Family (16 page)

She had long ago started goin round that church house and keepin her eye on that quiet Tim. He watched her too. One day they was told to hold hands in a circle and sing together. He came to where she was and held her hand tightly, she held his tightly back and they almost never did let go, even when the meetin was over. Finally they did tho.

One day, when she had made up her mind on him, she smiled at him and took his hand again. He smiled back and left his hand in hers. In a quiet, sort of slow way, wary, timid love peeked above the soil of their hearts, lookin round to see was it a rocky place.

Always wanted to move quick tho. She asked him, “Is you a married man?”

Tim answered, “Was.”

“What is you now?”

“Cain’t find my wife, my woman.”

“She sposed to be round here?”

“Naw, I don’t guess now.”

“Well, how you gonna find her stayin in one place?”

“Done foun somethin else.”

“What you think you done found?”

“You?”

“You ain’t too bashful, is you?”

“Cain’t hep it, no how.”

“What you mean to do with me? I ain’t no easy woman.”

“Don’t want none.”

“What you to doin with me?”

“What kin I do wit you?”

“I’ll think on it.”

“I likes that.” Then he moved slowly away. Smilin.

The scissor-man was long gone out of her mind. She had been goin to marry him for livelihood and security, she thought. The way she felt about Tim … was love. Her first real love. Now that she was free, and he was free, their love was free to give to each other. And they did.

They took their time, but not a lot of time cause they didn’t have much time. Always had most moved into her new house as it was movin along and now she was ready for marriage. Tim had been helpin, but mostly he was a livestock worker with just general knowledge of buildin a house, like them little shotgun houses for the tenant farmers on her new land.

They waited for their lovin. Didn’t make none. Wanted it all right, marriage and all, for the first time in all their lives. The day came, at last. Always had on a white weddin dress she made herself. Tim had on a brand-new blue suit. Flowers was everwhere. Even vegetables was set up in bouquets
when the flowers ran out. Cause that’s what she raised was vegetables, you see? The peoples was there, ex-slaves now tenants on her farm. After the bride kissed the groom and laughed out loud, too long, cause she was so happy, everybody had a good time bein free. They ate her good cookin and drank some of the homemade wine Tim had made. A few others at the weddin got so mixed up in all that love they was tryin to find somebody to marry while the preacher was there. It was romantic, you see.

The night of Always’s weddin. The weddin night.

Everything was new in their new bedroom. Seem like even they was new. Magine! Two slaves in a real house. THEIR house! Picked each other out to love. And DID IT! Never before in either of each life had they ever been able to make such a choice. And no other slave they knew of! Chile, that freedom is something!

They was both shy, kinda bashful, tho Lord knows, they both had been through so much of life. Seen so much. Been made to do so much.

Now … they had love … and everything.
They lay side by side, holdin hands. When they talked, they almost whispered.

“I is your real wife now.”

“I knows, an I is proud.”

“You sho you loves me?”

“Bout too late if I wan’t sho.”

“Ain’t talkin bout time! I wants to be real loved.”

“I loves you, too. Real love.”

“I feel like this my first time at lovin.”

“Is our first time at lovin. First time at bein married, sides with a broom. I’s yours. We’s together. Woman and man. Man and wife.”

“Man and wife! By a preacher. Like white folks, Tim.”

“Like real peoples sposed to be, everywhere.”

“Our folkses wasn’t there. My mama wasn’t there. She dead. Where your mama, Tim?”

His whisper dropped. “I nevah knew my mama. Nevah had none.”

“Never had no mama? Ohhhh, Tim.”

“You my everythin, Always. You my wife, my mama, my baby, my woman. My everythin.”

“Tim? When you was undressin? I saw them scars on your back.”

“They’s the las ones. Won’t be no mo.”

“I’s gonna rub em down with my special linment.”

“Yo special linment is love. You done already rubbed me all over my heart and soul. My body be awright now.”

They was quiet awhile, just layin there bein together. Then Tim said, “I didn’t see no scars on yo back.”

“Mos my scars is in my mind. Can’t see em clear.”

Tim raised his head a little. “Then how I’m gon help em go away?”

Always turned her face to him. “Tim, you done soothed my scars with your love and kindness and goodness.”

She unclasped their hands. “Put your hand on my stomach.”

He did. “Sho feel like a pretty stomach.”

“I’s lovin you, Tim, and you betta treat me right, love me back, good and strong.”

“Yo knows that or we wouldn’t be layin here now.”

They laughed and he began to rub her stomach. She whispered closer to his ear. “You feels good to me, Tim.”

He smiled to hisself. “Ahhhhh, you sho feels good to me. Did from the first time I seen you in that church.”

She raised her head a little. “Reckon God done blessed us cause we met in the church?”

“Always, I’m blessed. I’m blessed. And it feel so good to be blessed.”

“Where you goin with your hand, Tim?”

“Home. My new home. I’s bringin myself home to you.”

“Come on home then. Home is waitin for you.”

“Fo me always?”

“Always for you, always.”

And as he tenderly passed one strong arm under her body and pulled her gently under him, they kissed and he whispered into her mouth, “Ahhhh, I loves yo, Always, I loves yo.”

And they came together in marriage. They
made a home. And it wasn’t too long fore they made a baby, chile.

Oh! My! My! How much we slaves, of all colors, have missed. Oh! My! I never did get to feel nothin like that. There ain’t nothin, NOTHIN, like you wantin somebody and them wantin you. Loving. Lovin somebody! Just really nothin like makin love to somebody you love, when you BOTH want to and you together doin it! Oh! My! My! Well, that’s what they had, when they was freed.

Always wanted a black child by a black man. And she went to workin on it right away. Tim loooved his wife. That’s why it wasn’t long fore Always was pregnant. I was excited cause this child we could keep. It was ours!

When Always had their son, Tim stayed at her side long as she would let him. It was the first time she had ever had help havin a baby. It was the first time she could look up at its daddy, hold his hand, and wait for their child of love to be born. If you ain’t never had that happen, or helped
it happen, chile, you don’t know what love is when you have a child.

When Always and Tim had got married, they had to decide on a last name of their own choice. They pondered many hours. They finally decided on “More” cause Always say that’s what they want! When the baby was born, Always say she want to name him “Master,” so everybody have to call him Master. Tim just went long with things, thinkin he could name the next ones. But there never was no next one. Master More had to carry on the name all by hisself. And he ended up doin it in a big way, too. But, I’ll tell you all that when I get to it. In the meantime, their farm prospered, with Always addin things along the way. She always thought of gold.

Tim and Always built more shacks for the ex-slaves and gave them to them for life, long as they worked til they couldn’t. She encouraged them to have gardens of their own, thereby saving her stuff for market.

When she would send them out to do outside work for white people, she gave them 90 percent
of their money, so they would be free, on their own.

She still had some gold, so she bought two carriages and rented them out with a well-dressed driver to ladies who wanted to be ladies goin in style to local events, but who had lost most of their genteel money. She paid the drivers and kept the rest, naturly.

Tim raised the stock and they both ran the farm. They prospered.

Across the road a way, Doak Jr. also prospered. He yet glared cross the road at her, but she had given him the most of his gold, so he had no real fuss, just felt bested. Loretta, even tho her house was bein fixed and built up and beautified, yet looked cross the road at Always darkly. Not hatin her so much tho. Close kin, yet far apart from love.

Doak Jr. found him a pretty little wife, blue-eyed and blond, just as cute as she could be. Smart. Nice. Good-hearted. She fell in love with Apple and had her often, everyday, to their house, much to the pleasure of Loretta. Probly what helped
Loretta stop hatin Always so much. Loretta could watch her own child grow, and she did love Apple. Apple loved all the good things happenin to her. Lovely little clothes, good food, tender care. She was growin up to be a mighty pretty girl and it was good for her to have others lovin her, cause Always was taken up with her new son fore long. Little Apple was thinkin she was in love with Soon. He was too old for her, but she had that feelin for him girls have for grown-ups sometimes. Loretta was plannin, strongly, for to send Apple off to the North to school. Apple was learnin good already, studyin hard, Loretta teachin her. Loretta was a natural born teacher it seemed. Loretta knew Apple loved Soon. Loretta didn’t want Apple marryin no black man, so everything she did was to gear Apple toward the North. She put dreams in her head and they worked. I’m glad. Give everybody a future if you can.

Soon didn’t get married right away. He worked with his mama, Always, and commence to pile up a good piece of homeland for hisself. He say he want his wife from somewhere not in the South. Said he would wait awhile.

I WAS GETTIN
mighty tired, weak. Always’s new baby, Master, was growin slowly. I’d have to wait years to see his life. I wanted to, but I was so tired.

I drifted off to Peach, I thought for the last time. She was tryin to visit the United States. Her family didn’t want her to go. Her husband specially. She wanted to go see and find her first family. He told her she had her family there with him. I could see she was goin to get her way. He told her she had to take one of their own children with her, and
she had to stay white while she was there. See and leave!

Well, I ain’t gonna take up no lotta time tellin you bout her trip. Once she got to the South, it wasn’t no time fore she found Always on accounta Loretta bein so close to her. And when Loretta saw Peach! Chile! Peach couldn’t stay no white woman then if Loretta had not wanted her to, but Loretta thought of Apple and that made it easy for Peach.

Loretta decided she wanted Apple to go to school in Scotland and Always decided she wanted Soon to go somewhere for some special education in Europe, wherever Peach thought best. Peach was way more than happy to do all these things cause she had done missed havin colored people somewhere around her. It gets to be that way sometime. And tho they was mostly white, they was still black. They got all that settled for when the time came.

Soon was not too eager to leave all that he was workin on for hisself, but he wasn’t no fool and he did want somethin better and he wanted a wife from somewhere else. He, too, liked his relative
and her daughter she brought with her. Pretty chile.

But let me tell you bout when Always and Peach met again.

Always thought it was some rich woman comin to see bout her carriages. She was bendin down round some of them special plants of hers and stood up waitin for Peach to get to her. Peach broke into a run, cause that chile hadn’t done changed much inside herself. She was truly glad to see her sister, her own first family. They hugged and held on to each other … so long, oh, so long. Squeezin, cryin … oh, so long. My family, my blood.

Always wanted to be mad cause she had done been left down there to fend for herself in the madness of slavery. Wanted to know why somebody didn’t try to come back and help her, buy her. All Peach answered was, “Because I couldn’t! Wasn’t any way I could have done it, with my husband and my family. I didn’t know anything about passage, buyin and not getting recognized and whatever all else there is. So there! I’m back now to do whatever I can do, so we can be together
again as a family. You can’t come to Scotland. But I can take little Apple with me and anybody else that looks white.” Well, truth is the light. Right or wrong.

I had done dropped over to see Sun. He was gettin ready to go down to see bout his sisters too. He got there whilst Peach was there. Chile, I’m tellin you! I was so happy, so glad, so full up with joy! To see my childrens together again. Mine. But my joy wasn’t no bigger than theirs was.

Plum was the only sadness in their hearts. When Sun got there, he found em the same way Peach had done. Always took them to Plum’s grave place. Only people she ever did take sides Tim and Master. They held each other and cried some more. Chile, slavery was hard, hard on a body in so many ways. These blood of mine was way more than lucky and blessed.