Falling Hard (Hidden Secrets Book 6) (9 page)

“I don’t want to get you into any trouble. You’ve been so kind to me. If I’m not supposed to go in there, then I won’t.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take it easy on myself when I reprimand myself for letting you go back there,” she winked. “I own this shop. Just keep it down,” she grinned.

I laughed. “Can’t promise anything,” I winked back.

Just as I stepped in the changing area, I heard Kristy talking down about herself. Pulling the door open, I stepped inside, shutting the door behind me hard.

Chapter Ten

Kristy

“Why would you want to cover trash with nice clothing like this? It’s just a waste of his damn money.”

Just as I finished talking, the door flew open and I had to throw my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming loudly. Nate stepped inside the changing room. He looked almost angry as he slammed the door behind him. The click of the lock seemed so loud as my heart hammered in my chest. The change room already felt on the small side, but having Nate’s bulky, hard, sexy body in here… It almost felt too small to breathe.

“What are you doing in here,” I hissed quietly.

“I came to check on you, but then I had to hear that.”

His look was intense and my body shook with both fear and desire. Not fear because I felt threatened by this man. No, this fear was far deeper than that. This was fear that the man before me who’s enjoying his vacation fling would see that my heart has decided to choose him to fall for.

“I…” I started to say.

“Turn around, face the mirror,” he ordered. No, commanded, and damn if it didn’t excite me a little… a lot.

Nate moved and stood behind me. Raising his hands, he placed them at the hem of my shirt. Pulling it slowly over my head, his fingers lightly feathered across my skin as he went, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. With my arms straight above my head, he grabbed my wrists in one hand and drew the shirt the rest of the way off with the other, throwing it behind him.

Next he removed my bra, all the while keeping my arms above my head. Once I was free of that, he held both my wrists in his hands and met my gaze in the mirror.

“Keep your hands above your head. Don’t let them drop,” his breath rippling over the skin on my cheek as he whispered in my ear.

Nodding my head, he ran his hands slowly down my arms, down my sides, and around to the front of my pants. He opened them up and lowered them down my legs slowly, taking my panties with them. Kneeling behind me, he told me to step out as he bit each of my bare butt cheeks before standing and tossing my jeans behind him. Nate leaned forward and bit my neck, then pulled his shirt over his head. Trailing kisses, licks, and nibbles around the back of my neck and up my arms, removing the remainder of his clothes in the process.

My legs were shaking with need and my arms were getting tired, but my eyes stayed locked with his. Nate’s hands went back to my wrists. Slowly, he trailed his hands down my arms again. As he crossed over my armpits, I laughed a little. But it quickly turned into a sigh as his hands found my breasts, squeezing gently. My head fell back against his shoulder with a moan. My hands fell to cover his.

“Look in the mirror, Kristy,” he whispered against my ear right before he raked his teeth across my earlobe.

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I looked in the mirror. The image was a picture of pure sensuality. There was a woman wrapped in the arms of a man so damn sexy it should be illegal. With his hands massaging my breasts, my flushed face, the deep, intense desire in his eyes it sent a shiver up my spine and a stutter in my heart.

This was a picture of love… If only from my side…

“Tell me what you see, Kristy?”

Just as he asked, he lowered one hand down between my legs, circling his finger around my swollen nub. Rocking my hips into his hand and against his erection behind me, I moaned. My head fell back to his shoulder and I closed my eyes just enjoying the feeling of having Nate’s hands on me. This was sex in public. It was hot and intense and this man was driving me insane. Just then a sharp, almost painful pinch shot from my nipple.  My head snapped up and my eyes popped open. Nate smirked.

“I asked you a question.”

“What?”

He chuckled. “What do you see in that reflection?”

My face fell, my heart sank, and before I knew it tears blurred my vision and I spit out the truth.

“A woman that doesn’t deserve what you are giving her. A waste of yours or anyone’s time. A woman that would be better off disappearing than being around for people to see. I see a woman at the end of her ropes and all it’d take would be one push, one step and it’d all be over. I see a vessel resembling a human being, but really feels like the dirt at your feet than anything resembling an equal partner. She’s a woman that does things she can’t stand to do just to make it through a day or a night.” I said as tears fell and dropped on his hands that were on my breasts, but he wasn’t massaging them anymore.

“A woman…” I swallowed hard getting ready to tell him the whole truth. “A woman that stole from you the first night we met so I didn’t lose the shack I lived in and I could eat, only to lose it anyway because a ghost from my past is hunting me down.”

He stared at me for a few moments. The only movement from him since I broke down was tightening his arms around me. I thought for sure because I stole from him that it was going to push him away. He should run. Run as far as he can and get the fuck away from me. No one needed me around them. Hell, I didn’t want to be around myself anymore. Just as I was about to pull away, he started to speak.

“First, though I hate that you went behind my back for my money, all you had to do was ask and I would have given it to you, I don’t care. You could have taken every last bit of my money and I still wouldn’t have cared because it helped you. Second, we will talk about the reason you lost your place later, but right now…” His hands moved back into action. “Right now I’m going to tell you what I see.”

Again, I found myself swallowing hard. “Okay…”

Nate began to massage my breasts again, “Before me, and in my arms, is a woman I’ve only ever dreamt about. A woman with eyes that pull me in every time she looks at me. Lips that scream at me to kiss. A body that taunts me and tortures me just looking at it. A body that satisfies me more than anyone has ever done in all my life. But I also see an intelligent woman that was handed shit cards and has hidden behind them. I see a woman that will change the world someday… Like she’s changed mine…” He turned my head and sealed his lips over mine.

Nate reaches down and lifts my leg to one of the benches. Stepping back only slightly, he readies himself, and then steps back into me. With one powerful thrust, he fills me to the hilt.

“Oh fuck!” I hissed.

Biting my ear, he whispered. “Shh, I’m not supposed to be in here.”

That was the last of the talking. As his thrusts started to pick up, I leaned forward some and braced myself on the mirror in front of me. As if having sex in public wasn’t enough of a sensory heightener, add the mirror in front of me where I can see him sliding in and out of me. I can see the look in his face.

“Holy Shit!” I moaned as my orgasm smashed into me like a freight train.

Pushing back into him as my orgasm started to reach its peak, Nate moaned loudly slamming into me one last time. His mouth next to my ear, he whispered.

“You’ve changed my world, Kristy. You’ve given me light when I couldn’t see. I’ll never be the same again. All because I had the absolute pleasure to meet you and spend time with you. Do you understand?”

Unable to say anything else, I nodded my head.
Could he possibly feel the same for me that I do for him? Could the thought of the end of his trip bring him dread as it does me?
For however long we have, I’m going to pretend that he does and I’m going to make sure he leaves with memories that will hopefully bring him back to me. Maybe even make him stay.

He moved us back to the bench behind us and collapsed on it, never breaking our connection. After a few minutes of lazy kisses, we separated and he dressed. I slipped on my underwear and bra.

“Okay, you can leave now. I need to try clothes on.”

He sat down on the bench behind me, resting his ankle on his knee. “Nope, I’m good right here. Let’s see some of the things you got.”

Over the next few hours, we spend shopping and Mrs. Darting, the sales clerk and shop owner, was tremendous help. I couldn’t even tell you how many bags I ended up with. Nate sat there patiently and kept asking me if I was sure that I got everything I needed. I had more than what I needed. This was going to be a lot to carry on my back as I walked through the city. We had to make a quick stop back at the hotel to drop off the bags and have yet another love making session that I reached my record amount of orgasms of four.

No one has ever paid so much attention to me. No one has ever cared about my happiness or pleasure. Even the few guys I slept with just because I needed to feel less lonely. They were in a race against themselves. Got their rocks off, rolled off, fell asleep, leaving me hanging. Nate is the first person to give me an orgasm period.

But because of our little detours, we had to run like mad idiots to get to the tour in time. Nate was laughing and smiling so much more than he was the first night I met him. Whatever he felt for
her
really must be out of his system because he’s not moping and not drinking himself stupid anymore. In fact, he hasn’t even asked for it. My heart almost shattered in my chest when I told him about stealing from him, but he really doesn’t seem to care.

The tour I was taking him on would give him everything that the harbor has to offer, plus a small cruise with a meal. It was really the best way for him to get everything in with not knowing when he’s going to be leaving. The thought of him leaving still killed me to even think about, but when I do, I just try to push it as far from my mind as possible.

We stood out on the deck, staring out over the water and seeing all the hot spots in Sydney. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me, kissed my shoulders, and then sighed.

“This is the perfect way to end a day, isn’t it? I’m one lucky bastard.”

“I think I’m pretty lucky too.”

The sun was setting. From the boat, you could see the lights from Cockle Bay and Darling Harbor lighting up the harbor. It was a surreal feeling honestly. Here I am having a fantasy day, with a man that may not be here tomorrow. Maybe this whole thing has been just one really good dream. Maybe I’ll wake up and realize that it never really happened. Maybe I’m really still unconscious in that alley where my
protection
beat the shit out of me and stole my money. Well, whatever it was… I was definitely enjoying it.

Sighing, I leaned my head back against his shoulder as a song began to play over the speakers. Nate slowly started to sway to it. The lyrics sent goose bumps over my skin, made my heart start hammering in my chest, and brought tears to my eyes.

Blake Shelton’s
God Gave Me You
, was a song that definitely spoke to how this man was making me feel. He slowly continued to sway us back and forth, his head buried in my neck.

I’ll never forget this. I’ll never forget you, Nate.

Chapter Eleven

Aaron

Walking in the door of my parents’ home, my nerves were stretched thin. I’m not sure the last time I’ve slept fully. I had a feeling when I first saw her. Call it intuition. Call it a gut instinct. I just knew it was her.

Mum sat in her rocking chair in the lounge room, staring out the window. This was her normal. It has been her normal for the past fourteen years. Dad would bring her food and a drink and really have to coax her to eat. I hated seeing my mother this way.

Dad wasn’t in any better shape. He quit going into work. I’ve been running the restaurant since I was sixteen. Dad stepped in when needed, but his heart wasn’t there, wasn’t anywhere. It ran away a long time ago and so did Mum’s.

Every day as the years ticked on, I had to watch them fall further and further into themselves with no way to bring them peace. Hell, I had no way to bring myself peace or my sister. All our lives changed that day. Our hearts all broke and a piece left us. None of our lives have ever found a reason to give up or heal. We knew in the end that it was our fault for the pain we are in.

“Mum, how are you?”

“Oh, Aaron. It’s so nice to see you today. Do you know what the temperature is going to be? What’s the weather going to be like?”

It was the same questions she asked me every day. Every time she saw me, she asked. She worried. We all worried. Living in Australia was dangerous, especially at night because of the wildlife. The weather half the time was unpredictable and harsh.

“It’s going to be a beautiful day. The temperatures are higher than normal this time of year.” I said as I took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“It looks windy. She’s going to get sick.”

“Mum?”

“Not today Aaron, please. Not today. I love you, but just not today.”

Sighing, “Fine Mum, but just today.”

“Okay,” she smiled sadly at me then patted my cheek.

“Where’s Dad?”

She shrugged and continued to stare out the door. Standing, I went in search of my father. Our house was extravagant, but what did you expect when you had an ocean in your backyard and a father that massed millions with his business ventures. I had a good feeling where he was. Especially today, so I headed upstairs. First door, my old bedroom. Second door, Rebecca’s old bedroom. Third door, Kristy’s room.

Standing in the doorway, I found my father sitting on her bed just staring at it. He stared at it like it was going to tell him where our sister was, where she’s been for the past fourteen years. No one knew where she went. The cops told us after a few days that she was probably dead, that there was no way she’d made it through the night let alone days.

“Dad?”

He jumped slightly. “Hey. When’d you get in?”

“Just a few minutes ago.”

“Do you know what I hate?”

I hate myself. Over the years, my hatred for myself has grown and grown. If I’d defended her that day… If I’d stood up for her… Instead, I watched how she was treated day in and day out by my parents and even by myself and Rebecca… I did nothing to help her. I was her older brother. I was supposed to protect her. Yet I have been one of them that pushed her away.

“What?” My throat clogged with emotion.

“That it took her leaving to realize how I was treating her and…” his voice broke and his body shook. “How much I love her.”

I hurried to my Dad’s side as he broke completely down for the first time in fourteen years. “I feel the same way Dad. I think we all do.”

“I miss her. She needs to come back home, Aaron. She…” he sobbed.

In all my years, I’ve never seen him like this. No, I have and it was the first night that we realized she was gone.

“Kristy! Get down here and eat. I’m not saying it again. Or you can starve for all I care!” Dad yelled up the stairs.

“That girl is so ungrateful. Not like my beautiful Rebecca,” Mum said, beaming at Rebecca sitting in her seat just as Mum said for her to do.

Rebecca was a puppet. She did everything Mum said for her to do. If Mum told her to pick her nose, I’m sure she’d do it. I didn’t like how she was with Kristy. I didn’t like how either of them treated her. If they’d only taken a moment to look at her, they’d see how brilliant she was, but they just never felt she measured up to Rebecca. Mum chose her favorite a long time ago and because of that Dad treated her the same way.

“Go up and get your sister, Aaron. She’s going to have a rude awakening when she gets down here. The selfish little brat. As if we don’t do enough for her, she’s got to throw tantrums like this,” he grumbled as he walked to his seat at the table.

Kristy was my favorite. She liked to play, get dirty, could carry a good conversation and enjoyed a lot of the same things I did. To me, it was like getting a brother that’d I’d eventually have to protect. She and I were inseparable until a couple months ago when she nearly drowned. I was so scared I’d lost my sister and I didn’t protect her. Then Dad came home and I had to switch off. He commanded me to be one way when he was around. It wasn’t that I wasn’t concerned about Kristy because I was, but I didn’t want the belt for not doing it. After that day, she quit talking to me. Actually, she quit being around any of us after that. She’d eat meals with us, but never spoke a word to us. I’ve heard her crying in her room before, but never knew why she was crying.

Knocking on her door, I waited for her to answer. I knocked a few more times before I opened the door. When I opened it, the first thing I saw was her dresser drawers open and most of them were empty. Then, as I stepped into her room, I saw envelopes on the bed. Upon further inspection, I saw that her hiking bag was gone as well. Panic hit me strong and hard. Before I even realized it, a scream ripped out of my throat as I yelled for my Mum and Dad.

The minute I could hear them in the hallway, I started screaming.

“She’s gone! Kristy’s gone! Oh my God! She ran away!”

As Dad stood in the doorway, he looked around her room, his face pale and I could see his hands shaking. Mum stepped into the room, looked around, then at her bed, seeing the letters there and fell to her knees with tears.

Dad walked to the bed in a daze. He grabbed the two envelopes that had their names on it. I picked up mine and handed Rebecca hers. Looking at my parents, I could see them staring at their envelopes just as I was. Mum shook vigorously and Dad knelt beside her.

Without looking up, dad spoke. “Read your letters. Maybe it will give us a hint as to where she’s gone and why she left.”

“Why she left!” I roared. “She left because she wasn’t loved! I can tell you that without looking at my damn letter. You hated her,” I pointed at Dad. Then I pointed at Mum, “You treated her as if she wasn’t your daughter, but some charity damn project.” I then turned to Rebecca, “You didn’t even talk to her or acknowledge that she was even around because you were too far up Mum’s arse! I was the only one that spent time with her, that cared about her… Then I screwed up and let her down by ignoring her like you all.” I ended softer than I started. “She left because she didn’t matter. That’s on us… not her. I’m not hungry anymore.” I stormed out of the room and into my room, slamming the door.

Sitting down on my bed, I held the letter in front of me. In my heart, I knew what it was going to say. It was going to tell me that I let her down. That she thought I cared about her, then I let her down when she needed me most. When she needed her big brother to speak up and tell the truth. But I didn’t, I just stood by and watched the pain (not from her leg, but from her heart) fill her eyes. Then I sat quietly by as the life left her eyes and she distanced herself from all of us. Her pain was just as much my fault as it was theirs and I will forever hate myself for it.

Just as I was about to open my letter, I heard a scream and ran from my room. My Mum had fallen to the floor in a sobbing mess and my Dad sat against the wall fairing no better than my Mum at this point. Why is that it takes losing something for people to realize what it meant to them? Even when that something was a person and was flesh and blood?

I walked into the room, my parents looked at me with devastation on their faces. It was my Dad that held up his letter to me, telling me to read it. Taking it from his hands, I read it aloud.

“Dad, there are many things I want to tell you, but the most important one is I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter you wanted. I’m sorry I was such a burden. I’m sorry I stayed for so long before I finally got the hint. Don’t worry. I’m gone now. Sorry for taking from you.”

My eyes met my Dad’s and hatred built in me. As much as I wanted to lash out and hurt him the way he’s hurt Kristy for so long, I just couldn’t do it. Because if I were honest, I was the same way toward her. Only I think I was worse. I let her believe she mattered one minute, and then treated her like she didn’t the next.

Mum then told me to read her letter. Again, I read it aloud. “Mum, I don’t know what to tell you. I let you down. I know that. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t graceful enough. I wasn’t you. Mum, I tried. Honest, I did. But when I couldn’t please you that way, I focused on school. Did you know that they felt I was being held back in my current year in school and wanted to send me to a school for all the extremely smart kids. They sent you a letter. You know the one that you grounded me for without even looking at it before you threw it in the bin. I ran out of options. I’m sorry for letting you down.”

“How can I sit here and pretend to be this amazing mum when one of my daughters was treated so poorly by me no less? How did I not see what I was doing to her?”

Rebecca cleared her throat and read her letter out loud. “Rebecca, count your blessings. You’re perfect. You’re everything that Mum and Dad have ever wanted in a daughter. You matter to them. Remember that as you get older that no matter what happens, you matter to them and to Aaron. Sorry for getting in your way.”

“What did yours say?” My Dad asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve not read it yet.”

Even after all these years, I still haven’t read my letter. My parents quit asking me what it said. They knew it would give them just as much as their letters did… nothing. We called the cops immediately after the break downs. But ever since that day, none of us have ever been the same. We all missed the one person that we treated like we wanted her to disappear.

“She ran away fourteen years ago today. My heart still hurts as much as it did the day she left. But even the pieces of my heart tell me she’s still around. That she’s survived, somehow, all this time.” Rebecca said as we all sat around the table with the last known favorite meal of Kristy’s.

Every year we all got together, no matter where life has taken my sister and me, we stay right here on this day. Mum is her weakest today and on Kristy’s birthday. She was thirteen years old when she left. A week after she ran away, she turned fourteen. My mind kept telling me she was gone, but my heart kept clinging to hope that she wasn’t.

Here it was though, another year and still no sight of her. My private detectives I’ve hired haven’t found a trace of her. Nothing over the years has given me even a smidgen of hope. Then one day, two times of running into the same woman, I just knew that it was fate leading me to her.

“I’ve brought my letter with me. I want to read it, but I want you guys to hear it too.”

Mum already had tears falling down her cheeks as she nodded her head. When Dad and Rebecca nodded, I slowly started to tear the seal on the envelope. Pulling the paper from it, I unfolded it carefully. Tears filled my eyes as they met the handwriting of my sister. My letter was longer than the others. My chest clenched tightly.

“Aaron, From as far back as I can remember, you’ve been next to me. We’d laugh. We’d fight. We’d scream. We’d sneak off to places that we weren’t supposed to in order to help me become a stronger broster.” I choked on the nickname I called her. Looking up at my family, “I always called her a broster because she was like my brother in a sister form.”

Mum rested her hand on my arm. “That’s sweet. Please keep reading.”

Nodding, I turned back to the letter.

“I thought with you by my side the way Mum, Dad and Becca ignored me or hurt me wouldn’t matter. There for a long time it did. I stayed there because of you. Because of the friendship and love I felt from you. Then you made me jump off that stupid cliff. When I was drowning, do you know what I thought? I thought that I was finally going to find peace. But then you saved me. You fought for me to survive and cried when I finally came around, but then when Mum and Dad were yelling at me and hitting me, you disappeared and I had no one. No one there that cared. No one that would miss me. I’m leaving, but I want you to know that no matter where I am, wherever I end up… The pain of that day will never heal. You hurt me far more than any of them ever did. There’s nothing in this world that will make that pain lessen. You made me think that I mattered to someone, but then you stomped on me just like everyone else. You broke my heart more than anyone. Wherever life takes you, I hope you learn that toying with someone, making them believe that you’re there for them, but not really being there, will eventually come back to haunt you. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next year… but it will. Karma always brings what we sweep away back to our doorsteps. Goodbye.”