Far From Home (23 page)

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he said, taking my hand and leading me down the hall into his dad’s room.

The bed, aside from a small space where he’d been sitting, was covered in pictures.  He walked over to it and sat back down in the space, clearing a spot for me.  I sat down and glanced around at all the photographs.  Most of them looked like pictures from Jesse’s hunting trips with his father.  I picked one up in which a little boy, who couldn’t have been more than seven or eight, was posing with a small buck.  He was dressed in camouflage as he held up the buck’s head by the antlers.  I assumed the boy was Jesse.  I’d never seen pictures of him from when he was young.  He was a cute kid with the same dark hair and gray eyes.  His smile revealed missing teeth and he had a sprinkle of freckles on his nose that had now disappeared. 

“You were kinda goofy looking as a kid,” I laughed as I looked down at the picture. 

“Yeah, I was, but look at me now, right?” he grinned as he took the picture from me. 

“I can’t argue with that.”

I continued rifling through the pictures and Jesse seemed to stare at each one as if trying to relive the moments captured on the film.  It was fun seeing a younger Jesse. He seemed happy with just his dad and I realized my thoughts about Mr. Baylor were probably wrong.  I’d thought he was distant, but it was obvious from these pictures, he adored Jesse and it broke my heart he’d never see his dad again.

“It looks like you and your dad had a lot of fun together,” I said, picking up a picture of Jesse and his father riding a quad.

“We did,” he said and then was quiet again.

My eyes focused on a picture of Jesse and some people I assumed were his grandparents.  He was maybe four and very cute with chubby cheeks and a big grin.  I picked it up and then noticed a photo underneath that caused me to pause.  It was a young woman and an infant.  She was tall and skinny with long dark blonde hair.  The baby was wearing nothing but a diaper and clinging to his mother.

“Is this you and your mom?” I asked and Jesse glanced over to the picture for a moment before taking it from me and continuing to gaze down at it.  He flipped it over for a second and then nodded.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” he said and I noticed the words
Marlene and Jesse 1996.

“She’s pretty,” I mentioned, but Jesse just put the picture at the bottom of a stack he was sorting.

“I guess so,” he said and I knew it was a subject he didn’t really want to talk about. “There aren’t many pictures of her so I forget sometimes.  Well…” he said, pausing for a moment. “I wouldn’t say I forget.  I guess I just don’t care.”

I understood his bitterness.  I probably wouldn’t care about someone who abandoned me at the age of two either.

“Do you ever wonder about her sometimes?” I asked carefully.  He just kept his head down, looking through the pictures. 

“Sometimes,” he said as he began gathering the pictures and placing them in a box.

“Have you ever thought about trying to find her?”

“No,” he said firmly, looking up to meet his eyes. “I have nothing to say to her.”

His eyes left mine and he returned to picking up the pictures.  I did the same and helped him put them in a large shoe box on the bed.

“You should put these in an album,” I suggested. “I could help you with that.”

He looked up and smiled a small smile at me.

“That’s a good idea.  I had no clue he had all these.”

“I’ll go to Wal-Mart and pick some up.”

“Do they even sell albums anymore?  Everything’s digital now,” he laughed.

“I’ll find some somewhere and then we’ll get them all put together and you can look through them whenever you’re missing your dad,” I said with what I realized was probably too much enthusiasm when I noticed the sadness on his face.  I reached out and set my hand on his leg.  He looked up and I saw his eyes were moist. “I’m really sorry this is happening to you,” I said softly, reaching up and brushing my fingers over his cheek.  He took my hand and pressed it firmly to his lips before he let go and finished putting the pictures away.  He stood up and put it on the shelf in his dad’s closet. “Have you thought anymore about the lawyer’s suggestion to sell the house?” I asked quietly.

“I’m not selling it.  I’ll find another way to make money,” he said resolutely.

“I’m glad you’re not going to sell it,” I said, getting up from the bed. I walked over to him and slid my arms around his waist.

“Me too.  Maybe someday I will, but I can’t do it right now.  I’m not ready for that,” he said, hugging me back and I nestled into his chest.  It was peaceful as we stood in each other’s arms.  The tension was gone and Jesse was present.  For the first time in a long time, it felt as if he wasn’t a million miles away, trying to push me away.  He seemed content.

“I’m getting tired,” he said a few moments later, kissing the top of my head. “Would you mind if we went to bed?”

“Not at all.  I’m pretty tired too.”

He took my hand and together we walked out of his dad’s room.  He looked inside once more before flipping off the light and shutting the door.  He went into the kitchen and brought my bag to me before we went into his room. 

“I’ll let you get changed,” he said and headed towards the door to leave.

“You can stay,” I said. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” he said and I noticed how shy he looked.

He kept his back to me as he searched through his dresser while I changed into my pajamas.  I grinned to myself though when I caught him peeking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the bureau. 

Once I was dressed, he exchanged his jeans for a pair of loose cotton lounge pants and I watched as he pulled off the shirt he’d been wearing, replacing it too quickly with a white undershirt. 

We both went into the bathroom then, brushing our teeth, side by side in front of the little sink. My mind drifted to how this might be someday if we ever got married.  I thought about that a lot.  While I didn’t want to get married until I was at least finished with college, the thought of being Jesse’s wife made me happy.  I knew he would make an amazing husband and father someday. 

I went back into Jesse’s room when we were done while he went around turning off the lights and locking the doors.  When he got back, I was standing at the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do.  We’d never spent the night together and I didn’t know how we should go about it. 

He came over and pulled the covers back, crawling inside and then holding the blanket open for me.  I got in, my back facing him as his body spooned around mine.  He draped the blanket over both of us and then reached over onto the nightstand and turned off the light.  The room grew dark and I rested my head on the pillow.  He stroked my arm with his fingertips and his warm breath tickled my neck. 

“I like this,” I said softly.

“Me too.”

It grew quiet again and I pulled his arm around me, never wanting him to let me go. 

“Have you thought about going to visit your dad before school starts?” he asked quietly a few minutes later.

“Not really,” I said honestly.  I hadn’t thought twice about it since telling my dad at graduation I’d try and come.  The death of Jesse’s father had changed the entire dynamics of everything.  What I thought would be a carefree summer before heading off to college had been anything but. 

“I think you should go.”

“Why?”

“I just think you should go see your dad while you have the chance,” he said gently and I felt a lump form in my throat at what he was implying.  I could still see my dad.  He couldn’t and he didn’t want me to miss out on any time with him. 

“You’re right,” I agreed, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll look into it.  Do you wanna come?”

“I have too much to do here, but you should go,” he encouraged softly and he squeezed my hand. “I love you, Riley.”

I snuggled in closer and closed my eyes.  I fell asleep, content and peaceful in Jesse’s arms.  Even though we were crammed in his twin sized bed, I had never slept so well. 

Chapter Twenty-Five

Jesse had to go to work the next morning and when I got home, my mom didn’t seem the least bit suspicious.  A part of me felt guilty for lying to her, but I needed to be with Jesse and she never would’ve gone for that. 

I took Jesse’s suggestion and looked into flights back to Boston before I had to leave for work.  I found a fairly reasonable ticket for the following weekend, but I had to see if Jill would allow me to take a couple of days off.  I didn’t think it would be a problem, but I decided to wait on the ticket until I could ask her once I got to the shop. 

As I pulled up to the store, I was suddenly nervous.  I’d almost forgotten about what had almost happened at the concert with Matt, but now that I was sitting beside his pick-up, I remembered all too clearly.  When he’d dropped me off, I’d done my best to squash the awkwardness and I thought I’d done a pretty good job, but we hadn’t spoken or even texted since then, so I wondered how it would be.  Even though I knew I could keep things normal between us, I wondered if he could. 

There was no point avoiding him, so I took a deep breath, undid my seatbelt and got out of my car.  When I walked inside, Jill and Matt were both busy making arrangements: Jill’s a large bouquet of roses and Matt’s a collection of tropical looking flowers.  Even after all this time at the shop, I still hadn’t mastered the names of all the flowers and if truth be told, I probably never would. 

“Mornin’, Riley,” Jill called over the slow-country song playing over the speakers.  I thought it was Miranda Lambert, but I wasn’t sure.  Just like the flowers, I doubted I’d ever familiarize myself adequately with country music. 

“Hey,” I said, cheerfully and I realized I was purposefully avoiding looking at Matt.  I knew that wouldn’t alleviate any awkwardness, so I drew my eyes to his.  He seemed nervous, but once I smiled, he seemed to relax and smiled back. “How was your Sunday, Jill?” I asked, setting my stuff in the back room.

“Typical Sunday,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. “What about you two?  How was that concert my son dragged you to?”

“He didn’t drag me to it,” I said, looking over to Matt again. “And we had a good time.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said and I decided I should talk to Jill about my trip to Boston before she got too busy.

“Can I ask you a question, Jill?”

“Of course you can.”

“I’d like to see my dad before I head to college,” I began and then I realized I was nervous as the question was about to leave my mouth. “And…I was wondering…I mean…would it be possible if I took Wednesday through Saturday of next week off?  I’d be back to work on Monday morning. I understand if you say no, but I just wanted to ask…” I babbled quickly until she stopped me.

“It’s not a problem.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s only four days.  Matt and I will be fine.  Go enjoy some time with your dad.”

“Thank you so much.  I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome,” she said, just as her cell phone rang.  She put down the rose she was working with and went to her purse in the back room and answered it. “Slow down, Mark,” we could hear her say and then she closed the door so she could speak to her oldest son in private.

“Sounds like there’s more drama on the horizon with your brother,” I laughed quietly.

“There’s always drama with him.  Our lives wouldn’t be complete without it,” he said as he continued to work on his arrangement. 

I decided to pick up where Jill had left off on her arrangement and we worked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke.

“So, you’re heading back to Boston?”

“I guess I am, thanks to your mom giving me the time off.”

“That’ll be a nice break.”

“Yeah, it will be.  I haven’t been back in seven months.  It’ll be good to see my dad.  I hardly got to spend any time with him when he came for my graduation.”

He nodded and then the room grew quiet again, except for the muffled voice of Jill talking to Mark. 

“Did you speak to Taryn?” I asked a few moments later.

“I did,” he said, keeping his eyes focused on what he was doing. 

“Is everything okay?”

“I think so.” I saw a little smile start to spread on his face.

“I take it things went well?”

“They did.  We’re both just anxious for her to get home.”

It was good to see Matt happy, although I couldn’t help but feel a little envious of his happiness. 

“I’m glad things are better with you guys” I said, focusing on the flowers in front of me. 

“Me too,” he replied, the smile growing bigger on his face and I knew the almost kiss at the concert was officially behind us. 

Both of our heads turned when Jill emerged from the back room and she looked perturbed. 

“Your brother is going to be the death of me, Matthew,” she sighed.

“What is this?  Are you actually speaking ill of your darling Mark?” Matt said, eyeing his mother playfully.  She smacked him on the arm as she passed him. “What’s going on now?”

“He’s got no money to pay the electric bill,” she sighed, heading towards the door. “I’ve got to go deposit some money into his account.  I’ll be back in a few.”

With that, the bells on the door jingled and Jill was gone.

I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh lightly and Matt did the same.

“You’d better get some high falootin’ job, Matt.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I think your fear has merit.  I do believe he’s gonna suck you dry once your parents aren’t here anymore,” I laughed.

“I think you’re right,” he agreed with an annoyed sigh as we settled back into our work.  I smiled as I finished the bouquet.  Jesse seemed almost like his old self again, things weren’t weird with Matt, and I was heading back to Boston for a visit.  Perhaps the summer was finally taking a turn for the better.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The week went by quickly and it seemed like Jesse worked non-stop.  I knew he was busy trying to run his dad’s shop, pay bills and everything else he had to do now.  This had never been his plan after graduation, but he was making the best of it.  The only condolence was that I worked a lot too.  It kept my mind occupied and helped to pass the time.