Fade (35 page)

He waited for the rest of it.

“With Ronan,” I mumbled, barely able to force out the faint words.

He tightened his hold on me then relaxed.

“I know,” he said, his voice incredibly calm.

“You know?” I popped my eyes open, trying to scrutinize his expression. He seemed calm, patient, and resigned. “You aren’t angry?”

“At you? No.” He smiled that crooked, half smile and stroked his thumb down my cheek.

I frowned, confused by his reaction. I’d been sure he would be furious with me for my reckless stupidity.

“I hurt you,” he whispered as he stroked my cheek. Remorse filled his eyes. “I never should have left you there like I did. I’m very sorry for that, and I’m very sorry you had to ride with him because of it.”

That was it? No anger? No accusations? No asking me what in the world I’d been thinking?

“You’re not angry?” I questioned, just to make sure I hadn’t awoken in some alternate universe where Dace acted reasonable.

“I’m not angry,” he said. “Or not at you,” he amended, still tracing his thumb up and down my cheek. “I felt frantic when you didn’t answer the phone, but now that I’ve seen you for myself, held you for myself”—he tightened his arms around me and offered me that crooked smile of his again—”I’m better.”

I snuggled against his chest, relieved.

“It was very foolish of you though,” he whispered after a minute. “Even if he isn’t Sköll or Hati, he’s dangerous.”

“I was angry,” I admitted with a sigh. “I didn’t think about the danger until after I got in the car.” I frowned. “He didn’t try anything. He barely even spoke to me.”

I still didn’t get what his behavior had been about. The way he acted had been odd. I decided it didn’t matter. Not yet anyway.

“I have a question.”

“I have an answer,” he teased, his voice light, amused.

“How could you …” I stopped, thinking. “Last night, you said you stayed out of my mind. Why didn’t you—?”

“Why didn’t I look in?” He guessed, amusement still lacing his tone.

I nodded.

“Because you were right.”

“About what?”

“How unfair it is that I get to know everything you’re thinking and feeling but you don’t get to know the same. I hurt you. It wouldn’t have been fair to peek into your mind to see how much damage I caused.” He pressed his lips to my forehead before continuing, “Not knowing made me realize how hypocritical I’ve been all along. I wanted to know what you were thinking more than anything, and I leave you feeling that way all the time.”

“You do,” I said softly.

“I know.” He sighed. “And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Arionna. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. Your mind is fascinating. When things get tense, I concentrate on the chatter running through your mind, and it calms me. I think the wolf feels the same way. He’s calmer since he hurt you. I think it upset him quite a lot that we made you think we blamed you for Chiran’s death.”

He sounded surprised as he said this, as if being in agreement with the wolf was a new concept to him. In a way, I guess he did feel that way. He had never before been on the same page as his wolf.

“I told you so,” I mumbled, rubbing my face against the stubble on his cheek, liking the way his whiskers scratched at my skin. I knew he didn’t trust the wolf yet; he’d told me as much last night. But at least he’d made a little progress.

“You did,” he said, running a hand through my tangled hair. “I should listen to you more often.”

“You should,” I agreed. “I am pretty smart.”

“Yes, you are.” He smiled at me crookedly again. “Very smart.”

We were silent for a few minutes, enjoying the easy peace flowing between us. Our connection was stronger than ever before. I reveled in it, and in the ease that came with it. Being with him like this, him talking to me about how he felt, was what I needed. The newfound understanding between us made me hopeful he’d let me in without reservation some day.

“I have classes today,” I said, considering blowing them off and then thinking better of it. Skipping classes on the first day would be the worst possible way to start a new semester at a new school, especially since they’d already been delayed because of what had happened to Dani. “Do you want breakfast?”

“What do you have in mind?”

Cereal.
“Um.” I thought through the possibilities. “I think we have eggs.”

“What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

“Cereal and fruit,” I said with a small grin, knowing he’d already heard me.

Dace grinned back. “Cereal and fruit is fine, but only if it’s Lucky Charms or Cookie Crisps.” His eyes gleamed.

“No fair!” I laughed and poked him in the chest. “You cheated!”

“Maybe,” he said, swinging to his feet and pulling me up with him. “I never said I wouldn’t peek occasionally, love.”

Somehow I didn’t mind that. I laughed, lacing my fingers with his as we made our way into the kitchen and to breakfast.

Chapter Twenty-Four

W
hen I arrived at my first class of the day, Human Origins and Prehistory, I learned there were a grand total of eleven present in the class. From what I gathered from Professor Ryan, he expected no one else. That surprised me in a good way. The classes at my last school had been a bit larger and felt a lot more impersonal.

My fellow classmates were subdued, and Professor Ryan’s attempts at humor fell flat. I couldn’t concentrate on the material he tried to sound excited about. He failed to engage me, not because he wasn’t engaging—he might have been—but simply because I couldn’t pay enough attention to decide one way or another. My mind was not on principles of anthropology and refused my pathetic attempts to force it to attention. My thoughts were with Dace and the bizarre start to my morning.

Dad strolled in while Dace filled two bowls with Lucky Charms, and I sliced apples and strawberries. He whistled cheerfully and bobbed his head to some imaginary tune. My face heated as he dropped a kiss on my forehead and instructed Dace to get with the coffee.

Dace grinned at me as if to say “I told you so” while Dad prowled through the fridge. I stuck out my tongue at him and finished filling a bowl with fruit.

Sitting down to breakfast between them was awkward for me, and not at all for them. The easy, solid camaraderie between them was evident as they chatted about the new semester. The depth of their friendship became even more evident as they bounced around ideas for the novel.

Dad wanted to explore the rise to popularity of myth in popular culture. Dace argued the topic was too complex to fit into what they were already doing. Dad still chewed that over when Dace rose to leave.

I deposited our bowls in the sink, relieved. Not because Dace was leaving, but because I couldn’t handle sitting between them for another minute. The entire situation felt surreal. I knew Dad could be cool and all, but really! Not a single raised eyebrow or furtive, worried glance? What the hell?

Lingering at the front door, Dace tilted my face and gave me a goodbye kiss.

“Will I see you on campus?” I asked.

“Possibly,” he said against my lips. He tasted like apples and sugar. “I’ll be there from ten to eleven. Call me if you need me, okay?” He cupped my cheek in his palm and gazed down at me. “You’ll do great, love.”

I nodded against his hand, hoping that was true.

He smiled and kissed me deeply once more. “When is your last class?”

“Um, two thirty,” I answered, distracted by his kisses.

“Want to meet some of the other shifters after it’s over?” He pulled back to look at me. “I want to talk to them about Chiran.” His eyes clouded.

“Sure,” I said, faking nonchalance, my stomach fluttering.

“You’ll be fine.” He kissed me hard on the mouth.

I nodded my hesitant agreement as he jogged down the steps to the Jeep. Knowing there were others like Dace and seeing them around town was one thing; meeting them officially was another thing altogether. What if they didn’t think I belonged? Or resented my presence?

“Ari?” Dad called from the kitchen as I worried over the problem.

I knew he hadn’t been as cool about Dace staying as he acted. I just knew it! My feet dragged on the way to the kitchen.

“Yeah?” I asked, shuffling to the sink to take care of the dishes while he finished his coffee. I couldn’t have this conversation while looking him in the eye.

“I have classes until four this afternoon, and then I need to stop by the Inn to help Melinda with a few things,” he said instead of bringing up Dace. ” Will you be okay by yourself?”

I cleared my throat. “I’ll actually be with Dace part of the afternoon.”

”Well, that’s good then. You want to do dinner this evening?”

I rinsed the bowl, then placed it in the drainer. “I’m not sure how late I’ll be.”

“Alright.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Tell Dace to make sure you aren’t out there by yourself after dark, okay?”

“Sure,” I said, having no intention of being out there by myself after dark. After watching Chiran die and knowing someone had done that to him, I had no intention of being out there by myself at all. Not until we were safe. I finished washing the bowls and our coffee mugs then turned off the water, wiping carefully around the sink. Dad put caulking around the metal rim, and I couldn’t help but smile. My fear of that rim was irrational, but he still tried to ease it. I kissed him on the cheek in silent thanks as I started from the kitchen to dress for my first day of classes.

“One more thing, Ari,” he said.

I stopped and turned to him.

“I know you’re worried about whether I’m going to say anything about Dace staying over,” he started, still sipping at his coffee. “I’m not. I know your mom would have panicked, and I’m not saying I’m not going to worry about you two, or that I want it to become a common occurrence, but I trust you. Alright?”

“Sure,” I said, my cheeks heating again.

“I thought you’d like to know that,” he said. “Try to have fun in class today, alright? Oh, and stop by my office if you want to grab lunch. My second class is over at 11:55.”

“I will,” I promised, unable to keep from grinning back.

Dace was right. Dad wasn’t going to freak out.

I swear Dace chuckled in my head as I ran up the stairs.

“Alright, class,” Professor Ryan said, jerking me back into the present.

I glanced around to find my classmates gathering up their books and slinging backpacks across their shoulders.

“That’s it for today. Read chapter three, and we’ll pick up again on Monday."

I’d missed the entire lecture. I gathered my books, my face heating.

“Arionna Jacobs, right?” The guy who sat beside me asked as we rose from our seats. He was cute. A Southern boy through and through, with dark, shaggy hair, a linebacker build, and camo pants. I think I’d met him before.

“Right,” I said.

”I’m Steven. We met at the rave last week.”

“Right! Mia’s boyfriend!” I smiled at him. I knew he looked familiar.

He grinned and nodded. “History major?”

“Undecided at the moment, but probably so,” I said.

He stood to the side and let me out the door ahead of him before stepping up beside me. Our classmates chattered behind us. “What’d you think about Ryan?”

“He seemed okay.” I gave him a half-smile. “I wasn’t paying much attention.”

Steven grimaced. “I don’t think anyone paid much attention. Too much going on … .”

“Yeah,” I said, and then felt guilty that my lack of concentration had little to do with Dani and more to do with everything else. I felt better about starting classes today than I had at any point since arriving in town. I actually felt a little better about everything today.

“What’s your next class?” Steven asked after a minute.

“Comparative Politics.”

He whistled, impressed. “That’s a big leap from Origins.”

“I like to keep things interesting,” I said. In truth, I hadn’t put much thought into my classes. I’d selected available classes at random, and Comparative Politics or Speech and Communications were the only ones that fit my schedule. At the time, politics sounded like the lesser evil. I wasn’t so sure that was true anymore though. I hated politics.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” Steven said, pausing at another door. “This is my stop.”

“Nice to see you,” I told him, and I meant it.

“You, too. Feel free to look me and Mia up if you need anything.”

I called my thanks, not sure what he meant. Realization hit me as I slipped into a seat in the Comparative Politics room five minutes later. The only other time he’d seen me out, I’d been with the sisters and Mandy, obviously a welcome addition to their tightly knit group, and then I’d sat behind the family with Dace, Gage, my Dad and Melinda yesterday.