Fake (11 page)

I kissed him.

Not chaste, or sweet, but with all the lust that was coursing through my veins. Our tongues entwined and my hips moved of their own accord, grinding down into him, desperately trying to gain some friction where I needed it so badly.

I closed my eyes and savoured the feeling of having him underneath me. I wanted him, right there, that second, I’d have done anything to have him inside me.

He, on the other hand, had different plans.

He flipped us over and held my hands in both of his down by my sides. I felt my eyes widen in a silent question.

Staring at me for a beat, he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip so slowly that I genuinely thought I was going to internally combust.

So. Damn. Erotic.

He smirked and released his lip, but bought his face down close to mine and whispered, “Can I touch you?”

I nodded quickly.

Probably too quickly because I was so eager to have his hands on me. He released his grip on my hands and sat back on my thighs, sliding his eyes over me in a way that felt physical. I felt his gaze heating me from the inside out and wiggled my hips to get him to just...
move.

His hands crept up my sides, dragging my red work t-shirt with them and he whipped it over my head, leaving me in my black trousers and bra. My breaths come short and fast as I tried to control my reaction to him, but nothing worked. The man knew how to play my body like his personal instrument.

“Tell me when to stop.” He muttered as his lips descended on the skin just below my collar bone.

The touch was whisper-soft but I felt the shot of it straight to my core. I’d never tell him to stop.

Not. Ever.

He kissed his way down between my breasts, and followed the line all the way down my quivering stomach. He stopped when he reached the button on my trousers, but sent me a wicked grin before flicking the button open with his thumb and forefinger.

God damn.

That look was hot enough to melt the panties straight off any women. I was just lucky that I got to
be
that woman. My eyes rolled back and I sighed. Luck had never been a big part of my life, but right then, in that moment, I was the luckiest woman in the entire world.

Edging my trousers and panties down my thighs, he didn’t take his eyes off my exposed skin and I watched as his eyes turned molten.

Something about that look made my legs quiver.

*~*~*

Ruben

I had to have her.

She was standing in the kitchen, looking all domestic and talking about making bloody
noodles and bread
for dinner and the caveman in me me just
had
to have her.

I knew she was a virgin.

I needed her to offer that gift to me, but it didn’t mean we couldn’t play in the meantime.

Having her lying beneath me, her chest rapidly rising and falling with every breath, her thighs shaking and the scent of her arousal surrounding me.

I felt like the luckiest guy in the whole damn world.

Sliding the tip of one finger over her clit, I could have come in my trousers like a teenage boy when she moaned and threw her head back. The way she reacted to my touch made me want to ‘roar’ and beat my chest.

Coating my fingers in her juices, I slipped one, then two inside her and stroked her inner walls.

Keeping my eyes on her face to gage her reaction, I sped up the motion and twisted my fingers inside her pussy as I felt her muscles tighten. She grabbed my wrist to stop me when the pressure was too much for her, but I wanted her to have the release she needed after a long day at work.

She cried my name and swung her head from side to side, her insides quivered and I lowered my head to suck on her clit, drawing out her orgasm.

The taste of her on my tongue just made it
that much
sweeter.

I don’t care what any guy says, ever, there is
nothing
that makes us feel like a real man more - than making your woman orgasm and feeling, hearing, tasting and experiencing every damn second of it.

Lydia’s skin shone, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were still closed so I crawled over her and pulled her into my chest. I rained kisses across her neck and collarbone as I waited for her breathing to even out.

“Ruben?”

“I’m right here, Lyds!” I joked.

“Why did you stop?”

I knew what she meant, but I couldn’t answer her. Fact remained that she was a virgin and I’d only had her back in my life for just over six weeks. We hadn’t even been an ‘us’ for three of those weeks, so it just felt a bit...wrong.

I needed to earn it.

“I just wanted to give you that. We’re not ready for more.”

She frowned and leant up on one elbow.

“Who says? I want you, I
know
you want me too,” her eyes drew to the bulge still begging for attention in my trousers. “So why do you stop every time? I never even get to touch you!”

I knew she wouldn’t understand. I took a moment to think of the best way to say what needed to be said.

Sucking in a breath of air, I explained.

“Ok, I know you said that I’m not taking advantage, but we’ve gone from zero to sixty at the speed of light. I just think maybe you should give yourself a bit more time before you go making any decisions you might end up regretting in the long run. Who’s to say that you won’t wake up in a couple of weeks and realise that you’re not
in
love with me? It could happen. Everything has changed for you in less than two months and I’m just...um...
uneasy
about going any further until I know I’m what or who you really want.”

I was pretty sure that was a damn good explanation, so I lay back and threw my arm across my eyes.

I didn’t expect her to shove me across the bed, so when she did, my arms flailed and I landed with a ‘thud’ on the floor.

“What the hell?!”

I looked up into Lydia’s scowling face hanging over the edge of the bed and frowned at her.

“You’re so full of shit. My life is
better
now. I’m not a child for God’s sake! So don’t treat me like one. I know what I want, it’s
you
who’s too scared to act on it. What exactly is it that you’re afraid of, Ruben? That you’ll finally fall in love with me? That you’ll have to actually share something about yourself with me? That you’re shit in bed? I’d love to know. Genuinely. Because I’m not the one doubting myself. So damn you for thinking I don’t know my own mind.”

Well. Shit.

Chapter Twelve

Lydia

Men! They’re more trouble than they’re worth.

Looking down at him sprawled on the floor, I fought the urge to giggle at how adorably confused he looked. It really wasn’t a difficult thing to grasp.

He clambered back up onto the bed and stared at me.

“I do love you. I am
in
love with you. I think I always have been.”

Erm, wow. I hadn’t expected that.

He had been so aloof in the previous couple of weeks, I was starting to think that he regretted coming to get me from the estate at all. But even when he was aloof - he was still generous, kind...loving. So I guess I just missed the signs.

Men think women are confusing?

I couldn’t figure out his thinking at all! He was like a puzzle that I was determined to solve.

“I love you too, Ruben.” I muttered shyly.

“Are you sure you want this, Lydia?” He asked, staring into my eyes. I stared right back at him, I had no doubts what-so-ever. “Because I swear to you, we do this, you give me this, I’ll never let you go again. Ever. Tell me you understand that.”

“I know.” I whispered, because I did. What he failed to understand was that I’d been his since I was seven years old. I’d been waiting for this day for eleven years.

I think he was more nervous than I was. I was nervous – excited, he was just nervous.

He still looked undecided about whether we should be doing any of it and I didn’t want that for him. I didn’t want him feeling guilty or second guessing anything. I was eighteen, damn it!

I knew my own mind.

His body was more than on board with my decision, I could feel him hard against my thigh and a tremor ran up my spine, spreading goose-bumps along its trail. I did that. I caused him to have that reaction and it made feel like I held some of the power in our relationship, right in the palm of my hand.

I brushed my hand against the tip of his erection and bit my lip to hide my smile when he grunted and his muscles tensed. He didn’t miss my reaction.

He narrowed his eyes on me.

“You think that’s funny, do you? I’m in agony here, Lyds. Pure agony.”

“I don’t think that’s funny. But I do think it’s funny that you’re holding yourself back from this, from getting the relief you’re craving, when I’m offering it to you on a silver platter.”

He groaned and threw his head back on the pillow, lifting his arm to hide his eyes.

“It’s not like I don’t want to.
Clearly
, that’s not the case,” he pressed his hand to his erection. “But girls are weird about this shit and I don’t want you to regret it.”

I scoffed.

Right, time to pull out the big guns.

I sat up on the bed and crossed my legs. Insecurities roared to the surface of my mind but I beat them back with a metaphorical wooden stick. I was hiding nothing,
not a single thing.
Naked as the day I was born, I sat and waited for him to move his arm from his face. When he did, his reaction made my self-consciousness vanish.

His eyes turned molten and his ran them slowly, oh so slowly, across my skin. He rolled them back in his head and groaned, “Oh hell!” Under his breath.

“You can’t do that.” He grunted.

“Can’t do what?”

I tried to make my voice sound unaffected and innocent. I may have given myself away though.

“Sit there like that, all sexy and gorgeous and completely unabashed. God, damn it! Do you have any idea how fucking hot you look right now?”

Well, duh!

I licked my lips as I stared at his cock, still jutting proudly away from his body. I wanted to know what that felt like in my hand, in my mouth...but I wanted to feel it inside me more.

I wanted that, badly.

I could not, would not, wait any more. I crawled forward towards him, watching as his body tensed and his eyes grew weary. I straddled his hips and shivered when I felt his cock stroke my inner thigh.

“No more waiting, Ruben. You’re right, girls are ‘weird about this shit’. If by weird, you mean we actually want it to mean something. But this is
us
, I love you and you love me. Are you going to ditch me tomorrow and never speak to me again?”

“Fuck no!” He denied.

“Exactly. This is happening, Ruben. I want you to have it and I want you to know that you are the only person who has, or will, ever been
literally
inside of me.”

We stared at each other for what felt like forever, but I knew the exact moment he’d made his decision because he rolled us over so that I lay beneath him again and he pushed my legs further apart so he could fit comfortably between them.

My heart raced with excitement and my breathing escalated.

“I fucking love you.” He swore, like a prayer, before he took my mouth in a gentle kiss that made my body feel weak. He tangled his tongue with mine and I let him take whatever he needed from my mouth, trying to silently prove to him that I was never going to regret giving him my virginity.

He teased my clit with his fingers and I moaned into his mouth. He was just too damn good with his hands.

Sinking two fingers inside me, he twisted and curled them, making my hips grind harder into his hand. I was already ready, but I knew he was trying to prepare me. I grabbed his hips and pulled him tighter to me, trapping his hand between our bodies and he laughed lightly.

Raising up on his arms, he gave me one final look, gauging my reaction. He removed his fingers and grabbed his cock in his fist, I watched, not able to tear my eyes away from the erotic sight. He stroked himself once, twice and my eyes rolled back. Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing and I knew it when he grinned at me, wickedly.

He lifted his hips and plunged inside me without any other warning. I sucked in a breath and squeezed my eyes together.

Shit! That did not feel good.

I’d heard stories about how much it hurt, but I hadn’t really believed it would. People had sex every day; it was supposed to feel good! He lowered his chest and framed my face with his hands, until I opened my eyes. I blinked my tears away and tried to give him a reassuring smile but he wasn’t buying it. He had guilt written all over his face, but there was still an unholy amount of lust there too. That lust gave me the push I needed to lift my hips, encouraging him to move. The second time he thrust, burning pain shot through me again and I bit my lip to hide it.

“It’ll get better babe, I promise.” He whispered.

He moved again and it was no better. Then again, and it just felt uncomfortable, not painful. I lifted my feet and wrapped legs around his hips as he moved a fourth time.

Better.

Much better.

Even though I still didn’t get what the big deal was yet, I was just grateful that it didn’t feel like I was on fire anymore. He was still staring at me like he was waiting for something.

“I’m good, I’m good. I swear. I need you to move more.” 

His lips tipped up at the ends and that’s when he really started to move. He kept a slow pace of short thrusts, swivelling his hips against me every time we touched.

I decided that I really, really like that hip swivel.

He pulled himself out further, thrust back in harder and we both moaned. My moan must have been what he was waiting for because the moment changed. His dark eyes turned black and he plunged into my sex over and over again until I was panting with desire.

His grunts became ragged and choppy as his rhythm faltered and he buried his face in my neck and groaned. I felt him swell harder inside of me and then he stopped, giving me his whole body weight.

That’s it?!

I lay there, about a thousand vibrations away from orgasm, completely confused.

I was convinced he was going to lift his head up and say ‘just kidding’ with a grin, but that didn’t happen. 

“I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. Give me ten minutes and I’ll make it up to you.” He muttered into my neck.

I didn’t want to do it again. Frankly, the ‘pleasure’ wasn’t worth the pain and if that was all there was to brag about, I wondered why anyone did it for fun.
That
was it?
That
was what all the girls in my school would gush about in the hallways?
That
was what those same girls would wear tiny skirts and low-cut tops to get?

I didn’t even break a sweat.

“I know what you’re thinking and
no
it’s not usually like that. You’re just so damn hot and tight, and it was your first time so I was trying to hold back at first. But shit, it was like the thought of claiming you went to my head and I couldn’t stop myself.” Ruben said when he lifted his head to look at me.

As much as I believed that he really couldn’t help himself, me being ‘hot and tight’ didn’t make me feel better. It wasn’t like I was going to be any different the next time, or the time after that.

Did he think I’d all of a sudden become ‘cold’...and have a wizards sleeve for a vagina? Urgh, the thought made me shudder.

I felt on the verge of tears because I’d built this moment up so much in my mind and it was just nothing like I’d expected. I didn’t feel different and I didn’t feel special, I just felt...disappointed.

I realised that I hadn’t spoken since
it
happened, that was probably safer though because I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to say anything very nice and I really didn’t want him to feel bad.

Ruben talked about sex like it was incredible, so maybe it was just me who couldn’t do it right?

The thought made my brain stumble. Oh God, maybe it really was all my fault and he wouldn’t want me anymore because I couldn’t do ‘sex’ right. I needed to prove myself, and quickly.

I pushed his shoulders a bit and ignored the twinge of pain between my legs as he rolled off me and I got to my knees. I checked the sheets for blood, because I’d heard that could happen, but there wasn’t any.

At least one good thing happened, I guess.

When he was sprawled across the bed, looking every inch the satisfied man he claimed to be, I launched myself at him. Clumsily, I took his semi-erect cock in my mouth and forced him to back of my throat. I gagged a little but powered through it because I had a point to make.

I could do this, damn it!

“Whoa...!” He grunted as I took him deep a second time.

His fingers were in my hair trying to slow me down, but this was what men liked. I knew they did because I’d watched porn and that’s how those women did it. Had it been too slow, too gentle before? I wondered if he had just been pretending to like it...because he liked
me
and didn’t want me to feel bad.

Well fuck that. I didn’t want to be a pity fuck.

I realised, with a slight bemusement, that the tangy, salty flavours I could taste on his cock, were how we tasted
together
. The thought instantly made me melt. I could feel myself getting wet again and pushed my thighs together. Weird how a single thought could bring me more pleasure than the first time I had actual sex.

I bared my teeth a little and gently ran then along the length of his shaft, confident in the knowledge that guys liked it.

Apparently, I was wrong.

He jack-knifed up and his cock slipped from my mouth. I frowned up at him; that was
not
supposed to happen.

“Jesus, Lydia! What the fuck? I know I didn’t exactly perform well just then, but there’s no need to punish me!” He looked genuinely angry with me and tears pricked my eyes. His shoulders slumped and his gaze softened.

“What’s all this?” He asked, referring to my tears.

I took a few stuttering breaths and answered him. “I-I-I...I thought that’s what men wanted? I just thought I’d try and get better at it for you...”

He looked bemused; I didn’t think it was that confusing. Shaking his head a couple of times, he pulled me alongside him so that we were connected from ankle to shoulder.

“As much as I love your mouth wrapped around my cock, babe, teeth are a big
no!
It was like pure agony!” He was serious, but it was said with humour.

“But...” I couldn’t tell him I’d watched porn, so I just bit my lip.

“Why did you do it?”

Hell no, I’m not answering that!

I held my breath, hoping he’d let me get away with it. He did, thank God!

He shook his head again, “Doesn’t matter. Just, for future reference, cover your teeth!”

I nodded and my cheeks heated. Could I actually do
anything
right?

We lay in silence for a moment or two. He was lazily running his fingers up and down my side, stopping when he reached my hip and moving back up. My body relaxed under his touch and within minutes I was asleep.