Falling Hard (Hidden Secrets Book 6) (5 page)

Chapter Four

Nathan

Slowly, I started to wake from the best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time. Her scent still danced in my nose. Her touch still simmered over my body. A small smile started to make its way across my face. Sighing, I reach over expecting to touch the vixen that took my body by storm last night, but all I met was an empty bed. Opening my eyes, they confirmed what my hand felt. The bed was empty. Rising up on my elbows, I looked around the room.

“Kristy?” I called.

Staying quiet for a moment, I listened to see if the shower was running, but there was nothing. No sound. No sign of life in this hotel room. Disappointed, I climbed from the bed and headed into the bathroom to shower.

As I stood under the shower, my thoughts returned to last night. Her beauty, her simple, elegant beauty. Something about the way she looked at me last night told me that it wasn’t normal for her to dress like that, maybe even act like that. Her forwardness would have turned me off if it was any other woman, but this woman was different. She exudes this confidence, but then there’s this part of her that just isn’t sure of herself. That is what I find most attractive. I love confidence in a woman, but more often than not they are too confident. Kristy, she held the perfect amount.

Just thinking about her, about her body, and those ‘fuck me’ eyes, had me hardening. No amount of jerking it was going to stop this surge of hormones I’ve got coursing through my loins. No, only Kristy could solve that. But she wasn’t here and I needed to release badly.

Fisting myself, I worked my shaft hard and fast. Thoughts of Kristy starred behind my closed eyelids. I could still feel her lips wrapped around me, her hands running up and down my stomach and chest. My ass could still feel her nails digging into them. Picturing her breasts, how amazing she felt when she allowed me to show her exactly how my piercing could make her feel.

It was those moments that caused me to throw my head back as my orgasm took over me. It wasn’t as intense as the one I had last night, but it was still good. I was sated. At least until I found my vixen that is.

Walking out into the room to grab my clothes is when I saw the paper on the bed. I smiled and my heart jumped a little at this small piece that let me know that I hadn’t made her up in my head. That last night really happened.  Picking up the paper, I began to read it.

Nathan,

Thank you for one of the best nights of my life… No. The best night of my life. As the saying goes, ‘A different time. A different place…’, but really it’s if I were different. I’m glad I could bring in your birthday with you. Enjoy the rest of your vacation here. I’ll be remembering you whenever my eyes close. Take care of yourself.

Kristy

That wasn’t what I hoped it would say. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I’d hoped it would say, but this was basically a kiss off note. No way of finding her, no idea on if I’d see her again. No, she just told me good bye and thank you. Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose. Pushing myself to my feet, I got myself ready to leave the room.

It wasn’t until I was shaving that I realized for the first time I wasn’t assaulted by thoughts of Mary. All my thoughts were Kristy. Kristy pushed Mary out of my system.
That’s it Vicky is getting the best gift I can buy her when I get back.
  Thinking about Vicky had me thinking about everyone back home. I decide to ring Jake.

“Hey Nate, how’s vacation?” Jake answered in lieu of hello.

“Tell me again why it is you sent me on this stupid thing?” I grumbled, as I walked out into the room and sat on the bed.

“To get away from your torment, so maybe you can stop pouting like a baby and reclaim your balls. So you remember that you’re a man with a dick not a pussy,” I heard Danger’s distant voice.

“Asshole,” I grumble under my breath.

“To help you on your road to acceptance, brother.” Jake said in an attempt to smooth over Danger’s asinine comment.

Part of me wanted to scream that last night was my turning point. I wanted to tell him that I found a woman that spoke to me on such a deeper level than Mary ever had. But I felt like I’d let Jake down or they’d push me away because I was no longer interested in one of their sisters. So instead, I acted as if I’m still dwelling on Mary.

“Do you understand what I’ve done for the past fucking week? I’ve sat in this hotel room or down at the bar thinking constantly about her. About all the times we’ve shared, all the places we’ve had…”

Jake interrupted my speech as I knew he would. “Okay, man, remember that’s my little sister you’re talking about.”

“Sorry, but this is more torture than being there. At least there, I had you asshats to distract me.” I fake sighed and then got into why I really called. “How is everything over there? Kay have the baby yet? Eli come back and tell you what he’s been up to? You clean up? How’s things with you and Vicky?”

“Uh,” Jake said before a long pause, making my stomach flip. “Man a lot has happened since you left.”

The way his voice sounded, desolate and heartbroken, had my stomach turning even faster and my leg began to shake. Something has happened and here I am all the way over here helpless on the sidelines when my family needs me there.

“What’s going on? Why do I have a brick sitting in my stomach right now?” I said cautiously.

“Nate,” Jake’s voice broke.

“Just tell me, damn it,” I said panicked, standing to start gathering my things.

“Eli,” a pause as Jake choked on his name. “He’s…he’s gone, Nate.”

“Where’d he go?”

I flop back to the bed, a small bit of hope still clinging to my chest. My head rested in my hands for him to tell me he had run off to find a fling, a string of flings, anything that wouldn’t be what my head was telling me. Eli and I were close. In fact, he called me when I arrived at the hotel.

“Eli?” I answered.

“Hey little brother. How’d your flight go?”

It always made me feel good to have family around me. Aside from Jason, it has always been me against the world. Now, because of Jason again, I have more siblings than I know what to do with. Well, one was my world, but wanted nothing to do with me other than being my friend. Irony, right?

“It was long, not enough alcohol, an over friendly flight attendant, and not enough space. So the normal, I guess. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good. Really good actually. But don’t start fretting over me like the others. I have an advantage with you, I can hang up,” he joked.

“I’m sorry Eli. I failed you. You thought that Mary and I would be great together, hell I did too, but she’s with Tobey.”

“Nate, I thought you’d be great together, yes, but seeing my sister with Tobey… He’s who she’s meant to be with. I’m sorry for you and what you are losing, but when the right girl that is meant to be with you comes along… You’ll know it without a shadow of a doubt. In my heart of hearts, I know Mary isn’t the one.”

Huffing, “How can you be so sure?”

“Because your girl… Your girl will keep you on your toes, turn your world upside down and leave you with thoughts of them when they aren’t around. Your girl will love every bit of you no matter what it costs her.”

“That’s what…” I started, but Eli cut me off.

“Mary didn’t do that for you, Nate. Be honest with yourself. If she did all that for you, you’d never had let her leave,” he said sadly.

All I could do was sigh. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right! Ask the others, they’ll tell you. I’m never wrong,” he teased. “Seriously, Nate, I love you, brother. I want you to be just as happy, if not happier, as Mary and Tobey are, but you have to want it for yourself in order for you to find it.”

“Thanks man. I’ll try and make the best of this vacation. Promise not to go all stalker on your sister,” I half joked.

When Jake still doesn’t say anything and I can hear as if he’s actually holding his breath, I decide to break the silence.

“When?”

“Last week.”

“What!” I roared flying up to a standing position. “You didn’t think to call me? To tell me, a guy you consider your brother that one of my brothers passed away. The thought never crossed your mind? You never thought that maybe I might want to fucking be there!” I yelled.

“Now wait a minute here! We were going crazy! We got the call the night we took you to the airport. He passed the next day. Then I OD’d was in the hospital and mending until two days before his funeral. Then we find out that Eli has a wife and twins. Then Kayla has the baby. I lose Vicky. Sorry if my grieving prevented you from being here, but DAMN IT, I grew up with him. We shared a room. We fought over the bathroom. We went to school together. I helped him study up for his bar exam. Me, Nate, I spent all but one year of my life with him. I’m sorry in the midst of losing myself and almost dying, I didn’t pick up the fucking phone.” He hissed.

A tense pause followed his speech. The thought that everyone but me was allowed to tell him goodbye hurt me. Bet my last dollar that Danger was there. Bet he got to say goodbye to Eli. With my heart on the floor, I said one final thing to him.

“I’m sorry for
your
loss. My mistake, I thought we were family,” I said sadly before hanging up the phone.

Throwing my phone on my bed, I rest my elbows on my knees and pulling at my hair. The tears fell from my eyes landing on the floor between my feet. Eli was gone. My brother. The very man that was strength in human form, he was gone and I wasn’t even considered to make a fucking phone call. Not only has part of my heart left, but I was reminded again that I’m just a bystander. There when needed invisible when not. My heart broke, but this time I don’t think it could ever be put back together again.

“I need a fucking drink and a lot of them!”

This day started off with so much promise and one phone call ruined it. No, that’s not right. It didn’t ruin the day. It put it in prospective. A prospective that I once knew a long time ago, before one man made me believe that things could be different. That I didn’t have to be alone, nor was I meant to be alone.

Slipping on my socks and shoes, I headed out to get away from my pounding thoughts. Amazingly enough, the only thing that was on my mind aside from the heartbreaking realization of how delusional I’ve been was Kristy.

I walked around the city for a long while. Searching for something that would help me stop thinking, but the only thing I could think of that would do that was Kristy. She was consuming my thoughts. My phone wouldn’t stop ringing. I think every member of the Williams family has called and Jason too.

It was no use in talking to any of them. No one, not even Jason, who’s been with me since I was thirteen, even bothered to inform me about Eli. That really hurt. No, it was more than hurt. There wasn’t a word for how I felt, but maybe betrayed, neglected, hated, ignored, invisible, unloved, unwanted… The list was seemingly endless and any of them could easily describe how I felt, but not wholly.

So instead of focusing on the gaping hole in my heart, I searched out the one woman that warmed the chill that had filled me. The one woman that brought me back to life when I thought I’d never be again. The one woman that made me
feel
again.

Where are you Kristy? I can’t be the only one feeling this way.