands—the same way he’d let Dare slip through his hands fifteen years ago—he would hate himself.

Didn’t mean if Dare turned him down he wouldn’t hate himself, too. Rejection was a bitch, and Dare had been the one to teach him that. Back when Noah had woken up to find Dare gone, he’d felt the sting of it for the first time. He’d promised himself he would never let himself endure that again. Until now, he’d been successful. So as he watched Dare’s face, waiting for that moment when he pushed him away, Noah held his breath.

He noticed when Dare’s gaze slid to the beds again.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” Dare muttered.

Noah grinned. “I wasn’t planning to sleep with you.” It was difficult, but he managed not to laugh. Dare was so fucking adorable, especially when it was obvious he wanted something he was denying himself.

“Whatever. You know you can’t resist this,” Dare said, glancing down at himself. “You’ve already proven that.”

Noah sobered as he glanced at Dare’s mouth. Dare was right about one thing, he couldn’t resist, and he no longer planned to. Perhaps Dare would shove him away, but he couldn’t hold back even one second longer.

Taking one step forward, he fought the smile when Dare took one step back. They did that same dance until Dare was up against the wall, their eyes locked.

Noah moved closer, pressing against Dare. He cupped Dare’s face, the stubble sensually scraping against his palm as he swallowed hard.

“You’re gonna kiss me, aren’t you?” Dare asked, his voice low.

Noah nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

His eyes darted from Dare’s eyes to his lips. He had to kiss this man again, needed to feel his lips, his tongue, his hands. But he was scared. Nervous. Noah didn’t want to fuck this up.

Pressing his forehead to Dare’s, he contemplated what they were doing. He could feel Dare’s warm breath against his lips, and he knew Dare was as worked up as he was. They both wanted this, no matter what their words said. It simply wasn’t that easy.

Before he mustered the courage to make his move, Dare stunned him, gripping Noah’s shirt in both fists, crushing their mouths together as Dare flipped their positions and Noah was the one against the wall. As much as Noah wanted to own this kiss, this was all Dare, and he found himself completely helpless to the onslaught.

They were a jumble of fumbling hands as they grabbed one another, holding, caressing, their lips melding together, tongues sliding effortlessly. Noah’s dick was rock hard, his body desperate and aching as he gripped Dare’s hips, jerking him forward until their lower bodies were doing a slow, sensual grind that mirrored their mouths.

“Damn you,” Dare muttered, his breath warm against Noah’s mouth seconds before his lips were crushed against his again.

Noah didn’t even care about air as he inhaled Dare, loving the aggression he could feel in Dare’s strong hands as he held Noah’s head still, owning him with his mouth.

Fuck. This was better than he’d imagined. So much better, and he knew if he didn’t stop it now, they would be naked on one of those beds within the next minute. Maybe two. As much as he wanted to feel Dare, skin to skin, he knew now wasn’t the time. There was too much emotion, and the last thing Noah wanted was to wake up to find Dare gone in the morning.

Sliding his hands up, Noah gripped Dare’s head, forcing their mouths apart. They were both panting, sucking in air, desperate for … more.

“Slow,” Noah said as he dragged oxygen into his lungs. “Gotta take this slow.”

“You always were the bossy one,” Dare replied, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Noah’s.

Noah chuckled, releasing Dare’s head and hugging him tightly. “You do that to me,” he admitted. “You make me crazy.”

Dare pulled back and frowned.

“In a good way,” Noah clarified.

They remained like that for a few minutes, staring at one another as the frenzied moment dissipated. There was still a hum beneath his skin, but Noah managed to ignore it. Mostly. He truly wasn’t looking to rush this with Dare. He’d already fucked up once on this trip; he had no desire to do that again.

“What do we do now?” Dare looked as puzzled as Noah felt.

When Dare’s thumb glided over Noah’s bottom lip, he closed his eyes, his cock throbbing. He was so fucking hard it hurt.

“I don’t know.” He really didn’t.

“You hungry?”

Opening his eyes, he looked at Dare, trying to see if that was a double entendre or not. Based on the feral look in Dare’s eyes, it was possible he was taunting him, but he wasn’t sure.

Dare chuckled. “For food. Not for me. I think it’s pretty damn clear you want me.”

Noah let his head fall back against the wall. He held Dare’s stare. “I want you more than you know. But that’s not what this is about.”

“No?” Dare didn’t look convinced.

“No.” Noah reached for Dare’s hands, linking their fingers together as he lifted them to his chest. “Not yet.”

Making love to this man would require too much, and he couldn’t handle it right now. The emotion would likely drag him under, and he needed to be ready. He wasn’t ready. Yet.

Dare cocked an eyebrow, and when that sinful smirk tilted the very edges of his mouth, Noah realized he was in for it. “Wanna wager how long it’ll take before you attack me again?”

Just like that, the easiness they’d known together sucked some of the tension out of the room, allowing Noah to breathe a little more. And because this was Dare, Noah couldn’t refrain. “I think the better bet is who’s gonna be able to refrain longer.”

Dare nodded as though he was considering that. “You’re on.”

Those two words had Noah’s dick pulsing again, and he didn’t need to be a gambling man to know he was going to lose this hand. But at least he could put forth a little effort.