Fear and Aggression (7 page)

For the next forty-five minutes they
continued to pore over their mission notes, and discuss the
details. James’ spirits were lifted as they joked and commented
together. A feeling of camaraderie was there, and a general sense
that this crew would work well together seemed to be felt by
all.

“
Well, it's about 6:30, so
I think I will go introduce myself to the rest of the crew and give
them their papers,” Steve said, getting up.

“
You’d better go see Bob
and Danny first,” said Kenny. “Civilians don’t have to be up so
early, and a young lady might not appreciate the first interview
with her Captain if it’s before she’s made herself up for the
day.”

“
Alright, well, we’ll see
you all at 4:00 for our crew meeting.”

“
Sounds good Captain” and
“See you later” rang the chorus.

“
Aren’t you the lucky one?
Captain comes by first thing in the morning to let you know you’re
in his crew. And wow, is he cute! All I get is some papers in the
slot saying be here at such-and-such time,” exclaimed Mary, Tammy’s
roommate.

“
I saw him in the corridor
yesterday, and it looked like he was checking me out,” Tammy
returned.

“
This is getting good; do
you think our young Captain pulled some strings to get you on his
crew?”

“
I hope not, look where
we’re going. It’s uncharted and unanalyzed. We’re basically heading
out into the middle of nowhere. What are the chances that we’ll run
into some little green men out there?”

“
Who cares about little
green men when you’re out there with a man like that?”

“
He is cute, isn’t he? I
guess that’s the consolation for being sent on an analyzing mission
instead of an exploring mission. I just feel that my extraordinary
talents are being wasted,” Tammy quipped and both women started
giggling.

“
It’s so weird, we get all
of this elaborate training, get all of this expensive equipment,
and go on an amazing adventure to the far reaches of the universe;
they spend all of this money, and for all we know it may all just
be rocks, and burning gas except on little ol’ planet earth," Mary
said, feeling enlightened and philosophical. “And where are you,
Ms. Rogers? Here we are on stardust 20, but your eyes are even
farther away.”

Tammy’s beautiful sapphire
eyes
were
focused
a million miles away, outside the window. She stayed there, silent
and wondering for a moment; then the gleam came back into her eyes
and a smile transformed her countenance. She looked over at Mary,
and then back away with the dreamy look again. “I really want there
to be something out there. And I want to find it. I’ve always had
this—I don’t know—dream, or hope, that I would be the first to
discover something. You know, me in the lab, and here’s something
new—completely new. And no one in the world knows it at all, but
me. And for those few seconds, or minutes, or hours, I have it
alone. To know something that no one else knows. Can’t you imagine
that feeling, that realization? Some life form, with
characteristics, different, and unimagined; and me there—unraveling
the mysteries of existence.” She turned to Mary with a big smile,
looking directly in her eyes, and then widening her own as if to
say, “Cool, huh!”

“
Wow, Tammy, that does
sound cool. I’ve never thought of that before. I’d probably just
scream, and then spill the beans to the first person I see,” Mary
said, looking up at the ceiling, and then with a laugh, “I can see
it now. You discover the secret of alien life, and then you go up
to that cute Captain of yours, and say, ‘I know something you don’t
know, na na na na na na,’ and you've got him wrapped around your
finger.” They both started laughing boisterously; both of them
lying on their backs on their beds, they stared out their window
with wonderment and some nervous anticipation about their upcoming
adventures. Tammy, feeling disappointed and excited all at once,
allowed her emotions to multitask for a while. Mary was feeling
excited for her friend, and jealous. But that combination of
feelings was not so incompatible, nor singular. They both lay there
in silence, in their own little worlds, but in some sense bonding.
It could be a long time before either of them would be able to bond
with another member of the same sex, in this same way.

The door opened and a tired older man walked
into the room. He had on jeans, a rugged button-up collared shirt,
and an old baseball cap. He’d spent most of his life as a bread
truck delivery driver, so 3:30 AM was nothing new, but 2:30 PM was
now a time of exhaustion for this sixty-eight-year-old formerly
retired man.

“
Hey, Markey, you mind
turnin’ that down some?”

“
Hey, Gramps,” Mark
mustered lazily as he barely turned the volume down.

“
What you been up to; last
day of summer, ain’t it?”

“
Nothin’.”

“
D’you check
email?”

“
No, not yet.”

The older man disappeared for a while in the
direction of his bedroom, while Mark continued to brain drain in
front of the tube.

Ryan Rickson, Mark’s maternal grandfather,
had been his caretaker for the past four years. He had lost his
wife to cancer about twenty years ago, and had lived alone for a
long time. About five years ago he went into retirement with no
clear objective, other than not working. It had been a painfully
boring year—primarily occupying himself with television—but would
become only painful when the accident happened. Mark’s parents and
two older sisters were returning from a day trip in the evening. A
car with an extremely intoxicated driver hit them squarely on the
driver’s side and both cars went off of the embankment into a lake.
It was in a very rural area, and there were apparently no witnesses
to the accident. In addition the road was in terrible repair, so
that the effects of the accident were not obvious to anyone
casually driving down the road. The drunken man and the four family
members were all killed; no one was found for three days. Mark’s
father and one of his sisters likely died instantly on impact. His
mother and other sister may have lived for a short while, but were
not likely conscious, as there was no apparent attempt of
escape.

Mark had been with his older brother Steve
at the time. Steve had been away for a while for his Space Force
training, and had returned that summer for a short while. Mark
looked up to Steve immensely, so Steve had planned an entire day
together. Fishing and boating, and a little bit of basketball mixed
in. They had been up watching movies, and were very concerned that
the family had not shown up from the trip. At three AM Steve had
called the police, and then everyone he could think of. For three
days they had no answers, until a phone call detailing the accident
came from the police.

Steve had to arrange with the Space Force
for an extended leave while he made preparations for Mark. Grandpa
Rickson quickly volunteered to be Mark’s caretaker, and within the
week had come out of retirement to increase his means, as he knew
his retirement would not be sufficient to raise a growing boy.

Mark’s memory of the time was about as
bitter-sweet as possible. He had spent what seemed to the best day
of his life with his older brother, and then the state of confusion
for several days, followed by moving away and in with his grandpa.
Although he loved his grandpa, he felt a terrible loneliness, and
longing to be with his sisters and parents.

Grandpa Rickson also felt the terrible pangs
of losing his only child. But after the acute phase of grief
passed, he felt happier than he had in years with Mark in his home,
and being back at work. He had felt a great concern of inadequacy,
but he was a man with a sense of duty. Still, there was a lot of
adjusting for two people thrown together amidst dreadful grief.
Grandpa Rickson, unlike Mark’s father, was not a man of many words,
nor was he affectionate like Mark’s mother. He was not fun-loving
like Mark’s sisters, and indeed did not have much of a concept of
life outside of working and television. He did like baseball, and
he had always wanted a boy to throw the ball around with. So for a
little while he would take Mark out in the apartment parking lot
and throw a ball. This was past him now, as his body was not up to
it, and he used the excuse that he was afraid they may break
something in the parking lot.

Although Mark didn’t think on his
circumstances much, being the last day of summer, he was reminded
of the limited experience he was having; no trips, no siblings
around, very few activities, and his sense of emptiness and
loneliness was evident in the melancholy state he was in.

“
Hey, Markey,” Grandpa
shouted in an unusually enthusiastic manner from his room. “Come
‘ere, look’t this.”

Mark, feeling the fatigue of inactivity, and
being zoned out with music and daydreaming, almost answered back,
“Come here and tell me,” but since Grandpa sounded unusually
excited, he decided to drag his tired body into Grandpa’s room.

“
What’s up,
Gramps?”

“
Steve’s got his mission
and all.”

“
Where to?” Mark
interrupted.

“
Dunno, but he’s callin’
us...I think this afternoon, lookee ‘ere.”

“
What? Oh, cool! Yeah,
he’s gonna call any minute. Wow, they let Captains do anything.”
Adrenaline began to seep into his veins, and he could feel a touch
of lightheadedness. He sat on the bed and just smiled while
Grandpa, feeling excited himself, continued to go through
email.

“
I’ll answer and talk for
just a couple of minutes, then’ll let ya finish up his fifteen
minutes. All right, Markey?” No answer followed, as both of them
pricked their ears in anticipation of the phone ringing.

After a few minutes of silent anticipation
the phone rang, and Mark got up instinctively—like a track runner
to the sound of a gun—and answered the phone. “Hello? Hey, Steve!”
As he saw his Grandpa’s irritated look, he remembered the deal.
“Gramps wants to say hi for a minute,” and he handed him the
phone.

“
Hi, Steve, good ta ‘ere
from ya. You doin’ alright up ther’?”

“
I'm doing great, Grandpa.
How are you and Mark getting along?”

“
Just fine. Just fine. So
what’s yer mission gonna be, eh?”

“
We’re going into an
unanalyzed region. I’ve got a great crew. I'm real
excited.”

“
We’re shore proud’ve ya,
Steve. You'll do real well now. ‘Ere’s Markey, so goodbye now.”
Ryan would have loved to talk to Steve for a little while longer,
but he knew that Mark was dying for the phone, and fifteen minutes
is nothing on a phone call to a loved one that hasn’t been seen by
his family for a while.

“
Hey, Steve, man, you’re a
Captain. What’s it like?”

“
It’s great, I’m pretty
excited. How are you doing?”

“
Alright, I start back at
school tomorrow. So that bites.”

“
I hear you. Did you have
a good summer?”

“
No, I didn’t do anything.
So, what’s your crew like? Do you have any babes on
board?”

Chuckling, Steve replied, “We’ve got one
woman on board. She’s in charge of medical and research.”

“
So she’s your alien
dissector; cool. But is she a babe? The chick that’s the alien
dissector in the Space Patrol is pretty hot!”

Steve grinned. “Oh, Mark, you make me laugh.
Last time I talked with you, you didn’t even know what girls
were.”

“
I can see you’re ducking
the question,” Mark stated, feeling grown-up.

“
Yeah, she’s a babe. I
think I’ve got a great crew—probably the best pilot, and engine
specialist, and computer specialist around. This girl is supposed
to be top-notch in research, too.”

“
Awesome. You’ve got one
of those new ships, don’t you? Everyone here says they’re designed
to really study aliens.”

“
We’ve got to find some
aliens first. This mission we're being sent to is an area that’s
completely unknown. We’ll be really starting from scratch. But who
knows, if there
is
something out there, I’ve got the crew to find it. It’s
pretty exciting just to be a part of this. I’ve seen some amazing
things out here. But after all we’ve seen, and all the places we’ve
been, so far, there’s nothing to indicate other life out here. Some
guys really think we’ll find something soon. I just don’t know.
It’s so quiet out here, you know? I'll tell you one thing though;
if there is intelligent life out there and we don’t find them, if
they ever go looking for us, they won’t have any trouble. All the
things we’re looking for them with, electromagnetic signals, or
just signs of being around and doing things, well, we’ve left our
mark,” Steve said contemplating.

“
Whoa, that’s a scary
thought.”

“
I don’t mean it that way.
I’m just saying that if some other intelligent beings were out
patrolling the universe, you would think that there would be some
evidence. It seems that either there is no one else running around
out here, or else they are keeping themselves
well-hidden.”