Far From Home (27 page)

“What do you mean by plans?”

“How long is she staying?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Doesn’t she have a job she has to get back to or something?”

“She’s out of work right now.  She’s got a bad back or something.”

“Really?  I never would’ve guessed.  She seems perfectly healthy,” I said and I knew Jesse immediately picked up on my sarcasm. 

“You shouldn’t be so judgmental, Riley.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.  It’s very much like the Riley I met when you first moved here.”

“That is not true,” I said defensively. “I was just making an observation.”

“No, you weren’t. You were asking when the hell my mom is leaving town.”

“Jesse…I…I didn’t mean that,” I said, although part of me was wondering exactly that.

“We’re working things out,” he said and then the Jeep grew quiet.  I focused my eyes on the dark road as the engine hummed. 

“Is she planning on moving to Carver?” I asked a few moments later.

“I doubt it.  Her life is back in Little Rock.  She actually suggested I go with her to meet some of my family.”

“So, she’s from there then?  You mentioned she’d lived all over the Midwest.”

“She grew up there and moved back about a year ago.”

“So that explains her accent,” I said and he laughed.

“Yep.  She sounds like more of a hick than I do.”

“You said it, not me,” I said and he reached over and took my hand. “So…what’d you tell her about going to Little Rock?”

“I told her I’d think about it.  I’m not sure I’m ready to make that leap yet,” he said and I felt a wave of relief as I realized Marlene hadn’t completely warped Jesse’s sensibilities. “She and I have been talking about other stuff though.”

The tone of his voice trailed off as if he wanted to talk about it.

“What’ve you been talking about?”

“She thought it might be a good idea for me to sell the house.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“She says if I sell the house, it would take care of a lot of things and I think she may be right.”

“You’re not serious.  You said you weren’t selling the house.”

“Calm down, Riley.  I didn’t say I was selling the house.  I’ve just been thinking about it.”

“Why are you even thinking about it?  You said you didn’t want to sell right now.”

“I don’t want to sell, but she makes some good points.”

“Like what?”

“Well…the money.”

“Yeah, I get that, but when you sell the house, it should be your idea, not Marlene’s.”

“It’s not her idea, but what else am I gonna do?”

“You said you would find another way.  I don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret.  The only reason you’re even entertaining the idea is because Marlene suggested it.”

“I wish you’d stop calling her Marlene. She’s my mom.”

“Yeah, for like two weeks,” I jeered just as Jesse pulled the Jeep to a stop in front of my house.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”

“Why?  I’m only stating the truth.”

“Why do you hate her?” he asked, turning off the engine and turning to face me.

“I don’t hate her.”

“What’s your problem with her then?  And don’t say because she left me when I was a baby.  I’m well aware of what she did.”

“So, you’ve just forgotten that fact?”

“Of course I haven’t forgotten, but I
have
forgiven.”

“How can you act like it’s all okay?”

“It’s not all okay,” he said and his voice remained calmer than I expected it to. “I know she’s not perfect.  I get that.  I don’t need your constant reminders of it though.”

“What constant reminders?  I haven’t said anything until just now.”

“You don’t have to say anything.  I can see it all over your face whenever you’re with us.”

I knew there was probably some truth to what he said.  I never could hide how I was truly feeling.  My face always gave it away. 

“I might as well be honest with you then,” I said, pausing for a moment. “I can’t forgive her for what she did to you and I can’t forget.  I’m sorry if I can’t warm up to your mom like you have.”

“Like I’ve told you, you don’t get it and you won’t get it so it’s better if you just don’t even try and understand.”

“Jesse, please…don’t say that.  I’m just looking out for you,” I said and I heard him sigh.

“I know you are, but please, just let me handle this one.  If I’m gonna make mistakes, let me make them.  You can’t save me from my life, so please stop trying.”

His voice was calm, but his words stung.  I just nodded, trying to crack a smile to show I wasn’t hurt.  Deep down, I knew he was right.  It was his life and whatever choices he made, he’d have to live with it.  It was just hard for me to accept that. 

I couldn’t say anything else because I didn’t know what else to say. I figured whatever came out of my mouth would just antagonize the situation. So instead, I just kissed him on the cheek, whispered, “I love you,” and got out of the Jeep.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“Riley!  A package is here for you!” I heard my mom’s voice call up the stairs.  It was late on Saturday afternoon and I was relaxing in my room, streaming a movie on my computer.  Jesse was working and I was waiting for him to text me so I could hang out with him and Marlene.  He told me he didn’t know how late he would be because he and Glenn were going to spend some time going over the business end of everything.  I was happy he seemed to be reconnecting with his uncle.  I knew the accident had been difficult for both them.  Glenn still felt guilt and Jesse felt resentment, but at least they were working together more.  Glenn would be good for Jesse.  He was the support Jesse needed…not Marlene.  I hadn’t brought her up anymore to Jesse and he hadn’t offered up any more new information.  He’d said nothing else about selling the house and I didn’t know how to take that.  I figured I’d just have to wait and see what he decided. 

“Be right down!” I called back, pausing the movie and heading downstairs to the kitchen. 

On the table was a large box and I knew instantly what it was.  I got a knife from the drawer and cut open the package.

“What’s in the box?” my mom asked as she chopped up some tomatoes for the salad for dinner.

“These,” I said, holding out the contents so she could see.

“Photo albums?” she asked, raising a curious eyebrow at me.

“Yeah,” I said as I checked them out. “Jesse found a whole bunch of old pictures in his dad’s closet and I told him we should make some nice albums with them.  I couldn’t find any at Wal-Mart so I ordered them online.  I had that Amazon gift card Uncle Mike and Aunt Debbie gave me for graduation. I thought this would be a nice thing to use it on.”

“Not something practical, like textbooks in the fall?” she said with a smirk.

“No worries, Mother, these only cost like twenty bucks.  I’ve still got some left over.”

She put the knife down and came over, picking up one of the albums. 

“These are interesting,” she said, glancing down at the cover.  I’d gone with a hunting theme and the albums were covered in the same type of camouflage Jesse and his dad wore in so many of the pictures I’d seen.

“I think it’ll remind Jesse of his dad,” I said as I started breaking down the larger box to throw in the garbage. 

“That’s really sweet of you, Riley,” she said, stacking the album she’d been holding on top of the other one.  “Speaking of Jesse,” she continued and then her voice seemed to fade. “How are things going with his mom?”

“According to who?  Me or him?  Because it all depends entirely on who you ask.  If you ask him, everything’s just dandy.  Marlene is a peach.” The sarcasm was thick as I rolled my eyes.

“And I take it your thoughts aren’t in line with his?”

“Not at all, but I don’t dare tell him that.  I don’t like her, but he won’t hear it.”

“And he won’t, Ry.  I doubt you would either if you were in his shoes.”

“I know you’re probably right.”

“But just so you know, I think I share your sentiments,” she said and I was happy to know I wasn’t a total heartless bitch if my mother felt the same way I did. “We just need to support Jesse though while he figures this out.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” I said, motioning towards the albums. “I need to try and make a peace offering.  He’s been pretty annoyed at my attitude towards his mom.”

“I hope it works,” she said and then started chopping again. “Would you mind setting the table?”

I nodded, thinking back to how I was when I first moved to Carver. I did everything to avoid spending time with my mother, including blowing off dinners.  I didn’t do that anymore and I was ashamed I ever had.

****

By the time I’d finished helping my mom wash and dry the dinner dishes, it was dusk.  Jesse had texted me right as we sat down to dinner to let me know he was on his way home from the shop and that I should come over and watch a movie with him and his mom.  While I wasn’t exactly crazy about spending the evening with Marlene, I did want to be with Jesse and hopefully when we were done watching the movie, we could do some work on the albums.   

When I pulled up to his house, the Wagoneer was out front, but I didn’t see Marlene’s car.  I smiled a little, hoping maybe she’d found something else to do other than bother us. 

I turned off my car and saw Rocky and Jasper bound out through the doggie door.  I grabbed the albums and got out, petting each of the dogs on the head before I trotted up the stairs to the door.  I knocked and waited for a few moments, expecting to hear footsteps.  When I didn’t, I knocked again, and again, the house was silent.  I looked around to see if maybe Jesse was outside, but the yard was quiet too.  Opening the door carefully, I poked my head inside. 

“Jesse?” I called out, but heard nothing.  Hesitantly, I stepped inside and began looking for him.  After I checked every room, I realized he wasn’t there.  I suddenly felt my earlier excitement at the possibility of a Marlene free night dwindle.  I figured the reason her car wasn’t out front was because Jesse had gone somewhere with her and he hadn’t bothered telling me.  I dropped the albums on the kitchen table more forcefully than I probably should have and pulled out my phone, dialing his number.  A text wouldn’t do.  I needed to talk to him.  As the first ring came through the receiver, I heard music coming from Jesse’s bedroom.  Pulling the phone from my ear, I realized the music was Jesse’s ring tone.  I walked down the hallway and saw his phone lying on the dresser. 

There I stood, waiting for him and he didn’t even have his phone.  I was annoyed now and decided I wasn’t going to wait around for him all night when he hadn’t even had the decency to tell me he wasn’t going to be home, even though he’d told me to come over. 

Leaving the albums on the table, I flung the door open and walked back to my car.  Just as I was opening the door to get in, something caught my eye.  The door to the shed was open.  Jesse rarely left it open unless he was inside. 

I walked over to it, but it seemed just as quiet as the house. 

“Jesse?” I called, but again, there was no response.  I put my hands on my hips, looking around and wondering where the hell he was when I realized one of the quads was missing.  It was his favorite one.  Bright blue with white flames and incredibly fast.  I’d never ridden on it.  The thing scared me too much, but Jesse would fly around the property jumping and spinning and freaking me out.   I noticed a set of tire marks just outside the door and they looked fresh and deep, like the wheels had been left to spin while the engine revved.  My eyes followed the tracks as far as the setting sun allowed until they faded.  I started walking then and saw they led out to the road in the direction of Mrs. Kramer’s house. 

I felt a pit in my stomach as I went back to my car, got in and started driving towards the old house. 

A few minutes later, I saw the familiar grove of trees come into view and there was just enough sunlight left that I could see the quad sitting there.  I pulled up beside it, turned off the car and nervously got out.  The worn down house looked peaceful and then I saw a figure sitting on the end of the dock.  Jesse.  His shoulders were hunched and he was staring down at the water. 

I walked slowly, the pit growing bigger as I realized things weren’t right.  He didn’t look up until I called his name.

“Jesse?” I spoke softly and his head turned slowly.

When his eyes met mine, I saw they were red, as if he’d been crying.  He only looked at me for a moment before turning back to the water.  I sat down beside him, dangling my feet above the pond, just as he was, before I finally spoke.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked gently, resting my hand on his back. 

“She’s gone.” His voice was low and quiet, cracking as the words left his mouth.

“What do you mean, she’s gone?”

“I came home from the shop and all her stuff was packed up and she was gone.”

“Maybe she had to run an errand or something,” I said hopefully, knowing I was only being naïve.

“No, Riley.  She left and she’s not coming back.”

I didn’t know what to say.  The very thing I’d worried most about had come true and now he sat beside me, crushed and defeated. 

“Why do think she left?” I asked gently.

“I know exactly why she left,” he said, his voice laced with bitterness. “I told her I wasn’t selling the house.”

“Why would she leave because of that?” I asked and I heard him sigh.

“She only came here because she thought she might get something from my dad’s estate.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked and he didn’t speak for a while.

“It wasn’t long after she got here that she started asking about my dad’s life insurance and stuff,” he finally said. “I thought she was just worried about me.  She wasn’t.” His tone was turning angry now and I gently stroked his back, trying to keep him calm. “When I told her about all the unexpected crap…the bills and debt and how I had to use it all to pay those off…that was when she suggested I sell the house.  She told me we could probably get at least a hundred grand for the property and house.  She kept pushing me, saying I needed to look out for my future.  She didn’t give two shits about my future.  She just wanted a piece of the cut.”