Fast Track (19 page)

He seemed to
hold his breath as he looked her in the eye. “I don’t think I’ve
ever been this scared in my life.” His chuckle escaped. “Damn it…”
He hung his head. “I’ve faced down death, and the thought of taking
the woman I love to bed is scaring the hell out of me.”

“It’s okay,”
she whispered, desperate to ease his discomfort. “We don’t have to
rush this.”

“I told you
about my problem… since the accident.” The color moved up his neck,
barely concealed by his summer tan. “Jesus, this is the last thing
I want to talk to you about right now. I want to believe it won’t
be an issue, but I’m afraid of disappointing you if I can’t… you
know.”

What happened
tonight wouldn’t change the way she felt about him, but she didn’t
know if his ego could withstand the blow. “Have you seen your
doctor since you returned to racing?”

“Yeah, same old
story. He said it’s my way of punishing myself for what happened to
Todd. Todd lost his life that day, his ability to experience
pleasure, and subconsciously, I’ve convinced myself I don’t deserve
to experience pleasure either because my actions caused his
accident.”

“But they
didn’t.” She’d watched footage from the accident online, and any
spectator could see it was simply two drivers striving for the same
goal. It wasn’t Justin’s fault any more than it was Todd’s fault.
“It was just that: an accident. You have to believe that, and you
have to find a way to let go of the guilt.”

He looked at
her a long time before he said, “The first time I met you, I
wondered how you could even stand to look at me after what I’d done
to one of my best friends. That’s how I felt at the time, like a
woman as sweet and beautiful as you wouldn’t even be able to stand
the sight of me.”

She stood on
her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck as she buried her
face in his shoulder. “That couldn’t have been further from the
truth.”

“You gave me my
sense of self back on that island, Anna. I figured if a girl like
you saw something good in me, maybe I wasn’t a lost cause after
all.”

“I can’t
believe you even thought that,” she whispered, hugging him
fiercely.

“I love you.”
He picked her up. “Not just because you give me hope. I love you
because of the way you make me feel about myself, Anna. You make me
a better man.”

She squeezed
her eyes shut, trying to suppress the tears.

“That’s what
love’s supposed to do, right?” he asked. “It’s supposed to make you
better together than you could ever be apart?”

He was so
right. Why hadn’t she been able to see that was missing with Tom?
“You do make me a better person,” she said, drawing her head back
to look him in the eye. “You don’t think my books are silly. You
don’t see my teaching as a temporary job. You know how much those
kids mean to me, each and every one of them.”

“If he couldn’t
see that, he was an idiot, baby.” He set her down and kissed her
until she ran out of breath.

“He doesn’t
matter anymore.” She ran a fingertip over his full lips. “You’re
the only thing that matters to me. I want to build a life with you,
Justin.”

“I want that
too.”

She squealed
when he picked her up. “What are you doing?”

“Lead me to the
bedroom, sweetheart. I’m tired of telling you how much I love you.
I’m ready to show you.”

***

Justin’s heart
hammered as he pulled on the string to loosen Anna’s pants. He’d
never wanted anything more than he wanted her. He just prayed his
mind and body were in sync because he would be devastated if he
couldn’t give her what she needed from him.

Anna peeled her
tank top off, slowly tossing it aside as she watched him watching
her.

There was no
question his body was responding. His only concern was whether he
would be able to go the distance. Steering her toward the bed, he
came down on top of her, kissing her, touching her, getting his
fill of the body he’d wanted since the first time he laid eyes on
her.

“Get
undressed,” she whispered, reaching for his shirt. “I want to watch
you.”

Hours in the
gym every week meant Justin had never been shy about his body. The
soft glow of the bedside lamp offered just enough light for him to
continue to admire her. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, tossing
his shirt on the ground when he reached the last button. “I can’t
believe you’re mine.”

Without taking
her eyes off him, she said, “Don’t give me that, Hunt. I saw some
of your dates on the Internet. Actresses, models… they were so
beautiful and sexy. I’m nothing like that.”

“You’re sexier
than any one of them,” he said, reaching for his belt buckle. “You
love me in spite of the fact I’m Justin Hunt, the race car driver,
not because of it. You don’t care who my parents are or how much I
made in endorsement deals last year. You like me for me, and I
can’t tell you how nice that is.” It was one of the many reasons
Justin knew she was the woman for him. “You’re beautiful from the
inside out, Anna.” He let his pants fall to the ground.

“No one has
ever said that to me before.” Her eyes widened as he stripped off
his undergarments.

Justin loved
her innocence, her unjaded view of life. She appreciated the simple
things, and having her in his life inspired him to appreciate them
too. “Then you were dating the wrong men. They didn’t appreciate
you. I do. And I always will.”

She sighed
before a smile lit up her face. “I don’t think I could ever get
tired of hearing that.” She closed her eyes briefly before opening
them when he crawled on top of her.

“Good, ‘cause
I’ll never get tired of reminding you.” He leaned in, kissing a
path from her earlobe, down her neck, across her collarbone to her
shoulder. The way she squirmed beneath him told Justin she wasn’t
used to a man taking his time pleasuring her. He made it his
mission to make up for the mistakes of the last loser who’d shared
her bed.

Hovering with
his mouth just above her breasts, he smiled when she threaded her
hands through his hair, trying to guide him. “Are you trying to
tell me something, sweetheart?”

“Justin…”

The warning in
her voice made him smile. She was just as anxious as him. Flicking
his tongue over the taut peak, he was devouring her before long.
His plan to take it slow ceased to matter as she urged him on with
soft moans and gyrating hips.

“Do you have
protection?” he whispered as he tested his theory that she was more
than ready for him.

“Yes,” she
said, throwing her head back as she gripped his shoulders. “In the
nightstand drawer.”

Justin reached
over and withdrew a plastic square. Within seconds, he was poised,
ready to erase the worst months of his life as he found a new
beginning in the arms of the woman who loved him.

Gliding inside
of her was effortless, as though she held the secret to all of his
problems, physical and emotional. The reason why he could never
sustain a relationship became clear in the ecstasy he saw in her
eyes: He’d been waiting for her. His subconscious wouldn’t let him
settle for less. He hadn’t been able to make love to another woman
since the accident because his body knew better than he did. He
needed
her
help to heal, to release the burden of guilt, and
to trust that she could guide him toward happiness again.

As he made love
to her, he whispered, “You gave me my life back, Anna.”

She smiled as a
tear glided down her cheek. “I feel the same way.”

Justin closed
his eyes and submitted to a sense of inner peace he’d never known
in the arms of a woman. He didn’t know another person could make
him feel so… fulfilled. He’d thought the only thing that would ever
make him feel that way was drowning in champagne as he hoisted
racing’s big prize.

“Anna…” Her
name came out as a groan and a curse as he looked into her eyes.
She was already lost in the throes of her release. As he watched
her give herself over to him, he knew she was the only woman he
would ever want.

Her eyes grew
wider as he thrust into her one last time, barely able to support
his weight on trembling arms. “It doesn’t get any better than
this,” he said.

“No,” she
agreed, closing her eyes. “It doesn’t.”

The next morning,
Justin rolled over, pulling a sleepy Anna against his chest. “I’m
racing in Bristol tonight. You should come and watch.” He was
nervous about inviting her, but he knew she would have to get used
to races since they were a couple.

“I’d like to,
but my mama’s having a dinner party for this new TV broadcaster
she’s representing. Apparently, she’s from L.A., but she signed on
to host a show on the country music station here in Nashville.”

Kissing her
shoulder, Justin said, “That sounds like quite a leap.”

“Yeah, that’s
why my mama wants to do everything she can to make her feel at
home. She’s even invited her to stay as a guest at their house.”
Anna laughed. “That should last all of five minutes before the poor
girl decides she needs a little privacy. With all of Nick’s ranch
hands coming in and out of the main house all the time, she won’t
get five minutes peace.”

“What’s the set
up there anyway?” Justin asked. “Does your brother have his own
place?”

“God, yes! I
can’t imagine Nick still living under my parents’ roof. My parents
are pretty hard on him. They keep telling him he should find a nice
girl and settle down.”

“But he’s
younger than you, right?”

“Yeah, a few
years. But he’s the one who gave my parents their gray hairs. I
think they’re beginning to wonder whether he’ll ever finish sowing
his wild oats.”

Justin yawned
and rolled over onto his back, taking Anna with him. With her head
settled on his chest, he ran a hand up and down her bare arm. “Your
brother will find someone when the time’s right.” He kissed the top
of her head. “Just like I did. Hell, my parents thought they would
have to take drastic measures to find me a nice girl.”

Anna slid her
hand over his chest before looking up at him and batting her
eyelashes. “I’m glad it didn’t come to that. If they’d stepped in,
we may never have met.”

“Are you
kidding? You’re exactly the kind of girl they would have chosen.
It’s probably a good thing they didn’t meet you on the island while
you were engaged. They would have plotted to break you and Tom up
so I could have you.”

Anna laughed.
“I doubt that.”

“Speaking of
your ex…” Justin waited, hoping she would answer the question he
was almost embarrassed to ask. “Have you heard from him since you
left the island?”

“He’s called a
few times.”

The arm around
her tightened as Justin tried to force himself to sound nonchalant
when he asked, “What did he want?”

“Just to talk.
I guess he doesn’t have a lot of friends out there yet, and from
what he said, he’s not dating.”

“Why’s that? Is
he still hoping you’ll change your mind?” Just the thought of that
happening made Justin feel queasy.

“I don’t think
so. We had a good talk on the island. I think we both got the
closure we needed.”

Justin finally
felt like he had the reassurance he’d been waiting for. “That’s
what that teary good-bye was all about? Closure?”

“Sure,” she
said, tilting her head back to look at him, “what did you think it
was about?”

“I thought
maybe you still had feelings for him.” Justin knew it was time to
voice his fears. He didn’t want to feel insecure every time Anna
brought up her ex’s name.

“No!” She
propped her weight on one arm to look at him. “Is that why you
left?”

He shrugged,
refusing to look her in the eye. “I was already getting in pretty
deep by then. I didn’t want to get in any deeper if you still had a
thing for your ex.”

Anna giggled.
“I guess Lauren was right. She guessed that was the reason you left
the island so quickly.”

“Were you
disappointed I left?” Justin knew leaving was the right call. If
he’d stayed, he may never have returned to racing, and that wasn’t
the way he wanted to leave the sport he loved.

“Of course I
was. Why do you think I came home? I didn’t want to be there
without you.”

Justin smiled,
pulling her closer. “We’ll have to go back soon to make up for lost
time. Maybe Christmas break?” Normally he’d be scared of making
plans for months away, but with Anna, he couldn’t wait to start
planning for the future.

“That sounds
nice,” she said, smiling.

“Are you sure
you can’t make the race tonight?”

“As much as I’d
love to, I promised my parents I’d be there. Can I get a rain
check?”

“Do you want
one?” Justin didn’t expect her to love his sport, but he didn’t
want her to fear it either.

“Of course I
do.” She stroked the stubble on his jaw. “I love you, and that
means I want to share the things you love.” She shuddered
dramatically. “Even racing.”

He laughed as
he pulled her against him. “I’m glad to hear you say that. It won’t
be as bad as you think, I promise. In fact, you may even learn to
like it if you give it a chance.”

She raised an
eyebrow. “I’m not making any promises, but I will give it a
shot.”

“Does that mean
you’ll watch me tonight?”

Anna laughed.
“Company or no company, I can pretty much promise that daddy and
Nick will be glued to the TV set.”

“And you?”

“I’ll be right
there with them.”

***

Anna smiled
politely and tried to follow the conversation flowing around the
dinner table, but she couldn’t get her mind off the race starting
in less than an hour. She wondered if it would always be like that.
Would she ever get used to the idea of her boyfriend driving that
death trap?