Authors: Megan Nugen Isbell
When graduation morning finally came the heat had broken, just as Jesse predicted, so when I put the heavy maroon gown over my black dress, it wasn’t completely unbearable. I finished putting my cap on and went downstairs to where my parents were waiting. My grandma was sitting in her usual chair reading through
Reader’s Digest
, while my dad and Robin sat on the couch and my mom and Jack sat on the loveseat watching the Royals and Tigers game. My mom flipped off the TV when she heard me coming down the stairs. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem as awkward seeing them all sitting around together as I thought it would.
“Ready to go?” I asked once I entered the living room, anxious to get to the football field and see my friends.
My parents stood up and they were both smiling. For a moment it felt as if we were a family again. The realization quickly swept through me though that we weren’t. Still, I was thankful that no matter what the differences between my parents, they always put me first and I loved them for that.
“I can’t believe you’re graduating,” my mom said, walking towards me. I could hear her voice cracking and she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly before letting me go.
“It feels like I just dropped you off at kindergarten,” my dad said, taking me in his arms.
“I actually remember that day,” I told him.
“You wouldn’t stop crying. You made me stay with you long after all the other parents had gone.”
He hugged me again and I started feeling teary eyed. As much I agreed with my decision to stay in Kansas, I missed seeing my dad. There were so many things I wished I could’ve changed, like my parents staying together, but I knew if they’d never broken up, I’d never have come to Carver, and I’d never have met Jesse. I was starting to become a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and even when those reasons don’t seem to make sense, things work out the way they’re supposed to. Too many things had happened in my life to believe otherwise.
“Okay,” I said, pulling back from my dad and discreetly dabbing at a tear with the sleeve of my robe. “Enough of this mushy stuff. Let’s get these pictures taken and get to the football field.”
My grandma stood up and grabbed the camera. After what seemed like a million different pictures, we all piled into our cars and headed to the graduation. The parking lot was packed when we arrived, but we found spaces and my family went to find their seats. I scoured the crowd for my friends, but it was hard to pick anyone out since it was a sea of maroon and everyone looked the same.
I looked over to make sure my parents were settling into their seats and then I smiled, having spotted Jesse’s dad. His Uncle Glenn was there as well. I jumped when I felt a pair of hands slide around my waist from behind and I instantly knew it was Jesse.
“Hey,” he whispered as he kissed me gently on the neck.
I spun around so I was facing him and reached up with my hands, pulling his face to mine as I kissed him.
“Are you ready for this?” I asked him.
“I’ve been ready. I can’t wait to get to Manhattan in the fall and start college life.”
“Me too,” I said, reaching up and kissing him again.
“Seriously. Can’t you two keep your hands off each other for two seconds?” Laura’s voice broke through our moment and Jesse and I grinned at each other before turning to see our friends walking towards us.
“Sorry. We’ll try and refrain from anymore PDAs this evening,” I said, but Laura just shook her head.
“That is an impossible task for you two,” she said.
“It’s finally here. Can you believe it?” Mandy squealed. I thought she might burst like balloon from her overwhelming excitement.
“We’d better go get in line,” Holly said as she turned towards the already forming string of students.
Brandon glanced down at his watch and agreed. I gave Jesse a quick peck on the cheek and heard Laura sigh, before we all went to find our places. Laura, Brandon and I were near each other since our last names started with R, S, and T, but Holly was in the middle and Jesse was near the front only a few spots away from Adrienne and Alex, whose last names also started with B. They didn’t acknowledge us and rumor had it, they weren’t even acknowledging each other anymore either. Alex had allegedly moved onto his next target, but I was certain he’d somehow find his way back to Adrienne. They only seemed suited for each other. Both of them were narcissistic, selfish and completely devoid of human emotion.
I didn’t want to waste any more of my time or energy on them and I focused on Jesse instead. He was looking down at the ground and I would’ve given anything to be a fly on the wall of his mind. I wanted to know what he was thinking about. He looked sullen and I hated when Jesse looked sad. He was so full of life, always smiling and laughing, but there were some moments, when he didn’t know I was watching, that the cheerfulness left his face. It didn’t stay long, but I noticed it.
He must’ve felt me watching him because he looked up a moment later and smiled at me. I smiled back just as the principal’s voice came over the loud speaker, signaling the beginning of the ceremony.
****
After we listened to the various speakers, all of whom came up with one cliché after another, basically telling us the world was ours for the taking, we lined up for our diplomas. It didn’t take long since there were only about a hundred people in the graduating class.
After the last diploma had been handed out, the standard tossing of the caps and cheering to an overdone graduation song, Carver High’s choice being Journey’s
Don’t Stop Believin’
, we all disbanded to find our families. My parents and grandma hugged me again and I could tell both my mom and dad were trying to hold back the tears. It felt good to know they were proud of me, especially after the year we’d had. As I was hugging my dad, I peered over his shoulder and saw Jesse with his father. They were standing a few feet apart and Mr. Baylor extended a hand to his son. Jesse smiled and shook it. His dad reached over and pulled Jesse to him quickly, giving him a few pats on the back, and when Jesse pulled away, he had a smile on his face that was different than any smile I’d seen before. He almost looked childlike and it made me happy to see him so content.
I turned my attention back to my family and we chatted for a while as the field began to clear. It was nearly nine o’clock and my dad and Robin’s flight left early in the morning. They were going to head back to the hotel to get some sleep.
“Thanks for coming, Dad,” I said as I walked him back to his rental car.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Ry.”
“I’m glad you could come too,” I said, smiling over to Robin. She leaned in and hugged me and it wasn’t nearly as awkward between us as it once had been.
“Me too, Riley. Thank you for including me,” she said and I could tell by the look in her eyes she was truly grateful.
“I’ll see if I can swing a trip to Boston before the semester starts,” I said, but my dad interrupted.
“You just concentrate on getting ready for college. Don’t feel any pressure to come home,” he said and I didn’t bother to correct him that I
was
home.
“Well, I’ll see what I can do. I’m going to try and get a summer job to help with some of the expenses.”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea. You’ve been bumming off of your mother and I long enough,” he joked. “You still haven’t paid me for that plane ticket back in December.” He was laughing, but I knew he was right.
“Hey, I sent you thirty dollars a few weeks ago.”
“Thirty bucks out of $500. That doesn’t even scratch the surface!” He pulled me to him again and I closed my eyes, cherishing his burly hug, not knowing when I’d feel it again. “I love you, kid.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
He kissed the top of my head and then he and Robin climbed in the car. I watched, teary eyed, as they drove off and I felt Jesse’s arm drape across my shoulder. I hadn’t even known he was there till I felt him beside me. I rested my head on his shoulder as I watched them drive away.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I just miss my dad.”
“I’m glad he got to come.”
“Me too.
We were quiet for a moment before I turned to face him.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know,” I said, looking away for a moment as I traced my foot along the sand. “You looked kinda down right before the ceremony started.”
“I’m fine, Riley.”
“Are you sure? I mean…you’d tell me if you weren’t, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course I would.”
“I just…I just care about you so much, Jesse and if you ever need anything, you know I’m here, right?”
He just smiled and leaned in, kissing me tenderly.
“I’m really okay. I was just thinking how everything’s about to change, that’s it. Nothing earth shattering. Now, we should get going.”
I nodded and took his hand and we walked over to say goodbye to my family. There was an unofficial graduation party on the outskirts of town that my friends and I had agreed to attend. It’d been a tradition for forever, or so I’d been told. There’d be a bonfire and God knows what else, and we figured it would be a fitting way to end our high school career.
“Now you guys be careful at that
party
,” my mom said, hesitating on the last word.
“We’ll be fine, Mom,” I said reassuringly.
“Ya know, Riley, I went to the same
party
when I graduated.”
“And you survived, didn’t you?”
“I trust you guys, but I still worry. Have fun though and be home by one o’clock.”
“I promise.”
I hugged my grandma and said goodbye to Jack. Brandon was waiting for us by Jesse’s Wagoneer and Laura, Holly, and Mandy piled into Laura’s old Ford Taurus.
“It’s about time. Let’s go,” Brandon said as he climbed into the back seat and threw his graduation gown in the back. Jesse and I each pulled ours off and did the same once we got in the Jeep. Jesse turned the ignition and the engine started rumbling. He backed out of the parking space and we began following Laura.
“Can you believe we’re actually done?” Brandon said, leaning forward, resting his arms on the back of the bench seat Jesse and I sat on, looking between us.
“Put your seatbelt on,” Jesse said flatly.
“Do you think this party is as epic as everyone says?” Brandon continued, ignoring Jesse’s order.
“I doubt it,” Jesse replied.
“Then why are we going?”
“Because it’s what the senior class has done for the last 50 years. It’s tradition, Brandon.”
“I heard there’s gonna be a ton of alcohol there,” he said excitedly.
“Yeah, and if you drink too much and puke in my car, I’m gonna be really pissed,” Jesse said and I laughed. “You think that’s funny?”
“Kinda,” I grinned at him.
“Well, the same rule applies for you,” he said, giving me a playful, warning look.
“You know I don’t drink.”
“I just want to give everyone fair warning. There will be no puking in my car tonight.”
Brandon just sighed and finally leaned back into his seat and I pulled Jesse over to me, causing him to jerk the wheel slightly, as I kissed him on the cheek.
“Tell your girlfriend there will be no making out while the vehicle’s in motion,” Brandon said sarcastically from the backseat.
“Now that is a rule I cannot enforce,” Jesse said, turning his head from the road for a second as he kissed me quickly.
I heard Brandon groan again and I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him.
“Your girlfriend is harassing me.”
“You probably deserve it,” Jesse said, glancing into the rearview mirror at Brandon.
“You always stick up for her.”
“That’s because he likes me,” I said, turning around to taunt him.
“Ya know, Jesse, I came first. Whatever happened to bros before hos?” Brandon said and then began stuttering. “I mean…not that you’re a ho, Riley, but you get my point.”
“I can’t believe you just used that phrase,” Jesse began. “And until you look like Riley, she’ll always come first.”
He was glancing at me sideways with a smile and I just grinned.
Laura turned off onto a dirt road and Jesse followed, the Wagoneer dipping and bumping over the rough terrain, until a giant fireball came into view. Cars I recognized from the parking lot at school littered the field and Jesse pulled in beside Laura. When we got out, Mandy was giddy with excitement.
“This is awesome!” she said, walking quickly towards the fire, leaving us in her dust.
“As crazy as she is,” I said as we headed towards the crowd. “I’m gonna miss her.”
“We still have some time before you leave. I’m sure you’ll get enough of Mandy by then,” Laura said.
“I know, but it won’t be the same,” I replied listlessly.
“I still can’t believe you’re the same Riley we met back in September. You actually like it here now. You used to think it was hell on earth,” Holly added.
“I was pretty awful, wasn’t I?”
“Yeah, but we knew something great was below the surface,” Holly said, putting her arm around my shoulder and then pulled Laura over as well. Before I realized what was happening, we were skipping towards the fire like Laverne and Shirley and laughing like crazy. It felt good to just let go and act ridiculous for a little bit. We eventually stopped skipping as we nearly stumbled over each other. We were laughing hysterically at this point. Jesse and Brandon were yards behind us and they were just shaking their heads.
“I’ll never understand girls,” Brandon said once they caught up with us.
“We were just having a little fun. You should try it some time. Both of you,” Holly said.
“No thanks. I stopped skipping in preschool,” Brandon said as he stopped and looked around. “Now, I’m gonna go check this place out. Come with me, Jesse.”
Jesse looked over to me and I nodded for him to go ahead.
“Be right back,” he said, jogging over to me, kissing me on the cheek and then went back to Brandon who was heading towards the fire.