FBI Agent's Reluctant Lover (5 page)

When he spied Rachel leaning on the couch, eyes closed in sleep, he decided to forego knocking on the door, not wanting to disturb her. He tried to doorknob, alarmed to see that she hadn’t even locked the front door before falling asleep. They would definitely have to discuss personal safety before he left.

Opening the door, he quietly entered the house, setting down the papers and mail on the hallway table. He checked on Rachel and found her gently snoring, the dark circles under her eyes even more pronounced than the last time he had seen her.

He checked the playpen, and finding it empty, headed down the hallway. Both boys were asleep in their cribs, lying on their stomachs, little bottoms in the air as they pulled their knees under them.

Satisfied that no one was injured or sick, he returned to the living room, gently calling Rachel’s name to wake her up.

Rachel heard the man’s voice in her sleep. She’d been hearing that same voice for the last several days and a frown formed on her brow as she tried to deal with the disappointment that would come with opening her eyes and finding herself alone, once again.

When a hand touched her shoulder, she jerked awake, opening her eyes to stare into the concerned gaze of the face she had been dreaming about. Reaching out her hand, she murmured, “You’re here.”

Chance wasn’t sure if she was still half-asleep, but when she reached for him, he sat down on the edge of the couch, wanting her touch more than his next breath. “Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay?” Chance let his hand cup her cheek while he tried to see the answer to his question in the depths of her emerald green eyes.

Rachel leaned into his touch for the briefest of moments before pushing him away and sitting up straighter. Cocking her head to the side, she listened for sounds that would indicate the babies were awake. Hearing nothing, she let herself relax back against the couch again. Closing her eyes, she asked him softly, “How did you get in here?”

“You left the front door unlocked.”

“Why are you here?” Rachel kept her eyes closed, listening to the low timbre of his voice, and trying to memorize it for later use in her dreams.

“Rachel, open your eyes.”

“Why?” she said sleepily. Maybe if he left she could actually get a few minutes of sleep before the babies woke up.

Chance watched her for several seconds, angry that she had let herself get so run down and not asked for help. When her stomach rumbled loudly, he grimaced and asked, “When was the last time you ate anything?”

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. I had a spoonful of peanut butter sometime this morning. The babies sleep patterns are all off. This is the first time in days they’ve both decided to sleep at the same time.” She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see the censure in his eyes she was sure was there. She already knew she was failing in her role of single mother, she didn’t need to see the affirmation in his eyes.

Chance’s eyes held only concern for her. She was running herself ragged and being stubborn was only causing her further stress. “You need some help.”

Rachel was almost asleep and murmured softly, “Chelsea was all I had. I can do this. I just have to try harder.” The last sentence was mumbled and with a sigh, she drifted back to sleep while Chance watched.

Picking her up in his arms, he carried her down the hallway to her bedroom. He removed her clothing down to her underwear, trying to be a gentleman and remain detached. That was a pipe dream and he found himself staring down at the body that had haunted his dreams for the last several nights.

After pulling a blanket over her, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Rachel murmured in her sleep and it took everything within him to walk out of the bedroom and leave her lying there alone.

Chance used the time between moving Rachel and when Tony woke up to pick up the house and start a pot of soup on the stove. He made a loaf of bread and left it rising in the warm oven while he changed the baby’s diaper and placed a call to Seth.

“Hey, bro. Did you get ahold of Rachel? Chelsea’s about to go crazy with worry.”

“I’m over here now. Rachel’s exhausted, but don’t tell Chelsea that. I put her to bed and I’ll stick around as long as I need to.”

“Thanks man. I’ll pass the good news along. We’ll be back in a few days. Did Trent get ahold of you?”

“Not yet. What’s up?”

“They’re having a homecoming party for Brianna and baby Faith. I was told that you are expected and are welcome to bring someone with you. Several
someone’s would be acceptable too.”

Chance was quiet. He had been careful to hide his attraction to Rachel from his brother.
Had Shawn said something to Seth?

“Chance, did you hear me?”

“Yeah. When is this taking place?”

“Four days from now. Chelsea’s agreed to try staying at my place a few nights a week, but she doesn’t want to move all of her stuff until we see if things are going to work out between us.”

“So, what, you’re going to take turns sleeping in each other’s beds?” Chance asked.

“No. We’re going to stay at my place, but she’s also welcome to sleep at Rachel’s whenever she needs to. I don’t like it, but I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give me right now. Anyway, Trent said the party’s going to be casual.”

“Okay, I’ll make time to be there.” Chance wondered if Rachel would enjoy getting out of the house and being around other adults. They could take the boys with them, as there would be plenty of people around to hold and spoil them. He stopped himself as he realized what he was doing – he was already thinking of he and Rachel as a couple. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His brain needed to slow down!

“So, you thinking of seeing if the chemistry between you and Chelsea’s sister has anywhere to go?”

“Have you been talking to Shawn?” Chance demanded.

Seth chuckled, “Just for a few minutes. Anyway, don’t sweat it. From all that Chelsea’s told me, Rachel’s a great girl, she just got dealt a bum hand. She hardly ever speaks about her deceased husband, and Chelsea would love to see her move on.”

“I’ll see what I can do about that. She’s pretty amazing, but stubborn.”

“From what Chelsea tells me, Rachel has always been very independent and a take charge type of person. With the babies and then her husband’s death, she feels like she’s lost control of her life. Chelsea told me she had a serious case of postpartum depression about a month after the babies were born and has been having trouble getting her life reorganized since then.”

“She’s trying, I can tell. I think keeping up with two babies would wear anyone out. She’s definitely in need of some pampering and relaxation. I’m going to make arrangements to stick around for a while, at least until you all get home.”

“Great! We’ll see you in a couple of days then.” Chance could hear Chelsea saying something in the background and then Seth came back on the line, “Chelsea wants me to tell you that you shouldn’t listen to her sister if she tries to run you off. She seems to think that since her husband died, it’s her duty to remain faithful to his memory and live a lonely life from here on out. I guess what that means is that even if she’s attracted to you, she’s going to fight it if she’s thinking straight.”

“Tell Chelsea thanks for the tip, but I already figured that one out. Rachel wants to move on with her life, but isn’t sure she’d be doing the right thing. She piles the guilt upon herself for any moment of joy she feels.”

“Now you sound like a profiler. Don’t screw this up, bro. Think about how awkward family get together’s are going to be in the future if you and Rachel crash and burn and have to play nice in the sandbox for major holidays.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. See you in a few days.” Chance disconnected the call before Seth could issue any more warnings to him. He planned to take things as slowly as needed with Rachel. Yes – she had been through a lot, but he wanted to help ease her burdens, not add to them.

After speaking with Seth, Chance placed a call to Shawn and let him know he was going to be off the clock for the next few days. Shawn asked for details and Chance gave him what he could. When Shawn offered to come over later that evening with Janet and watch the twins for a couple of hours, Chance readily agreed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to convince mama to leave her little ones with strangers, but he was going to give it a try.

Chance took the soup off the stove and let it cool. Dinner out of the house sounded better and the soup and bread would keep until lunch the next day. He kept a watchful eye on Rachel the rest of the afternoon, taking care of the boys, feeding them, changing them, and playing with them. They were curious little tikes and both on the verge of crawling. Chance laughed, as they would balance on their tiny hands and knees, only to collapse minutes later onto their stomachs.

Tony and David were smart and after failing to reach for the toys Chance kept placing in front of them, quickly learned that they could roll to the toys just as easy. Chance was still laughing at their antics when Rachel awoke.

“What’s going on in here?” came her voice from the hallway entrance.

Chance turned his head and gave her a dazzling smile, “Sleeping beauty awakens.” Seeing the blush rise in her cheeks at his compliment, he made a mental note to compliment her more often.

Rachel looked down as her cheeks flamed.
What was it about this guy that turned her inside out with just a look or a simple comment?
Shaking her head, she entered the room in time to see David roll over to reach the toy in his sights. Gasping, she asked, “How did he learn to do that?”

Chance watched as he answered, “He’s brilliant. I was trying to entice them to crawl for the toys, but after several unsuccessful attempts to stay on their knees, this was their solution. Tony figured it out first and David followed.”

“Wow!” Rachel kneeled down on the floor by the boys and bussed first one, and then the other, on their tiny stomachs, eliciting smiles and babbling.

“Rachel?”

When she looked up, she found herself caught in his stare, and close enough to smell his unique scent. It went straight to her core, igniting the smoldering flame left by his kiss from days before. Sitting back on her heels, she watched him silently.

“I think I know why you didn’t call for help. You’re not used to being this out of control. That stubborn streak of yours is demanding that you rise to the occasion and handle this situation like everything else.”

Rachel was shocked that he had read her so easily. “I don’t…”

“Hey!” Chance stopped her defensive statement, “I’m not here to pass judgment. I’m here as a friend to help out. It’s not a sign of weakness to take help when it’s offered. It’s not a sign of failure to ask for help when things get to be too much.”

Rachel looked down at her hands, she knew he was right, but she couldn’t find the words to tell him. She had thought of calling him several times over the past few days, just to hear another human voice, but instead had dialed the time and temperature recording, holding onto the adult recorded voice like a lifeline.

She needed contact with another human being, one that didn’t demand to be changed or fed every couple of hours. One that could hold up their end of a conversation. She let her eyes track up his body as he reclined on the floor near the babies.
One that could hold her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.

That thought startled her and she rose to her feet, needing to move and put more distance between them. Watching her eyes, Chance had seen the desire and longing in them, just before she closed down and quickly gained her feet. Whatever that last thought was, she had turned her emotions off pretty damn quick. “Where are you going?”

“Uhm… I thought… I mean… have you already fed the boys?”

Chance nodded at her and lithely rose to his feet, taking a step closer to her so that only a few feet separated them. “I fed them about half an hour ago. Carrots and applesauce.”

“Oh.” She felt defeated and nervous. “Okay. Was there a reason you stopped by?”

“Rachel, don’t.” He took another step closer and lifted a hand to her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Don’t try and shut me out. You needed some help and I gave it to you. Chelsea was worried about you and asked me to check in with you. When you didn’t return my phone calls, I decided to come over and make sure everything was okay. No big deal, okay?”

Rachel looked at him and nodded, “Okay. Thanks.”

Stepping away from her, he dropped his hand from her chin and announced, “You have,” consulting his watch, “approximately thirty minutes to shower and change before my boss and his wife arrive.”

Puzzled, she asked, “Why are they coming to my house?”

“They are going to watch the boys for a few hours while you and I go have some adult time.”

Rachel had already begun to shake her head, “No way. I’m not leaving my babies with complete strangers. Not happening.” Even as she said the words, she wanted to pull them back and agree. She hadn’t been away from the babies since their birth and the idea of having dinner with another adult, without having to worry about the boys, sounded delicious and sooooo good. But her responsibilities as a mother had to come first. She couldn’t leave her children with strangers!

“Look, Shawn Marshall is my boss and his wife Janet absolutely loves children. Seth would vouch for them if he were here. Trent and Brianna Coldwell would also vouch for them. Would you like me to call either of them for you?”

Rachel struggled to keep her mind focused on what he was asking her, but the temptation to be alone with this gorgeous man had befuddled her brain. Having married her best friend and then boyfriend from high school, she felt very out of her depth with Chance. She had enjoyed the intimacy she had with Sam, but he had never made her heart beat erratically, or her breath catch in her throat. She had loved their intimate interludes, but had never wanted to rip his clothes off and drag him into the bedroom.
She seriously needed to get a grip on herself!