Falling for Finn (9 page)

“Finn.”

He eased the underwear off her, dropping them on the floor, before straightening and leaning over her, looking down at her. Looking all the way down.

“Finn.”

“Oh, Green Eyes,” he whispered. “You are perfect.”

“Finn!”

His gaze returned to her face, and then he frowned, clearly seeing her growing fear. Concern filled his eyes. “What is it?”

Anna’s throat felt thick, tight. She wanted to cry. Her stupid brain betraying her, ambushing her with its fears again. Just when she thought she could lose herself…

“I don’t want to think,” she murmured in a cracked voice. “I don’t want to even try to remember. But I keep trying…”

Gently, Finn cupped her face. “Look at me, Anna. Keep your eyes on me, okay? Don’t look away. Stay with me.”

Wordlessly, she nodded. She’d done this before with him, just before doing something that had scared her: bungee jumping, skiing a steep hill, a stupid parachute jump. Taking strength from him because he had so much of it to spare.

“I’m going to touch you,” he murmured, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. “Let me, Anna. Concentrate only on my touch. On how good it feels. Can you do that?”

She sucked in a breath, inhaling the scent of him. And this time the familiarity of it grounded her. “Okay.”

His hand on her stomach, just resting there. Allowing her to get used to it. Then slowly moving lower, lightly stroking.

Anna tried another breath, everything tightening inside her, agonizingly sensitive to his touch. Battling the horrible sense of panic that clogged her throat.

“Eyes on me, beautiful.”

She looked into his face, into the darkness of his gaze. So familiar. Reassuring.

And then a light, stroking touch through the curls between her thighs. The soft pressure of his thumb brushing her clit. Lightning flashed the length of her body, a small scream tearing from her throat. So intense. What was he doing to her?

Desperately, she kept her eyes on his, seeing a flame burn in the depths.

“Open your legs, Anna.”

She didn’t want to. She did want to. “Finn…God…”

“God,” he repeated, husky and soft. “Yes, I get that a lot.”

Strangely, in the middle of all of this, a laugh caught in her throat. The panic eased again. “You’re so arrogant,” she managed hoarsely.

His mouth curved, a familiar, heart-stopping smile. “I know. It’s a gift.”

And this time the tightness in her throat had nothing to do with panic or fear, and everything to do with him. Making it okay for her.

“Finn…” she began, then stopped, not even sure what she wanted to say.

“What is it?”

“Thanks for being patient.”

Another flickering smile. “Anything for you, Green Eyes.” His hand moved, stroking her curls, tugging gently, an almost playful movement. “And now, if you could just spread your legs for me a little more…”

It seemed only fair.

Anna relaxed and let her thighs fall open.

Sunlight from the windows above them tipped his blond hair as he tilted his head, looking down at her again. The expression on his face made her breath catch, all the teasing humor having drained away, leaving nothing but naked hunger and raw desire. “Wider,” he ordered, his voice gone rough.

And she found herself obeying him, responding to the dominance in his tone. Wanting it. Because thinking was too hard. Making decisions was too hard. It was easier having someone tell her what to do.

His hand touched her inner thigh, darkness flaring in his eyes as his fingers moved, sliding over her, tracing, then stroking the slick, hot flesh of her sex. She gasped at his touch, shuddering as electricity arced through her, almost blinding in its intensity.

“Ah, Christ, Anna.” The hoarse sound of his voice made her shiver. “You’re so wet.”

Slowly, he slid a finger inside her and she trembled, panting. Then another joined the first. Somehow she’d grabbed on to his shoulder, digging her nails into the hard muscle beneath his skin.

Her hips lifted almost of their own volition as his hand began to move in a slow, maddening rhythm.

He lowered his forehead against hers and she could hear his breathing, ragged and fast. “You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about this. About touching you. Feeling you so hot and wet for me.” Another harsh breath. “I want to make you come.” She couldn’t speak, shivering at the raw eroticism of his words. And then she couldn’t seem to think either as his thumb circled her clit again, sending white lightning everywhere. The hand between her thighs moved faster, harder. Another brush across that agonizingly sensitive bundle of nerves. Her nails digging into his flesh. Her hips moving against his hand. So good. God. So good.

“Please, Finn,” she said, gasping. Frantic.

“Yes. Green Eyes. Yes. Come for me.”

A simple twist of his hand and, as if her body had decided it would obey him in all things, she felt herself come apart, the climax rushing through her, over her, washing her away.

He’d never seen anything so beautiful in all his life. Anna, crying out her climax in his arms. Underneath his hand.

He used to feel guilty for fantasizing about her. For objectifying her. And for prolonging the agony of wanting something that would never, ever happen. So he’d stopped, tried to be good.

But this…the reality. Jesus Christ, she was so much better than his fantasies.

The liquid heat of her around his fingers, the musky scent of her arousal between them. Her little pants, her cries. Green eyes turning black as desire had overcome her, body arching as she’d come against his hand.

Finn sucked in a ragged breath, feeling the hot pulse of her sex around his fingers, the bite of her nails against his skin. Difficult to hold himself back, but he’d been doing it so long another couple of minutes wouldn’t make much difference.

Blocking out the pain in his cock, he closed his eyes, wanting to fix this memory forever in his head. Wanting to hold on to it for as long as possible.

When she shifted a little, he opened his eyes and finally withdrew his hand, looking down at the flushed, panting woman beneath him. The look on her face was almost stunned, green eyes wide. Brown hair stuck to her forehead and cheeks, perspiration slicking her skin.

Stunned, yes. But not scared. Not now.

He smiled at her. Then put his fingers in his mouth.

Her eyes went round. “Finn!” A shocked sound.

“What? You taste delicious.” And she did. Spicy and salty and so damn good.

He licked his fingers, watching her black lashes flutter as her gaze dropped to his mouth as if hypnotized. No, definitely not fear this time.

God, he wanted to lick her. Taste the spice and salt of her. But he didn’t know if he could bear waiting any longer. He had to be inside her. Had to.

He bent, brushing his mouth over hers. “You sure you don’t have any condoms in that backpack of yours?”

“Uh…you don’t have any?”

“Yeah, but they’re in the bathroom. Backpack’s closer.” He moved down her body, licking her throat, tasting her skin, salt and sweat and honey. Oh Jesus, he was never going to be able to get enough of her.

“Ummm….front pocket.”

He moved lower, circling her nipple with his tongue, then drawing the hard bud of it into his mouth. A little, helpless moan, her body arching into him. So responsive. No sign of her earlier tension, thank God. He wanted to make her scream, but not with fear. Never that.

Reluctantly, he released her nipple, a certain satisfaction coiling through him as she made a little protesting sound. Moving off the couch he bent to grab the backpack. Sure enough, the condoms she’d brought with her were in the front pocket. All two of them.

“Two?” he said as he turned back to the couch. “Not very optimistic, were we?”

Anna pushed herself up on her elbows, hair falling forward around her face. “Two’s plenty, isn’t it?”

Shit, she really thought that? Not while she lay there on the cracked leather of his couch, naked and flushed, every inch of her so perfect, so beautiful, it made his heart stop.

“No,” he said, and he meant it.

“Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten you were Mr. Adrenaline Junkie.”

“Better believe it.” He straightened, getting rid of his boxers. Then he came over to the couch, ripping open the packet.

She kept darting little, wide-eyed glances at him, the blush deepening on her face. There was something vulnerable in her expression. Something that made his chest tighten again.

She
was
vulnerable. He had to remember that. For the past six months she’d been through hell.

“You okay?” he asked softly as he knelt between her thighs, running his hands from her knees to her hips in a gentle stroke.

“Yeah.” But she wouldn’t look at him.

He reached out, pushed back one lock of hair. “This isn’t just about the attack, is it?”

Slowly, she shook her head.

The heavy feeling in his chest got even heavier. “Is it us?”

Black lashes rose, green eyes meeting his. “Yes. It’s freaking me out just a little bit.”

He tightened his jaw against the savage urge to say there was nothing freakish about what was happening. Nothing to be freaked out about. It was good. So damned good. But he didn’t say that. “What is it that’s freaking you out?”

“You and me. It’s just…weird. I can’t get my head around it.”

“Do you need to?”

“I think I have to. One minute you’re Finn. My Finn. The next…” She stopped, looked down. “The next you’re like a stranger. It’s confusing.”

A stranger. Pain twisted inside his heart. Because he wasn’t confused. Not in the slightest. She wasn’t a stranger. She was Anna, in his arms, being where it felt like she’d always meant to be. Like the missing piece of a jigsaw finally slotting into place. The missing piece of their relationship. What was confusing about that?

“Are you saying you don’t want this?” He could barely say it aloud.

Her chin lifted, a stricken look on her face. “No. No, I didn’t mean that. I’m just afraid we won’t be able to come back from it.” Her throat moved. “Finn, I don’t want to lose what we have together. I don’t want to lose your friendship. I can’t lose it.”

The pain twisted harder. “You won’t lose it, Green Eyes. You can’t. I promise.”

But the stricken look didn’t leave her face. “I can’t stop thinking this is a mistake.”

Strange that such soft words could cause so much anguish. “It’s not a mistake,” he said hoarsely. “It doesn’t feel like one to me. It feels like you’re right where you should be.”

Anna blinked, and he wished suddenly he hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t given himself away. Because even now, even here, it was clear she didn’t feel it. Didn’t feel it like he did.

“Maybe.” Her chest lifted in a ragged breath. “But I don’t think we should do this again. Okay?”

No,
he wanted to say.
No. We need to do this again. And again. And again until you feel it. Until you feel what I’m feeling right now.

What the fuck, Shaw? It’s almost like you’re still in love with her or something.

Finn felt something cold take hold of him. No. He wasn’t in love with her. Maybe once, maybe a long time ago. Not now though. He wasn’t going through that pain again. Be that fucking loser surviving on nothing but longing.

So stop thinking about all this ‘jigsaw’ bullshit, okay?

“Okay,” he said. To her. To the snide voice inside his head.

Anna nodded and although he tried not to, he could see the relief on her face. Her hand lifted. “Give me the condom.”

The part of him that was proud wanted to toss the condom on the ground. Get up from the couch and dress. Leave her there. Leave her to her relief.

But that part of him couldn’t fight the desire that still gripped him by the throat. Gripped him tight and wouldn’t let go. And just for a small second, he hated that part. Hated himself for wanting her so much. Hated her for making him feel that way.

She took the condom in her small, neat hands, then leaned forward, a frown of concentration on her face. Anna, absorbed in a task. He’d seen that look so many times but never quite like this.

When she touched him, he thought he would come on the spot, the feel of her fingers on his cock enough to make his jaw crack with the strain of holding himself back. Then the gentle pressure as she rolled the latex down over him…

Holy fuck. If this was how she made him feel with her hands, how would he cope when she was wet and tight around him?

She looked up then, and his anger vanished at the look on her face, at the satisfied smile that curved her luscious mouth. A smile that said a job well done.

And just like that, he’d reached the end of his control.

He caught her beneath her arms, pushed her back against the soft leather of the couch, in between the back and the arm of it so she was half sitting, half lying.

She gave a little gasp, eyes going wide as he reached down and pulled her legs over his knees, hauling her hips high and close to where they needed to be. Then he moved one hand between her thighs, spreading the soft, wet folds of her sex.