Fear and Aggression (11 page)

Knowing that Alleff was doing fine, and that
Prianna had likely ruined that topic of conversation, Aspiria chose
to begin the visit’s conversation in a new direction. “Bellerie,
you gave such a beautiful lesson at church this week. I’ve had it
on my mind throughout this week. It is both exhilarating and
heart-wrenching to think of our Savior’s life and atonement. I
struggle to imagine a people like His people; a people that could
witness His example, His miracles, and of whom His Apostles were,
yet, at the same time, a people that could take the life of our
God.”

“
Horrific, horrific how
they killed Him, nailing him up on a cross, and letting him hang
there,” interjected Prianna while shaking her head.

“
Yes, but that is not to
be dwelt upon. We must consider his resurrection, and his paying
the full price of sin and our infirmities,” added Bellerie, wanting
to both cut off Prianna, and begin talking herself. “I don’t know
how one could witness it, but we must consider it, and sometimes
even think on the unpleasant portions.” With a degree of emotion
beginning to be apparent, she continued, “I know that I will see my
Laytoin again, and that he will live again. I feel so appreciative
that I will be able to be with him and my boys forever. That
incomprehensible event had to occur, and I am so thankful for
it.”

“
How long has it been
since Laytoin died? Do you think of him and miss him every day?”
Prianna’s interviewing began again.

Bellerie had some soft tears falling, and
did not begin an immediate answer. Aspiria began again to move the
conversation away. “I brought some fresh vegetables from my garden.
I didn’t think that you had a chance to go to the market yesterday.
“

Prianna was a bit irritated in being
ignored, but not for long. She too was pleased to have Aspiria
present, and enjoyed her conversation. She considered Aspiria one
of her dearest friends. Bellerie and Aspiria began looking at the
vegetables, and Prianna took a few deep breaths and relaxed. She
was listening to the children playing outside, and felt a little
pang in her heart. She loved children, and struggled deeply inside
that she did not have any of her own. Listening to the Lodophin
children play did indeed cause a pang in her heart, but it also
brought joy. She enjoyed those hearty and rambunctious children.
Sometimes pleasure and pain are simultaneous, like listening to a
beautiful yet haunting song in a minor key. Prianna’s life had been
lived in a minor key, but she had learned to be happy and
appreciate the subtle discord. Still, she longed for children, to
rear and to love. Her husband also longed for children, and she
sensed this with a lingering uneasiness. They loved each other, but
both felt an emptiness and piece of life that was missing.

Aspiria and Bellerie were laughing and
enjoying a light conversation. Aspiria began to sense that Prianna
was alienated, and knew that she would be hurt. She glanced over,
and saw a melancholy look in Prianna’s eyes. “Prianna, I’ll be
going to market in a bit. I’d love your company, if you can come.”
Prianna was disengaged, but not actually alienated from the
conversation. It took her a moment to take in the invitation.

“
That sounds nice,” she
said with a smile. Aspiria knew that she was alright, and decided
to linger a bit longer with Bellerie. For Prianna’s part, she did
not want to leave directly. The sound of the children’s voices was
temporarily satiating a hunger inside of her. About a quarter of an
hour later, Aspiria and Prianna were hugging and saying their
goodbyes to Bellerie. Bellerie was fine, and so were Aspiria and
Prianna. “I was worried sick that anything may have happened to
Alleff,” began Prianna. “He is so adorable.”

“
Those boys are tough,”
laughed Aspiria. Prianna was not in the laughing mood. She
continued to chatter about the boys. Aspiria just listened. She
could tell that Prianna loved those boys. She knew of Prianna’s
desire for children, and knew how that longing felt. The two ladies
walked, and Prianna talked. For Prianna, it seemed a short walk to
the market. For Aspiria, it felt a bit longer, but she knew that
she was doing what her friends needed her to do that
day.

“
Oh—hi, Steve. Who’s
flying this thing?” Tammy asked, concerned.

“
Merick; it’s his first
time flying solo,” Steve replied confidently. Tammy was not so
convinced. For a few moments there was an awkward silence. In this
shift, only three crew members were awake: Tammy, Steve, and Bob.
Up until today, Bob and Steve were always on the deck together as
Bob finished his navigator and flight training. It had taken longer
than was typical for a new navigator, but Bob progressed in his
training, and Steve never expected him to be his star student.
Steve inspected the lab, and brought communications as often as
possible to Tammy. Spending time alone together was rare, and
short—official business only. Their relationship was simmering, but
it had not been possible, up until this point, to bring it to a
boil. Now, for the first time, they could be alone for several
hours and there was no reason to expect an interruption.

Steve did not enter the lab with any pretext
of inspections or official communications. Neither he nor Tammy
knew how to begin the conversation. She instinctively came up
close, and leaned into Steve’s shoulder. Steve put his arm around
her shoulder, and whispered that he was happy to have some time
with her. She smiled, gently snuggling up closer to him. Her long,
red, curly hair had a lovely scent from her perfumed shampoo. He
breathed in deeply, and felt both a peace and excitement in her
warmth and softness. Tammy looked up into his eyes, with a serious
but gently expression. Steve stared back, and then leaned in for
the kiss. It was soft, but lingering. Tammy’s expression turned to
a smile.

Steve caught her glancing over to the side
of the lab. He first thought that he may have interrupted something
important in her work. Then he saw where she had glanced. It was at
the only decent chair in the lab. Tammy would have loved to sit on
a couch with him, but none existed. Steve took Tammy by the hand
towards the chair. He sat down, and helped her onto his lap. She
sat sideways and rested her head on his left shoulder, turning her
head so that they could peer into each other’s eyes. For a long
while they sat and look at each other, noticing every expression
and contour of each other’s faces. Steve brought his right hand up
to her left cheek and touched her gently with the back of his
fingers. He allowed his hand to go back into her hair, and gently
ran his fingers through it. They were each mesmerized in each
other’s beauty and uniqueness.

Tammy loved Steve’s eyes. They were the
brightest blue, and shined particularly brightly against his light
complexion and blond hair. His face showed both youth and
innocence, mixed with boldness and confidence. She felt fully
supported in his muscular build; his strength made her feel both
light and delicate. She was conscious of how much he adored her at
this instance. She felt completely beautiful. She wanted to kiss
him, but didn’t want to lose the sight of his handsome face for an
instant. She felt his hand go around the back of her head, and
gently pull her head towards his. Both of their eyes instinctively
closed as they kissed.

***

“
Where is Captain
Jenners?” injected James into the peaceful silence that Bob had
been enjoying for the past several hours. James seemed excited,
almost panting as he walked in and began looking around like he had
misplaced something.

“
I don’t know, James,
what’s up?” he asked smiling.

“
Where are we?”

“
On the deck,” Bob said
sarcastically.

“
Where is this ship? I
mean
right now
,
where exactly is this ship?” James continued looking around
frantically, practically vibrating with excitement.

“
Uh…”

“
Where is Captain Jenners?
How long ago did he leave the deck?”

“
I haven’t seen him since
the start of the shift,” Bob said as casually as he could. He felt
a little bit of pride swell within him as he said it. He hadn’t
really caught on to the level of James’ concern. Bob knew that
James would know it was his first time flying. He hoped the
conversation would turn to this subject and lighten up
significantly.

“
What, you’ve been flying
it these past several hours?”

“
Yep.” He could feel the
pride swelling.
Here comes the
‘congratulations’, and ‘how was it
?’

“
Then where are we? Where
is this ship right now?” James almost shouted. Bob didn’t even get
an, “Um,” out. “Where is Captain Jenners? He needs to be on deck
right now!
Call him
!”

Bob felt deflated, irritated, and
disrespected. He was the third in command. But he picked up the
intercom and called, “Captain Jenners, you are wanted on the flight
deck,” in a calm and annoyed tone.

James was frustrated in the lack of urgency
with which the call went out. He almost went to the intercom to
redo the call, with the appropriate level of urgency and
franticness, but thought better of it. Instead he went to the
instruments, and began reading and typing. Mike walked in. “Hey
guys, what’s going on?”

Bob opened his mouth, hoping to find someone
more interested in his accomplishment. Before the words could come
out, James interjected, “Merick’s been flying these past few hours,
and I don’t know where the Captain is.” James was obviously
distracted, and did not turn around to look at Mike. Mike lifted
his eyebrows and turned to look at Bob. He, too, was ready to say
something to Bob, when James started up again. “Somethin’s wrong. I
don’t know where we are. We are not on course. I saw somethin’. I
heard somethin.” Footsteps could be heard approaching. “Is that
Captain Jenners?”

“
No, it’s me,” Kenny said
as he entered the deck.

“
We are not on course. We
need to figure out where we are.” Both Mike and Kenny looked
concerned and headed over to James. Bob was turning red. Whether it
was from embarrassment or anger even he couldn’t tell. Ironically,
the navigator, who had been flying the ship, was not being
consulted as to where they were, or how they had gotten there. “I
saw somethin’ and it just isn’t right. We passed by a star and a
planet—way too close; we weren’t supposed to go that near to
anythin’. I put my readings on the planet, and I saw
somethin’.”

Everyone’s ears perked up. Even Bob began to
understand. Just then Steve entered the deck. He walked in quietly,
while everyone’s attention was diverted.

“
What’s all the fuss up
here?”

Everyone turned towards their Captain. Steve
had a look of annoyance on his face that was unknown to any of the
crew. Mike, who knew him the longest, had never seen that look on
Steve’s face. He was unkempt, like he had just gotten up from a
nap.

“
Captain Jenners, we are
off-course,” James began.

“
Merick, what’s going on?”
Steve said more sternly than was his way. Bob did not want the
discussion going his way just yet. He didn’t answer immediately,
hoping that James would keep going on with the message that he was
relaying before the Captain came in.

But all eyes were now on Bob. “Captain,
James says we are off course, but as far as I know, I have flown
just right.” The Captains and the crew’s eyes turned towards
James.

“
Captain, we just passed
by—I mean
close by
—a star and a planet.”

“
We are not charted to go
close by anything!” Steve exclaimed.

“
Yes, sir, that is what
I’m sayin’. But we did; so, I knew we were off course,” James
explained

“
Kenny, we’ve got to get
on course. Figure out what is going on. Who knows what we could be
heading towards? Mike, you take over navigation, and make sure that
nothing is in our way, imminently.” Kenny and Mike began directly.
Steve turned towards Bob, but was interrupted by James.

“
Captain, there’s more.”
He waited a moment for Steve’s attention to turn towards him. “I
got some readin’s of the planet. It was lucky, and I didn’t have
much time. But I saw somethin’. It’s goin’ to sound crazy, but it
was there.“ Steve continued his eye contact but did not say
anything or show any expression.

“
Captain, that planet had
AC.”

“
You can get readings on
air conditioning,” Bob spoke up.

“
Alternating current, sir;
that planet had alternating current. I know it sounds crazy. I
wouldn’t make it up.”

“
How long ago was this
James?” It was clear that Captain Jenners’ wheels were turning. His
demeanor was noticeably different. It’s one thing to be the
Captain; it’s another thing to be in ‘uncharted waters’ and facing
unaccountable circumstances.

“
Maybe ten or fifteen
minutes, sir. As soon as I was out of range, I came running up here
looking for you. I didn’t know why we were off-course, and I knew
we could be in danger. But I also knew that I had found what we
were looking for.”

“
Are we off-course,
Kenny?” asked Steve.

“
Yes, I believe so. Yes,
we are off-course, but I’m not sure how long or how far we have
gotten, yet. I’ll give you an update ASAP.”