Fade (20 page)

“Maybe,” he murmured.

“No fair!” I tugged his arm. “I’ve been answering your questions.”

He looked down at me, and this time I saw his face clearly. His eyes were wide and his expression more serious than the lighthearted question demanded. “I’m leading you through the woods to meet a pack of wolves. Isn’t that insane enough for you?”

”You aren’t doing it for the hell of it,” I pointed out. “I badgered you into it.”

“That you did.” He smiled, his expression faintly amused. “We’re there, by the way.”

My gaze flew back to his and then to our surroundings. I gasped. As he’d said, we were no longer in the woods, but on the edge. The moon shone overhead, casting its soft light down into the clearing. A small pond bounced the moonlight back from its surface, making the clearing seem to glow an ethereal blue.

“I see what you mean about not paying attention when you’re walking,” Dace said.

“Told you,” I mumbled, barely looking at him. The surface of the pond was so still, so peaceful, it couldn’t be real. My feet moved toward it of their own accord. “This is beautiful.”

“It is,” Dace said, still beside me as I half floated forward. “I come here a lot.”

“Because of the wolves?”

“Yes. The woods thicken on the other side of the pond. They skirt around farmland and the more rural communities for miles, and are quite dense in places. There aren’t as many people around, so the pack tends to prefer it to the areas closer to town. This is usually as close as they come, and I prefer it out here. I am half wolf, you know,” he said, arching a brow.

I ignored his teasing. “What do shifters have other than sight, sound, speed, and strength?”

“You certainly bounce around in conversation enough, don’t you?”

“Does it bother you?” I looked at him, curious.

“No, but it’s interesting. You have so much running through your mind at once; I never know which thought you’re focused on at any given time. It makes it hard to figure out what’s important to you and what isn’t.” He looked down at me oddly, like he was trying to decipher a puzzle.

”I think like my dad and talk like my mom,” I said quietly. “He’s a thinker, and she liked to chatter. My mind bounces around a lot, and I never know what’s going to pop out. It’s worse when I get nervous.” I stopped at the edge of the pond and looked down, hoping he wouldn’t think to ask if I was nervous now.

The pond was as clear and still up close as it had appeared from across the clearing. Beautiful.

“And who’d you inherit your utter lack of fear from?” His frown bounced back to me from the surface of the water, severe.

“Lack of fear?” I laughed at the absurdity of that statement. I’d done nothing but be afraid lately. “I think I fear plenty.”

“Like what?” He watched me in the surface of the water, examining my face, trying to figure me out again, I think.

“Starting classes here, Ronan, spiders, the little metal rim around the kitchen sink, car accidents, bad haircuts, what’s coming, falling asleep in the bathtub. See? Plenty of fear.”

“Well, at least Ro—” He broke off, looking confused. “The metal rim around the
sink
? Why?”

Damn. I had said that, hadn’t I? “Um, I don’t know. I always worry it’ll slice my finger when I clean around it.” I shrugged, uncomfortable under his gaze. “It creeps me out.”

He stood there for a long minute, looking at me. And then he shook his head and grinned crookedly. “You’re adorable.”

“Doesn’t seem adorable to me,” I said, dipping the toe of my boot into the water and watching the smooth ripples move across the surface.

“It is,” he whispered. “Curious, too.” He looked down to the water, watching the ripples with a little furrow between his brows.

“How so?”

“You’re afraid of the sink because it might cut you, but you were almost attacked by a wolf last week, and you willingly troop through the woods to meet more tonight?” His eyes clouded as he shook his head back and forth. “It’s odd.”

“Fear isn’t always rational, Dace,” I said. “If it were, it would be easily overcome and no one would stress about clowns.” I paused and looked up at him. “Besides, you’re here. That makes a difference.”

Not that I wasn’t afraid of the coming meeting. The thought of meeting a pack of wolves scared the crap out of me, but I did the sanity saving thing and refused to think about it. The less time I spent dwelling on the coming meeting, the less time I had to worry. And the less time I had to worry, the better able to handle the situation I would be.

“That’s another thing,” he said, “I told you I couldn’t control the wolf around you, and you accepted that with no questions asked. Why?” He seemed to be struggling with that.

I kind of wanted to kick his dad for instilling Dace with so much self-doubt. Even if all of this was new to me, and a little strange, Dace wasn’t the monster he believed himself to be, and neither was his wolf.

“You’ve been protecting me since the first time we talked. You ran away when you touched me and thought you were going to lose control—very irritating, by the way. Then you leapt in front of that wolf to keep him away from me. You walked me home in the dark … .”

He watched me, his eyes wide and serious as I explained.

“I’ve felt your wolf from the very beginning. I might not have known what he was, but I’ve never been frightened of him. And his reaction last night is just one of the reasons why. I doubt he would have reacted like he did toward Ronan if he was dangerous to me like you fear he is. And neither would you, for that matter.”

He stared at me, speechless.

”Besides,” I continued, “from the minute I saw you, I felt like I knew you. Nothing about you, no matter how crazy it seems, surprises me at all. Everything about you feels completely natural, like I already knew it. Don’t tell me you don’t feel that.”

“I do,” he whispered.

I nodded. “Finding out the truth was worth a little risk.”

Besides which, I had enough to be afraid of without adding Dace to the list when he didn’t belong there. I’d known that much since the very beginning. Whether because of whatever was in me, because of my connection to him, or simply because I’d grown outright tired of being scared of everything, I didn’t know. Maybe his wolf did pose a danger like Dace feared, but I worried about my heart more. It was already broken … not so sure I could handle him shattering it entirely.

He looked like he was working up to a glower as he processed my confession.

I decided to cut him off at the pass. I didn’t want to argue with him anymore. “Dace,” I said, shaking my head as a shadow moved on the far side of the lake. “No more sniping at me today, please. I’m tired, I’m sad, and I don’t want to fight with you right now. Besides, your wolves are coming.”

Chapter Fourteen

D
ace’s brow furrowed. “What?”

I pointed across the pond at the black shadow slipping from beneath the trees, feeling quite satisfied I’d managed to leave him speechless for once. The shadow slid gracefully out of the trees and then broke into two shadows. Two wolves. Dace tensed as soon as he saw them, pulling me behind him.

“Like I said,” I murmured, unable to resist the chance to prove my point, “you’re always protecting me.”

He shot a dark look over his shoulder, but didn’t argue.

“Remember what I told you,” he warned me, whipping his head back around.

I did remember what he’d said. Intimately, as a matter of fact. Did he think I’d been rambling for the last half hour for my health? I snorted. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t figured that out already.

I worked up courage then peeked around him, my nerves tingling and fear rippling through me now that I had nothing else to focus on. Two wolves, both dark gray—and looking more dangerous than the Dace-wolf I saw in my head—walked toward us, a graceful power in their steps. My hands trembled. I shoved them into my coat pockets, not wanting Dace to see how they shook.

“Kalei, Buka.” He inclined his head in the direction of the wolves rounding the pond, sounding as if he were speaking to equals.

They stopped as soon as they were on our side of the water and sat back on their haunches, eyeing Dace. The stiff way they sat, with their backs straight and their ears standing upright, made both appear nervous, wary. The larger of the two looked at me and then back to Dace.

“Yes. Arionna,” he said, answering some silent question.

I wondered what that question was and then decided it could wait. The smaller of the two rose to its feet and took a hesitant step forward, wolf eyes on me. The animal looked calm enough, but I swallowed hard, my hands fluttering uselessly in my pockets.

“Buka would like to greet you, Arionna. Will you allow it?” Dace’s eyes were on the wolves as he held his protective stance in front of me.
She won’t harm you,
he thought, not as formally as he spoke to the wolves.
She’s curious. Don’t be afraid.

Easy for him to say
, I grumbled to myself, knowing he could hear me. He may have been used to frolicking with wild wolves. As he had so recently reminded me, however, my one and only previous encounter with a not Dace-wolf hadn’t exactly been of the frolicking nature.

“Yes,” I forced out before I lost the nerve altogether. My voice squeaked. I cleared my throat and took a tentative step away from the protective warmth Dace provided.

He moved forward as soon as I did, refusing to leave my side. I didn’t mind.

“I will allow it,” I said, looking back to the wolves. I wasn’t sure I needed to be so formal, but I decided to take my cue from Dace.

The largest wolf, Kalei, remained seated. Buka whipped her head around to look at Dace, a question apparent in the subtle tilt of her head. He chuckled under his breath, and she took another cautious step in my direction.

What did she say?
I walked forward again, my nerves no less shaky than they had been with my first step. Less than five feet separated me from Buka now. Her coat was a lighter gray than I’d originally thought. White streaks shot through the gray, like small highlights. She was lovely, but that did nothing to calm my nerves.

She asked if you were one of the humans they put in places with bars on the windows
. His voice in my head was half-wry amusement and half-serious question, as if he were having trouble deciding on the answer himself.

“I’m not crazy,” I protested, my fear momentarily replaced by irritation. I took another step and scowled at him.

Buka shot a reproachful look in his direction.

I watched Dace out of the corner of my eye, the majority of my attention still on the wolf. Two feet now. I took another shuffling step, less hesitant this time.

“What?” I asked him, frustrated that he had to translate.

“She wonders why you’re not afraid of her.”

“Oh, I am afraid,” I said, looking back to her, “but I know I’m safe.”

She turned her head in Dace’s direction, not breaking eye contact with me.

“Why?” he asked aloud. Her question.

“Because Dace is here,” I explained to her. Maybe I would freak out later, but walking toward her didn’t seem so overwhelming with Dace so near. He spoke of them as friends, and apparently that made a difference somewhere in the far reaches of my mind … or enough of a difference to keep my feet moving forward anyway.

They wouldn’t hurt me; Dace would ensure that.

Buka closed the distance between us and stopped, sitting back on her haunches as she had after entering the clearing. She cocked her head to the side.

“You trust him?” Dace murmured. Her question again, but his tone.

“I do,” I confirmed, slightly breathless at the awe in his voice and the situation in general.

Buka regarded me with serious, yellow wolf eyes for long moments. She looked like she searched my face for something that would prove those simple words false. She would find nothing there though. I’d spoken nothing but the truth. I trusted Dace with my safety.

She bowed her head then as if nodding and sniffed the air around me. The soft sighing sound relaxed me further. She whined and sniffed again.

I looked to Dace for explanation.

”She thinks you smell like wildflowers.”

“I do?” I smiled at her. “Thank you.”

She inclined her head, the movement graceful, regal almost.

“Will Kalei join us?” I asked her, looking to Dace as well.

A small frown played at the corners of his mouth. He turned to Kalei, who had not moved an inch since Buka stepped forward to meet me.

“She will wait,” he said firmly, more a command to her than an answer to me, I think.

She tilted her head, but otherwise didn’t move.

“I don’t mind, Dace, truly,” I said, watching her. She seemed more majestic than Buka, more dignified. Buka reminded me of a small child in a way. Grown up and huge, but curious and very inquisitive at the same time. Kalei didn’t bring to mind curious children, but wizened elders and endless patience. The contrast was interesting to say the least.

“She will wait,” Dace repeated, more softly this time.

I didn’t press the issue, and turned back to Buka. “May I touch you?” I inched my hand toward her head.