Fearless (Pier 70 #2) (18 page)

Twenty

Unable to go back to the cabin and be alone, Dare went to find Roan. He needed someone to talk to. He would’ve preferred to chat with Cam because the two of them were closer, but he wasn’t about to drop his problems on a man who was getting married tomorrow. And Roan had offered.

After knocking on Roan’s door, Dare realized he wasn’t there, so he headed back down to the main floor. Figuring he could take half an hour to seek him out before he gave up, Dare started walking.

He was at the twenty-minute mark when he found Roan with Teague in the casino.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Roan peered up at him from his seat at the blackjack table. “Oh, shit.”

Dare didn’t even have to answer before Roan was gearing up to quit the game. He hated that he’d interrupted, but at the moment, he really needed Roan.

“You cool?” Teague questioned from his seat beside Roan.

Dare nodded. He doubted it seemed sincere.

“I’m out, too.” Teague got to his feet and took his chips after passing over a tip for the dealer. “Come on, bro. Let’s go get a drink.”

Unable to refuse the company, Dare followed Roan and Teague. They stopped at one of the bars, ordered shots of whiskey, then found a table nearby. There was music playing from the speakers in the ceiling, but it wasn’t too loud to hear himself talk, but loud enough to help ease the thoughts from his mind, so Dare managed to relax.

“What’s up, man?” Roan leaned on his elbows, watching Dare closely.

Dare wasn’t sure how to share the details, but he figured he had to get them out there. Rather than dropping hints, he went ahead and told them about the conversation he’d had with Noah a little while ago.

“Fuck. That’s rough.” Teague was watching him closely, a frown on his face. “But man, you have to know it wasn’t your fault. You said Noah even said so.”

Dare grimaced. “How do you figure that? If I hadn’t walked out on him…”

“The same can be said for Noah,” Roan stated.

“How so?” Dare wasn’t buying it.

“If Noah had accepted where the relationship was going, you wouldn’t have left.”

“I should’ve stayed. I should’ve tried to work it out. If I hadn’t been so selfish that night…”

“That’s bullshit, Dare,” Roan bit out. “Don’t you dare go taking that guilt on. How did he die?”

“Car wreck.” Dare didn’t know any of the details. He hadn’t gotten that far into the conversation with Noah.

“Regardless, it doesn’t matter. You’re not at fault,” Teague offered before downing another shot.

“I don’t know how Noah doesn’t hate me,” Dare mused aloud. And he really didn’t.

“Because he loves you, man.” The way Roan said it sounded so matter-of-fact.

Dare snorted. “Not even close.”

“I saw the two of you together.” Roan leaned back in his chair. “Y’all looked pretty fucking cozy to me.”

Teague lifted an eyebrow, as though encouraging Roan to explain.

“They were watching that movie last night. Holding hands and everything.”

Roan was right, they had been. And that short span of time seemed like a lifetime ago. Especially since Noah had spent the majority of today ignoring him.

“That’s the reason you shouldn’t do relationships,” Teague offered. “One minute you’re pissing rainbows, and the next your world’s upside down and sideways.”

Pissing rainbows, huh?
Dare hadn’t heard that one before. Then again, Teague always came up with some off-handed shit.

“Love’s not all bad,” Roan grumbled.

Dare laughed. The way he said it was quite the opposite of the words.

Teague grabbed another shot glass and held it while he spoke. “Regardless, this guy shows up out of the blue after, what … fifteen years? That’s gotta be somethin’. Seriously. Maybe you’re one of those who believes in fate and shit. Maybe this is your destiny.”

Dare stared at Teague, dumbfounded.

Roan spoke up. “Dude, you should probably lay off the whiskey.”

“What? I’m serious.” Teague looked at Dare again. “Did you know he was Milly’s stepbrother?”

“No.”

“Did he know about you?”

“No.”

“Yet somehow y’all are back together again.”

“We’re not together.” Dare felt the need to clarify that. “Not even a little bit.”

Okay, maybe a little bit.

Or rather they had been before Noah had dropped that little bomb on him a while ago.

Now Dare didn’t even know what he wanted.

Roan leaned forward. “Give it a chance. That’s all I can tell you. You never know what might happen.”

Dare smirked. “I hope you know I’m gonna use that on you one day.”

Roan shook his head. “You won’t have to. Love damn sure ain’t my thing.”

“I’m right there with you,” Teague chimed in. “Right there with you. Now who’s gettin’ the next round?”

Noah wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing in the same spot his feet had rooted to since before Dare had left, but he figured it had to have been a while since the main deck was clearing out. He knew he should’ve gone up to his cabin and gone to bed because they had a big day tomorrow. Not only was it the last stop on the cruise before they headed back to Florida, but Cam and Gannon were also getting married.

Yet the idea of spending the night in the same cabin with Dare was disconcerting. Only because he hated how things had been left between them. He honestly didn’t blame Dare for what had happened, but he doubted Dare would believe that, no matter how many times he tried to explain it.

“What’re you doing out here so late?”

Noah turned to see Gannon stepping up beside him. “I think I could ask you the same question.”

“Can’t sleep.”

“Nervous?”

Gannon shook his head. “Excited. I think I’m driving Cam crazy.”

Noah chuckled. “I can see that happening. No more motion sickness?”

“Only a little, but not nearly like it was on that first day.”

Noah noticed Gannon was still a little pale. “Good to hear.”

Gannon leaned his forearms on the rail. “What about you? Why’re you out here?” Gannon glanced around him. “Where’s Dare?”

Not wanting to get into the details of their falling-out because tomorrow was Gannon’s wedding day and the guy didn’t need anything else to worry about, he opted for a question of his own. “How did you know Cam was the one for you?”

Gannon smiled. “I think I knew it the first time I looked at him.”

“Really?”

“God, no.” Gannon laughed. “He was hot, sure. But we had quite a few ups and downs in the beginning. Things he needed to overcome, things I had to address.”

“So you had to work at it?”

Gannon put one foot on the bottom rail and pivoted so that he was facing Noah. “Of course we did. It’s what you do in a relationship.”

Silence lingered between them while Noah tried to come up with something to say.

“This about Dare?”

Noah sighed, then nodded.

“Milly told me about you and him. Anything you want to talk about?”

There were a lot of things he wanted to talk about, but Noah knew Gannon was not the man he should’ve been talking to. He needed to have this conversation with Dare; he just didn’t know how to make that happen. Not without fucking things up again, anyway.

Noah opted for simple. “We’ve got history. At one point in my life, I was in love with him.”

“But you’re not now?” Gannon’s tone held a hint of skepticism.

This time, Noah decided to tell the truth. “I’m pretty sure I’m still in love with him. And that’s not the issue.”

“Then what is?”

“I don’t know how to make this work.”

“Have you told him?”

Noah shook his head. “Dare is not ready for that. We’ve only been back in each other’s lives for a couple of days.”

“Yet you can admit that you’re still in love with him.” It wasn’t a question, so Noah waited to see where Gannon was going with this. “What makes you think he doesn’t know how he feels about you?”

He didn’t know for sure how Dare felt and he was scared to ask him.

“The only advice I have for you is to tell him how you feel. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same, but you won’t know until you talk about it.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Noah knew Gannon couldn’t answer that, but he asked anyway.

“If he doesn’t, then you’ve got closure and you can move on.”

Unfortunately, that was true.

Gannon stood up straight. “Well, I’ve got to get back to Cam. I’m sure he’s missing me by now.” Gannon chuckled. “I haven’t given him a hard time in about an hour. I’m sure he’s waiting for it.”

Noah smiled. “Looking forward to tomorrow.”

“You and me both.” Gannon’s smile widened. “Oh, and thanks again for agreeing to be a groomsman. It means a lot.”

“You’re family. I’m happy to do it.”

Noah leaned on the rail once again when Gannon left. He stared out into the darkness. He didn’t know how things would work with him and Dare, but he knew Gannon was right about one thing. He had to get closure.

He just didn’t like how final that sounded.

Twenty-One

Thursday, June 2
nd

Cruise, day five

Dare woke up to the sun shining in through the window and the cabin empty. He knew Noah had returned at some point last night, but neither of them had said anything. When Dare had woken up that morning, Noah hadn’t been there. After Dare had spent a couple of hours on the beach—wanting to be able to say he’d been to St. Maarten—then come back to the cabin for a nap, he hadn’t seen Noah anywhere. And now, only an hour and a half out from the wedding, he didn’t think Noah was going to make an appearance.

It seemed Noah was still having issues with him and he needed some space.

After finding out about Noah’s father and how his own actions had caused the man’s death, Dare couldn’t blame him. Not one bit.

Oh, it hurt like a motherfucker to know he’d been the one to cause Noah’s father’s death. Even though everyone—including Noah—was trying to tell him otherwise, he wasn’t buying it. Had he not chosen that day to walk away from Noah, his father wouldn’t have needed to come over to console him; therefore, he would probably be alive today.

Simple equation, no matter how you looked at it. And no amount of apologizing would ever be able to make up for that.

Which was why Dare was prepping himself to spend the rest of the trip away from Noah. As far as he was concerned, they’d said all they needed to say to one another. It might’ve been fifteen years too late, but Dare was finally able to move on knowing that he’d tied up those loose ends that had been left blowing in the wind all those years ago.

After spending the better part of the hour before the wedding trying to forget Noah, somehow, Dare managed to finally push the thoughts back, pull on the monkey suit, and make his way to the location Milly had instructed him to be at, getting there a few minutes early.

“You made it on time,” Milly greeted with a huge grin.

“I know you didn’t doubt me,” he teased, smiling for the first time in hours.

“Of course not. That’s why I had it on a ship. I knew you wouldn’t have far to go.”

“So you’re saying this was all for me, huh?”

Her eyes glittered with mischief. “Absolutely.”

Dare chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Come on, I’ll take you to Cam.”

Dare followed Milly as she led him to a small room where Cam, Gannon, and the others were gathered. There were a handful of people already there—Roan, Mr. Strickland, Hudson, and Teague—all laughing and joking and apparently keeping the grooms at ease. But there was one person noticeably absent, but likely the only person who noticed was him.

Forget Noah for a little while.

In his attempt to forget the hot firefighter, Dare got caught up in the excitement. It wasn’t difficult since his closest friend was finally tying the knot, and based on the wide grin on Cam’s face, today was likely the best day of his life. There was a tiny part of him that was envious.

“Did you ever really think you’d be here?” Roan asked Cam and Gannon.

“On a boat, no,” Gannon admitted, laughing. “But if you’re referring to here, as in getting ready to marry this man…” Gannon’s gaze slid to Cam. “I knew it the second I saw him.”

Cam laughed. “Liar.”

“Okay, maybe after the third or fourth time I saw him,” Gannon joked.

Thanks to the teasing and the laughter, Dare managed to forget the events of the last twenty-four hours right up until the moment Noah walked into the room.

“Hey, man. Glad you’re here,” Gannon greeted Noah, slapping him on the back and shaking his hand.

“I should be saying that to you,” Noah replied. “Looks like your nerves, as well as your stomach, are settled.”

“I feel fantastic,” Gannon confirmed. “Thank you, by the way. Those pills worked like magic. I don’t think I’d be here without them.”

Dare hardly noticed the fact that Gannon wasn’t pale anymore, but that was because Dare found himself only a few feet away from the most incredibly attractive man wearing a tux and looking like a million dollars.

Fuck. No man had ever looked that good in a tux. Ever.

As he ogled Noah, his mouth dried up instantly.

“Hey,” Noah greeted, making his way over to him after shaking hands with Cam and the others.

“Hey,” Dare managed to say, still eyeing Noah.

“Dare and Noah!” Milly called from the doorway. “Y’all are up first.”

Right. Wedding.

This shit was about to go down.

“You ready for this?” Noah asked quietly.

“Just another day for me,” he said, doing his best to pay attention to Milly and not turn his attention back to Noah.

“You two are going to walk down the aisle and then split. Noah, you’re on the left, which is Gannon’s side. Dare, you’re on the right. Questions?”

Dare shook his head and allowed Milly to lead them down the hallway, then over to an open area that led out onto the ship’s deck.

Even with the music that was playing and all the people chattering as he and Noah began walking down the short aisle to where the man in the suit resided beneath an altar decorated with flowers, Dare only heard the pounding of his own heart. At one point in his life, he could’ve imagined this being his and Noah’s wedding day.

But it wasn’t. And it never would be.

That was something he would need to remind himself for the next couple of hours.

Noah only hoped that he didn’t look as awkward as he felt. This whole wedding thing was so far out of his element, but he did what came natural, walking beside Dare—who was definitely pretending Noah wasn’t there—down to the front and then veering to the left as Milly had instructed.

It was a wonder he’d even caught that part. From the moment he’d laid eyes on Dare wearing that tuxedo … everything else had faded into the background. He’d never seen the man dress up before, and holy shit, he was a sight.

Even now, as Noah stood at the front while Hudson and Teague walked down the aisle, the only thing he could focus on was Dare. He knew before the night was over that he had to apologize to Dare. For what he’d said last night, for what had transpired between them fifteen years ago, for all of it. One way or another, they had to put the past to rest so they could get on with their lives. Even if it meant that once he stepped off this ship, he would never see Dare again.

Something he hoped wasn’t the case.

Noah stepped back when Hudson joined him—apparently standing up for Gannon in order to make things even. He forced his attention to the aisle in time to see Roan and Milly coming down. She was smiling so brightly, almost as though today were her wedding day.

Once the best man and maid of honor were in place, the music changed, and all heads turned toward the doors leading out to the deck. Cam’s father stepped out, then Cam, and then Gannon. Mr. Strickland led them to the front, then hugged them both before taking his seat.

The drone of conversation quieted, the music faded, and the only sound was the sea waves far down below against the ship.

The officiant cleared his throat and began, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite these two men in the bond of marriage, and to celebrate this sacred union.

“Marriage is a universal bond that is recognized and honored even when the forms and traditions may differ from person to person. Marriage is an essential building block of society. No person should attend a wedding without giving thanks for its institution. It is thus with great joy and hope that we come together to witness Cam Strickland and Gannon Burgess join in wedlock.”

Though the words trickled through his brain, Noah found himself staring at Dare, unable to look away when their eyes met.

“On this day, these two men will bring all that they have to offer one another. Their hope, their love, even their fears. For the commitment of marriage demands no less. They bring their dreams and accomplishments, as well as their worries and failures. They offer each other their virtues and vices, their fortunes and wants, and their well-being and their neediness. Whatever time brings their way, they shall remain united. For the covenant they make today will bind them together until parted by death.

“On this journey it is love that will make each step easier. Love sweetens shared dreams and comforts the fearful. Love is accomplished in seeing the good and overlooking the bad. In hard times, love brings hope. Love is at the very center of a meaningful life. It is the presence of love that, here today, pervades and enriches this service of celebration and commitment, and we hope will continue throughout their marriage.

“Marriage is different than any other relationship. It celebrates intimacy, and it ties an eternal knot. It is the most significant contract a person will make in their lifetime. It touches the heart more deeply than any other action two people can take. It strengthens the bond in ways too numerous to list.”

The officiant paused and looked between Cam and Gannon. “You are about to assume this relationship. You will pledge to each other your love and devotion.”

Cam and Gannon both nodded, and Noah noticed that they were looking at only each other. From where he stood, he couldn’t see Gannon’s face, but he could imagine the love that shone there. And all eyes were on them.

“Cam and Gannon have found that their love for one another is so deep that they wish to commit themselves to each other in marriage. The contract of marriage is one not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and with a deep realization of the obligations and responsibilities it entails. Please remember that love, loyalty, and understanding are the foundation of a happy home. No human ties are more important or more tender.”

Noah ignored the pang in his chest, the ache that he realized had started that morning so long ago when he’d woken up to find Dare gone. He had been in love with Dare then; he had been able to envision a life where the two of them would’ve been together forever. Only he’d fucked that up by thinking he knew what was best for them both.

“Please face one another,” the officiant instructed. “Cam, will you take Gannon to be your husband, to live together as best friend, lover, and soul mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat? And keep him beside you for as long as you both shall live?”

Cam smiled. “I do.”

“Gannon, will you take Cam to be your husband, to live together as best friend, lover, and soul mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat? And keep him beside you for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Gannon said, his words choppy with emotion.

“Do you have the rings?”

Noah watched as Milly and Roan produced the rings, handing them over to Cam and Gannon before the two men faced one another again.

“These rings mark the beginning of a long journey filled with wonder, surprises, laughter, tears, celebration, grief, and joy. May these rings glow in reflection of the warmth and love which flow through the wearers today.”

The officiant turned to Cam. “Repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of the love I have for you. Wear it now as a sign of the love we share together.”

Cam repeated the words, his eyes never leaving Gannon’s face as he placed the ring on his finger.

The officiant then turned to Gannon. “Repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of the love I have for you. Wear it now as a sign of the love we share together.”

Noah watched Cam’s face, saw the tears that came to his eyes when Gannon managed to choke out the words—reflecting the emotion shared between them. The deep connection between them was clear for everyone to see. It was evident that these two men loved one another and this day … their wedding day … it would bind them together for eternity. Although Noah suspected the ceremony wasn’t even necessary because their bond had already been established.

The officiant spoke again, “Being one unbroken circle, your rings symbolize unending love. May these be a constant reminder of this moment when you have pledged your everlasting love to one another. We have heard your vows and your promise of faithful love. May joy be with you from this day forward. I, by virtue of the authority vested in me, declare you to be wed, according to the ordinance of the law.