Fear Me (39 page)

“Can I ask you something?” She asked.

“Sure.”

“How could you forgive Keiran so easily?”

“You think I forgave him?” She shrugged and I sighed.

“I don’t know what I’m doing with him. I’ve been hurt by him, Willow. I was hurt too many times and still I feel something for him and it confuses me.”

“You’re still afraid of him,” she stated.

I nodded and felt a pang of guilt admitting it. In truth, I was his proverbial punching bag. He took the frustration of his past out on me and I was afraid that any moment he could slip back because no one knew just how buried his past really was but him. I knew I couldn’t survive that again after knowing him so intimately. There was more between us than attraction but I wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud.

“You’re right, Lake. Something is haunting him. It’s there in his eyes. Guilt. Shame. Anger. It’s all there. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t know what else to do, Willow.”

“You survive, Lake. That’s all you can do. If he loves you, he will do what it takes to make sure you do.”

* * *

If he loves you…
She’d said love. I was sure she did. I was numbed into silence and haven’t spoken a word since Willow’s last statement. She took my silence as an opportunity to retreat back into her own thoughts.

Keiran and I had never discussed love. I was still coming to terms with the fact that we even had sex with
each other. There wasn’t any space for love was there?
Our relationship was on shaky ground already without adding love into the equation. I couldn’t help but think of what it could be like to have someone as sinful and dangerous as Keiran to love you. The powerful feeling that swept through my body made me shiver with delight.

Oh God.

I shook off the feeling and checked the time. It was after ten and getting later. Willow’s parents had taken a trip for their honeymoon. Willow said it took them forever to save for. I knew they wouldn’t mind me being here so late as I have slept over many times. Buddy was nowhere to be found as usual on a Friday night so we were here alone. I was beyond tired but I knew what I was waiting for. Dash had told me Keiran would come for me. Two hours passed but he still wasn’t here.

I briefly wondered what they did with Trevor and Anya. Trevor was dangerous but Anya was little more than a simple bitch. She didn’t have the mental capacity to be anything more.
Maybe that was a little harsh.

I got comfortable on the couch, prepared to fall asleep. Willow had long turned on a movie but her attention was currently directed at the ceiling as she glared at the smooth cream surface above. I really wished I could help her overcome this love triangle between her, dash, and her mom’s past. I checked my cell phone once more before giving in to sleep and dozing off.

The doorbell awoke me some time later and a quick check of the time told me it was just after midnight. I had a good idea of who might be on the other side of the door. Willow began stirring from her place on the couch with a grumble. I hated being around Willow when she first awakens. That girl was a straight up grouch when sleepy.

“Who is it?” she asked with her eyes still closed.

“I don’t know. It’s your door.” The doorbell rang again at the same time Willow’s cell began ringing. She picked it up and answered without looking. “Hell – What are you doing here? I am not answering the door. I don’t care. No! Do you know how late it is? Go away!”

Willow was fully awake now and pacing the living room floor as she argued with the person on the other end of the line. I got up to peek out the window and saw Dash and Keiran standing on the porch.

Keiran was leaning against the pillar, dressed in a black, long-sleeve Henley and black jeans that hung low on his hips. His arms were bulging as they rested against his chest, crossed. His stance was casual but his face was hard.

His head slowly turned to the window and his eyes connected with mine, holding my gaze. “Open the door,” he mouthed.

I bit my lip and moved away from the window, not knowing what to do. I knew Keiran would be mad about what happened at the fair but that didn’t make the reality any less intimidating.

“Willow we have to open the door.” I whispered to her across the room.

“No, we don’t. They will go away.”

“And when they catch us later?”

We had a stare down and Dash proceeded to pound on the door. Any minute now the neighbors would wake up and maybe call the police. The last thing I needed was for Keiran to think I called the police on him…again.

“Fuck! Fine.”

She moved to unlock the door and as soon as the lock was switched the door flew open letting in an enraged Dash. Willow backed away before turning to flee up the stairs with Dash hot on her heels. I heard a door slam, then a squeal, and a second door slam. I instantly regretted making Willow open the door and moved to help her.

“I wouldn’t worry about what he is going to do to her. I would worry about what I am going to do to you.”

I stood with my back facing him, listening to the furious pounding of my heart. He was so still and quiet behind me and it made my nervousness increase.

“Come here.”

“Keiran,” I cried still facing away from him.

“Don’t!” he yelled. “Don’t fucking do that. Come here,” he ordered slowly. “Don’t make me come get you.”

I slowly turned, my mind racing for a way to placate him. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of Keiran without a door separating us.

“Why are you here?” I asked, stalling for time.

“Time’s up,” he stated, moving for me.

Before I could react he hoisted me over his shoulder and carted me out the door. I watched his ass flex the entire way to Dash’s car, which, unfortunately was a short distance away. He drove off and we were parked in my driveway minutes later.

He came around to open my door and held out his hand to me. The gesture said more than what the eye could see. He could have easily lifted me out of the car without me being able to do anything to stop him but instead he was asking for my consent. To accept what was about the happen.

I did what any girl would do when faced with a seriously hot male that wanted you. I took his hand. He led me to the door, took my keys, unlocking it.

Here goes everything.

“Tell me what happened before Dash and Keenan got there.”

We were sitting in the kitchen while he checked over my body. I wasn’t expecting this once we once walked through the door. I was able to relax but not much.

“Not much. We spotted Trevor and Anya inside together.” I paused and looked for a reaction but there wasn’t even a flicker so I continued on. “He spotted us and I left the area and even the fairgrounds but he followed us out to the parking lot and grabbed me.”

There it was. He reacted to my last statement. Anger flashed in his eyes and his fists balled. I pretended I didn’t see and told him the rest of what happened. His expression was murderous by the time I finished.

“What do you think he meant by someone wanted to meet me?” I still couldn’t believe Trevor had stooped to kidnapping.

“Doesn’t matter. It will never happen.”

Wait. What?
“You know who he was talking about? Who could Trevor and I have in common?”

“It’s not someone you have in common. It’s someone I have in common.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You don’t need to. I’ll handle it.”

“The hell I don’t. He was going to kidnap me, Keiran or don’t you get that?” My voice level rose with my frustration.

“Leave it alone.”

“No.” I stated, crossing my arms.

“No?” His eyes were nearly black now and that rebellious vein near his temple was throbbing.

“I’m going to find out what you are hiding Keiran. I deserve to know. Your past is the reason why you screwed up mine and I want to know why. I want to know all of it. Not the half-truths you gave me.”

“Do I ask you about your parents, Lake?” he yelled. The vibration of his voice shook me as it thundered through the kitchen.

“It’s your parents?” I asked, surprised. I could see the moment realization dawned on him. He cursed and stormed out of the kitchen. His footsteps pounding the floor until the front door slammed.

I hopped off the counter top and raced to the door. I didn’t know if I wanted to stop him or make sure he was gone. I opened the door just as Dash’s car raced down the street, recklessly. I stared at the receding taillights until they disappeared around the corner.

Way to go, Lake. You pissed him off and still don’t have any answers.

Once his car disappeared, I noticed a dark car with the headlights turned off sitting across the street. It pulled off in the direction Keiran just went and I frowned. I closed the door against the cold air and made sure to lock it before rushing for my cell phone in jacket. I tried Keiran’s phone multiple times before giving up and heading for my own car.

I didn’t have a clue as to where he might go besides home so I headed over there. I continued to call him and cursed when I realized I didn’t have Keenan’s number so I tried Sheldon’s.

“Hello,” she mumbled sleepy on the third ring.

“Hey, is Keenan with you? It’s important.”

“Sure. Hold on.” I heard shifting and muffled voices before Keenan’s voice came over the line.

“Great. Now she knows about our secret love affair, Lake. Way to go.” I heard a slap ring through the line.

“Keiran took off after we had an argument. I’m heading over to your house. If he isn’t there I need to know where he would go.”

Silence filled the line and I could sense his hesitance. Chances were that Keiran would be home and chances were that he could be in danger.

“Keenan, please.”

He released a loud breath into the phone before answering. “The court. He would go there,” he stated before hanging up.

I came to a stop at one of the town’s forks. The left led to Keiran’s house while the right would take me to the playground. I haven’t stepped foot on that playground in ten years. I’ve seen it riding past and it hasn’t changed much but the memories all began there.

I made my decision and sped the rest of the way there.

I stepped onto the lawn looking around for signs of Dash’s vehicle. I spotted the gleam of the sleek silver car and hurried in that direction. I didn’t see signs of the tailing vehicle as I looked for Keiran. I had a good idea of where he might be.

I heard the sound of the ball hitting the concrete a split second before the swish of the net. I broke through the trees and spotted Keiran moving swiftly across the court. Even from here I could see him covered in sweat and his shirt clinging to his chest and arms.

He played as if in a trance and I realized that this was his way of hiding from the present and the past. He was using basketball as a defense mechanism to escape from himself.
But who was the real Keiran?

“Keiran, stop!” He kept playing though I was close and loud enough for him to hear me. His moves were aggressive as if there was an opponent playing against him. He was in danger of injury at any moment if he kept it up.

I ran onto the court and ripped the basketball out of his hands just as he wa
s going for a jump shot.
Desperate hands grabbed me up just before his lips descended on mine. I inhaled his sweaty, masculine scent that intoxicated my senses. The basketball fell listlessly from my hands in favor of his sculpted abdomen that heaved under my touch.

His hands cupped me under my butt, lifting me and I wrapped my legs around his hips and let him carry me…somewhere. His lips never left mine and air became inconsequential to the need to feel him take me.

My back was pressed against a hard surface and only then did he let me stand on my own; but when he started to rip away at my clothing I got an uneasy feeling so I began to push against his shoulders. However, that wasn’t enough when he continued to kiss me passionately. He seized my hands above my head and pressed them into the wall behind me.

“Keiran,” I managed to say around his plunging tongue. “Keiran, wait.” As much as I wanted him, I needed to stop him. He continued to ignore my protests and pressed his body harder against me. “Keiran, stop!”
I bit down on his lip before ripping my mouth away.

He shoved away from me and glared at me through narrowed eyes. “Are you fucking telling me no?” I nodded and kept a wary eye on him. He looked as if he would pounce at any moment.

“I can’t let you hide behind sex anymore.”

“Let me?” he scoffed. “You think I need you to let me?”

“It’d be pretty hard to do without my consent, don’t you think?”

“I don’t hide,” he said, ignoring my question. He fixed his clothes and sat down on a nearby bench with his head lowered. “Why did you come here?” he asked but his voice was disinterested.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were pretty mad and driving recklessly.

He shrugged and looked off into the distance. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I can take care of myself.”

“So can I,” I countered.

He turned his head and studied my face. “No, you can’t. You’re too sheltered. You don’t have a clue, girl.”

“And you do?”

“More than you would think. I am the monster you would hide under the covers from as a kid.”

“You were a kid then too.”

“I was never a kid, Lake. I didn’t have a childhood. I didn’t have parents or a family. I was a body used for selfish gains that hurt people.”

“What about your mom?” I asked with a frown.

“She wasn’t much of a mom. I hardly knew her.”

“And now? Who are you now?”

“I’m a hopeless fuck who is obsessed with a girl he still wants to hurt.” I didn’t react to his confession. In truth, I didn’t know what to say or do. Obsession was a pretty powerful thing. How deep did his run?

A wind broke through the air and I shivered from the cold temperature, which he seemed to notice. “Let’s get you home,” he stated grimly.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to find Keiran gone. His side of the bed was warm which meant he hasn’t been gone long. Resigned to an early start, I let my feet sink into the plush carpet and made my way to the bathroom deciding that a hot soak was needed to relax my tired muscles.