Fear Me (43 page)

* * *

I pulled into Keiran’s place and noticed a large black pick-up truck parked in the driveway. Keiran didn’t mention anyone being over at his place and I contemplated calling him before going inside but I knew he wouldn’t get my call until practice was over.

I got out with my bag…and my burger and entered with the key he gave me. I didn’t hear anything or anyone when I walked in. I walked deeper into the house with slow steps. Just as I reached the edge of the stairs, the backdoor opened down the hall and a tall, imposing man entered. We both froze as we stared at each other in surprise.

After a couple minutes of staring each other down he closed the door and moved closer. I gripped the banister and battled between the choice to fight or flight.

“Who are you?” he finally asked. His voice was smooth and husky and as I looked closer I decided he was quite handsome in his faded jeans and white, collared shirt. He also looked amazingly like my enigmatic boyfriend and his volatile cousin. I suddenly realized that this must be their uncle. John Masters. I continued to gape at him, his question hanging between us.

“You must be here for Keenan. I assume he is cheating again.” He sounded more resigned than angry.

“Actually, I’m a friend of Keiran’s,” I said, finding my voice. I caught the look of surprise as his eyebrows rose.

“Is that so?” I nodded and he continued to stare. “Where is Keiran?”

“He has practice.”

“Ah yes. Basketball. So why are you here?”

“He asked me to meet him here.”

“What is your name girl?”

“Lake Mo—Monroe.”

He rubbed his chin and continued to stare me down. “Why is it that I’ve never heard of you before?”
Maybe because you’re never around?
“I’ve never known Keiran to bring girls home. Much less entrust them with a key.”

“I – I should go.”

“But then Keiran wouldn’t like that would he?” My feet were rooted to the spot and I mentally shook off my nervousness. “Don’t worry, girl. I’m not going to hurt you. I am never home and my nephew barely spares me a glance.” He looked at me curiously before he asked, “How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” I answered while wondering why my age mattered.

“I don’t believe I know your parents,” he said but it was more of a question.

You wouldn’t. I don’t know them either. I thought I did.
“Carissa Anderson is my aunt and guardian.” A look of pity crossed his faced and I hated that. I hated when someone pitied my parents or me. They didn’t deserve it…neither did I because sometimes I did hate them.

“I see. Well that’s something you and Keiran have in common.” He walked off towards the kitchen, leaving me confused.

The encounter was strange, making me feel nervous and awkward. I practically ran up the stairs and quickly locked myself in Keiran’s room. Pulling out my phone I sent a quick text to Keiran letting him know his uncle was here. My headache had only worsened since leaving the gym so I slipped under Keiran’s covers and let sleep overcome me. I’d worry about the rest later.

* * *

I heard the first light thud followed by a second and I automatically wiggled my now free toes still covered by socks. My eyes refused to open as I came awake but when I felt the familiar scent I’ve come to love my eyes finally flew open. Keiran was standing over me, still dressed in his practice uniform. He usually showered before he left practice so I figured he rushed here. Most likely to see if I obeyed him and came to his house.

“What did he say to you?” I blinked a few times before I fully comprehended what he was asking me. John was here earlier and our conversation rushed back to me

“Well, he was a lot more pleasant than you were when we first met.”

“Lake…”

“No, Keiran. He didn’t. We talked for a little while but that was it.”

“What did he say?” he gritted.

“Nothing much. He just wanted to know who the strange girl was walking into his house with a key. Why didn’t you tell me he was here?”

He ran a hand over his head. “I didn’t know. Apparently they called him to schedule an interview since Keenan is still seventeen.”

“Oh. Right.” Sometimes I forget that I was a few months older than Keenan. I sat up in his bed and ran a self-conscious hand over my hair. I didn’t get the sexy bed hair that Keiran did. I was thankful my voice wasn’t as croaky as usual when I woke up. “Is he still here?”

He nodded and opened a dresser drawer. His back was turned to me so I didn’t see his face when I asked him but I did notice his back muscles tense. “He is talking with Keenan right now about school and all the other fatherly shit I have no interest in.” The bitterness in his tone did not escape me.

“Why aren’t you and John close?”

“Why would we be?”

“He’s your uncle.”

He shrugged and lifted a fresh shirt out of the drawer. “Not my problem.”

“I don’t think it’s good for you to be so distant.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you.” My voiced was now raised from the frustration I felt.

He blew out an annoyed breath. “You shouldn’t. Why would you?”

“You have to let people care about you. You can’t just keep your emotions bottled up and ignore them. Sooner or later they will come out.”

“I told you that I do feel emotion. I feel anger and I feel hatred. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. You have to stop punishing yourself.”

He shook his head. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew why I
punished myself
, as you put it.”

“Try me,” I challenged.
Sheldon thought I could get him talk. I wanted to test that theory.

“I’ll pass.” He picked up my forgotten burger and walked to the door. I was totally busted, I thought as I watched his retreating form.

“Keiran?” He stopped at the door but kept his back turned, his head turned to the side. “How is anyone supposed to love you if you can’t even love yourself?”

His jaw clenched and his hand fisted around the knob before he answered. “I don’t want anyone to” he said coldly. He walked out and slammed the bedroom door and I felt like he just slammed the one keeping my heart as well.

For once his words didn’t make me cry but that doesn’t mean it didn’t piss me off. I sulked on his bed with my arms crossed, tapping my foot on the mattress. That’s how he found me when he returned from his shower wearing only a towel. I could see his bulge pressing against the material.
Oh God, stay focused.

“What do you mean you don’t want anyone to love you?” I asked as soon as he cleared the doorway.

“Do you?” He asked dryly.

“I – what?”

“Are you planning to fall in love with me?” His voice was harsh as he glared at me from across the bedroom.

“I’m not sure that’s possible for us,” I answered truthfully.

“Then what are we talking about?” he asked and turned away, letting me know he wasn’t interested in an answer. Nonetheless, I struggled over what to say and most importantly why I cared so much that he didn’t believe in love. Keiran wasn’t a forever person and neither was I because neither of us believed in happy ever after.

When he dropped his towel my attention shifted at the sight of his strong body, still damp from his shower, out on display. Suddenly, I wanted him in the worst way despite the danger of it all. He must have felt the same because when he turned back to face me, his erection was prominent and the look in his eyes was dark and promising.

“We may not have love but we have this. This is all it will ever be,” he said as he undressed me.

“Do I have a say?” I asked with bitterness heavy in my mind and making its way down to my heart. Soon it could very well take over my soul and then it would be too late.

“No, baby. It’s already done,” he said as he laid his body over mine and entered me slowly. He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. “I’m addicted to you.”

I
didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep until I woke up in a dark room again but this time there wasn’t any feeling of fear. I reluctantly rolled over to my back with a low groan. I thought about the homework I needed to get done. Keiran was distracting me way too much. I had to keep a head start on my homework for good grades.

I rubbed the spot next to me where he’d been and found it cold.
How long was I out for?
I quickly left his room and heard the television downstairs so I followed the sound. When I reached the living room I saw only his uncle sitting on the leather sofa. He looked up at me seemingly sensing my presence. I couldn’t meet his eyes after what Keiran and I did upstairs. I’d forgotten that he was home. Sexual desire had once again clouded my judgment and I prayed that he didn’t hear us.

“They’re in the basement,” he offered. I would have said thanks but he’d already turned back to the television so I left.

When I opened the door I could hear a buzzing sound drift up from the bottom of the stairs and the low rumble of Keiran’s voice. I walked down and found Keiran sitting in a chair with a bottle of alcohol in his hands and Keenan sitting behind him holding a needle gun. They looked up and noticed me as I walked closer.

“What are you guys doing?”

“He finally let me work on him.” Keenan grinned and dipped the needle in ink and brought it to his back. I instinctively stretched my neck to see but couldn’t see what he was drawing from here.

“Keiran?”

“I’m forgiving myself,” he said with sarcasm, holding my gaze and bringing the bottle to his lips again. I didn’t know Keiran to drink heavily but then again I didn’t know much about him still.

“By getting a tattoo?”

“By confessing my sins the only way I can.”

That took me by surprise. “Oh.”

“Come here.” He patted his lap and Keenan scowled at his back.

“Be still, man.” Keenan looked up at me with a sly smile. “Hey, Lake, what’s with all the claw marks? You ruined my canvas.” I ignored Keiran’s offer and Keenan’s comment and pulled up a chair in front of him. As badly as I wanted to see what he was doing I ignored the temptation and rested my hands on my knees.

“Don’t you need a license to do that?” They both snorted and Keenan continued to work. “Is it because of what I said?” I went on, changing questions.

“No,” he answered without hesitation.

“Oh.” I wondered again what sins could an eight-year possibly commit and I once again thought about the girl in the photo. I didn’t know if it was wise to bring it up to him. It would open up a can of worms for sure and I still may not get any answers.

“How bad does it hurt?”

“I’ve felt worse.”

“I should get one –”

“No,” he said vehemently. “I want your body just the way it is. And there is no way in hell anyone is getting their hands on you.”

“Be for real, Keiran.”

“I am. I said no.”

“Shelly’s got one,” Keenan piped in, interrupting our silent stare down.

“Where?” I asked. I haven’t seen one and she never mentioned getting one.

“On her ass. I put my name there a few months ago,” he said cockily. Sheldon was still seventeen so I was sure her parents didn’t allow that.

“Let me guess…her parents don’t know?”

“Nope. Her dad would kill me.”

“So why do it?”

“We were drinking and –”

“Wait, you tattooed her while you guys were drunk?”

He shrugged. “It came out pretty good.”

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

“Ha, all four of us have been drinking since we were thirteen. We can handle our liquor.” I shook my head but didn’t say anything else. They were all crazy. “I promise not to tattoo your ass while I’m drunk.”

“You won’t go anywhere near her ass,” Keiran barked.

Keenan snorted and rolled his eyes. “Guy gets his first girlfriend and suddenly he thinks he’s the boss of everyone.”

“Keenan –” Keiran began.

As much screwing as he did I was sure there had to have been a girlfriend or two, or six so I asked, “What about Anya?”

“That crazy nut? No way! She isn’t even that good of a lay,” Keenan said before Keiran could respond.

“And how would you know? She was Keiran’s girlfriend. You already have a girlfriend.”

“She wasn’t my girlfriend.” Keiran finally answered, cutting Keenan off.

“That’s not what she said.” I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back in my seat.

“Are we really going to do this right now? I fucked her twice. The second time only happened because I was drunk and she hopped on my dick uninvited.”

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes again. I seem to do that a lot around him. He narrowed his eyes at me and breathed through his nose and I could tell he was getting pissed.

“Why do girls always ask questions they don’t want to know the answer to?” Keenan asked. Keiran ignored him and continued to stare at me.

“They’re hardwired that way,” Dash said appearing from the stairs with Sheldon right behind him. “Aw man, you’re getting tatted? Me next.”

“I haven’t finished your design yet. Why do you have to be so complicated anyway?”

“I’m a deep man. What can I say? This one is special.” He then turned his gaze on me. “Hey, Lake. You talk to your girl yet?”

Shit, Willow!
I’d forgotten about her because I was so wrapped up in Keiran.
I am such a shitty friend.
“No, actually, I haven’t. Excuse Me,” I said standing up and heading for the stairs.

“Hey, I’ll come with,” Sheldon said. I shrugged and made my way up the stairs. When I got to Keiran’s room I pulled my cell phone out of my bag and saw a missed call from her. I dialed Willow and waited for her to pick up.

“Thank God. I thought you abandoned me,” she sniffled.

“Do you have a cold?”

“No. My mom is home.” Willow and her mom didn’t usually get along well. She hated how independent and free Willow was. It only got worse when she found out about Dash. Now all they did was argue. Her mom was always pushing her past hang-ups on her. “Are you home? I want to come over.”

“I’m at Keiran’s but I’ll come now.”

She let out a dry laugh. “We both know that isn’t about to happen. When was the last time you slept in your own bed?”