Family (9 page)

Always knew she should be showin excitement and be happy with the new mother-to-be, but she couldn’t gather up the gumption to act excited. She looked down at the small, frail body of Sue, then at her own strong one. “How far long is you, Mistress?”

Clappin her hands and countin on her fingers, Sue said, “Bout seven weeks, I reckon. Just bout seven weeks!”

“I’s with a baby myself, Mistress,” Always sighed.

Sue turned round in the chair again. Many thoughts crossin her mind at the same time; No male slave on the land, cripply Jason, where did
Always get her baby? All the tales wives of slaveownin husbands justa runnin through her mind.

“Who … where is the father of your baby, Always?”

Always answered truthfully. “I don’t know, Mistress.” She did not know where Doak was at the particular time.

Sue turned back round, breathin relief. “Well.” She thought, “I didn’t blive Always was like that, but that is what they say bout em, and it must be true. They have many men … that way, even strangers. “How far long are you, Always?”

“Bout two months, Mistress.”

Sue raised up and round one more time. “Musta got … that way just fore you came … here.”

Always knew her place. “Yes’m.” And pinnin the last pin, went to put the things away.

Sue sat a minute, lookin through the window at the land. “Well … Anyway.” She placed her hand over her stomach, thinkin, “My baby gonna inherit land and money someday. Poor Always’s baby always gonna be poor and a slave.” This she thought with no malice, even had a little pity in her heart. But a mother’s first thought is of her
own. She didn’t say, “I will set you and your child free someday and give you a little land.” She just felt a little pity. That’s all.

Now, when all the chores was done and the workday was endin, Always and Poon had taken to sittin on stumps in front of that shedhouse of Masr Jason’s. They would sit quietly or talk soft and slowly of things, just to have some company, I reckon, where they didn’t have to say Masr or Mistress, could just talk.

Always spoke of the Mistress’s baby that was comin. All Poon thought of was another mouth to call out for more work and was glad she was not livin in the main house nomore. She didn’t dislike the new Mistress, she just didn’t feel nothin and didn’t like to think of somebody with more power over her, man or woman. “A baby” was all she said.

Always looked through the darkness into yonder somewhere. “I am gonna have Master a baby too.” Poon just looked from yonder into the darkness. She did not smile, her own memories of her babies stayed too painful and close.

Always smoothed out her apron, said, “I sho
would want you all to help me fix that ole chicken house into a place for me … and my chile. Don’t want to live in this house … with em.”

With thoughts of amazement, Poon asked, “You loves him? Masr Doak?”

Always pressed her lips together in a frown. “Loves my own. Wants my own room for me and my chile, that’s all. Got to live here til I die, so wants to live in my own room. Maybe soon they be havin more childrens. I’ll be already done moved and that give the new Mistress time to fix things for her babies.”

Poon just looked at her. “You somethin, chile.”

Still lookin through the darkness, Always said, “And I wants my own garden to work.”

Poon mused, “This good land. You get a good garden, good fruit from this land. It’s mos puredee new. Ain’t harly worked none. Grow yo own food to eat.”

Always, still lookin into the darkness over the land, said, “I’ll eat what food everybody else grows and eats. I want silver money to come out from my garden. I wants silver and gold money from what I grow.”

Poon just sighed. “You somethin, chile. Don’t you know what you is and where you is?”

Always got up, smoothin her apron, preparin to leave. “They can’t slave my wishin none. I can try.”

Another evenin, soon after that one, Always went over to sit awhile with Poon again. Always quietly said, “I blive they gonna ask for Masr Jason to sit a horse and watch the workers on the land. They ain’t workin too good without overseein. Can he sit a horse? If’n he tied to it?”

Poon was alarmed and protective of Jason. “He don’t need to be puttin to doin all such as that! He a sick man! That Masr Doak.” She lowered her voice. “He goin too far now! Sides, them mens doin alright.”

Always spoke, still softly. “No, they ain’t. They lazy …”

Poon said, “They tired.”

Always smoothed her apron, said, “We got to eat and prosper, are we always gonna be livin like this? You in a shed carin for a cripple. And if he die, you be back out in the fields again this time.”

Poon was thoughtful.

Always went on talkin. “Some of them mens sleeps in the shade trees when they left alone. Them the ones eats more’n their share of the food I takes out to em. And then, somethin else more, they steals some of the harvest every day and takes it to they own shacks to cook and they already been given rations.”

Poon rebuked her. “You acts like this is your fields and your food!”

Always answered, “In a way, they is. Yours too. We depends on them fields for our livin. We could have a betta livin if the land bring in more.”

Poon never in her life had thought like this and it took time for her mind to grab what Always was sayin to her.

Always continued talkin. “I wants more. We all wants more. Jason wants more. Mistress is goin to have a baby child. They gonna need more room. I wants to get a start on fixin up that ole chicken house not bein used. It’s big, an can be a one-room shack for me, an I still be close nough to the main house for them to call, do they need me.”

Poon understood that. “The chicken house?
What you gonna fix it up with? Who gonna take time to do it? Sho can’t take them slaves out the field you so busy worryin bout!”

“Fix it with all what’s left over from you-all’s shack. Fix it myself. Done watched em fix yourn. I can do it. Take longer, thats all.”

Poon took a disbelieving breath. “I declare on God, you sho is somethin I ain’t never heard of. I blive you think that light skin of yourn make you white as them is! How you gon get Masr Doak to let you make a garden and make money from it? His land!? And just what make you blive he gon let you build you yourn own room, even if it ain’t in nothin but that ole chicken house? Either you a fool or you crazy! If you blive you white, you crazy!”

Always made a ugly smile. “Naw … I don’t. Least I ain’t that crazy! But, I makes me whatever I can. For my chile, for myself. I think of a way. Lots of slaves has they own shack. And they own gardens.”

Poon understood that. “To eat on, not to sell and get money on.”

Always spoke quietly. “Well maybe I start somethin new. But it please me if you don’t talk none bout it til I find my way to it.”

Poon stirred on her stump, she had been thinkin of tellin it, and laughin, to Masr Jason.

“Sides,” Always continued, lookin toward Poon out the side of her eyes, “I can share it with Masr Jason and you. Masr Jason need somethin to do, build up his arms and strenth. He can help work it, it bein close to the house.”

Poon opened her eyes wide in the dark. “First you got him sittin on horses and bein a overseer. Now you got him workin in YOUR garden on his land! You somethin, chile!”

Always stood up to go. “You can work with me and better your life too … or you can tell all I say and mess with my plan … but … every somebody with any sense wants what’s better. Silver look good in your pocket as it do in Master’s. Freedom talk still.”

Poon cut her off. “Shush, chile! Ain’t you got no sense? At all?”

Always moved close to Poon. “Don’t Masr Jason read them papers Master Doak bring home?
Ain’t you clost enough to him, for all you do, to get him to teach you how to read so you can read to him fore he go to sleep at night?”

Poon laughed shortly. “What I’m gonna do with readin knowledge?” She looked off cross into the darkness. “I usta, once or twict, want to learn to read. But now, I’m old. Readin ain’t gonna do me no good, no more.”

Always leaned closer. “You ain’t dead. And slavin can kill you. You ain’t sold again … yet … and readin can help you. Somethin in your head worth as much as silver in your pocket … sometime. Ask him!”

Poon. “It’s gainst the law.”

Always. “What he care bout the law? He a white man.”

Poon. “You ain’t gonna get me killed.”

Always. “Ain’t tryin to. Tryin to get you to better …”

Poon. “Well, leave me be. I’m doin alright. I got my own house now.”

Always. “Masr Jason house.”

Poon. “Mine too! And I don’t have to answer all them calls no more. I don’t have to tend to
Masr Doak’s bed, just Masr Jason …” She stopped talkin and started in the shack.

Always spoke the last words.

“Masr Jason may die, then where you be? Get him teach you readin … then, you teach me. Someday, I pay you back.”

Poon went on in the house and Always went on to the main house, stoppin by way round to the chicken house and seein in her mind what it could be.

The next day she began to gather stuffs to fix it, puttin by. Bout a week later, Poon, one day, held a scrap of paper up to Always, say, “That’s a A, that a B, and that a C. Ain’t they strangest?” Always took the scrap and studied on it, remem-berin some of the things Sun had taught her. She slept with it and finally stuck it in her mouth, chewed it and swallowed it and smiled. She already knew some from what Sun had taught, but this learnin over again made it easier and quicker for her.

Mistress Sue didn’t mind Always move to the fixed-up chicken house. Just took Always’s hand and said, “I don’t want you far away, I need you
close. The time is goin fast and my baby is near to bein born … and I’m scared. Oh, truly, I am frightened. My mama can’t come, she’s down sick. My daddy wouldn’t be no use, and my sister is havin her own. It’s only me and you.” She looked at the fullness of Always’s belly that matched her own. She could never decide whether to resent it or not, but her heart was not full of malice, so she threw the thoughts away. “Your time near, too. Poon will be some help. But I want you, only you, to help me.”

Always pressed Sue’s hand in return. She had grown to like this woman with the kind heart. “Don’t you be worry your mind, you gonna be just fine. I done asked questions bout babies comin from everybody I can walk to round here. I know aplenty.”

She had walked to the closest farms askin questions bout babies. While she was there she also found out bout things planted and growin. Any different things. Bout seeds and catalogues for Masr Butler, which she knew seeds would be in. She asked bout recipes and things wanted but not found in that region. She tried to learn everything
she could. She was already up to Z in the alphabet and could read small words and spell out long ones. She was learnin. My child. Doak let her walk about because she was on Mistress business.

My space, where I was, was warm and proud of my child-woman. See? I knew freedom was near, I could see it from here. I wanted her to live, and my grandbaby. Of all the grandchildren I was to have, and did have by Peach, this one of Always was already my favorite. Sun was still workin his way.

IN THE MEANTIME
. From time to time, and I didn’t know much bout my kind of time early on, when I would think on one or other of my children, swift as a second I find I am where I can see the one I’m thinking bout. That’s how I knew Peach was doin alright.

Thinkin hard on Sun, one time, I found myself where he was and stayed for a while.

Sun, still young, had been scrounging and makin his way north for some two years. Workin
here and there for practicly nothin. Doin odd jobs all along his way from the time his little money ran out. His bein white-lookin helped him a lot and he could read way enough to understand which way he was goin and many other things.

He had reached a place near some water with beaches. Layin on the beach one day, havin swum in his clothes for a bath, he got hungry as usual. The season musta been bout over for swimmin cause not many peoples was there and the food stands was not always open. But hunger can see things when satisfied can’t. Sun spied one with a man walkin round it and in and out of it, so he went over to see what he could do to get some food in him.

The man was just a-walkin and cussin and fussin, picking one thing up, settin it down only to pick up another and do the same thing. Sun was bout seventeen then. He was growin tall and hard times made him look older, even tho the young sunshine in his face told he was very young.

He greeted the white man in a mannerable way and asked him if there was some job he could do
in exchange for food. The man ignored him after a mean glance. After a minute, Sun asked again.

The man found his voice, which had a foreign accent, and ranted and rowed about people always be able to ask for somethin, but never able to do anything worthwhile to get it. “Just look at this place! A mess! I can’t get no cook to come and stay and work without them cheating me. Stealing me blind! Eating up my profit or giving it away to their friends. Then, leaving! They even leave sometime with the door open, so anybody can come in and help themself to anything that may be left.”