Fast Track (14 page)

She should tell
him to leave, but she couldn’t find the words. Hooking her thumbs
through the belt loops on his faded designer jeans, she said, “We
could try to make this work, but today reminded me this just isn’t
the life I want.”

Disappointment
was evident in his dark eyes before he dropped his head. “I’m sorry
to hear that. I hoped you might feel differently when you saw how
much I love racing.”

“My heart is in
my throat just watching you race on TV. I was a fool to think I was
strong enough to watch it firsthand.”

He lifted his
head. “Why?”

She frowned.
“Why what?”

“Why are you so
worried if you don’t give a damn about me?”

Knowing he was
trying to force her to admit she had feelings for him, she pushed
out of his arms. “I never said I didn’t care whether you live or
die, Justin.”

“I’m not gonna
die.”

“You don’t know
that.”

“Neither do
you.” He sighed when she walked to the bed to retrieve her
suitcase.

Setting it on
the floor beside the door, she said, “My chances are significantly
less than yours. I happen to value my life.”

“I value life
too, Anna. That’s why I choose to live it.”

Tears sprung to
her eyes, probably because he was challenging her in a way she was
afraid to challenge herself. “I think you should go now. I have to
leave.”

“You don’t have
to leave. You’re choosing to leave. There’s a difference.” He raked
his hands through his stylishly cropped dark hair, lacing them
behind his head as he walked toward the window. “I’ve lived in fear
for the past couple of months, so I know what it’s like, but I sure
as hell can’t imagine living my entire life that way. It must be
hell.”

She resented
him for judging her, especially since he hit so close to the mark.
“I like my life-”

“No, you
don’t.” He turned to face her. “I may not have known you a long
time, but even I can see something’s missing. I look into your
beautiful eyes, and I see this longing that breaks my heart. I
think I’m drawn to you because my gut tells me I can help fill the
void in your life, but only if you’ll let me.”

He had a lot of
nerve, assuming he was the answer to her prayers. “I won’t.”

He tipped his
head back and stared at the ceiling. “Why the hell not?”

“I know what I
want in a man, and you’re not it, Justin.” She knew it was harsh,
but being direct seemed to be the only way to get through to
him.

“Is that so?”
Instead of looking affronted, he seemed curious. “Why don’t you
tell me what you want and why I’m not it?”

“I don’t think
so.” She reached for her suitcase. “I really should go.”

“You answer
those questions, and I promise I’ll never bother you again.”

She would never
admit that thought left her feeling empty. “Fine, you want to know
what I’m looking for in a man, I’ll tell you.” She set her suitcase
down. “I need someone who’s honest, trustworthy, dependable.” She
thought about the list in her journal. “He would have to love
children as much as I do.”

“What makes you
think I’m not all those things?”

His question
caught her off-guard. She hadn’t expected him to use her words
against her.

Justin took
advantage of her shocked silence. “I’ve never lied to you or any
other woman. My family would tell you I’d take a bullet for any one
of them, and my friends would tell you I’m the first guy they call
when they’re in trouble.” A slow smile spread across his face. “And
you have to see me with my nieces and nephews. They think I’m the
coolest uncle ever.”

She was falling
just a little deeper in
like
with Justin, and she couldn’t
let that happen. “That’s not all.” She looked him in the eye. “I
need a man who’s respectable and who shares my vision for the
future.”

“I may not be
all that respectable, but I’m not a loser, if that’s what you’re
getting at.”

Anna suddenly
realized she sounded as though she thought he wasn’t good enough
for her, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Stepping forward, she brushed her fingers across the stubble
covering his jaw. “You’re an incredible man. You’re strong and
sexy, handsome and driven. Rich, successful, charming…” She pressed
a tender kiss to his lips. “Many women would say you’re their ideal
partner.”

“But not you?”
He let his hands fall to his sides. “I get it. I’m not going to beg
you to feel something you don’t.”

She hated
hurting anyone, especially someone she cared about. “I’m sorry if I
hurt your feelings,” she said, running a hand through his hair.

He grabbed her
hand, holding it against his face as he turned his mouth into her
palm. “You didn’t hurt my feelings. You hurt my heart. There’s a
difference.”

Justin didn’t know why
he’d even bothered coming to the Hotshots head office for their
sales meeting.
Yes, he did.
Anna knew he was in Nashville,
and he held out hope she would call and ask to see him while he was
in town.

“What’s up with
you?” Deacon asked after their sales managers and associates had
cleared the boardroom.

Justin and
Deacon had been friends since college, which meant Deacon wouldn’t
be satisfied until he’d uncovered Justin’s problem.

“What makes you
think anything’s going on with me?”

“For starters,
you decided to get back out on the track sooner than planned. I
thought you said you were going to take the rest of the season off
to get your head together?”

“Turns out it
didn’t take as long as I thought. I came back when I was
ready.”

Once he met
Anna, Justin knew he would get in too deep if he stayed on the
island with her for the rest of the summer as planned. Going home
wasn’t an option unless he was prepared to man up and accept his
responsibilities, so the decision seemed like a no brainer.

Justin
continued, “It feels good to be racing again.” Racing made him feel
alive, but between the races, training, meetings with his team, and
sponsorship events, he still had too much time to think about
her
.

“Glad to hear
it.” Deacon stroked his dark goatee. “So, why do I get the feeling
something else is going on with you, something you’re not telling
me?”

“I don’t know.
Everything’s fine. It’s good.” Good may be a stretch, but his
friend didn’t have to know that. “I’m winning again. I’ve managed
to bury my demons, and that’s the only thing that matters,
right?”

“I don’t know.
Is it?”

Deacon got
married a few years after they graduated from college. He and his
wife, Mallory, had a beautiful baby girl. According to Deacon, all
Justin needed was the love of a good woman to complete his life.
Justin had always laughed at that, but since he met Anna, it didn’t
seem quite so outlandish.

“You know me,
man. Racing’s the only thing that matters.”

“Interesting.”
Deacon’s stare was penetrating, as though he was trying to read
Justin’s mind. “Why have you spent so much time in Nashville
lately?”

“I don’t know.”
Justin rubbed his hands over his face, wishing he could end the
interrogation. He feared Deacon would come at him again the next
day if he didn’t get the answers he was looking for though. “You’re
the one who’s always on me about making more time for our business.
Maybe I finally decided to start listening.”

Deacon
chuckled. “We both know that’s bullshit. You do what you wanna do.
Always have and I suspect you always will.”

“What’s your
point?”

“I want to know
the real reason you’ve been coming to Nashville so much the past
month or so.”

Knowing his
friend wouldn’t let it go, Justin sighed. “I met a girl who lives
here, all right?”

Deacon leaned
over the polished wood table and pushed his coffee mug aside. “Now
we’re getting somewhere. Tell me about her. She must be something
special if you’re willing to haul ass all the way to
Nashville.”

“I didn’t come
here today to see her. In fact, we’re not even seeing each other
anymore.”

“What the hell
happened?”

“She came to
the race in Jacksonville this weekend. It turns out she’s not much
of a fan.” That was putting it mildly. Most women were impressed by
his successful career, but Justin knew he would have a better shot
with Anna if he was a plumber or a computer programmer.

“So what? That
doesn’t mean you guys can’t still see each other, does it?”

“Apparently
that’s exactly what it means.” Justin rubbed the stubble peppering
his jaw. He should have made more of an effort to look presentable
for the meeting, but he hadn’t slept well in days, and he couldn’t
be bothered to impress a bunch of men and women whose paychecks he
signed. “She basically let me know she didn’t wanna get mixed up
with someone who puts his life on the line for a living. Apparently
it’s not worth the risk. She wants someone safe and boring, like
her ex.”

Deacon
chuckled. “Bitter much?”

Tipping his
head back, Justin stared at the ceiling before closing his eyes. “I
know I don’t have the right to be, but I can’t help it. This is the
first girl I’ve been into in a hell of a long time, and she won’t
give me a chance. I know she’s into me; that’s the frustrating
part. If she wasn’t feeling it, I could just move on, but fear is
holding her back, and I don’t know how the hell to get past
that.”

“That’s a tough
one,” Deacon admitted, setting his cell phone on the table. “But
I’ve never known you to give up when you want something. You ready
to give up on her?”

“I don’t want
to, but I can’t force it either.” He opened his eyes and looked at
his friend. “I still have my pride.”

Deacon
chuckled. “Man, pride doesn’t keep you warm at night. Sometimes
it’s better to just suck it up, even when you think you’re
right.”

“So, what am I
supposed to do? It’s not like I can give up racing.”

“I’m not
suggesting that.”

“Okay, you tell
me how I’m going to convince her to give me a chance as long as she
sees the racing as an obstacle.”

“Maybe you just
need to let her know there’s more to you than racing. It’s a small
part of who you are. Let her get to know the rest of you.”

His friend had
a point. Perhaps he’d tried to introduce her to that part of his
life too soon. “I’ll think about it, Deacon. Thanks.”

“Anytime,”
Deacon said, getting to his feet. “I have another meeting I need to
get to. You gonna be around a while? We’d love to have you over for
dinner tonight.”

“I’m not sure,”
Justin said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Can I let you
know?”

“Sure thing.”
Deacon grabbed Justin’s shoulder as he walked past. “Good luck. Let
me know how it goes, okay?”

“Will do.”
After scrolling through his contacts, Justin selected Nick’s
number.

“Hello,” Nick
said after the third ring.

“Hey, man, it’s
Justin. Sorry I couldn’t connect with you while you were in
Jacksonville. You guys have a good time at the race?”

“Yeah, it was
great, thanks. What are you up to, man?”

“Just finished
up a meeting at the Hotshots head office.”

“You’re here?
In Nashville?”

“Yeah,
why?”

“We’re having
an anniversary party for my parents tonight at the ranch. It’s just
family and a few close friends. You should come by. I know my folks
would love to see you.”

Justin was
reluctant to intrude on a family party, especially after the way
he’d left things with Anna. “I don’t know if that’s such a good
idea, Nick. If your sister wanted me there, she would have asked
me.”

“I want you
there. Isn’t that enough?”

Justin valued
his friendship with Nick and his relationship with Avery and Ty. He
didn’t want their time together on the island to be awkward just
because he’d had a brief relationship with Anna… assuming it
couldn’t evolve into more. “You sure I won’t be intruding?”

“Are you
kiddin’? My old man would never forgive you if he found out you’d
been in town and didn’t show your face.”

“Okay, I’ll
come. Thanks for the invite.”

“My pleasure.
I’ll text you the details in a bit.”

“Sounds good.”
Justin clutched his phone and smiled. Anna didn’t know it yet, but
she hadn’t seen the last of him.

***

“I can’t
believe you brought that guy to mom and dad’s anniversary party,”
Nick said through clenched teeth. “What the hell were you
thinkin’?”

“I didn’t want
everyone interrogating me about my relationship with Justin. I
figured if Steven came, y’all would have to back off,” Anna
said.

“Does he know
he’s just a buffer?”

“He’s not just
a buffer. He’s my friend.” Steven was a sixth grade teacher at her
elementary school. Ever since her breakup with Tom, he’d made it
clear he would like to date her, but she’d told him she wasn’t
ready to start seeing someone new.

“I hope that’s
all he is,” Nick muttered. “Man, what is it with you, sis? You have
the worst taste in men. Except for Justin.”

“Excuse me?”
she asked, turning to face him. “Where the hell do you get off
reprimanding me? You don’t even have a girlfriend. In fact, I can’t
remember the last time you dated anyone seriously.”

“And that’s the
way I like it.” Nick always said he was too busy running the ranch
and breeding and racing his horses to think about getting involved
with anyone who would demand time he couldn’t spare.

“Whatever.” She
rolled her eyes. “You just like hooking up with those girls who
follow you around Jimmy’s as though they’d like to slip a lasso
around your neck and-”

“Enough,” he
said, sliding an arm around her shoulders and covering her mouth.
“We’re talkin’ about you, not me. Remember?”