Faith (43 page)

‘I once saw a picture of Laura in a men’s magazine,’ Stuart said. ‘Page three stuff. Was it you got her that?’

‘Aye. She was too old really, but I wanted to help her out. She was skint, and I was always a soft touch for single mothers. Worst day’s work I ever did though – she poached my girls and set up on her own.’

‘She didn’t! The ungrateful little minx,’ Stuart exclaimed.

David had to bite back a chuckle for Stuart sounded as though he was entirely on Fielding’s side. ‘Did you get back at her for it?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t have to,’ Fielding growled. ‘Whatever she and her pal made went up their noses or down their throats, and they were small fry anyway. I called all the shots in Glasgow at that time and I knew they wouldn’t get very far.’

‘Laura worked in promotions in London before I met her,’ Stuart said, seemingly innocently. ‘I heard she was pretty good and knew the business well.’

Fielding looked at him sharply. ‘You knew her before she got into drugs, laddie. You wouldn’t like what she became.’ He got up stiffly from his seat. ‘It’s time I checked my tills, nice talking to you both. Be lucky.’

‘What do you reckon?’ David asked as they walked back up the Grassmarket to the flat they’d rented. They were both disappointed that they hadn’t managed to get anything out of Fielding that suggested he had a motive to kill Jackie, or indeed any information about his personal and business life. The abrupt way he had cut them off suggested he was suspicious of their interest in him too.

‘Fielding’s a weasel,’ Stuart spat out. ‘But somehow I don’t think he had a hand in her death.’

‘Why?’

‘He would never have owned up he knew Jackie if he had. He might be old but he’s no fool. Besides, it struck me that he had liked and admired her, as much as a slime-ball like that is capable of such emotions.’

‘So what do we do now?’

‘You go over to Fife tomorrow, book into Kirkmay House and see what you can get out of Belle and Charles. I’ll go and see Angela, the woman that took over Laura’s shop. I’ll join you in Fife so we can compare notes. I want to have another chat with the barmaid in Cellardyke and see if she knows who Growler is. I’ll meet you in the Smugglers Inn, on the harbour in Anstruther, at lunchtime on Tuesday. Is that okay?’

‘Fine,’ David replied. ‘But how did it feel facing Fielding again after all these years?’

‘Bit of an anti-climax, really,’ Stuart said thoughtfully. ‘He’s just an old man still playing at being a hard nut. Shame he didn’t say anything to wind me up, I could have reinstated the nightly brawls there used to be in that pub. He deserves a punch in the nose for dragging Laura into all that.’

David said nothing for a little while. He was thinking over everything he knew about Laura and what had been added to it tonight.

‘What if she did really do it, Stuart?’ he said eventually.

‘She didn’t,’ Stuart replied.

‘But how can you be so sure? Lies, porn, drugs and child neglect. Why not murder too?’

Stuart turned to him and caught him by the lapels of his jacket. For a second David thought he was going to head-butt him, something he’d seen him do to other men in the past.

‘I know her,’ he growled. ‘I lived with her for over two years and I saw right down to her soul. She could lie and cheat, she wanted stuff I couldn’t give her then, but she had no violence in her. I can still see right down to her soul, past all the crap life has thrown at her since we parted. And I tell you she didn’t do it.’

‘Okay, Stu.’ David took a step back from his friend. ‘I’m just worried you’re getting in over your head. You aren’t the same man that left Edinburgh twenty years ago, and I doubt she’s the same woman either. If only we could have got Fielding to talk more about her ruining his business!’

‘She didn’t,’ Stuart said. ‘She started a brand-new one. He’s just pig-sick cos he hadn’t jumped in there before her.’

David realized then that Stuart hadn’t told him everything in Laura’s letter. ‘So what was the business then?’

‘Blue movies. And she made a lot of money.’

Laura couldn’t settle to read that evening. She was twitching with anxiety, wondering what Stuart and David were doing and who they were talking to. Remembering the past was bad enough, but when she’d come to write it down, it looked even worse. She hadn’t been able to get further than telling Stuart she’d gone into making blue movies. But perhaps it was a mistake to leave why, and how, to his imagination. If he had tracked Robbie down and persuaded him to talk, he would almost certainly distort the truth.

From the day she was stupid enough to spend the afternoon with Robbie in his hotel room, her feelings had fluctuated between gratitude to him for giving her a chance to earn good money when she most needed it, to the belief he was a rat of the highest order when she saw that he had always earmarked her for pornography. But once she had established herself as a veteran in the business, her opinion of him became ambivalent. On the rare occasions he came into the Glasgow studio she would chat to him; sometimes they even had a friendly drink together after a session.

But in May 1977 his wife left him to go and live in France, taking their children with her, and over a drink he confided in her.

Laura was not surprised. She knew he had been a lousy husband and an absentee father, and no doubt his wife was sick and tired of always coming second to his business interests.

What was surprising was that Robbie was devastated. As he blurted it all out to her tears welled up in his eyes and he said he didn’t think he could live without her.

Laura had plenty of reasons to be glad he’d got his come-uppance, not least that he was now experiencing the same kind of pain she’d felt when Stuart left her, but despite everything she couldn’t take any pleasure in his misfortune. She felt genuinely sorry for him.

Throughout that summer she saw a great deal of him as she nursed him through his crisis. In his vulnerable and bruised state she found him to be a far nicer, gentler man than she’d thought. They had many a heart-to-heart over drinks or dinner, and he often came over to Edinburgh at weekends and took her and Barney out for the day. A seven-year-old boy needed male company and even though Laura didn’t think Robbie was an ideal father figure, he was good with Barney. He played football with him, took him on scary rides at fun fairs, and added a little balance to his otherwise female-dominated life. It was during that period that she took Robbie over to Fife to meet Jackie.

Looking back, she supposed she wanted Jackie’s approval. She felt her friend was suspicious about how she made her living, and Robbie could be utterly charming when he chose to be. She hoped he would put Jackie’s mind at rest that both she and Barney were fine, and perhaps too she wanted to show Robbie that she did have some friends who weren’t low life.

Jackie had developed a hard edge since she got into property; she wasn’t above a little conniving or jiggery-pokery to get what she wanted. Although Laura hadn’t been aware that day that Jackie saw Robbie as a useful ally, she clearly did, for she took his phone number and it transpired much later that she’d got him to act on her behalf in the purchase of Brodie Farm because she’d been having some problems getting it. Exactly what he did for her Laura never knew, nor did she have any idea how long they were in contact with each other afterwards. All Laura knew that day in Fife was that Jackie seemed to like Robbie, and that made Laura feel better about herself.

She and Robbie never became lovers again, but she did come to consider him a real friend, which made his subsequent actions far less understandable.

By the following summer their meetings had dwindled to less than one a month and Laura assumed Robbie had found a new lady. On the odd occasion he came to the studio, she was glad that he seemed perkier. He had also changed his style from always wearing sharp suits and dated slicked-back hair to casual, younger clothes and a fashionable blow-dry. She teased him about it once and he laughingly said that they all had to move with the times. That day he thanked her for her past kindness and understanding and said he would always value her friendship.

One day in January ’78, Laura arrived at the studio as usual at ten, to find Katy and Pete, the blond hunk from Manchester, waiting outside in the cold. Katy was wearing an old embroidered Afghan coat and jeans, with a woolly hat pulled down over her ears, but she looked frozen. Pete, in a donkey jacket, didn’t appear to be suffering, just perplexed because normally the studio was open at nine.

After an hour’s wait, all of them huddling in Laura’s car, a large van arrived and some workmen got out and opened up the studio doors. Pete went to inquire what was going on and he was told they’d been given instructions to clear the building as it was going to be used as a warehouse again.

It was immediately obvious that Robbie had known of this for some time, and they realized he must have given up or sold his magazine business, otherwise he would have found another studio to use. All three of them were furious. Robbie knew they had rent to pay and children to provide for, yet he hadn’t even had the decency to telephone one of them to apologize. As the photographer hadn’t turned up, that suggested he was in on it too.

For Laura it felt like a stab in the back. She’d given Robbie so much of her time when he most needed a friend, listened to his angry tirades about his wife, comforted him when he said he was afraid he would never see his children again. Time and time again she’d dropped everything for him, she’d cooked him meals, washed and ironed his clothes, and Barney had formed a real attachment to him. She had believed Robbie was really fond of both of them, yet it seemed he had once again only used her for his own ends.

Pete went off disconsolately and Laura went back with Katy to her flat to discuss what they should do. They knew if they went cap in hand to the Social they wouldn’t get any money for several weeks because they couldn’t explain how they had been living up till now.

Katy was a good dancer, so she could go back to stripping if necessary. She had also been saying for some time that she thought she was getting too old for a business which was gradually becoming more demanding and explicit. She paid a very low rent for her flat, as well, so she didn’t feel quite as dejected as Laura, only angry that they’d been let down so suddenly.

But for Laura it was a real calamity. She knew that a job in a shop or an office wouldn’t even cover her rent, and unlike Katy who had a mother close by to keep an eye on her children if she had to work at night, she had no one to help her out with Barney.

They talked and talked around the subject. Katy even suggested that if push came to shove Laura could move to Glasgow where rents were lower and maybe take in a lodger who would babysit in the evenings so she could get work in a night club.

Laura asked her if she knew anyone else that produced pornographic magazines, for she was loath to give up her flat and work for far less money.

‘No, I don’t. Blue movies are the hot thing now anyway,’ Katy said gloomily. ‘And we aren’t up to starring in one of those. They want nubile sixteen-year-olds.’

‘So maybe we should make one,’ Laura retorted. ‘There isn’t much we don’t know about porn between us.’

It was like a flash of lightning brightening up the shabby room. They looked at each other and both grinned. ‘Could we do it?’ Katy asked breathlessly.

‘I don’t see why not. If we could find a photographer who has his heart set on becoming a film-maker, a couple of girls and the right man, we could start our own company.’

It seemed a preposterous idea, well out of their league, but at the same time it appeared startlingly right. For Laura, too, the thought of getting some revenge on Robbie was sweet. He would be pig-sick if they beat him at his own game.

‘There’s Tod,’ Katy said excitedly. Tod had often been used as a stand-in for the regular photographer, and he’d told them he much preferred making films, though the only paid work he’d ever had in filming was doing a couple of short documentaries. Both girls liked him too; he was young and funny and he made things much less embarrassing for everyone.

‘I could write the script and market the first film,’ Laura said. ‘Let’s face it, you don’t need much of a script anyway.’

Katy giggled. ‘I’m pretty certain I could get a couple of girls, and Pete would be glad to be in it,’ she said. ‘But what would we do for a studio, and how would we distribute the film? Do you know anything about that?’

‘We could make the first film in my flat in Edinburgh,’ Laura suggested. ‘That won’t cost us anything. As for the distribution, I can find out about that.’

‘But we haven’t got any money to pay anyone.’ Katy’s face fell. ‘We’ll never get it off the ground.’

‘I’ll borrow some,’ Laura said, thinking of Jackie. ‘Look, I spent most of my early life in promotional work, this isn’t that different. We can do it.’

They did do it too. Laura borrowed £1,000 from Jackie, telling her she wanted it to start up an agency for promotional work, running it from her home. She did of course get the inevitable lecture about keeping proper books and getting receipts for everything, but Jackie appeared really happy that Laura was doing what she called ‘pulling her life together’.

Pete came in on it, bringing with him a petite redhead called Tansin, who had the biggest breasts any of them had ever seen, and Katy found Jazz, a pretty black prostitute who didn’t want to work at nights because she had a child.

Tod joined them, bringing with him a wealth of knowledge about filming, and his charm. Laura had always secretly fancied him; he had an elfin look, with tiny sharp features, spiky hair and rather large ears, but the best thing about him was that he was very articulate and quick-witted, as well as being fun to be around.

He sent Laura to charm Sid Lyons, a night-club owner who was always interested in diversifying. Sid was in his late fifties, a great bull of a man with a hooked nose and a reputation for being as hard as nails. But he must have taken to her, for he promised that if the first video they made was up to scratch, he knew people who would distribute it. He wanted a half share of the profits, but he seemed sure that they would both make a fortune. Laura didn’t believe he would have entertained her plan for a moment if he hadn’t thought it would succeed.