Fade (24 page)

I reached up and prodded gently at the lump on my head, all the reasons why that didn’t bother me as much as it probably should running through my mind.

I really was in deep.

Chapter Sixteen

T
he wolf dreams came that night, flooding through my sleeping mind in a kaleidoscope of confusing images. Kalei and the unnamed wolf in the woods, energetic Buka and her silky fur … . I dreamed of wolves fighting alongside men, of men trembling, shaking, and dropping to all fours, and of wolves trembling and shaking before shifting into men. Each scene seemed without end, stretching on for millennia, as familiar to me as Dace.

I dreamed of him, too. His wolf stood guard over me, watching me with those beautiful, emerald eyes. They shone with devotion and pride as he stared at me. I knew the same reflected in my eyes as I stared back. Each time he appeared in wolf form, I ached with a piercing sense of familiarity and longing.

I felt the same every time two great wolves came forward, walking alongside a man. I couldn’t see any of the three clearly, but I knew the wolves were ancient and fearsome. I didn’t fear them though. I feared
for
them, and when they ran, I wanted to run with them. Even in my sleep, the part lying deep inside me ached. Sorrow, longing … . I woke with tears drying on my cheeks more than once.

But those dreams were easy. Others were not.

Coal-black twin wolves raced after something, snapping at the air. Their growls haunted me, seeming full of warnings I could not understand. I couldn’t see what they chased either, but every time they got close, fear ran through me like an electric current. I knew if they ever caught their prey in reality, we were all doomed.

A massive black wolf snapped a thin chain wound around its neck and leapt from the bowels of the Earth. Every time he burst free, fire exploded into the skies and rain poured like tears, drowning us all. I couldn’t let that happen. That knowledge bubbled up from the same place as the wolf inside me and lingered long after the sun burned away the shadows of night.

Throughout each and every scene playing through my mind, Dace protected me, offering me comfort from the disturbing images flitting through my subconscious. Nothing made sense, and even asleep, I knew everything should. That those images were important for some reason, and the sooner I unraveled the mystery cloaked within, the better off we’d all be.

One thing did become clear: The task before me, whatever fate had in store for me, was as monumental as I suspected it might be. And it wasn’t my task alone. Dace and I were bound together, meant to face this thing side by side.

When my eyes popped open at eight the following Thursday morning, that truth did not abate. Dace and I were destined to do something extraordinary, something important. A sense of familiarity tickled the back of my mind as I lay there sorting through my dreams, trying to find answers. I’d seen the images before, heard the stories they contained. I should have known what they meant, but I didn’t.

Frustration bubbled up. Frustration at myself for not knowing what my dreams were telling me, and frustration at the situation for being so damn frustrating. I didn’t have time to waste on cryptic dreams. Things were happening, bad things, and they weren’t going to wait for me and Dace to figure them out. We were stumbling, half blind, when we should have been running.

Dad tapped on the door to my bedroom before I could work myself up from frustration to outright irritation. I sat up, pulling the comforter up with me and called for him to come in.

He poked his head around the doorframe but didn’t enter. “Sorry to bother you so early,” he said, “but I wanted to let you know I’m headed out for a while. Will you be okay by yourself today?”

“I’ll be fine, Dad,” I assured him, running a hand through my tangled hair. Auburn strands caught in my fingers, forcing me to tug them free.

Dad hung around the house the last few days, keeping me company. I think maybe he expected me to fall apart beneath the weight of my grief over my mom and Dani, and he wanted to be there when I did. I hadn’t yet, but I wasn’t sure how long my tenuous hold on strength would last.

Dace had not come to see me since our meeting with Kalei and Buka, and I felt stretched tight. As if everything inside of me had grown too big to fit properly. I called him every day, but talking on the phone didn’t help. He was shutting me out, keeping me at a distance, and I could do nothing to stop him.

“I’ll have my phone with me if you need anything,” Dad said. He started to slide back out of the room and then stopped and turned toward me. “Be careful if you go out, okay?”

”Is something wrong?”
Or more wrong than it has been?
Everyone knew about Dani’s murder, and they were restless. Dace said the shifters were trying to keep everyone calm, but his attempts weren’t going as well as he’d hoped. People were frightened.

How long would it be until the wolves were no longer safe? A day? Two?

Dad hesitated and then frowned a little. “I thought I saw one of those wolves lurking out there when I went out for the paper this morning. I’m sure it’s nothing, though. Probably just a dog.”

One of the wolves was outside the house? “Oh,” I murmured.

Dad’s eyes widened, and I cringed internally. I guess that hadn’t sounded anywhere near nervous enough for him. The wolves no longer frightened me though. Besides, I figured the wolf Dad saw was Buka, probably protecting me from afar. I appreciated the thought, even if hanging around did put her in danger. We were going to have to figure something else out, because I didn’t want her to get hurt. I would
not
let anything happen because of me.

“Dad?” I called as he retreated into the hall.

He turned back to me, a question in his brown eyes.

“How much do you know about Dace?”

His expression froze. For a full two count, he didn’t so much as breathe, and then he exhaled sharply.

His reaction confirmed enough. Dad knew.

“How long have you known?” I shifted on the bed. “Were you ever going to tell me that you knew?” The question came out sounding angry, and I guess I was. I’d told Dad that Dace and I were dating, and he’d said nothing. Not one single word. That bothered me because everyone was doing the same thing lately. Everyone kept things from me, refused to let me in. I hated it. How the hell was I supposed to make decisions and be an adult if everyone treated me like a child?

I had a broken heart. But grief didn’t make me an idiot. I resented that everyone kept treating me like one. Dad and Dace told me that I was supposed to cry and be sad. But when it came right down to it, every time I cried, or got scared, or had a bad day, I felt like I only proved to them that I couldn’t handle any of this, and that didn’t seem fair because I tried my best.

Yes, I felt overwhelmed. Yes, I hurt. Yes, I got scared. And yes, the things happening to me were confusing. But I was trying to cope, and every time I didn’t deal perfectly, every time I wondered why I wasn’t running for my life, and every time I cried, they treated me with kid gloves. I felt like trying wasn’t good enough. Everyone kept waiting for me to fall apart instead of acknowledging that I’d been holding on and doing a damn good job of it.

What would it take to make them see that?

“I didn’t think it was my place to tell you,” he mumbled apologetically. “And I’ve known for the last two years. He helped me out with something once.”

He didn’t think it was his place to tell me. My own father! My mouth gaped, and I couldn’t quite seem to get it to close again. Days of frustration boiled over.

“What did he help you with?” If he told me he was a shifter too, I would kill him and Dace. Truly, I would.

“Look”—he held up his hands to stave off the brewing storm—”I trust him. If there is anyone who will put your safety above everything else, who will treat you with respect and care for you, it’s Dace.”

“What did he help you with, Dad?” I bit out between clenched teeth, refusing to be placated that easily.

“Uh, I was walking out by the Inn about two years ago and saw one of the shifters change. He was just a kid, and he panicked when he realized I saw him. He charged at me, but Dace managed to calm him down before any he did any damage.” Dad rubbed at his chin, as he had a tendency to do when he was deep in thought. “With the kid changing right in front of me and Dace taking charge of the situation like he did, I kind of figured it out from there. Dace has always been different; I suppose it didn’t surprise me to have that feeling confirmed.”

“Oh.” Well, at least Dad wasn’t a shifter too. Although, in a way, it would have been nice to know if he ever felt like I had since moving here. How did I ask that without opening up a can of worms better left closed? I didn’t have a clue. “Who else knows?”

“Not many. Edwards, that boy’s parents, and two others who are married to shifters. There aren’t many like them in the area, but they all view Dace as their leader.”

“And you’re comfortable with this?” I questioned, not sure if I meant with me and Dace, or with the existence of this entire other world.

”I’ve studied mythology for a very long time, sweetheart. I suppose it’s always seemed a little unrealistic that all these creatures of myth are only figments of the imagination. Finding out there is some truth to the myths wasn’t necessarily easy, but I know these people and I trust them.” He perched on the edge of the bed, frowning thoughtfully. “They’ve as much right to exist as anyone else. They’re good people, normal people.”

“You’re fine with me and Dace?” I couldn’t wrap my mind around that.

He chuckled a little. “I’ve known him for years, Arionna. He’s a good guy. I’ve seen how much his shifters respect him and how easily he keeps them under control. He didn’t know how I would react to finding out the truth. He knew things could get bad for him if I reacted poorly, but he saved my life without hesitation, and I know he’d do it again in a heartbeat if necessary. You’re an adult now, and I can’t stop you from dating whoever you want, but what father wouldn’t want their daughter’s boyfriend to be someone who he knows firsthand would risk his life to keep her safe?”

Put that way, I guess his argument did make sense. But still, where was the parental outrage? The disbelief? The grounding attempts? I was dating a shifter, and he was okay with it.

I closed my eyes, feeling ridiculous. A week ago, I’d been thrilled Dad didn’t make a fuss about me and Dace. I should have been relieved he knew the truth about Dace and that I wouldn’t have to try to hide it from him. Besides, Dad had never grounded me, and I was too old for him to start now.

Sometimes, being an adult was downright weird.

“And the rest of it?” I asked, opening my eyes again. “You accept it, no questions asked?”

“What questions would you have me ask, Ari?” Dad rebuked, his tone gentle and critical at once. “It’s not like he or anyone else with the ability had a choice in the matter. Aside from Dace, most are as clueless about why it happens as anyone else would be if they knew.”

He had a point there. The last of my anger fled. He truly was awesome. “That’s what you were hinting at when you told me to be careful, wasn’t it?” I guessed, frowning. “If you trust him, why all the warnings?”

“You’re my daughter, hon. Just because I trust him doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you. I know he’ll do everything he can to keep you safe, but things don’t always happen the way you want them to.” He pursed his lips, the worried glint in his eyes growing. “To be honest, I’m a lot more leery of that now than I was then.”

I knew exactly what he meant. “Well, you don’t have to worry about his shifters. They didn’t kill Dani. You don’t have to worry about the wolves either,” I added. “They belong to Dace, too.” Or something like that. I still wasn’t clear on how that worked.

“I thought as much,” he said, the worried lines around his mouth smoothing a little.

“You weren’t sure? Why not?” I sat up a little higher in bed.

“Would you believe me if I said I was afraid to ask?” he questioned, looking at me. “Had a shifter been responsible, I’d have had to break your heart.”

Everything I’d experienced lately rushed back to the surface and squeezed my heart in a vise. I understood him being hesitant to demand answers when there was a real possibility those answers would require him to put his foot down to protect me. I hadn’t told him how connected Dace and I were, but he knew I cared about Dace. And I figured it was obvious to him that Dace had been good for me. I hadn’t fallen into hysterics in weeks. I was sleeping, and eating. Laughing.

Dad didn’t want to have to take something else away from me unless he absolutely had to, especially when so much else had already been lost. We were both floundering in foreign territory here, but Dad was doing his best to help me. I wanted to cry a little at how loved that made me feel.

”Yeah, I can believe that,” I said, my voice soft, grateful. “Thanks, Dad, for everything.”

“Welcome, hon.” He eyed me, the frown lines deepening again. “You sure you’ll be okay by yourself today?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I pushed the covers off my legs as he rose to his feet. My heart might have hurt, but he didn’t have to put his life on hold to take care of me. Like he kept saying, I was an adult. Weird, but true. So he and Dace both had to start treating me like one. “I may go sit with Chelle and Beth for a while.”